"I don't give a damn about the Freemen in Montana.
I'm for law enforcement trying to bring law and
order to that part of Montana. I don't care about
the mistakes made in Waco. The system corrected that.
What I care about is those cultists that held
those children in there in the first place.
George Bush
May 2, 1996
Flame Form!
When sending hate mail to RL-LNW, we'd like you to
use the following form, for better record keeping.
Dear:
[ ] Clueless Newbie [ ] Lamer [ ] AOLer
[ ] "Me too" er [ ] Pervert [ ] Ditt for Brains
[ ] Spunky Boy [ ] Asshole [ ] Pre-Teen
[ ] Democrap [ ] Freak [ ] Smart-ass Editor
[ ] Scammer [ ] Buttmunch [ ] Clarence
You Are Being Flamed Because:
[ ] You quoted an ENTIRE GOP press release in your reply
[ ] Your wool needs shearing
[ ] You didn't answer the goddamn question
[ ] You posted a "YOU SUCK" message
[ ] You posted a blatently obvious troll
[ ] Your post put me to sleep
[ ] YOU YELLED!!!
[ ] You quoted incorrectly
[ ] You posted in ElItE CaPiTaLs
[ ] You said "me too" to something
[ ] You blow donkey
[ ] I don't like your tone
[ ] You quoted Rush, instead of thinking.
To Repent, You Must:
[ ] Give up your AOL account
[ ] Eat your modem
[ ] Jump into a bathtub holding your monitor
[ ] Give me ditto-head
[ ] Be D'Amato's love slave for a week
[ ] Stop masturbating
[ ] Tell Mommy to up your medication
[ ] Be Rush's spittoon boy for a week
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In Closing, I'd Like to Say:
[ ] Blow me
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[ ] Sell your computer
[ ] Wait 2 years before you post again
[ ] Go straight to hell. Do not pass GO
[ ] Learn to post or get off of Usenet
[ ] All of the above
[ ] Insert personalized flame HERE
(Forty word maximum.)
Rush's bedtime prayer:
Oh God, please make the U.S. economy fail this year.
Let there be massive layoffs and bankruptcy.
Send a recession and we can elect old Bob Dole.
Kill some soldiers in Bosnia and allow more IRA bombs to
explode in London so Clinton won't win the Nobel Peace Prize.
Please, My Lord, make Russia fall.
Maybe an Ebola outbreak, say on the west coast?
And please let more homeless people die in dumpsters
so I can play the Frogman song on my show.
And a new strain of sickle-cell, please.
Your servant,
Rush.
PS. I need a tax cut, too
When he left Washington, Bob Dole was wearing a tie.
When he landed in Chicago, he was "The Man With No Tie."
Trust me, it gets worse.
Campaign manager Scott Reed also landed with no tie.
Dole spokesman Nelson Warfield lost his tie.
Even Gov. Merrill of New Hampshire lost his tie.
It gets worse, still.
Illinois Gov. Jim Edgar had a tie when he met the plane,
but it vanished before they got to their first stop.
What does Rush say about "symbolism over substance?"
Doesn't Rush say that's for losers?
Dole thinks losing his tie will turn things around?
Do clothes REALLY make a difference?
Maybe we should ask President Lamar.
The lumberjack shirt didn't do shit for him.
Dole, so "grounded," so "middle America" thinks voters
will accept him if he has an aide take off his tie?
I'll bet I know what happened.
Fatboy asked Dole to wear his dogs-playing-poker ties.
Dole immediately went to a "no tie" campaign.
This is the best old Bob Dole has?
His "vision thing" is taking off his tie?
Did you hear about the bar in Chicago whose patrons
"spontaneously" offered a toast to "Citizen Dole?"
Maybe I'm just the suspicious type, but how could forty
STRANGERS, without advance knowledge of Dole's arrival,
"spontaneously" offer a toast, using identical language?
Does this look a little like Clinton walking on
Normandy beach, "spontaneously" finding pebbles
that would make a nifty cross?
IT'S CALLED A PHOTO-OP!!!!!!!!!!
The Reagan White House INVENTED them.
Did Rush accuse Reagan of playing to the camera?
Will Rush accuse Dole of playing to the camera?
Fatboy implodes when Clinton uses a photo-op.
That's the trouble with lying, nazi whores.
>From Meet the Press
May 19, 1996
Tim Russert: Welcome to the show. Today we have Bob Dole,
presumed Republican nominee, Trent Lott, his successor
in the Senate, Don Nickles, Lott's Senate successor,
and Dan Quayle, our former Vice President.
I'd like to start with you, Senator Dole...
Dole: That's EX-Senator Dole, if you don't mind.
Russert: Well, technically Senator, you're still an
insider until you release the reigns of power.
Dole: The liberal press .....always lying about me.
Russert: Senator, has your resignation been a boost?
Dole: You bet it has. Clinton raised taxes. He vetoed
welfare reform, he vetoed the balanced budget amendment
and his foreign policy has been rudderless and left
America drifting in world opinion.
Russert: I understand your wanting to make that speech,
but I was asking if you got a boost from quitting.
Dole: Clinton raised taxes. He vetoed welfare reform,
he vetoed the balanced budget amendment and his
foreign policy has been rudderless and left America
drifting in world opinion.
Russert: ..(Sigh) ...Thank You, Senator.
Dole: That's EX-Senator ....goddamn lying liberal media...
Russert: Senator Lott ....Can I call you Senator?
Lott: Sure, I don't mind the stench.
Russert: Senator, how do you see the shift in power
as the big changes sweep over Washington this week?
Lott: Well, Tim, Clinton raised taxes. He vetoed welfare
reform, he vetoed the balanced budget amendment and his
foreign policy has been rudderless and left America
drifting in world opinion.
Russert: Yes, MISTER Dole just said that. But how do
you see the new power structure as it affects...
Lott: Maybe you didn't hear me. Are you listening?
Clinton raised taxes. He vetoed welfare reform,
he vetoed the balanced budget amendment and his
foreign policy has been rudderless and left America
drifting in world opinion.
Russert: Jesus Christ. What does it take to get
a straight answer from a Republican?
Quayle: I know! I know!
Dole: Shut up, twerp. I'm in enough trouble.
Russert: Ok, let's try Sena....
Nickles: Yes, it's OK to use the "S" word around me.
Russert: Senator Nickles, if you take the Senate Majority
Whip position, can you work with President Clinton
in the months before the election?
Nickles: Tim, as you know, Clinton raised taxes. He vetoed
welfare reform, he vetoed the balanced budget amendment
and his foreign policy has been rudderless and left
America drifting in world opinion.
Russert: I'm getting pretty fed up with these non-answers.
Isn't there ANY way to have a conversation with you that
doesn't get a pre-packaged answer? What'll it take?
Quayle: I know! I know!
Dole: Shut the hell up, Danny. You'll screw this up
like you screwed George Bush.
Quayle: Did Not! Did not!
Dole: Keep quiet boy, don't you screw me here...
Quayle: That's uncalled for, Senator.
Dole: Dammit, I'm NOT a Senator! And shut the hell UP!
Quayle: I wanna talk! I wanna talk!
Dole: Zip it, boy. I'm warning you right now!
Zip it or I'll strangle you with one hand.
Russert: Why can't he talk? He's my guest. He can talk.
Go ahead, Mr. Vice President. What's on your mind?
Quayle: Well, Clinton raised ....something, and then...
some bad stuff happened, ....and then.... then....
Hell, I don't know much about politics,
but it's pretty obvious that when Bob Dole speaks,
he uses his tongue prettier than a Muncie whore.
Lott: Oh, shit.
Dole: That does it. C'mere you little bastard.
Quayle: Don't hit me!! I'll tell my Daddy.
Dole: I'm gonna kick your sorry ass, boy.
Quayle: MARILYN! MARILYN!
Dole: Trent, grab the son of a bitch.
Lott: Bob, we're on live TV.
Nickles: I'd like to announce I'm switching parties...
Dole: Slippery little bastard, hold still!
Quayle: Ow! Not in the face! Not in the face!!
Dole: Don, grab him! Help me.
Nickles: You talking to me? I'm a democrat.
Dole: C'mon, boy. Fight Back! Where's your courage?
Quayle: OW! That hurt!
Russert: We'll be back next week,
because if it's Sunday,
it's Meet the Press.
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