G. Gordon Liddy said:
"Look at Clarence Thomas. This is a great example
of how far a black man can go in America.
He's is one of the country's most powerful men."
Sure, Gordon. His "power" came via appointment.
In the McVeigh-wing of the GOP, a black man can
go right up to just under the vice-president.
Being black in today's GOP is the fast track.
Just ask J.C. Watts.
Reporter: Why hasn't the GOP done anything for children?
Haley Barbour: Do kids vote?
SCIENCE FINDS GOP GENE
The discovery that being Republican is genetically
determined was announced by scientists in the current
issue of the "Lancet." Reports of the gene that codes
for political conservatism, discovered after a long
study of quintuplets in Orange County, Calif., sent
shock waves through the medical, political, and
Psychologists have long believed that Republicans'
unnatural and frequently unconstitutional tendencies
result from unhealthy family life -- a remarkably
high percentage of Republicans had authoritative,
domineering fathers and emotionally distant mothers
who didn't raise them properly.
But biologists suspected conservatism was inherited.
"After all," said one author of the Lancet article,
"It's quite common for a Republican to have a brother
or a sister who is Republican."
The finding has been greeted with relief by parents
and friends of Republicans.
One mother, a longtime Democrat, loved hearing the
findings. "I just knew it was genetic," she said,
seated beside her two sons, both avowed Republicans.
"I knew nobody would actually choose that lifestyle!"
When asked what the Republican life style was, she said,
"Well, you can just tell from watching TV, like at the
convention in Houston: the loud outfits, the flaming
homophobia, the flamboyant rhetoric -- you know."
The scientific study was dismissed by organized religion.
If the Republicans get their Balanced Budget Amendment,
and expenses go up, as they certainly will,
will the GOP raise our taxes and say
"We HAD to. It's the law?"
The Israeli election results are in.
Losers: Clinton, Peres, Arafat, Peace
Winners: Hamas, Limba, Syria, the Likud, Hezbollah
G. I. Bill
President Clinton expanded medical benefits to Vietnam
Veterans exposed to Agent Orange and promised to ask
Congress to cover the veteran's children suffering from
crippling birth defects.
He directed that prostate cancer and peripheral neuropathy,
a nerve disease linked to Agent Orange, be added to a list
of conditions covered by the Veterans Affairs Department.
A reporter for RL-LNW caught up with some veterans
and asked their opinion of the action Clinton took.
"Lying bastard. Clinton's just doing that to win votes.
I'd rather my kids die under a negligent Bob Dole
than let Clinton save them."
When was the last time you saw a Letter to the Editor
in a newspaper that wasn't taken verbatim from
Lardbutt's show the day before?
Can't ANY of them think for themselves?
Let's say the Clintons ARE guilty of Whitewater.
What crime should they be charged?
Intent to make a profit?
More from G. Gordon Liddy:
"Rush has gone mainstream. He doesn't do a lot of the
stuff he used to do. He's calmed down quite a bit."
This is true.
Rush has cut out much of his hate rhetoric.
He hasn't laughed at an AIDS victim in weeks.
The '96 election is turning out to be a real contest.
Whitewater vs. Dishwater.
I prefer my water white, thank you.
What will it take for Kathy Lee to shut up?
She got caught, now she can't stop whining.
On Larry King, she blamed Wal-Mart.
She blamed the Commerce Department, NAFTA
and anyone else she could think of.
Jesus, she must've mentioned Jacklyn Smith 6 or 8
times, trying to drag her and others into it.
Larry asked "Why not use American, unionized labor?"
Kathy Lee Einstein never thought of that.
So, let me get this straight:
Bill Clinton is supposed to know every detail of
ever loan his former-partner made at his S&L, but
Kathy Lee doesn't know who made Kathy Lee clothes?
"The buck never GOT here" is her defense?
If Rush was honest ....I know, ....I know, he'd remind
her why it's important to take personal responsibility,
but noooooo. Not Kathy Lee, conservative millionaire.
As whores go, Kathy Lee is right up there with Limba.
Great TRUE Quotes From the Past
Reporter: Senator, who wears the pants in your family?
Dole: "I make the decisions, my wife makes the bed."
(Bob Dole, 1982)
from Chris Rock:
Since Colin Powell would beat old Bob Dole in a
head-to-head contest, isn't it insulting for
Dole to offer Powell a spot on the ticket?
Powell is too smart to tangle with Clinton.
He doesn't need a public ass-kicking just now.
A federal judge has ruled our porko-nazi "obscene."
It's true. The judge ruled "It Takes a Reich" was
"not suitable" to be read by that 4th grader who
got caught reading it in Virginia.
As consolation, the gutteral buffoon sent the kid
subscriptions to Hustler and the Limba Letter.
This just in....
Sen Al D'Amato has offered to put the children of
the Whitewater jury through college.
"It's the least I can do," said Dole's chairman.
"These people gave the GOP new life."
This just in....
The Devil has just issued a press release thanking
Catholic Bishop Bruske of Lincoln, Nebraska for
the huge increase in young Catholic girls arriving
in his fiery Kingdom of Hell.
As you know, Bishop Bruske arbitrarily condemned thousands
of Heaven-bound Nebraskan Catholics to eternal flames for
such "crimes" as having a membership in Planned Parenthood,
Call to Action, Catholics for Choice, the Hemlock Society
and all Masonic organizations, including the dreaded
Rainbow Girls, a group of young teens that go to nursing
homes, perform community service and read scripture
to the terminally ill in hospitals.
May 24th, a bus carrying 36 ninth and tenth grade
Rainbow Girls drove off a cliff near Lincoln.
Sources say the Devil hasn't slept in a week.
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Email the Author: Bartcop He's laughing at you!