The 1996 GOP Credo
Issue #15

Rush Limba - Lying Nazi Whore

"When I brag on myself, it's not really bragging.
It's just an accurate self-assessment."

Did you hear Rush whining about his TV show being on
in the middle of the night? He's always bragging about
the power of the marketplace, so why can't he get his
hate show on at a decent hour? We all know if stations
could make ANY money by broadcasting idiotic, nazi rants,
they'd do that, right? But nooooooooooo. He's banned to
the wee hours, so the children won't be harmed.

Swear to Koresh....

Marion Hammer, President of the NRA, told JFK Jr.
that she has purchased a gun for her grandson.

Her grandson is 7 months old.

You want to see a Republican explode?
Just wait until Clinton proposes a middle-class
tax cut this summer, because, "due to the miracle
of Clintonomics," we can afford it now.

Ha ha ha

Pop goes the Limba.

Tuesday, Rush said Clinton's order to release 12 billion
barrels of oil from the National Reserves was nothing
but "meaningless, hollow symbolism."

Wall Street didn't see it that way.
The cost of a barrel of oil dropped a dollar.

This just in....
Rush is to honesty what iron filings are to banana bread.

Compared to whom?

This should be a regular feature in this newsletter.
Everytime Dole or Rush or Newt accuses Clinton of
something, we should ALL ask "compared to who?"

Monday, Dole attacked Clinton's "spectacular failures"
concerning trade policy towards Japan.
Compared to Reagan?

Reagan was so tough on the Japanese, they gave him a
$6,000,000 bribe to read a speech he didn't write.
THAT'S how tough Reagan was on Japan.
Compared to Bush?

Bush never pressed Japan to lower trade barriers.
Christ, Bush threw up on the Japanese Premier.
Bob Dull didn't think that was a disaster?

Then, Dull AGAIN attacked Clinton's "liberal judges."
Let me remind the easily-led: Dole voted to CONFIRM
283 out of 285 of those "awful" judges.

Is Bob Dull too old to remember?
It's only been a couple of years.

C'mon, Bob. Be fair.
If you want to get with 25 points of Clinton by
election day, you'd better come up with a credible
charge because America is laughing at you.

Bob "term limits" Dole, 73, has been a Washington
insider longer than Castro has been in power.

That terrible shooting in Australia...
I didn't even know the NRA had an office there.

According to Newsweek, focus groups in South Carolina
said they fear Strom "term limits" Thurmond, 93,
may die if he's not re-elected.

Polls show 60% of South Caolinians say Thurmond is
too old to run again. Do votes kill?

Liddy said he's tired of Republicans saying
"Dole can't complete a sentence, let alone a paragraph."

Anyone know which Republicans are saying it?

Can you hear it?
I can hear it...

The masses are DEMANDING Rush Limba, Lying, Nazi Whore
be allowed to speak at the Republican Convention.
Please God, make it so.
Please... Please?

If Rush speaks in San Diego, Clinton could win by 40 points.

You could hear the English version of Limba's speech,
or, I could get it for you in the original German.


I don't get it.
The Freemen haven't set fire to 80 people.
The Freemen didn't murder 168 people in a federal building.

Why do THEY deserve the GOP's loyalty?

This just in....

The offices of RL - LNW has obtained a rough draft of
the 1996 GOP plank. Here's what they have so far:

10. Travelgate caused the destruction of America.

9. We must relax controls on ammonium nitrate,
in accordance with the second amendment.

8. Burn-at-the-stake for anyone we think dissed the flag.

7. Let's fight Vietnam allllll over again.

6. Stricter federal control over school prayer.

5. Dismantle dangerous minority power bases.

4. Stop the horror of gay marriages.

3. More Guns!! More Guns!!

2. The Clinton's are guilty of "Whitewater."

1. You're forced to have your rapist's baby.

Dole told an Everett Dirkson joke Tuesday.
Dirkson has been dead 27 years.
Many listeners weren't BORN when Dirksen died.

Dole is sooo out of touch.
Poor Bob, he's so f-ing old......

Headline in my trusted Tulsa World:


Gore asks rhetorically,

"How can you lament murder and mayhem in movies you've
never seen, Senator Dole, and then turn around and
vigorously oppose the v-chip and do NOTHING to
improve the television our children watch?"

Dole WANTED to fight sex and violence in the media, but
his bi-partisan committee has yet to issue their report!!



I just printed up the latest two issues of RL - LNW.
All I can say is "WOW!" If you have ever had the misfortune
of reading the Limba Letter, you know that your newsletter
is packed with more info and humor.

I consider myself a conservative but I can laugh at myself
and also at others who can't take a joke. I was afraid you'd
run out of material, but in this election year, you probably
have more than you can handle.
Keep up the good work. Take care.



BartCop's newsletters are laugh-out-loud funny...
He should submit them to 'Spy' or some such...



Love ya!! Keep them coming!! For your newsletter,
you may mention the following.. "genius"
"political satire at its best"..."the truth - at last"
" refreshing new ideas" " hilarity!"
"I'd pay a good monthly fee to hear this wonderful
interpretation of what's wrong with conservatives."


This just in....

The FBI says Limba's fingerprints were found on
Clarence Thomas.

As Hank Kingsley would say... "Hey, now!"

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Email the Author: Bartcop He's laughing at you!


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