It's always fun to start off with a lying, nazi quote:
"NOW, my friends... NOW is the time to be a little smug
and walk around with a smile on your face."
-- the Prince of Proud, ten days ago on hate radio
(Hey, Der Fuhrer!
Where's that smile now?)
Poor Bob Dole
Eighteen months ago, he thought he was going to be
the most powerful man on the planet.
He was wrong.
You know what he's been doing lately?
His agent got him a killer deal with Dunkin Donuts.
He gets 3 dozen donuts and $160 in cash per day,
so he's been providing the press whores with donuts while
they were on stakeout at Monika's apartment at the Watergate.
(Remember Dole's Senate resignation?
"Give me the White House, or give me Watergate.")
Poor Bob Dole.
He said he'd remain "active in politics."
He kept his word.
Great GOFP Quotes
"Right now Americans are handing approval to the president,
but they're really are passing judgment on themselves."
-- Alan Keyes, Mr. Two Percent
(Mr. Keyes, are you saying all red-blooded American men would
like a BJ from Monica Lewinsky? I must admit, those first
photos were nothing to write home about, but she looks
pretty good on those videotapes. You might have a point.)
It's not my job to give advice to the Grand Old Fascist Party,
and I'm only going to say this once, so lissen up, you fascists:
Bill Clinton's approval rating was at 35 percent
when Paula Jones started her little extortion attempt.
...I'll let you figure the rest out.
Rush has been attacking Oprah all week.
You'd think a lying, nazi whore,
with 20,000,000 listeners
would be a champion of free speech,
Oprah is guilty.
Because she's black, stupid.
She's also a woman, so she's double-guilty.
"Oprah is hiding behind her staff, trying to blame her
producers for producing her show," he whined Wednesday.
...when Rush called Chelsea "The White House Dog,"
back before "Must Eat TV" fell to market forces, remember
what his excuse was for slurring an innocent 12 year-old?
"It's not my fault!
I was telling an innocent story about a "White House dog,"
when an unnamed staffer put Chelsea's picture on the screen,
AGAINST MY WILL!" he swore.
"You can't blame me for that.
BLAME MY STAFF!!"
...Rush, if you weren't in on the joke,
in you were innocent of this horrible personal slur,
why even bring up the subject of "the White House dog?"
It kills me that ditto-monkeys are soooo blind...
True Monkey Mail
Subject: do you think you are a bigsjot?
You must be some overaged wannabe somebody...
With soooo much disgruntledness... you must be a
former Nazi sympathysher, or the runt of the liter.
Its obvius that your have neverdone anything for you
country nor your family itis aperent that at sometime during
one of injestions of coke or acid or whatever your kind does
that you thought you were some intllect.
Don't let your Klan Past get in your way.
What is your background?...
Clinton is going down,
...good to hear from you.
Are you sure Clinton is going down?
The reports I read said it was Monika.
As far as my background, blame the Catholics.
You've pretty much nailed it, tho.
I'm a bigsjot, nazi sympathysher with some intllect.)
The Coathanger Coalition try to save that lady ax murderer
from the clutches of George Herbert Traitor Junior.
Did she have money?
Great GOFP Quotes
"Anybody who believes that Clinton's infidelities should
be excused has announced their total lack of character."
-- Jesse Helms, (of all people,) on "character"
(Jesse, you dork-o-caveman.
You support Big Cancer!
400,000 deaths each year times ...how many years?
You've helped over 12 MILLION people to an early grave,
and you want to whine about "character?"
Let me put it this way:
If Clinton gets an Oval Office BJ, nobody dies.)
[I'll bet Clinton wishes I'd stop "defending" him...]
GREAT GOFP Quotes
"Clinton likes to grab credit for the economy, but it was the
GOP (sic) that forced him to choke down REAL budget cuts."
-- Michael Reagan, hate radio, this week
(Hey Mikey. Rush said those were NOT cuts!
"Calling them cuts was the biggest lie in American history,"
according to America's fattest truth defector.
Rush repeated that crap until he became a smurf.
He said the Republican Congress INCREASED spending.
So, who's lying?
Mike Reagan or the Beacon of Truth?
YOU ARE A RACEST
(I can tell you're not a liberal.
Liberals can find the caps button.)
GREAT GOFP Quotes
"I DARE Hillary to bare her ass in any magazine."
--Gennifer Flowers, HUSTLER Magazine, 1995
Hats off to the Republicans for unearthing this winner.
We NEED slurs against America's First Lady.
Free speech is a sham without personal slurs at Hillary, right?
Is anyone more qualified than Gennifer for this hose job?
Gennifer Flowers and Paula Jones made money spreading
their stubby legs for Penthouse.
That tells me something.
It tells YOU something, too,
It proves they'll give it up for a twenty.
For forty, they'll say it was the President.
Twinkle, Twinkle, Kenny Starr
We all knew you went too far.
'cause you sucked up to the Right,
Your career is over - say Good Night
Great GOFP Quotes
"My dad is STILL waiting for the spending cuts
the Democrats promised."
-- Michael Reagan, who did not explain
Speaking of Reagan,
remember the old Burma Shave signs on the highway?
I saw this on my way home today:
to ship missiles
an appropriate place
the Reagan name,
considering the level
that was involved.
-- Burma Shave!
Great GOFP Quotes
"Clinton winked at his behavior, and invited us to wink back.
Many Americans have decided to follow him downhill."
-- Bill Bennett, Better-than you
(Better-than you, "...many Americans?"
Clinton is beloved by 73 percent of 280 million people.
That's more than "many" Americans.
That's a BIG majority, even with creation math.)
If you see the photo of Clarence Thomas in whiteface,
with a dunce cap on, holding the sign that says
"Don't be like me when you grow up,"
could you please forward me a copy?
I'll pay sixty dollars, maybe more.
Great GOFP Quotes
"This is not about politics."
--Judge Starr, with a straight face
Make him stop.)
From: email@example.com (jack somers)
Subject: Nancy Reagean is a top noch woman
You must be one of Clintens welfare bums with nothing
better .WHhy don`t you fid a park bench and sleep
your life away like the rest of his bum's do
Rush would beat that lying Clinton all hollow
Ditto-monkeys are so mad they can't complete sentences.)
Great Lying, Nazi Quotes
"The liberals have admitted that sexual abuse
is part of Clinton's daily routine."
Can you believe that motherfucker?
Swear to Koresh, I heard him say that myself.
Now, you and I know he's just whoring for more money,
but ditto-monkeys think Rush is telling the truth.
That explains why the right hates liberals so much.
Rush says allllllllllllllllllllllll liberals support
sexual abuse as part of our daily lives, so NO WONDER
they give money to Falwell and Robertson to stop "us."
If you're a trusting ditto-monkey,
it's a logical thing to do.
Gennifer Flowers will be doing her "cabaret show"
at the Days Inn in Malvern, Arkansas this weekend.
(30 miles southwest of Little Rock)
Be sure and catch her, if you can.
They say if more than ten people show up,
she'll get naked with a snake.
My ribs are sore from laughing.
Not from anything I've seen in RL-LNW,
but at those mindless dolts in the Republican Party.
Can't you schmucks get ANYTHING right?
Let me ask:
If Clinton whipped out his (penis) live, on Larry King,
do you think Judge Starr might be able to convict him?
Subject: Your "humor" newsletter
Cheif Redneck, Bill Clinton, is swallowed up in his hubris.
Certainly, *this* scandal is the last straw.
How do I know Clinton is guilty?
Notice her poofy hairdo -- it's Clinton's MO;
chicks with godawful mall hair-do's.
Monica is a dead-ringer for Marta Limbaugh.
Bill Clinton's getting oral sex from Marta Limba?
Does she swallow his hubris as well?
What does Rush say about that?
When Marta gets home from the White House,
does Rush kiss her on the lips?
Monkey Mail is coming in like crazy
Subject: i think you're...
i'm not even a rush fan at all, but i must say, your site sucks
it makes no sense you make no sense it's rambling
you have no skills at articulation.
you should face the facts that you are a dumb ass i'm starting
to wonder if you you might have problem arjiculating ideas but
now im wondering you have the ability to intellegantly reacon.
i've gone back and have reread some stuff you wrote before i
gone any further i have your retarded do have a learning
disability im apologize for being so hardon you
be cool if you're not i mean i'm till sorry for you in a way
i think im so ticked off because you wasted my time
sure i could have just left the site but it was garbled and i
hellbend on trying to figure out what you massage was so i kept
reading hoping at any second to make sense of the realization;
YOU HAVE NO CUE. it will NEVER make sense so i pissed myself
(Subscribers and www lurkers should know that I only print
letters from the best and the brightest of the ditto-monkeys.)
Great Indiana Spud Quotes
"Clearly, if it is documented that Clinton has been lying
to the American people ...then ...that's a very serious
matter and I would imagine that in that particular case-
-though it's hypothetical--that ....he would have to
decide whether to resign or not..."
-- Quayle on Good Morning America
(God, I miss Dan Quayle.
I miss him a bunche.)
See, I Told You So...
I think we should all take a minute and thank our deity or
our lucky stars that Bill Clinton won the election in 1996.
Just think how fortunate we were.
It's a good thing Bob Dole didn't win that election.
How would Bob Dole have handled this boiling Intern Crisis?
Did Bob Dole have the skill to handle a crisis like this?
Bob Dole is no Bill Clinton.
"Hell, are interns bad for you?"
"I'm not a doctor," he'd say.
"Some people say milk is bad for you, too."
When the subpeona really hit the fan,
would Bag-O-Hairspray be a wartime consigliere like Hillary?
I don't think so.
You want Hillary Rodham when you go to the mattresses.
"Oh....Bob....What should we do?" Liddy would wimper.
"I know just what to do," he'd say.
"I'll appoint a bi-partisan committee to study the problem."
"Yes, Bob. That sounds prudent," says Ms. Dirtyblood.
Would Bob Dole have the political skill to turn this around on
Judge Starr, making HIM the tar-baby in this ugly episode?
Suddenly, every conserva-nazi with a grudge looks guilty.
Watching Clinton is like watching Jimmy Page play guitar.
(Forget the young girls/whips reference there.)
I feel sorry for him.
Bob Dole is so stupid,
he couldn't outwit the Religious Right.
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Email the Author: Bartcop He's laughing at you!