The Life of John Wilson
Issue #8

Rush Limba - Lying Nazi Whore

 


As editor of the Rush Limba - Lying, Nazi Whore magazine,
I think I've shown great restraint not mentioning mad cow disease.


What big, big lies did Rush tell this week?

"Don Imus always tells the truth, always,
... except when he's talking about me."

The very next caller said "Rush, be serious. How can you
say Imus ALWAYS tells the truth except about you?"
The lying whore said "You'd have to ask him."

Everyone knows the real answer here.
Imus slurs everybody, but Rush wants it both ways.
If Imus slurs Clinton, Rush says he's being honest and truthful.
If he's slurring The Giver of Shade, Rush says Imus is lying this one time only.

...and his dittoheads believe every word...


On Larry King this week, they showed items of Jackie O's that
are to be auctioned at Sotheby's. That reminds me of one of
Porky Pig's most hateful slurs ever. I heard this myself, so
I don't want any dittosheep telling me I've got it wrong.
The very frigging day they were lowering Jackie into the ground at Arlington,
Rush did a 3 hour hate-rant about what a horrible woman she was.

He mentioned her deceit, her backstabbing, her uppity attitude,
her holier-than-thou demeanor and on and on and on.

Rush Limba, the Cream of the GOP, "Our American Treasure," the man who
always takes the high road, and wouldn't screw your wife or daughter in a Motel 6,
(his words, not mine), the man millions of dittosheep want their kids to use as a role model,
this icon of all that's good and decent about the religious right and the GOP said:

"I wonder if Jackie's grave is any colder than the bed she shared with JFK?"

Whoa!

That dirty bastard gives lying, nazi's whores a bad reputation.


Quick!

Who's more patriotic?
The basketball player with religious beliefs or the "We don't live in America" Freemen?


One more time, just so I have it straight:

Money from trial lawyers is bad,
Money from Big Tobacco and the NRA is good.
 

...how'd I do?


WE/THEY

We have Phil Donahue
They have Rush Limbaugh

We have Jesse Jackson
They have David Koresh

We have Rosa Parks
They have Randy Weaver

We have Bill Clinton
They have need-a-pardon Dick Nixon

Al Gore can spell

We have Ted Kennedy
They have Tim McVeigh

We have Martin L. King
They have Terry Randal

We have the NAACP
They have the KKK

We have Reagan's support for the Brady Bill
They don't

We have Professor Hill
They have Penthouse Paula Jones

We have science and logic
They have Jesse Helms

We have Molly Ivins
They have PJ O'Rourke (No foul there)

We have Goldwater's pro-choice vote
They don't

We have the ACLU
They have the NRA

We have religious freedom
They have state-controlled prayer

We have the Sierra Club
They have Union Carbide

We have Jimmy Carter building homes for the poor
They have Reagan's $6 million speeches

We offer freedom of choice
They would force you to have your rapist's baby

We have the Bill of Rights
They have "See, I Told You So"

Clinton wanted FEWER names on the Vietnam Memorial
They disagree strongly with Clinton


A message for Kansan Bob Dole:

There's no place like home.


The Honorable Alfonse D'Amato has a web site.

http://www.damato/pound/Hillary.com


OJ has his site up, too.
http://control.control/\\/ \//\-.escape.enter.home
 


The Log Cabin Republican's Homepage

c:enter


Pat Buchanan was knocking them dead in Louisiana:

"What do lesbians and Washington bearucrats have in common?"

"Neither of 'em does dick!"


CLINTON IS SO LUCKY

President Clinton's lucky streak continues.
He's already 10-14 points ahead of tired, old Bob Dole.
(Has anyone seen Dole's arthritis medicine?)

Big Tobacco is having a tough time these days, too.
They're smearing Dan Morales, Texas Attorney General for daring
to try to slow the 400,000 cigarette deaths each year.

How dare he try to save those lives?
Who does he think he is, Clinton?

Now, these wackos from Montana are here to demonstrate the difference
between a very sane President Clinton and the wacky, less-government nuts
that have seized control of the McVeigh wing of the GOP.

The Freemen are promising their siege will end "Bigger than Waco."
Suddenly, Clinton's get-tough-with-heavily-armed-dorks policy looks pretty sound.
The GOP was hoping to use Randy Weaver and David Koresh as twin
poster boys for the San Diego Slurfest, but that has changed.

As always, the cowardly Freemen trapped their children, too, hoping they'll die too,
so they can scream "big government killed my baby" when they set the big fire.

Speaking of yellow cowards, we don't hear much from El Porko about the Montana siege.
Like cowardly Dole, Rush is waiting to see how it will end
so he can claim Clinton bungled it later.

The NRA is "honoring" Koresh and Tim McVeigh by holding
their annual convention on that most sacred of days, April 19.

In a rare showing of sanity, many of the GOP faithful have lost faith in the NRA.
The NRA reports a 14% drop in membership, and a 22% loss in fund raising.
Matter of fact, the NRA has a budget deficit of over $58,000,000 and rising.

Maybe they couldn't really afford that Congress they bought in 1994?
You'd think these supply-siders would show a little restraint in their wild spending, but nooooooo.

And where is our old friend Senator Straddle during all this?
Senator Straddle is being held under lock and key, waiting for something to happen
in Montana so he can claim he would've done the opposite.

Dole holds the record for appearances on Meet The Press with 83, but now that he's actually in a position to influence the nation, he's hiding like a scared woman. Do we want a President who's
too afraid to speak?

Dole has to figure a way to condemn the idiocy in Montana without hurting Ralph Reed's feelings. Speaking of religious insanity, and we goddamn sure were, the Freemen are saying
"We don't live in America. We live in Montana."

Is this "creation geography?"

The only way Clinton could get any luckier is if Dole
catches the flu a couple of weeks before the election.


Did you see Clinton leading Dole in California by 21 points?


I've got the GOP agenda figured out.
Here's how it goes:

1. John Wilson, a high school graduate, has a wife and two kids.
John was on welfare, but had a good job lined up until the
reversal of affirmative action gave it to a white guy.

2. John looks for work, finding only menial jobs.
The GOP wins the fight to keep the minimum wage at
a level below the poverty line.

3. John's family loses all medical when the GOP cuts welfare and WIC.

4. GOP cutbacks in government housing cost them their apartment.

5. GOP cutbacks on job training kill John's chances of ever
earning more than Newt's minimum wage.

6. John's wife is pregnant with a third child. They love kids,
but they can't afford another child if John's not working.
The GOP made abortion illegal, causing a huge increase in the
urban birth rate and deaths from illegal, back-alley abortions.

7. Then, after taking John's job, his health care, his ability to
get by on a simple wage, and his home, the GOP forces the
Wilsons to bring the fetus full-term.

8. Rush says "There are no poor people in America.
There are only those who are consumed with negativism."

9. So John Wilson, homeless, with a hungry family, turns to
stealing food and gets caught.

10. Not to worry, John.
The GOP is cracking down on crime, too.

It's a good plan.

.if only that damn Clinton would get out of the way.


Before we go, a few fun quotes, all real.

"I want to make sure everybody who has a job wants a job"

       --George Bush, 1988

"Now, like, I'm President. It would be pretty hard for some drug guy to come
into the White House and start offering it up, you know? ...
I bet if they did, ....I hope I'd say, "Hey, get lost. We don't want any of that.'"

       --George Bush, talking drugs to a group of students

"For seven years I've worked alongside President Reagan.
We've had triumphs.
Made some mistakes.
We've had some sex ... uh....setbacks."

       --George Bush

"The caribou love it. They rub against it and they have babies.
 There are more caribou in Alaska than you can shake a stick at."

       --George Bush, on the Alaska pipeline

"I hope I stand for anti-bigotry, anti-Semitism, anti-racism. This is what drives me."

       --George Bush
 

Walter Mondale: Bush doesn't have the manhood to apologize.

Bush: On the manhood thing, I'll put mine up against his any time.
 

"I am a jelly doughnut"

   --Literal translation of John F. Kennedy at the Berlin Wall

"If we do not succeed, we run the risk of failure."

  --Quayle, Phoenix Republican Forum, March 90


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