RL-LNW is now listed on Yahoo.
In a few days, we will be everywhere.
Then Rush will be aware of us, if he's not already.
When you write "Rush Limbaugh" in Yahoo's search box,
RL-LNW is there, punishing his lying ass.
Look for "BartCop Looks at Limba."
You know Ego-boy checks the web constantly.
I'm sure he hires high-school boys at minimum wage
to search the web for any mention of His Baconess.
Hey, Rush, come GET me!
Sue me or something - Try to shut me down!
Try to get a court order. Do something!
I'm publically calling you a lying, nazi whore.
Can't you stop me?
Don't just let me repeatedly bitch-slap you this way!
Is there anyone in America who doesn't want lower taxes?
Contrast in Honesty.
Wednesday, William F. Buckley conceeded that Dole can't win
this election. He's pretty honest, for a Republican.
Meanwhile, Snootie continues to delude himself.
"Not only is Bob Dole going to beat Clinton,
but we'll gain 23 seats in the House as well."
(It's hard to type when your sides
are splitting with laughter!)
Hey, Snoot! Are you a gambling man?
Maybe your inability to tell the truth is
causing your 22% approval rating.
Is there anyone in America who is pro-abortion?
Poor Bob Dole.
In 30 days, he's outta here.
How will he react to nobody toadying to his whims?
For 46 years, he's been catered to by lackeys.
Will Elizabitch dump him for a man still in power?
Think about it: Is Elizabitch Dole ready to work long,
hard hours at the Red Cross while Bob Dole's home alone?
Poor Bob Dole, sitting quietly, by himself, staring blankly
at C-Span on his television, wondering what might have been
if not for Mr. Know-It-All Ralph Reed.
Jesus, that's depressing.
Should we start the "Save Bob Dole Fund?"
Liddy CLAIMS she'll continue at the Red Cross if,
(I know, I know) Bob Dole beats Clinton.
If Bob Dole somehow won, would it surprise you if she said
"The demands of being First Lady are bigger than I thought,"
and jumped right into Dole's cabinet?
That way, she could sit by Bob Dole at meetings,
and whenever he started spouting goofy shit like he did
on Larry King, she could signal him to knock it off!
As Bob Dole's career winds down, do you wonder how
history might've been changed if Dole had any balls?
I think Clinton would've beat him either way,
but when we saw him begging Ralph Reed for permission
to lick his boots, we were all sickened, right?
Think how different Dole's image might be today if he
would've grabbed Ralphie-the-Republican-killer and said:
"Listen here, you pious, piddly-ass son-of-a-bitch.
I'm the nominee of this party, NOT YOU!
Do you hear me, boy? NOT YOU!
You didn't get a single vote in this race.
Stop acting like you own me and shut the fuck up!
Stop telling me what to do and what to say!
I ought to kick your sorry, skinny ass with one hand
tied behind my back, Prettyboy, just like I did to
that mouthy Danny Quayle on Meet The Press!"
(You Republicans, seriously, don't you agree?
This election was over when Dole kissed Ralph Reed.
Isn't THAT why America says the GOP is "too extreme?")
But noooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
Bob Dole did NOT stand his ground.
It was the biggest political cave-in in decades.
Ralph Reed pulled him around by his choke collar and
America realized Bob "Gumby" Dole wasn't their man.
If Bob Dole became "Pessnit," he'd jump through
every goddamn hoop Ralph Reed pointed to,
and he'd sign anything Snoot ordered him to.
Funny, the German army didn't scare Dole,
but when Ralph Reed tells him to jump.....
Is anyone in America against a balanced budget?
The Dole Campaign announced plans for a major rally,
sponsored by "American Women for Dole."
It's going to be held Oct 9th in Monroe, Louisiana
at the Best Western Lynchin' off I-20, near the airport.
In the Conquistador Room.
Make 'em STOP!
CNN says a guy robbed a bank in Wheaton, Illinois
WEARING A BOB DOLE MASK!!!
He told the teller "Be sure to vote!"
If Perot sues his way into the debates,
will he say "I'm all ears" again?
Last Monday, ValuJet returned to the skies.
Valujet officials reported no problems with
the DC-9 on it's Atlanta-to-Washington flight.
Witnesses said upon landing, the passengers
burst into applause for the pilot and crew.
However, RL-LNW has learned the passengers were going
to boo if the pilot flew the plane into a murky swamp.
Since Bob Dole's from Kansas,
why was he on the Ski Team in WWII?
You know who's a nut? Mary Matalin.
I caught her radio show on the west coast.
She says President Clinton will pardon Hillary
"and all the White House criminals" election night.
First of all, Mary, thanks for the prediction.
Second, I HOPE HE DOES!!
No more Lawngate, no more Lampgate.
No more Cattlegate, no more Villagegate.
No more Mena-gate, no more any-gate.
I hope after he pardons her,
he and Hillary get on the White House lawn and do
the Superior Dance like the Church Lady did on SNL.
Nana, nana, nana left..
Nana, nana, nana right..
The only reason I say that is the Democrats
are soooooo far behind in the pardon game.
Is anyone in America anti-family?
You know how it's impossible to hear conservatives say
"Billy Dale" without hearing the phrase
"who was acquited by a jury in a matter of hours?"
Well, the Squeaker of the House got this letter:
"Dear Mr. Gingrich,
Congradulations on Billy Dale.
Thank you for endorsing my client's innocence.
You've reaffirmed for everyone that American Justice
always gets to the truth of the matter."
Sincerely,
Johnny Cochran
Great GOP Quotes
"I am not lying."
--Rush Limba 10/3/96
You know, there's NOTHING worse than a newsletter
that drones on and on and on with dry statistics.
(And ewe know who ewe are.)
But, here's just a few, from 9/30 USA Today:
Federal Budget Deficit:
REAGAN CLINTON
+151% -60%
(What would your taxes be without Reagan's debt?)
Slowing Federal Growth:
REAGAN CLINTON
+78% +38%
(Reagan promised LESS government.)
Misery Index:
REAGAN CLINTON
22% 8%
Unemployment:
REAGAN CLINTON
8% 5%
Yet, Dole supporters claim they're financially
worse off under Clinton, Reagan's economic superior.
Would a Republican tell a lie?
If you have a few beers,
and squint your eyes,
does Bob Dole look a little like Bogart?
The RNC released their updated GOP homepage list:
Dole/Kemp 96 Home page http://www.nochance.com
Republican Headquarters http://screwpoor.com
Rush Limba (office) http://www.bacon.slur
Rush Limba (home) http://www.shutupbitch.com
Rush Limba (secret apt) http://www.getthebutter.com.html
G. Gordon Liddy (home) http://www.limp.cantcom
G. Gordon Liddy (office) http://www.headshots4fbi.com
The NRA http://www.Rydertruck.org
Snoot Gingrich (office) http://www.orphanages.org
Snoot Gingrich (dungeon) http://www.darkatnoon.com
Clarence Thomas (home) http://www.iamwhite.com
Clarence Thomas (office) http://www.peekscalia.com
Clinton/Gore 96 http://www.landslide.gov
Hillary Clinton http://www.president.gov
Paul Harvey http://www.stallions.orgasm
Bob Dornan http://www.hivpos.com
OJ Simpson http://www.control////escape
Ralph Reed Can be reached at c:enter
Ollie North (office) http://www.hezbollah/workofart.com
Ollie North (home) http://www.lied2reagan.com
Fonz D'Amato http://www.mademan.com
Dick Armey http://www.cuteducation.com
J. C. Watts http://www.betterthanyou.com
If you have other addresses, please send them.
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