Issue #72

Rush Limba - Lying Nazi Whore

In 1992, Bill Clinton got 42% of the vote.
In 1996, Bill Clinton got 49% of the vote.

America loves a winner

Slurboy said the reason Dole lost was that the weather
was rainy and cold in the states he expected to carry.

I gotta tell you, election night was tough here at RL-LNW.
We went worldwide with some friends and subscribers
on live IRC chat to celebrate our big evening.

Early on, we at RL-LNW promised to do a shot of Mescal
each time Clinton carried a state.

It was brutal!

At 7:02, Central they started coming in:
New York Ohio Pennsylvania
Florida Illinios Massachusetts

At 7:06, another wave:
New Jersey Vermont Maine
Connecticut Rhode Island Louisiana

By 7:22, my typing started to suffer:
Wisconsum Iowe Michigoose
Kentucked Tennesse Misoary

By 7:40, I was turning into Craig Livingstone.
Arkanssss Minsota Westvirgin

By 7:55 Central, I was Dan Quayle.

By the time the Southwest and Northwest came in,
BartCop was making as much sense as Clarence Thomas!

..and I still had the worm to contend with!

Next time, we'll know better.

For Gore, we'll do a shot for every 50 electoral votes.

You gotta love him!

Friday, Rush brought up the possibility that TWA 800
was knocked out of the sky because two of Paula Jones's
witnesses were scheduled to be on that flight,
meaning Clinton gave the order to kill those people.

He was immediately arrested for assaulting the truth,
shooting it twice in the head, throwing it in the trunk of
his car and driving 40 miles outside New York and
burying it in a shallow, roadside grave.

The arraignment is Monday.

Fatal GOP Quotes

"I'm going to win this election whether you like it or not."

--Bob Dole, just a man

The morning after the election, Bob Dole told reporters
outside his Watergate Apartment he was going to his office
"to see what's on the calendar for me today."

Hey, Bob.

I can tell you what's NOT on your calendar today.

Fun Election Quotes:

"I don't mind buying this election,
but I'll be goddammned if I pay for a landslide."

--Joseph Kennedy, 1960

Jim Inhofe, the piss-quick Senator from Oklahoma,
the Senator least likely to vote "yes" on ANYTHING,
says he's changing his first name to "Jack."



Rush spent The Morning After saying
the election was "good news" for conservatives.

Hey, Rush, did you forget Clinton has the line-item veto?

I'll bet "Slick" uses it like a scalpel!

Oh, and he'll pick the next three Supreme Court Judges,

...and he'll pick all the federal judges,

...and he'll control American Foreign Policy,

...and he'll control America's military,

...and he'll be able to veto those dumbshit Snoot ideas.

Rush said "This election was part of America's massive shift
to the right of the political spectrum."

Really, Rush? Massive shift to the right?

Is that why the guy you call "the most liberal, socialist,
Stalinist in American History" won a second landslide?

Hey, Rush!

Quick! Here's an OJ knife.

I hear there's a massive tax-cut in your stomach!
Check it out, Buddy!

Rush has introduced his new set of neckties.
The "No Boundaries Selma Collection" is out.

Each tie is 12 feet long, suitable for lynching.
They come in the brightest colors!!!

Proposition 209 in California was interesting.
It was the Stop Affirmative Action Proposition.

Colin Powell was against stopping.
David Duke was for it and he won!

Maybe the GOP should run Duke/Buchanan against
Gore/Clinton in 2000.

There he goes again!

Rush keeps whining and whining about Candice Bergen and
Whoopie Goldberg and Rosie O'Donnell having "great" contract
endorsements for HUGE American companies, and all Fatboy can
get are nasal-strips and carbon monoxide detectors.

Rush, write it DOWN this time so I don't have to repeat:

They aren't AREN'T LYING, NAZI WHORES!!!!!!!

If you were a decent human being,
instead of a slab-o-caveman,
you might get a few contracts too,
but you're not.

So shut the fuck up and stop WHINING!!!!

Bob Dole on Letterman

Dole was very relaxed and easy to be with.
He was funny, he was clever.. all the things
we didn't see from him during the campaign.

He was being Bob Dole, they say.

Why didn't his campaign let him be Bob Dole?
Whoa! Ted Koppel came out and said the same thing!

Who's the genius that told Dole to act like a prick?
Ralph Reed?

The Clever Wit of Bob Dornan

"Trying to get the truth out of Slick Billy-boy is
like trying to shove a stick of butter up the ass
of a wildcat with a red-hot poker."

The entire campaign, Dole carried a copy of the 21rst Amendment.
Eventually, a reporter looked it up and found out the 21rst
Amendment repealed the 18th Amendment against alcohol.

When they asked Dole why that was inportant, Dole said
"I can't get through this campaign without my vodka!"

Rush is SO guilty of being a lying, nazi whore,

(Another Limba tactic used against him.)

Bob Dole was endorsed by 111 newspapers.
Bill Clinton was endorsed by 65.
(What happened to the liberal media?)

In Tulsa, where RL-LNW is published,
the Tulsa World endorsed Bob Dole.
Four years ago, they endorsed Butch.



Yet every single day, the Letters to the Editor page is
crammed with hate-rants against "your liberal Tulsa rag."
Every day, the Tulsa World is called "KKKLinton's accomplice,"
and other crap, even though they endorsed Butch and Dole.

It seems any person or entity to the left of Hermann Goerring
is considered in on "Clinton's liberal conspiracy?"

You know why?

Because the Slur Factory at the EIB building SAYS SO!
And if Rush says it, they alllll believe it.

You know why?

Because sheep believe whatever they're told!!

Love those Quotes

"That OJ Simpson is really getting fat!"

--Limba the Hutt


From: Tony

Subject: Faggots

You think that you are funny because
you are a cocksucking liberal faggot.

You will burn in hell with the other liberals.

Tony Williams

ED. Pretty good letter, eh?
I'll bet the kid that got the cc considers
himself the luckiest guy in America.

Bob Dole, man of his word:
"I want to run for Pessnit in the worst way."

...and he DID!

A twelve story apartment building collapsed last week
in Cairo, Egypt, killing dozens of people.

Police arrested the owner of the building.
Police also arrested the contractor and consultant,
charging them with weakening the building's structure by
removing walls during renovation.

Many Cairo structures are poorly built.
Owners often add more floors than allowed on their permits,
while contractors routinely cheat on materials and there is
little government enforcement of zoning codes.

Hey, I'll bet the families of the dead wished they had some
"big government bastards" holding a boot to their throats.

In Cairo, you get "less government."
In Cairo, you don't have the liberal safety and zoning codes
that hinder the rugged individualism of the entrepeneurs.
Gee, it's too bad we can't be more like Cairo in America.

Hey, Rush!

Is that what "less government" can do?

You've seen the endless spins on polling stats.
Did you know Bob Dole got 88% of the Angora/Alpaca vote?

You know, in a way, it's kind of sad.
We'll never know how good a campaigner Clinton was.
Beating Butch and Dole was like Mike Tyson beating
that Pizza Hut guy and ...say, some white dude.

Bill Clinton was never challenged.

The hardest he ever had to fight was the '92 Primaries.
We never got a chance to see him campaign at his best.
I think that's sad...

Where does Snoot keep the gavel
when he's not banging it?

Clarence "Slappy" Thomas Update:


Subject: Re: RL-LNW Volume 71

The Slappy candy dispensers must be in demand where YOU live.
I got mine the other day for 49 cents.

ED. In Oklahoma, the David Duke candy dispensers are $4.50.

DAN QUAYLE - Stand Up Comedian

On this plane was the pilot, Snoot Gingrich, Bob Dole,
a Boy Scout and Clarence "Slappy" Thomas.

The airplane's engines were beginning to sputter.
The pilot ran back to the passengers and said
"We're going to crash - we're a parachute short - I'm sorry."
He threw the shocked passengers 3 parachutes and jumped.

The passengers stared at each other in horror.
Then, Snoot eyed the parachutes and declared
"I'm the leader of the revolution. It's very important to
American civilization that I survive. I claim a parachute."

Snoot grabbed a chute, strapped it on and jumped.
"That cowardly bastard," Dole said.

That left Slappy, Bob Dole and the Boy Scout.

Slappy grabbed a chute and quickly strapped it on.
"I'm the smartest black man on the Supreme Court.
It's important for America that I survive," and he jumped.
"Another coward," Dole said.

Bob Dole, America's brave hero, looked at the Scout and said
"Go ahead, son. I want you to have the last parachute.
I've lived a long and wonderful life. I've made my peace
with God and thanked Him for these last 50 wonderful years.
You know, I should've died in Italy in 1945.
I've been living on borrowed time ever since.

So, I want you to take that last parachute.
Be careful, son, and may God bless you."

"But Sir," the Scout said, "there's still two chutes left."
"What?" said Dole.

"Yes, Sir," the scout said.

"Justice Thomas jumped out with my backpack!"

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