Did you know Rush never voted for Ronald Reagan?
The only presidential vote he EVER cast was for a man
he called "a Clinton-clone," George Herbert Traitor Bush.
Do you know why Rush never voted for Reagan?
Quote: "I didn't feel like standing in line to register."
There's a big KKK rally happening May 4th in Tulsa,
where the home offices of RL-LNW are located.
I'm going to get a t-shirt that says "RUSH IS RIGHT"
in big, FAT letters and get in the parade.
I sure hope my picture makes the national news!
Did you know a spokeswoman for P.E.T.A. wrote
Rush's theme song? It's true. Chrissy Hynde of
the rock group "The Pretenders" wrote the song
"My City Was Gone" for their first album.
She's a huge contributor and spokeswoman for
PETA, the group that thinks torturing animals
is bad. Of course, that means Rush ridicules them.
I Have An Idea
It just struck me. I have a good idea on how
to solve the abortion dilemma once and for all.
I'm sure this will work.
Why don't we get, say, our last 5 presidents to choose
the nine smartest legal minds in America and huddle them
together in seclusion.
Then these nine legal geniuses could use their great
minds to hammer out, once and for all, a bi-partisan
answer to this complicated problem that causes so
much animosity in our fine country.
Once this happens, we could.....
What?
They did?
A friend just told me THIS HAS HAPPENED ALREADY!!
It's The Supreme Court and they have RULED!
It's called Roe vs. Wade. Look into it.
So all you Right-to-Life clinic bombers should just face
the facts that your side lost and shut the hell up.
See? I knew it would work.
Couple fails at suicide!
The AP reports distraught Chinese lovers Huang Pin-jen
and Chang Shu-mei tried to commit suicide three times.
They failed.
First, they drove their car off a cliff.
Didn't work.
Cuts and bruises.
Then they tried to hang themselves.
Hurt their necks.
Finally, they leapt off a 12-story hotel roof while
holding hands. You'd think that would work, but no.
They landed on a five-story restaurant roof and were
listed in stable condition with bone fractures.
Maybe the Republican freshmen could give them
pointers on how to successfully commit suicide?
In Muskogee, Oklahoma three militia-types were found guilty
of conspiring to build ammonium-nitrate bombs. What were
they going to do with these McVeigh-type bombs?
They were attempting to blow up
"gay bars, abortion clinics and civil-rights groups."
Gee, I wonder which political party they belong to?
I can understand their desire to kill at women's clinics.
I sorta understand the killing of gay.
Republicans have always hated people God chose to
have the gene that causes homosexuality.
They have a new tack in the civil-rights murders.
But hey, they got Martin Luther King.
From Thursday's USA Today:
"Clinton cornered Dole Wednesday in a stairwell with an offer
he figured Dole couldn't refuse. Clinton wanted to be sure
Dole understood that he (Clinton) was serious about getting
together to try to complete the balanced-budget agreement."
What was Dole's answer?
What was Senator Straddle's reply to the President?
"I need to talk to congressional Republicans first!"
I hereby make this offer:
If Senator Straddle EVER takes a position on ANYTHING,
I will buy Cadillac's for every subscriber to RL-LNW.
Back to USA Today:
"For the moment, Dole seems annoyed and even flummoxed
by the box Clinton has him in. If the Republicans don't
come to the table, they look bad. But if they do come
to the table, and cut a deal, Clinton wins, too."
That's my man.
I'd like to say one thing about loyalty and courage.
Where the fuck were the Democrats in 1994?
They ALL abandoned their president.
They told the White House they didn't want Clinton to
campaign for/with them. And what happened?
If they had stayed with him, and insisted he was right,
more of them would have jobs today.
Paging Dave McCurdy.
Besides Elenore Cliff, White House employees and myself,
I can't name ANYONE who stuck with their president in 1994.
Even Mike Kinsley disowned him.
Fuck Mike Kinsley.
Back when Clinton's approval rating was about 32%,
I was his biggest backer. Old friends and adversaries
on Prodigy will attest to my unwavering support.
But the democrats shunned their president that year.
I remember being jealous of the Republicans.
When Nixon rewrote the constitution,
when Reagan sold weapons to the Ayatollah,
when Bush gave Saddam permission to take Kuwait,
the GOP stayed loyal. For that, I respect them.
But the democrats?
They ran like cockroaches for no goddam reason.
They should be ashamed of themselves.
When they ran, they ran away from home.
Republicans may be neo-facist, minority-hating, selfish
ugly throwbacks, but they back their president.
This year, I'm sure Clinton will take the high road
and welcome them back with a smile,
now that he's back on top.
I would have said "Eat me and die."
But, hey. He's The President.
He's a better man than me.
Woman Kicks Dole's Ass
Nancy Kassebaum, Republican Senator from Kansas,
orchestrated a stinging defeat for Bob Dole this week
when she pushed through a landmark health insurance
bill with the anti-christ, Senator Ted Kennedy.
Republican Senator Kassebaum said about Dole's anger:
"I understand why he's upset. He wanted to win."
Medical sources called it the most significant health
reform legislation in 30 years. "The Kassebaum-Kennedy
bill, (the always-chivalrous Ted gave her top-billing)
represents a feat neither Democrats or Republicans
have been able to accomplish."
See what happens when you get a moderate Republican
and a Democrat working together?
El Grande Puerca says "compromise is cowardice."
No, Rush.
Compromise is health care for millions.
GAZA CITY - The Palestinians Wednesday removed wording
in their constitution that calls for the destruction
of Israel. Prime Minister Shomin Perez called it
"the most important change in the last 100 years."
That Clinton.
Best President we've ever had.
A man on the street was asked about the recent
Jackie-O auction and he said:
"She's one of the finest first ladies will probably
will ever have. I think the American people had great
respect for her, even those who had problems with the
Kennedy's politics."
Apparently, this man has never heard of our hero, Rush.
This from subscriber W. Bush, quotes from Rush about
Jackie AS SHE WAS BEING LOWERED INTO THE GROUND!
-- Rush on Jackie Onasis, the day of her funeral:
"She really never did anything for The United States."
"Her ideals and her vision of AMERICA are long gone."
"Her uptown attitudes of her superiority are very unlike
what the American public needed in a First LADY."
"She was only in Washington for 1000 days and what
did she do? She did nothing, nothing at all to be
laid to rest in Arlington Cememtery."
Rush is SUCH a whore.
Rush said Liberia was his "favorite" war.
Let me guess: Because blacks are killing blacks?
From MY Representative, Tom Coburn of Oklahoma
"America needs to decide, once and for all-
Are we a Christian nation or not?"
That scares the shit out of me.
It probably makes the Jews a little nervous, too.
Oklahoma always elects the most ignorant bastards.
Best joke so far of 1996....
"We only promised a vote on term limits.
We never promised to vote yes.
- The 73 GOP Freshman
Why was Mary Matalin bidding on JFK's putter?
The US Forest service has 20% fewer fire fighters
this year, causing concern in Arizona and New Mexico.
Just like the GOP to consider hiring fireman "pork."
Alabama now has women on the prison chain gangs.
You know the knuckle-draggers at the GOP get wood
seeing a woman shackled in chains...
And ANOTHER thing....
Those traitors that defected to the GOP?
We do NOT want you back.
Now that Big Mo has switched back to the good guys,
we don't want any Republicans switching, either.
The conservatives and the traitors should stick together.
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Email the Author: Bartcop He's laughing at you!
