Hillary's Guru
Issue #38

Rush Limba - Lying Nazi Whore

Well, it was a good week for me.

I wasn't shot at.

I wasn't caught with 2 hookers in a Dallas motel.

I wasn't busted for coke and pot.

I wasn't caught with black tar heroin, coke and crack.

My church didn't burn. :)

I didn't make a complete ass of myself by insisting milk was as harmful as nicotine.

I didn't have to plead the fifth to anything.

I'm not 20 points behind in any polls.

I didn't get caught talking to the dead.

I'm not a lying, nazi whore.

Yes, ...it was a good week.

Hillary Channels

So, Hillary is crazy.
She talks to the dead.

A couple of weeks ago, Micheal Jordan said his father was "happy" that they won.
Excuse me?

His father was murdered in 1994.
He's happy about nothing.

Is Micheal Jordan insane?
He talks to the dead.

George Burns talked to Gracie 40 years after her death.
Was George Burns "channeling?"
Was George Burns insane?

Rod Carew talks to his recently-deceased daughter.
Is Rod Carew insane?

What about the people that pray to God?
Are they insane?

I tricked myself.

I got mixed up, sorry.

Limba the Hutt said he talked to his dead father now and then, but he said "that's different."
Yeah, it's always different for The Giver of Shade.

The word from the campaign trail is that Bob Dole is trying to dispel the unfair perception
that he's stiff, grumpy and mean.

Dole says he plans on changing the perception by being less stiff, grumpy and mean.

From RL-LNW Volume 4

Will guns be allowed at the GOP Convention in San Diego?

I called the less-than-honorable Sen. Jim Inhofe's (R-Bonehead)
office to ask that question, and the very nice lady said,

"I don't see why not..."

Trust me, they will NOT allow guns at the GOP Convention, but why?

Is it because guns are dangerous?

Is it because the possession of guns leads to violence?

Is it because the people can't be trusted with guns?

Is it because having guns would endanger lives?

Trust me, they will NOT allow guns at the GOP Convention,

...but why?

Rush, June 28, 1996

Caller: Rush, I can't vote for Clinton, but how can I vote for Dole
            when he says nicotine isn't bad for you?
            Any idiot knows cigarettes kill, what's wrong with Dole?

            Has he sold his soul for cancer money?
            Cigarettes contain POISON that's killing our kids.

Rush, the KING of the clever comeback said:
"Well.......liberalism poisons young minds, too so it's a wash."

RL-LNW: A wash?

A fucking WASH?????????

Cigarettes kill 400,000 people every year and Limba thinks that's OK,
"because liberalism kills?"

Jesus, he's one stupid fat man.

Quayle told USA Today when he was first interviewed for the VP job,
the Secret Cervix knew he'd once been busted for being a drunk-ass minor.

Quayle tried to explain that he's just incredibly stupid, NOT drunk when he was arrested,
but his family convinced him to take the alcohol rap to "preserve his political viability."

Love that Danny Quayle.

From RL-LNW Volume 12

There he goes again:

Bob Woodward wrote "All the President's Men."
Rush said it was "full of lies and distortions."

Later, Woodward wrote a book on Reagan's crimes.
Rush said it was "full of lies and distortions."

Later still, Woodward wrote a book on Clinton.
Rush said "It's the most goddamn accurate book EVER!"

June 29, 1996

Woodward has written another "accurate" book.

More on "Guru-gate"

First of all, doesn't everyone realize the press are just a bunch of whores?
They didn't protect Hillary on this.
Rush claims every 15 minutes on his show that "the media"
is Clinton's willing accomplice, which is absurd.

The media will sell nude pictures of their mother if they think it'll get them noticed.
The media are simply a bunch of stupid whores.

Do you think when they shove a mic in front of a grieving mother and ask if she's upset
about her son dying in Saudi Arabia, that somehow they're working for Bill Clinton?

Anyway, have you heard that President Butch paid that Houston guru-lady $3,000
of YOUR tax money to do some seminars on motivation?


She's also guru'd for Xerox, General Motors and Hewlett-Packard.
So when the media turns this into a "seance" so Hillary can speak with the dead,
remember the media will turn whore and sell their dignity, cheap.

Ever notice how smart Rush is when he comes back from a commercial?

Somebody will ask Rush to explain an issue and Rush says "I'll explain that after a break."
Then his staff has 4 minutes or so to assemble some facts so he can appear to be intelligent.

Another thing he does is take calls from liberals at 2 minutes before the hour.

Then, after the liberal blasts him, Rush the KING of the clever comeback will usually utter a slur
and say "Gee, I wish we had more time, cause I'd really straighten THAT guy out."

Have you noticed since Dole said milk and cancer are equally dangerous,
his handlers won't let him near a microphone?

If Dole had Powell on the ticket, a black man might
shoot Dole just so we could have a black President.

Don't do it, Bob.

Someone did a poll, asking who was the very last person
in the world you'd want in the back seat for a long trip.

Newt "won," with a whopping 34% saying he'd be the worst traveling companion.
The Choco-nazi didn't make the list.

Personally, I'd LOVE to have Limba stuck next to me on a 5 hour flight.
That son of a bitch would get an education he'd never forget.

You know, I'm not a violent man, but if I ever met Rush, I'd like to give him a left hook
to that fat gut of his for Vince Foster's widow. Then, while he was doubled over,
I'd use my knee to break his nose for all the AIDS victims he's laughed at over the years.

Then, while he was staggering around bleeding, I'd give him a flying drop-kick for the sick and
the elderly he makes fun of because they can't make it without an assist from government.

And when his nazi-ass got up, I'd grab him by his ugly tie and bitch-slap him for 10 minutes
for the Kennedy family. He's got to pay for the dirty slurs he hurled at Jackie during her funeral.

Hopefully, he'd be conscious enough to feel my big foot in his ass for the ridicule he's heaped on
the homeless Vietnam Vets, the bastard. Then, for his condemnation of blacks and gays,
I'd enjoy kicking his fascist butt down a flight of steps.

You see, I'm not a cruel man.

If I was, I'd write about the hours of fun I could have with Dr. Frankenslur in a
steel-reinforced chair, some duct tape, a pair of needle-nose pliers and a bic torch.

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