Flaming, Nazi Gasbag

Issue #14

Rush Limba - Lying Nazi Whore


What's the difference between Rush Limba and the Hindenburg?

Give up?

Well, one is a flaming nazi gasbag,
the other is a dirigible.


"I am the epitome of morality and virtue" -- Rush Limba

The Seven Deadly Sins

1) PRIDE
-- "Rush Limbaugh with talent on loan from GOD!"

This started after Magic said he had AIDS. Magic,
trying to be humble, said those words. But our lying
nazi whore stole it just to mock a dying black man.

"You don't need to think; I'll TELL you what to think."

The sheep MANTRA! "When they ask you to defend your
beliefs, don't panic, listen to me for the answer."

2) AVARICE
-- $25,000,000 per year isn't enough.
If the poor miss a few meals, that's OK.
If the kids don't get their shots, that's OK.
Rush wants more. Rush wants a tax cut.

3) LUST
-- "We're in bad shape when you can't look at
a couple of big knockers and notice it."
(TV show 2/2/94)

Female Caller: "I do not mentally undress men."
Limbaugh: "Oh, come on! Everyone does."

4) ANGER
-- (10/8/90) To a black caller, Rush screams,
"Take that bone out of your nose and call me back!"

To a caller who says black people need to be heard,
"They are 12% of the population. Who the hell cares!"

To a caller who said that Rush was setting off fringe
people (like Ron Barbour, convicted of threatening to
kill the President), Rush screams:
"DON'T CALL ME UP MAKING WILD ASS CHARGES!

5) GLUTTONY
-- I don't think I have to elaborate on this one.

6) ENVY
-- Rush on Jackie Onasis, the day of her funeral:

"SHE REALLY NEVER DID ANYTHING FOR The United States."
"Her ideals and her vision of AMERICA are long gone."
"Her uptown attitudes of her superiority are very unlike what
the American public needed in a First LADY."

"She was only in Washington for 1000 days and what did
she really do? She did nothing at all to be laid to
rest in Arlington Cememtery"

7 SLOTH
-- "When I was on welfare, my wife nagged me all the time
to mow the damn lawn. I hated mowing the lawn."

The reason Rush never voted for Reagan?
"I would've had to go stand in line,
and I didn't want to do it."


This Just In....

Hillary's fingerprints were found on her files!!!!!!
If that's not proof of guilt, what is?


I'M RIGHT

Have you ever heard Rush claim he's been "documented"
correct 98.2% of the time?

Seriously, there are people that don't know he's kidding.

He claims he is monitored for accuracy by the
"Robertson Institute" or some such fictional group.
In truth, Robertson, or whatever his name is, is an old
friend of Rush's from his early days in Sacramento.
He's just kidding, it's just a gimmick.
It's a joke. And that's fair.

But the scary thing about Rush is the amount of people
who DON'T know he's kidding. I work with a person that
thinks Rush is God. That's OK, this is America.

But it's scary when people don't know a gimmick when
they see one. It's like believing that Howard Stern is
"King of All Media." The difference is, when Howard says
that, he's laughing. His crowd is hip enough to know
that he's goofing on them.

I'll bet it breaks down like this:
Out of 20 million listeners PER WEEK (Derange) maybe
5 million are liberals or middle-roaders that listen
for fun to see which Clinton Administration member
committed murder this week. I'll bet 10 million are
conservatives that understand Rush is an entertainer
with politics similar to their's, but he's a hoot.

But NOW we gotta talk about those other 5 million,
the "dangerous" ones that think Rush is real.

Remember the guy that shot up the White House?
He was in that 5 million. The guy that flew his plane
into the White House? He was one of the 5 million, too.
David Koresh? Big Rush fan.
The Freemen? DITTO!!!
The Aryan Resistance? His biggest fans.
The militia nuts, the Tim McVeighs, they ALL worship Rush.
The KKK? Endorsed every GOP candidate since Wallace in '68.

Rush needs to do a better job of clarifying things.
He's here for MONEY!
Remember when Andrew Dice Clay's star fell? He did the talk
shows to say his Rush-like schtick was just a CHARACTER!!!!

When America tires of the Lying, Nazi Whore, he'll do the
talk shows and say "Sure, I went too far. I was KIDDING!"
His excuse? "Christ, I was trying to make a buck."
And there'll be millions of sheep crushed when it happens.


I've been working so hard on the Rush Limba lies,
I deserve a break. Of all people, I'm going to let Tony Snow
write a few words. (Tony subs for Rush when Fatboy needs a break.)
This is word-for-word, no funny editing, this is EXACTLY
what Tony Snow said in USA Today 4/29/96.

"The bad news is that people hate the GOP leaders."
(I swear, this is true and accurate, every word.)

"Presidential candidate Bob Dole has morphed into Gap Man,
a fellow who can only peer across the chasm of popular
disdain to a happier land where Bill Clinton smiles and
practices his short-iron game. The Lou Harris poll has
Dole trailing every constituency this side of the Freemen.
(Now do you see why I let Tony do a column?)

"The research showed Dole losing to Clinton by double-digit
margins among men, women, whites, blacks, Hispanics,
Easterners, Westerners, Northerners, Southerners and
all folks in between."
(This guy subs for Rush when he's on vacation.)

"Newt Gingrich, meanwhile, hauls in approval ratings only
slightly better than Saddam Hussein's"
(This man can write.)

"Newt's recent "Dr. Dolittle tour - appearing everywhere
with furry, fuzzy animals backfired. He looked like a
widow who fights off loneliness by adopting 97 cats."
(Jesus, this guy is GOOD when he tells the truth.)

"What should've been the best of times for conservatives
looks grim, indeed. Clinton's approval ratings compare
well with Reagan's fourth year. So what's the problem?
Simple: The GOP got muddleheaded. Conservatives scared
many Americans with their "revolution" talk. These days,
when you think about revolutions, you're more likely to
think about Che Guevara and Lenin than the GOP freshmen."
(Good one, Tony)

"Dole didn't help when he said his "message" would have to
wait until until Congress completed it's dithering.
After all, ideology is supposed to come from the soul,
not from some legislative calendar."

"The confusion among right-wingers has incited a feud
withing the GOP tent. Bill Bennett has administered
last rites to the Dole candidacy and Bill Krystol
has penned the obituary.

Thanks for the kind words, Tony.


Reporter: "Hey, OJ. Any chance you'll get married again?"

OJ: "You never know. I might take a stab at it."


This is off the wall, but I just saw the band "Chicago"
on Jay Leno, and it pissed me off. This goes waaay back.
I'm old, so I remember. Does anyone else remember?
The first Chicago album came out around 1970, back when
America started to have a pulse. Chicago was the most
radical main-stream group in the country.
Their first few albums were dedicated "to the revolution."
Anyone ever hear "Liberation" from the first album?
It has audio from the Chicago '68 riots. Monster song!

Back in 1972, I and the lovely Mrs. RL-LNW saw the band
live in, of all places, Clinton's drug turf, Little Rock.
They were so liberal, they had voter registration.
Chicago campiagned heavily for the 18-year old to vote.

I remember the words Robert Lamm, Chicago's leader said
from the stage. "They made a big mistake, allowing
18 year-old's the vote. Young people have power now.
If an 18 year-old can die in Vietnam, he should
at least be able to vote in his country, right?"
Chicago was liberal when they were on the way up, sure.
They're all liberal before the Brink's truck pulls in.

A few albums later, they went "Saturday In The Park,"
and lost all their self-respect. It was BUCK City.
A few million dollars per member sure changed their politics.
FUCK the revolution, how much money do you have?
Chicago went Republican and sold out their souls.


TOP TEN DIFFERENCES BETWEEN RUSH AND G. GORDON LIDDY

10. Liddy speaks 5 languages.
Rush grunts when he sees food.

9. Liddy is a pilot, an attorney and White House lawyer.
Rush is a cock-sucker.

8. Liddy takes calls and faxes from democrats.
Rush has a "sheep only" policy.

7. Liddy never tried suicide-by-food.

6. Liddy hasn't had 2 wives reject him.

5. Liddy has a black belt in martial arts.
Rush slurs innocent people to death.

4. Liddy didn't have a giant cyst on his ass that kept
him from fighting in a war he felt was "very just."

3. Liddy regularly has a liberal on, Lanny Davis.
Rush is afraid to debate.

2. Liddy apologized for his "best & brightest"
screwup to Secretary Donna Shalala.
The Lying Whore said "That's her problem."

And the number one, biggest difference between the
Lying, Nazi Whore and Liddy is......

1. The Lyin' King would NEVER get in a fair fight.


Another OJ funny....

F. Lee Bailey said: How can they throw me in
jail when there are murderers running lose?


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