Rush Never Brags
Issue #33

Rush Limba - Lying Nazi Whore

The Center for Disease Control announced that AIDS is
much easier to contract orally than previously thought.
Rush Limba called Clarence Thomas to tell him then
was whisked away to a clinic for testing.

Bob Dornan went to a 30th floor window and jumped.

Clarence Thomas,

How sad is this?
You've heard of "Man without a country."
How sad is "Man without a race?"

Blacks hate Clarence more than OJ.
Clarence fed the blacks to the sharks.
He thinks whitey accepts him.
Whitey is just using him to steal money.
Nobody really likes Clarence Thomas.
Well, maybe his white wife....

Clarence Thomas, whining about the lack of black support is like
RL-LNW whining about the lack of support from organized religion.

It's really sad.

Due to ozone depletion, the EPA has asked Rush and Newt
to keep their mouths shut until late September.

You ever notice the more Clinton moves towards the center,  the more the GOP hates him?
It's like they want him to be Mondale and Dukakis, so they can beat him up all the time.

But when Clinton reflects middle-American ideas, they hate him twice as much as they did before.
How dare he take the center!!


If Bob Dole suddenly accepted blacks and gays, would the democrats hate him more?

If Bob Dole admitted cigarettes kill, would the democrats hate him more?

If Bob Dole agreed big government shouldn't be involved in decisions between
a woman and her doctor,  would the democrats hate him more?

If Bob Dole wanted fewer assault weapons on the street,
would the democrats hate him more?

We'd say "Welcome to the 20th Century, Bob."

This just in....
Buchanan ate breakfast at a pancake house.

He ordered the Luftwaffles.

Before they leave office in November, the 73 Republican freshman will introduce legislation
calling for new wording on the Statue of Liberty.
The freshman want the statue to read:

"Give us your white, your wealthy, your Aryan blondes."

Observers expect a vote along party lines, with a few
northeastern Republicans voting with the democrats.

Gag me.

I just saw the most-crooked-ever Oral Roberts on film from the 50's.
He had a mother-daughter duo onstage, for alllllllllllllllll the TV cameras to "witness."
The daughter was 20 years old, but she'd been deaf since she was 18 months.

Now, imagine what the vocabulary is of an 18-month old infant.
Near zip, right?

Well, all Oral had to do was WHAP her ears and she wouldn't shut up!
Nevermind that the last time she heard the English language she was only 18 goddamn months old!!
This is for a 50's audience!!
Of Christians!!!

They were even more easily fooled then.

Remember, I told you about Ernest Angley?
He "cured" a woman who broke her back, her legs, her arms, lost both eyes, her spleen,
her liver and her kidneys, but once Ernest Angley said "Out, Devil," she back-flipped
out of the arena and pitched a no-hitter for the Mets!!!

I have the tape!!!!

C'mon, you religiously insane.
You must admit that faith healing, at least the instant-TV kind, is totally bogus.
If you can't admit that, I see why you'll vote for Dole.
Well, now I have Oral Roberts on tape, too.

Please, you religio-wackos....
If you're determined to throw your money away, throw it at the Reagan deficits.

Your grandkids will appreciate it.

"Bill Clinton will say anything to get re-elected."
That's what they say in the Republican Party.

Hey, as always, RL-LNW says "Compared to who?"
Bob Dole is the alternative to "say-anything" Clinton?

1. Bob Dole says BIG tobacco is good for you.
    They give him money.

2. Bob Dole says guns don't kill,
    The NRA gives him money.

3. He says we can have a tax-cut and a balanced budget.
    Hey, Bob, does that chocolate-sundae-and-pizza diet really work?

I can't believe there's a RL-LNW subscriber that stupid.
Is there?
Is there anyone reading this that thinks Dole can cut taxes and balance the budget?

IS tobacco good for you?
Do we need more assault weapons?

I'll pay a reward, I really will.
I've been asking for a Rush-apologist to come forward.

..and I'll buy you a Cadillac if you can set me straight.

Today, June 12 is Internet Freedom Day.
Three federal judges in Pennsylvania stopped the Decency Act
from taking effect, winning round one for the free-speechers.

To celebrate, I'd like to say Rush Limba is a piece of shit.

I just watched Dole's last Senate speech.
It was very good.
He delivered it without the usual gaffs.
He took the high road.

It was such a contrast to our lying, nazi whore.
Did you notice how many nice things he said about Democrats?
Dole didn't say "Democrats want to destroy America."
Dole didn't say "All Democrats are evil," like Rush does.
That's crap and all sane people know it.

That's one reason Rush and Newt can't stand Dole.
He's too decent, too honest, too willing to compromise.
You saw Dole quote Reagan saying "Take the 90%."
He said "Take the 90% now, get the other 10% later."

Rush and Newt would never agree to that.
They'd call that a sellout.
Rush and the McVeigh Republicans are the opposite of everything Dole stands for.

Dole said a lot of nice things about Ted Kennedy,
Tom Dashle, George McGovern, ALL major Limba enemies.
(He didn't say anything nice about Newt.)

If Bob Dole can say nice things about democrats,
why does Rush insist we're all anti-Christs?
When will sheep learn that Rush gets paid by the slur?

Could it be the Fat Fuhrer is lying to make money?

Dole lies less than most politicians.
Hopefully, that won't change much in the next 5 months.
Dole's going to go out a loser, and we're all sorry.
I just hope he leaves with his credibility intact.

Nobody ever calls Dole a nazi.
As a whore, he's a reluctant one.

Ralph Reed and Newt and the LNW will try to make Dole what he's not.
Let's hope Dole resists them.

>From Limba, June 5, 1996

"...As I come down from the mountain of perfection..."
(Swear to God, word-for-word.)

Limba has delusions of godhood.
He's so far gone, he thinks he's fucking Moses.
Sheep call him EVERY day:

Caller: "Oh, Rush, I hope I don't faint from being in the presence of your greatness.
            Oh, Rush, I'm all a-flutter."

Rush: "There, there..."

Caller: "No, really Rush. You're the greatest American that ever lived.
           My kids want to be like you. I want my kids to grow up to be just like Rush Limba.
           We need your likeness on Mt. Rushmore to inspire the blacks and the poor."

Rush: "Mr Snerdly, don't let so many worshippers get thru at one time.
           My enemies will think I'm faking calls."

Caller:  "Oh, Rush, you turned my life around. I used to be a liberal."

Rush: "Really? What changed your mind?"

Caller: "Oh, Rush, your greatness and your honesty changed my mind."

Rush: "Really? What else do you like about my greatness?"

Caller:  "Oh, Rush, your accuracy..... your humility.."

Rush: "Documented right all the time..."

Caller:  "Oh, Rush, it's's sooooo true...every word...."

Rush: "What else is great about me?"

Caller:  "Oh, Rush, your tolerance for those that disagree."

Rush: "You really like me, then"

Caller: "Oh, Rush, please, please, please have children with Marta
            so your genius will be passed on to future generations..."

Rush: "I'm uncomfortable when people gush over me.
         What else about my greatness appeals to you?"

Caller:  "Oh, Rush...Our children can learn from your modesty."

Rush: "Well, it's true...I don't like to brag...what else?"

Caller:  "Oh, Rush, you're so thin...and so honest...and so fair..."

Rush: "Mr. Snerdly, try, TRY to stem the glory calls.
          You're only allowing the most critical calls?
          Am I that popular, Mr. Snerdly?"

Caller:  "Oh, Rush, you're TOO modest. You're not fair with yourself."

Rush: "Well, I never brag on myself, and when I do,
           it's because if I don't, nobody else will!!"

Caller:  "Oh, Rush, Clinton WISHES he had your greatness, your brains."

Rush: "Talent on loan from God..."

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