This just in....
The Washington Post says Hillary was not consulting
with Elenore Roosevelt and Mahatma Ghandi.
Actually, it says they were playing poker.
Hillary won $166,00.
Rush's show June 24
screaming at the top of his lungs..
"I'm the best thing you people have ever had
and none of you out there realize it."
The Republicans are tearing their hair out.
Witness these poll results:
Who's more honest, Dole or Clinton?
Who shares your values?
Who do you want your kids to emmulate?
Who has better character?
Who you going to vote for?
In a revolting developement, a female caller disclosed
this week on Rush's show that seven years ago, a female
couldn't get on Rush's show to speak unless Rush had a
picture of her on-file. Can you believe that?
If you were female, you weren't allowed on the air
unless Rush had your picture to stare at.
Call me a cynic, but you know he did it so he could
masturbate to the photo as he was talking to her.
There's no other reason.
Rush has always been unable to get or keep a woman.
Oh, sure, after he started making $25,000,000 a year
he's done a little better. But when he was just a loser,
his only chance for sex was a photo and his hand.
If we can't be trusted with a choice,
how can we be trusted with kids?
Aren't we all getting tired of Rush talking about those
It was rather lame the first few times he said it,
and it hasn't gotten any fresher the last 1500 times.
Old Bob Dole said this, word-for-word.
"These days, it's not all you gave at the White House
-- your blood. You have to give your file.
I keep wondering if mine's down there. Or my dog.
I got a dog named Leader.
I'm not certain they got a file on Leader.
He's a schnauzer. I think he's been cleaned.
We've had him checked by the vet but
not by the F.B.I. or the White House.
He may be suspect, but we'll get into that later.
Animal rights or something of that kind.
But this is a very serious election."
(NY Times 6/20/96)
The man can't string thoughts together.
He needs help.
God is deaf
Those nutty Christians are at it again.
What makes them do like they do?
The Southern Baptists wackos that are going after
Disney for being too generous with health care have
proclaimed "God doesn't hear the prayers of Jews."
While most faiths extend non-judgmental support for
gay and lesbian children of God, the hate-mongering
Southern Baptists are busy speaking FOR God.
Isn't that like a smug, wacko-Christian to decide
what prayers God is willing to listen to?
Can anyone name a Supreme Court case where Clarence
voted differently than Antonin Scalia?
You know why you can't?
Because because he never has, that's why.
Clarence looks over Scalia's shoulder, winks,
then votes the same way.
The Supreme Court is doing Wizard of Oz
as their annual play this Christmas.
Clarence has asked to be the Scarecrow.
The Republicans are shocked!
Did you see the parade of people screaming about the
possibility someone has read their file?
One lady said she felt raped, outraged etc. and was
now "haunted" knowing someone has seen her file.
Jesus, lady. What the hell's IN your file?
Does she think those files aren't for reading?
One other thing to watch for:
Clinton seems to want this investigation very much.
He doesn't want D'Amato-the-clueless to look into it.
He didn't ask that idiot Jim Leech to look into it.
He wants Starr, the least-bungling of them all.
It's a diversion!
Clinton's up to something...
Have you heard about the new, $24,000,000 Jurrasic Park
ride at Universal Studios? They said it was really cool!
They have 16 moving dinosaurs, and a life-size T-Rex
that grabs for the passengers and a Bob Dole.
The new Time Magazine compares Hillary with Mrs. Dole.
They said one difference is nobody ever called Hillary
"Sweet Lips" and lived to tell the tale.
Time says Reagan's Cabinet called Liddy "Sweet Lips."
I think we need a special prosecutor.
Both candidates were in New York yesterday.
President Clinton had Al Franken MC a big show with
Wynton Marsalis, Michael Bolton and Tony Bennett.
Bob "Weepy" Dole had the Alex Donner Orchestra.
Then, Dole was delayed checking out of his hotel
because they wouldn't honor his credit card.
It seems they don't except "Pony Express."
By the way...
Bob Dole can't get an endorsement from New York's
REPUBLICAN Mayor, Rudolph Giuliani.
I wonder why.
Al D'Amato has admitted talking to the dead.
He's been asking Bugsy Siegel for advice.
Paula Jones is furious that the Supreme Court won't let
her sue Clinton during this term. Any decision will come
after the election.
"It's not fair," fumed Paula, dressed in a mini-dress
with a push-up wonder bra and fanny pads and spike heels.
"Suing a former president isn't any better than suing
a governor. Besides, my funding will dry up if I can't
drag Clinton into court before this election.
It's just not fair."
In a strange developement, Jones is also suing her
only witness to the alleged encounter, Danny Ferguson.
Legal experts assume she's doing that to lay a foundation
for an insanity defense should the President counter-sue.
"Clinton is a coward for not wanting to go into court
with a world-wide live TV hook-up and deny that he never
dropped his pants and asked me to kiss it.
Well, he DID do it. You go ask Trooper Ferguson,
the man I call a 'damned liar' in my deposition."
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