Vol 10 - Dole, The Grim Reaper

I'm already starting to feel sorry for Dole and the GOP.

Sure, it's not over yet, but they'd have to catch Clinton
with a dead girl or a live boy for him to lose.

Caught with a live girl, he could still win.
Those arrogant GOP freshman may get there wish about
"going to Washington, voting a few times and going home."

You might be a Republican if...

You say poverty would end if workers were allowed
to keep more of their $4.25 wage.

You refer to someone as "my (insert racial minority here) friend."

You think Jesus was a supply-sider.

You're pro-life AND pro-electric chair.

You think Huey Newton is a cookie.

You call mall cops "jack-booted thugs."

You don't think "The Simpsons" is funny, but you watch it
because Flanders makes a lot of sense.

You scream "Ditto" when you reach orgasm.

You think Birkenstock was a rock concert in 1969.

You say you need an AK-47, in case bears attack your home.

Vietnam made sense to you.

You point to Hootie and the Blowfish as evidence of
the end of racism in America.

You call Anita Hill a "lying bitch"
at a Bob Packwood fund-raiser.

You spent MLK Day reading "See, I Told You So."

You've ever told a homeless man to "knock it off."

Handling YOUR Money.....

If you look at the debt added during a president's term
as a loan from us, what return on that investment did we get
in the economy during those same years?

Increased     Increased         Return on
GDP           Debt              Investment

Carter 959.9 280.1 31.2%
Reagan 2164.3 1692.3 3.1%
Bush 1113.1 1400.8 -5.7%
Clinton 1083.0 918.9 5.5%

(in billions)

If you like money, vote Democrat in November.

Listen to the GOP squeel about Rosty's light sentence.

Rosty was guilty but at least he's going to jail.

Did Ollie North do any time?

Did Dick Nixon do time?

Did Reagan or Butch or Meese do time?

Don't forget, Butch pardoned his Iran-Contra buddies
because they were going to testify AGAINST him.

...yet the GOP squeels about Rosty?

Mary Matalin, banned from the GOP.
What's she going to do now?
If she's no longer welcome in the GOP, how can she
argue their positions on her TV show?
She says it's sexism. Nobody asked Carville to leave.

Why would the intolerant GOP eat their own?
The "me monkeys" are hanging themselves.

This just in....

At a party Friday night, Rush ate a pill designed to
"destroy ugly fat cells" and hasn't been seen since.

Them Wacky Catholics

Have you heard about the wacky Catholic bishop?
He runs the Lincoln, Nebraska franchise for The Vatican.
Last month he changed some key rules. Starting on a certain
date, any Catholic that belongs to planned parenthood and
a small list of other "bad" groups, is "excommunicated."
In other words, they're thrown out of the Church and
one presumes, out of God's eternal embrace as well.
However, there's a problem.
The Catholics in Wichita, commiting the same "sin,"
go right to Heaven, no problem.

Last week I got on the Catholic chat and tried to get some
opinions on this. You guessed it, they saw "no problem"
with this ruling by the bishop. When I pointed out the
Lincoln/Wichita factor, they clammed up like
Conservatives do when forced to look at the facts.

They said "your question is ridiculous" and "if you don't
know, we're certainly not going to tell you" and any other
trick possible to avoid answering a VERY direct question.

Among the possibles here:
If the Lincoln bishop moves to Buffalo, are the Lincolns
free to work at women's clinics?
Do the people of Buffalo now lose thousands of souls to
Satan because he moved there, instead of, say Birmingham?
What if you live in Lincoln 6 months per year?
What if you're a Denver Catholic, and you move to Lincoln
after the ruling is in effect?
What if, next year, the bishop decides those that read
Playboy are out. The month after it's those that watch
HBO late at night. Pretty soon you'll be out for not
supporting the cut in capital gains.

I tried and tried to appeal to the more intellectually
oriented Catholics, (oxymoron?) but they kept pretending
not to understand the question so they wouldn't have to
answer it. I think it's crazy to dedicate your life to
a system of beliefs that you cannot explain.

Same with Conservatives:
Most of you know I argued politics for almost 5 years
with the folks on the Rush Limba Radio BB on Prodigy.
In that five years, I was able to answer every question
put to me, yet I could stump the right constantly.

Grab a Conservative and say "Who picks the prayer?"
and you'll see genuine panic. Then the same nut will
kill to get school prayer run by "big government."

Religion is inherently based on that which one would
never believe without a heavy dose of faith.
It's like watching a Superman movie.

If you shout "People can't fly" every time Superman
takes off, you won't enjoy the movie. Once you suspend
the facts, and accept that he CAN fly, you can proceed.

What's my point?

My way, the liberal way, can be defended easily.
The conservative view acnnot be succesfully defended,
as I proved when G Gordon Liddy took The Quiz.
After reading my questions in their entirety, he was
unable to answer without altering the questions.
Or, as he did on one occassion, avoid answering by
using a lawyerly loophole to avoid the question.
(audio tape copies available)

So, if religious people and conservatives cannot
define their beliefs, maybe they should get out of
the way and let those of us that know the way proceed.

By the third grade, the nuns at Holy Family Catholic
grade school were unable to answer my questions.

Can I ask a question about the "liberal media?"

It seems to me that saying all media people are biased,
or are in on Clinton's "conspiracy" makes as much
sense as saying "All hockey players like hot dogs" or
saying "All plumbers drive Fords" or "people that bowl
prefer Pepsi over Coke."

But nooooooooooooooo.

You can't say that, because it sounds too goddamn stupid.
To suggest reporters and editors and writers are somehow
in on the "liberal media conspiracy" is so laughable on
it's face, democrats should be ashamed they haven't
lanced that phony cyst years ago.

While we're on the subject, could someone explain why
there aren't any conservatives rich enough to buy a TV
station, a magazine or a newspaper? Are they too broke
because of Reaganomics? Why can't they afford anything
bigger than the American Spectator and the Nazi Weekly?
(The Rev. Moon owns the Washington Post, the most anti-
Clinton major newspaper. Why would some Americans line
up with the Moonies to attack their president?)

Why is it that ONLY ultra-liberals own communications?
As Fatboy would say "Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm???????"

Rush Limba - Lying Nazi Whore will set the record
straight for those who buy their Woolite by the case:

When the media says Gramm is a mean-spirited old fart,
they're not biased. Gramm's a mean-spirited old fart.
When they say "Clinton was charming" they're not lying,
he or she IS charming.

If there's ANY chance the media has a liberal bias,
it's because most of them are well-educated and
being educated will turn you liberal faster than
Rush can eat a baked ham.

As always, if ANYBODY has a clue to any of the above
questions, PLEASE straighten me out. And, no Duane,
that doesn't mean you should send me a 20,000 word
canned reply from the RNC home page. If you can't
answer a simple question, please refrain from
ringing the "conspiracy" bell.

Hillary is assailed for having opinions.

The GOP thinks women should bake cookies, especially
if their husband is president. Betty Ford and Barbara
Bush are pro-choice, but they didn't fight for women's
rights when they had the stage. RL-LNW doesn't know
Nancy Reagan's position, but don't forget, Nancy was
a Warner Brothers studio "comp." That's how they met.
She might be pro-life, since she was pregnant
when she walked down the aisle with Ronnie.

Elizabeth Dole might be pro-choice.
When will we know? And if she is pro-choice, will
she be allowed to have that opinion publically?
If Elizabeth Dole gets to the White House,
(ha ha, I know, I know)
will she use her powers to fight for immunization
programs for children? Will she fight for women's
rights? Will she fight to have deadbeat husbands
pay for his children's expenses? Will she ask for
more spending for education? Or will she take the
money and the power and sell-out to bake cookies
for Bob Dole's buddies at Big Tobacco and the NRA?

From today's (4/21/96) Meet The Press with Dole

MTP: Senator, are you for raising the minimum wage?

Dole: Our view is maybe file cloture on the
immigration bill. That's a very important piece
of legislation. In addition, you know we talked
about maybe including the minimum wage as part
of a package in our talks with the president.
This may mean the democrats have given up on
any bi-partisan agreement on the budget. If they
have, they'll continue to press the minimum wage.

(Tim the Whore looks at the other panelists to see
if they have any clue what Bob Dole just said.)

MTP: Senator, that's a very complicated answer.

Dole: That's because it's a very complicated issue.

(Excuse me? MTP was asking for a "yes" or "no,"
and old Senator Straddle was unable to answer.)

MTP: Let's try again: Would you support a minimum
wage increase in any form?

Dole: Well, I did in 19__...I've done it about twice.
Obviously, you can't argue that people can make it on $4.25 an hour.
Will there be an increase? I assume there will. My view is the President
didn't do a thing when he had a democratic congress.
We have to deal with it, so I assume we will.

(Jesus, no WONDER he's called Senator Straddle.
Hey, Bob Dole. Is it raining outside?
Dole: I think my view is that it may be raining, and if it is,
we will deal with that rain with leadership. I've been tested and tested.)

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