Will Slur For Food
Issue #83

Rush Limba - Lying Nazi Whore

Great Rush Quotes

This one's a winner.
This is classic Limba.
He was whining about why Snoot should be able
to break the law and NOT be held accountable.
Word for word:

"There's a BIG difference in defending someone against
an unclear, vague, unproven charge..."

(He suddenly realized that applies to Clinton, too.)

"There's a BIG difference between doing that.... and throwing
stones at someone we KNOW is pock-marked and, terribly so."


Didn't Rush once say "Words MEAN things?"

If ANYONE has any idea what the hell he just said,
please contact the offices of RL-LNW.

Congrats to RL-LNW!

On Yahoo, with Netscape, if you punch in "Limbaugh,"
we're the fourth choice on page 2.

We were number 44, on the fourth page.
Now we're on page 2.
This has generated a huge increase in viewer mail.

To: BartCop 

From: "Phillip H. Blanton" 

Subject: Your Rush web site


I'm going to pray for you.
Wait a couple of days and then write me back.
Don't write now. Give it a few days.
Wait for the Lord to prompt you before you write back.

And put me on your subscription list.


I had dinner at a restaurant on the moon.
The food was good, but there was no atmosphere.

Typical Rush Slur:

"On January 23, the NARAL people (abortion rights) and Demi Moore
are hosting a celebration of abortions. Tipper Gore has agreed
to be the keynote speaker at this abortion celebration."

If that were even HALF true - using Rush logic - wouldn't that make
Veterans Day a celebration of war, starvation and mass murder?

Rush, you might be a greedy, self-promoting slug-bastard,
but I recognize your talent of slurring the innocent.


From: August Giulianelli 

Subject: Hate Page

Although I am steadfastly against censorship on the net,
your page almost makes me want to change sides.

Yours truely,


The White House said Friday that since Jim Leach has turned on
Snoot, the President and Rush Limba have something in common.

Mike McCurry said Rush Limba and the President are scheduled
to have dinner next week. He says they're going to smoke a few
cigars and talk about what a lying bastard Jim Leach is.

More on this as it developes.

Dumbass Rush Quotes

"Since Snoot has admitted breaking the law,
  the President should also admit to some stuff."

--Jan 9, 1997

(Our new Feature, Slappy Teaches Ebonics,
will be in our Next Issue.)


To: BartCop 

From: Senator 

Subject: Re: RL-LNW Volume 82 Laugh a Little

Dear Friend:

Thank you for your recent e-mail message to my office.
I look forward to hearing from you again.

You might go easy on Clarence "Slappy" Thomas.
He's really trying his best.


Edward M. Kennedy
United States Senator

Watching Jerry Falwell and Larry Flynt debate on
Larry King Friday was a HOOT!

Check out these verbatim quotes:

FALWELL: This man is a sleazebag, with all due respect.

(Hey, Dumbass! How do you respect a sleazebag?)

FLYNT: Gloria Steinem is a crazed feminist who represents
nothing but a bunch of ugly, marching women.

(Flynt sounds kind of like our lying whore, doesn't he?

FALWELL: Attacking a public figure is one thing,
but going after the wife and kids is a low blow.

Hey, low-blow Jerry!
The wife and kids are out-of-bounds?
Aren't you the cock-sucker who sells videotapes for $69
that claim that Hillary murdered 42 people?
And we HATE it when Rush calls Chelsea the White House dog.
Why do you think you mean-spirited assholes lost the election?)


Watching the Larry Flynt/Jerry Falwell debate brought us
some perspective to the RL-LNW newsletter.
Let's compare four political forces.


Larry Flynt - Hustler Magazine

Publishes outrageous crap, labeled "parody."

Rush Limba - The Rush Limba Program

Publishes outrageous crap, -half labeled as "parody," half labeled as "truth"

Jerry Falwell - Wanna Buy a Tape?

Publishes outrageous crap, labeled "truth."

BartCop - Publisher RL-LNW

Publishes harmless fun, LABELED as harmless fun.


Falwell was polite to Larry Flint.
I thought he was a sport to even show up!
I got kind of a good vibe off Jerry Falwell this time.
He didn't seem as repulsive.

It was kinda strange...

Of course, as I watched, I was receiving
dittohead from a conservative crack whore...


From: porgygirl@fiber-net.com (Richard L. Alger)



(The GOP has targeted nine Republicans for defeat?
I think we can ditto that...
By the way, Richard. How'd you decide on "porgygirl?"

It's early January, but we already have
the True Rush Quote of the Year.

"If Snoot's unpopularity is a drag on Conservativism,
then maybe he should resign his Speakership!
And if Snoot's hurting the Republican Party, then maybe
Clarence Thomas is hurting the GOP. Maybe he should resign,
since he's considered a poor role model for young black men.
And if Clarence Thomas is hurting the Republican cause,
then maybe I'm hurting the Republican cause, and maybe
America would be better off if the three of us would
just slither away into the night. Back after this..."

--His Lardship, January 8, 1997

Great Republican Quotes

"Once you get rid of ethics,
the rest is a piece of cake."

--Snoot Gingrich


From: "Jeffery Firkell" 

Subject: Your Idiocy

Dear Idiot:

(Jeff, you make a really awful first impression.)

As an avid listener to the Rush Limbaugh Radio Program,
I must say that you are an incredible _wrong_ being.

(I'm a _wrong_ being? Did God screw up?)

From my brief readings of your crappy web page,

(I might not have super graphics and Java applets running
around, but it's funny and Limba looks really stoopid.

..it is quite apparent that a) you are stupid, and

(We covered that in your Greeting)

b) you have never listened to the Rush H. Limbaugh, III.

(What does the "H" stand for? Horseshit?
God, I LOVE e-mail with numbers or letters.

In proving my first point (labeled a, above),

(Why do you refer to it as "labeled a, above?"
Why bother to label it "a" if you have to refer to
the "thing labeled a" when referring to it?

I point to your insistance that Rush is a racist.

(Webster said it, not me.
And what the hell's the QED about?
Is that some secret code?

In proving my second point (labeled b, above),

(There you go again - referring to the "thing labeled b."
And why tell me that "b" is "above?
Would you write a reference LATER in the note?

I offer to your substandard intellijence,

(Isn't this guy the greatest?)

..that even liberals of the worst kind



(he means "who")

..listen to his show, wouldn't misrepresent Rush,
therefore, it is obvious that you do not listen to his show.

(OK, but if I admit I've never heard his show, you'll surely
admit that I'm the most accurate psychic in the world?)

More proof for my first point:

(More proof?
You've shown proof?)

Since you do not listen to Rush's show, you are an idiot.

(Can't fight logic like that.)

Thank you for your time,

Jeffery Firkell


(Jeff, don't be a stranger.)

Great Republican Quotes:

"It's the first time in 68 years that a Republican
has won re-election to the Speakership of the House."

--Snoot Gingrich

Hmmm, let's see.
Sixty-eight years ago was 1928... and America was in
it's greatest expansion period ever until...

Good God!
The Republicans crashed the Stock market!!!

Buy Gold!

Buy Gold!


From: rwjulian@netusa1.net

Subject: Publication of a private letter

(Ed. Note: See Volume 80 - MAILBAG)

It appears that you do not believe that
private communications should remain private.

Right off, I don't know how to take you.
You could be a normal Joe who MIGHT deserve an apology.
To be honest, the "ethics" of sharing mail hasn't come up.
But more likely, you're a Rush-sheep with ditt-for-brains.

I did NOT publicly attack you,

Duh! You had no forum from which to attack.
Plus, you called me a "fascist."
As my reply clearly stated, since I'm a liberal, how could I be a fascist?
Fascists SUPPRESS liberals.  Next year, ask Santa for a dictionary.

..although you clearly deserve it.

Ah... HERE we go!!
Giving me MORE reason to help your clumsy ass stay hidden,
saying I "clearly" deserve a PUBLIC attack.
Christ, boy!  Can you even SEE stupid from where you are?

One wonders what kind of person would publish a PRIVATE letter without permission,

No wonder you're upset.
Was your post written by Pee Wee Herman?
I own my mail. You own yours.
If you had some e-mail of ME saying something that stupid, I'd expect you to show your friends.
If you're that ashamed of what you wrote, maybe YOU should write an apology?

..without notification,

So, if I'd told you 24 hours in advance that I was going to kick your sorry ass,
you'd feel better about getting slapped in front of up to 46,000,000 witnesses?

..and without apology.

ha ha
An apology?
An APOLOGY???!!!???
What are the odds in Vegas of BartCop apologizing to some boneheaded sheep
for pointing out the holes in the lies on which his boneheaded sheepism is based?

You will please to make a public apology for this gross act of discourtesy.

"Please to make an apology?"
Are we from Japan?

My "gross act of discourtesy?"
Jeez, you're funnier than I wish I was.

I note that you published my EMail address,

yes, the address you sent

..which includes my real name,

I have no objection to that.

..without publishing your own.

Are you kidding? There's too many insane ax-killers on the Net.
I'd never want MY real name used!!

Do you publish your name and address on your publications?

Hell, no! Are you crazy?
Do you know what kind of wackos are on-line?
You gotta be a REAL idiot to use your real name here.

You have EVERY right to publish, but not private letters.

Thank you for giving me permission to publish.
When I took the vow to never betray you...(cough)
I never anticipated this set of circumstances.
You act like it's your first week on AOL.
If you can't stand the heat in the kitchen,
go play with the kids in the backyard.
Christ, you're setting a new record for sniveling.

At least my attack was private.

Who GIVES a fuck?
It just shows you're AFRAID.
You're confusing fear with discretion.

I made no attempt to threaten or belittle you in public.

I wish you would.

My letter was private. Many people get critical letters,
but do not publish them. Are you terrified of criticism?

Yeah, you scare me a lot.
I know you're a newbie and all, but if you read my work,
you'll see I publish ONLY letters from disgruntled sheep.
My "you're the greatest" mail outruns the hate mail 5-1.

Unlike your idol, I never publish the praise letters.
I only publish the funny stuff I get from ditto-sheep.
Then ewe accuse me of being "terrified of criticism?"

I could debate you, but that would be pointless.

You're right.
It would be.

Your published attacks, at least that I have seen, do not
contain any semblance of fair argument.

You're BIG gripe is that I printed your critical letter.
You're SECOND biggest gripe is that I'm not fair.

It also requires an individual with ethical standards;
I see none here.
And don't you EVER print my name and e-mail address again!!!
Scared as a bunny,

R.W. Julian

The newest beltway rumor is that if Clinton gets caught, he'll become a Republican
and use the "slap-on-the-wrist" penalty that Snoot has invented.


From: Senator@dpm.senate.gov

Subject: Re: RL-LNW Volume 82 Laugh a Little

Dear BartCop,

Thank you for contacting my office via the Internet.
I always look forward to hearing from you.
By the way, I LOVE the "Poker at Al's" bit.


Daniel Patrick Moynihan
United States Senator


Poker at Al's

(Senator Al D'Amato regularly hosts a poker game
with GOP fat-cats and ADM bribe-wranglers.)

Limba: OK, it's my deal, this next game is low Chicago.
Whoever has the little spade gets half the pot?

Quayle: Wow! Can you say "little spade?"

Limba: Why not? There's no reporters here. (Laughs)

Quayle: I don't get it.

Dornan: Can you believe those candy-ass Orange County voters?

D'Amato: Are you ever going to stop whining about that?

Buchanan: What do you call a Dallas Cowboy huddle?

A drug cartel.

What do you call a Dallas Cowboy in a suit?

The defendant.

Quayle: I don't get it.

Dornan: Hey, Limba, you gaining weight? You look fatter.

Limba: Yeah, I've been eating out a lot. I really need
to lose some weight. My body is very soft.

D'Amato: Hey, Dornan. Is that true?

Dornan: Fuck you, D'Amato.
I'll kick your Italian ass, mob connection or not.

Buchanan: Rush, what happened to the Chocolate Chip?

Limba: Renquist made him stay after court and write
"I will not cheat off Antonin" 1000 times.

Limba: Who's hogging the potato chips?

Quayle: P, O, T... T...

Limba: WRONG!!

Quayle: Why is everybody laughing?

D'Amato: I've got a joke. Did you hear Jesse Jackson and
Louis Farrakhan are opening a toy store in Oakland?

They're going to call it "We Be Toys."

Quayle: I don't get it.

Buchanan: I got a joke.

Knock Knock.

Quayle: Come in!

Limba: Danny, how can you be so stupid?

Let's just play cards, OK?

Quayle: No, wait. I want to hear the joke:

Buchanan: OK. Knock Knock!

Quayle: Come in!

All: (Laughs)

Did you see B-1 Bob Dornan on Politically Incorrect?
Paul Rodriquez took him on a non-stop 30-minute slapjob for his views on immigration.
Dornan, I thought, handled himself like a nice, young gentleman.
Whenever Dornan behaves himself, we should encourage him.

By the way, did you know B-1 Bob Dornan was an actor?
This is true.

Dornan played a pilot in "The Starfighters" circa 1960.
I didn't find it in a movie database, but I've seen it.
Nightline showed clips when they profiled him.

If anyone knows more about this, contact me.

BartCop vs. G. Gordon Liddy

In 1993, Clinton was trying to sell his health care plan.
He did several town hall shows where people asked questions.
In Kansas City, a black guy said he was president of Godfather
Pizza, and Clinton's HC proposal might bankrupt him.

Clinton got the guy to admit he could give HC to all of his part-time
and full-time employees if he raised the price of his pizza by 25 cents.

The Godfather CEO is black, hates Bill Clinton and thinks all this country
needs is a huge tax cut for the super-rich. So, he went to the top of the GOP
"one-of-the-good-ones" list and started the rounds on the wacko-talk show circuit.

When Liddy introduced him, I warmed up my fax machine.
You know, Liddy might be a right-wing, partisan nut, but he's
brave enough to let liberals have their say, so I had mine:

(From the tape)

Liddy: Here's a fellow who's upset with us both.

This is from BartCop in Tulsa.

>Mr. Liddy, what a Dog-and-Pony show you're giving us today!!
>The ONLY reason you're having this man on, is because of his grandstanding
>during Clinton's Kansas City town hall meeting in 1993. The ONLY reason he's
>being asked to testify before a Republican congress is because he's a black man
>willing to attack the president. The GOP wants to show there's at least one other
>Clarence Thomas in America.

I'd like to answer this one myself.
If I were being compared to Clarence Thomas, I would consider that...... to be wonderful.
I happen to think that Clarence Thomas is somebody who, in his area, did what you did,
which is come from the bottom and go all the way to the top, and for a lawyer, you can't
go any farther than the Supreme Court.

So, .....I think it's wonderful to be called "another Clarence Thomas."

Great Rush Quotes

"That lying newspaper in Cedar Ridge, Iowa needs to
  remember one thing: I'm bigger than they are."

No fair Rush.
You're bigger than the midwest.

They say the upcoming Supreme Court decision on the right-to-die
controversy will be the biggest issue for the baby boomers.
Some people say it'll make the fight over abortion look like a picnic.


The Supremes have weighed in with profound concerns:

Chief Justice Renquist:
The factions will fight it out in every legislature.

Justice Ginsburg:
Is this a proper question for the courts?

Justice O'Connor:
We're dealing with so many millions of lives.

Justice Souter:
Timing will be a big factor in our decision.

Justice Kennedy:
This is about how we allocate our resources.

Justice Breyer:
Currently, twenty five percent of Americans die in pain.

Justice Stevens:
Has a doctor ever been convicted of assisting a death?

Justice Scalia:
Why can't we simply determine, as a society, it's wrong?

Justice Thomas:

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