Volume 121 - When the World Was Young

Whoa, ...so much has happened...

Sorry this issue is so late.
First, I was in the hospital with cracked ribs
because of that damn "Bill Bennett still smoking" joke.
Koresh, it hurts to laugh with broken ribs.

ha ha


People have been asking, "Where's BartCop?"

Well, ...I had a little bit of legal trouble...

As you may know, ol' BartCop often has a good time.
I try to have a good time every day.
Sometimes, a good time includes consuming adult beverages.
It has always been a strict rule with Mrs. BartCop and me
that neither of us would ever drive if we'd been drinking.


we got invited to this party at Democratic HQ in Tulsa.
I drove us there in the BartCop-mobile.
We'd both planned to drink, so we brought taxi money.

My motto: I don't drink and drive.

It was a party were looking forward to, but once we were there we,
...or perhaps should I say "I" ...had a GREAT time.
It seems some young ladies at the party had read some LNW,
and they were all giggly about it.

You know...

Young women don't like Rush Limba.
They hate his dirty, lying ass.
Hate him.

You single guys out there...
You want to get lucky with some young lovely?
Tell her you think Rush Limba is a Lying, Nazi Whore.

You're there, dude.
Trust me on this.
Chicks DIG it.

So, Mrs. BartCop and I are at this party,
and a couple of sweet, young things said they "enjoyed me."
I took that as a personal compliment.
I was having a great time.

Mrs. BartCop was not.

She wanted to leave.
I wanted to stay.

She kept nagging me to drive her home, but I knew I
shouldn't drive because I'd had a couple o' whiskeys.

She wanted to leave.
I wanted to stay.

Repeat: It's always been my intention to NOT drink and drive.

But, she kept pestering me to drive her home,
even though I was woozy, she kept pestering me.

You married men know what I'm talking about.
They act like we have a choice, but no.
We just follow the path of least resistance.


She wasn't going to take "no" for an answer.
She wanted to go home right now.
So, what happened wasn't really my fault.

She wanted to go home.
She kept demanding that I do something,

...so I shot her.


Mountaineer Militia leader Floyd "Ray" Looker, convicted in a plot to blow up an FBI building,
was sentenced to 18 years in prison.  Looker was convicted of conspiring to manufacture and
deal in explosives. He later admitted to another charge of supplying resources to a terrorist group.

Despite repeated attempts,
Oliver North's office did not return calls to RL-LNW.

Great GOFP Quotes

"People aren't stupid."

--Dr. Laura Mengele, of all people, Tom Snyder's show, May 6, 1998

Don't you hate it when some maddog whore like Limba
or Doc Meng goes on national TV and behaves themselves?

I mean, what's the point?

When Limba is on Meet the Whore or This Week with Cokie Jackskirt, he never mentions
any of that wild crap about the Mena Airport, or Hillary shooting Vince Foster.

Noooooooo, NONE of that.

Just vague generalities about "recent events" and such.
They always clean up their act for the "new" viewers, but why?
What's so repugnant about their REGULAR personalities?

Little Miss Opinion-for-rent did the same thing:

She was on Larry King a couple of weeks ago.
He asked her opinion of Clinton.

Doc Meng said "I don't HAVE an opinion about the president."


You sure as hell have a thousand bad things to say about Clinton when your
mentally-impaired ditto-veggies are the only ones listening, so why get manners for television?

Can you believe Doc Meng - without an opinion?
That's as likely as Limba without a donut in his hand.

Trust me, when I make the talk shows, I'm not going to turn mealy-mouthed and say
"I have no opinion" about something like what a lying bastard Limba is.

Even Tony the Snow whore, on Monday:

"I can't say the same things on my Fox show that I do on
  Rush's show because I'd be fired in a heartbeat."

Oh, really?

Rupert Murdoch would fire you for saying something
awful about the Squeaker's enemy, the president?

If talk radio was honest, they'd act wacko on TV, too.

We have a new reporter on the LNW staff.
He's a gay man living in Cape Gerardeau, Missouri.
Guess who was reared there.
Give up?

Rusty Limba III

Matt is a good writer.
Plus, he knows how to sniff out the facts.

Matt will get us the poop on Rusty.
Matt knows the gay scene in Cape Gerardeau - in and out.
The first reports we're getting from Matt are wild stuff.
Matt says Limba is well-known in the gay community there.
He used to "hang out" with female impersonators at the bars
on Hershey Street near the river back in the early 70's.

They remembered Rush as the fat rich kid who wore his blue jeans with the zipper in the back.
More on this as it develops.

RL-LNW's Roving, Gay Reporter,
Matt Fudge

What did I miss?

I haven't heard many Rush shows in the last few days.
What did I miss?
At whom did he hurl his personal slurs?

Did any wives of Democrats die?
Rush loves cadaver jokes.
More than food.

Did he call the mentally ill "retards" again?
Did he accuse the Clinton's of selling cocaine again?
Did "talent-on-loan-from-God" call Chelsea a dog again?

Rush sure is funny when he slurs black people.
You know who else is funny when he slurs black people?

Uncle OJ Watts, (R-Tom) that's who...

In April, taping Meet the Whore with Tim Russert, Uncle OJ Watts
was on a panel with black leaders talking about affirmative action.
(Why Uncle OJ was on a panel with blacks, I'll never know.)

Russert said black enrollment at California colleges was down 50 percent.
He asked Uncle OJ Watts if the anti-affirmative policies of the GOFP
(read "extermination of minority enrollment") was the cause of this and Uncle OJ said:

"If them white kids knows what two-plus-two is,
  and the black kids dunt knows, then the black kids cain't gets in."

Did Uncle OJ really say that?
Blacks are so stupid, they can't add two and two?
Is that right?

Koresh, I'm glad I didn't say that.

Abe Lincoln said "All men are created equal."
I guess Uncle OJ is a lot smarter than Abe Lincoln.
You can bet Watts is HUGE now with the GOFP.
By Vern, he has the COURAGE to tell the "truth," just like our lying, nazi whore.

We also had that gem from Dan Burton (R-Scumbag).

I can assure you,
in 10 years or 20 years when Burton dies, the word "scumbag" will be in his obituary.

It can't fail.

Just as "potatoe" will be in Quayle's first paragraph,
Burton will be buried with "a scumbag" - guaranteed.

Then, the Squeaker of the house swore he'd never again make a speech without closing
with a gaggle of personal slurs against the president who saved us from the Reagan Error.

On top of all that, Susan Carpenter McWhore stepped down
as mouthpiece for America's second biggest whore.

It's hard to write comedy when the real news is so funny.

Does anyone know when the last Seinfeld is?
You'd think NBC would promote this last show.

I haven't heard a thing, have you?

Feel their pain

Think what it must it be like
to be a McVeigh Republican
and know for a fact
in the depths of your sole
Clinton is guilty of everything



yet the ONLY people in your political party who are willing to attack him are
a bunch of arch-conservative, bumbling, imcompetent, women-hating, sex-starved,
homophobic, Archie Bunker-wannabee-caveman-throwbacks who are determined
to fuck up everything they touch in spades.

VERN, that must be frustrating.

I wonder what Rush's homo-cystine levels are?

What really happened in the last 6 weeks...

Back in October I wrote to the GOFP and told them I
had a "Bill Clinton - Lying, Nazi Whore" web-page.
The gang at ctyme.com put up a phony page with "Clinton"
inserted everywhere it should've said "Fatboy."

I told the GOFP I needed money and transportation to
St. Louis for the staff of BC-LNW to see the U2 concert.
(The concert was great.)

Anyway, they fell for it, and Archer-Daniels Midland sent
us a jet and a bag-o-cash so we'd have a good time.
We did.

I guess I got on the permanent ADM bribe list, somehow.
Every month since then, I've been getting bags of cash.
Different amounts, sporatic timing...

Then, in early April, I came home from work and found
another ADM money bag, this time with five grand and a note:
"Pepperdine - Saturday 2 PM."

So, Mrs. BartCop and I packed the Glock and hurried to the airport.
Let me say, I don't like a comedy airline.
We flew first class, of course, but after we boarded
I heard the stewardess call "for those in steerage."

We don't need any Titanic jokes on MY airplane.
Remember what happened last time I flew? (Vol 94)
Clarence "Slappy" Thomas tried to kill us.

So, we got to LA, and rented a nice Town Car.
As always, first order of business is loading the Glock.
You never know when you'll meet someone who needs dying.
After all, we were in Inglewood, and I saw Pulp Fiction, you know?

So I reach back for the Glock in my luggage, I can't reach it.
The new Town car has a too-high front seat. You can't reach into the back.
Those new Town cars are the worst.
If you buy American, buy Cadillac.
I had to pull over to assemble and load "the baby."

So, we drove north to Malibu and waited for something to happen.
After 15 minutes, nothing - so we did what anyone would do:
We said "Fuck it" and drove to Las Vegas.

We had almost $4000 in GOFP money and we went crazy.
How crazy were we?
I'm talking Bob Barr crazy.
I'm talking Dan Burton crazy.
We got a suite with a hottub at the Rio and partied
like Led Zeppelin after a gig in Hollywood.

That new Star Trek ride at the Hilton is pretty good.
It's my guess they have the original bridge from ST-TNG.
As you board the Enterprize, the Klingons attack and you go
for this wild ride while strapped in like a rollercoaster.
It was killer - the best simulator ride I've ever been on.

The low-point of the trip was Death Valley.
(That's a joke.)
Due to the El Nino downpours that Rush says never happened,
Death Valley was covered in red and yellow and purple flowers.
(Damn, I should've brought a camera!)

We even drove through 20-mule team borax country, which reminded me of Ronald Reagan.
Not because of his old "Death Valley Days" television show, ...no.
The barren wasteland reminded me of what that crazy, old fool almost did to our economy.

Anyway, the Las Vegas party was pretty much what you'd expect from ol' BartCop.
As we left, I could only mutter, "How weak the mortal frame."

So we headed back to Los Angeles.
We spent Thursday looking for movie stars.
We found Sasha Mitchell, JR's oldest son on Dallas,
and Huggy Bear, the pimp/stoolie from Starsky & Hutch

I can really find the big stars, eh?

We went to Wolfgang Puck's restaurant, saw no stars.
This restaurant has decent food, tho - I had a steak -
but I've had just as good from my backyard grill.
Mrs. BartCop had crabcakes - said they were great,
but she was into the "presentation," too.

Someone suggested we go to the Viper Room, the place where
River Phoenix OD'd on speedballs. It's owned by world-famous
multi-millionaire movie star Johnny Depp.

It's a fucking dump.

It's right on Sunset, but we drove past it a couple of times because we expected a
decent-looking building. It's nothing but about 20 feet of front space on Sunset with
a faded awning that reads "Viper Room" if you have the eyesight of a pigeon.

Swear to Koresh,
I, personally, have owned TWO nightclubs that were nicer than Depp's Viper Room.
There's at least a dozen subscribers that have seen those clubs and yes,
the Viper Room is a bigger dump than both of those.

The only way it could've been worse is if the floors were sticky from spilled beer.
It's smaller than either of my clubs, too.
Trust me,
a star wouldn't get out of his own puke to visit the Viper Room.

And the band was a joke.
They were called Booty Quake.
From the name, I was hoping for an all-girl band in hot pants.
What we got was a gag band.
They had on afro-wigs and played disco music.
They opened with "Burn, Baby, Burn."

Here we are, in the most famous nightclub in the world,
shelling out $15 each to get in, watching a joke band play disco.
It was packed, wall-to-wall, maybe 150 people, that's how small this dump was.
We had a drink and left.

The next day we went to the NBC studios in Burbank.
Back in 1983, we were in LA and saw Johnny Carson do the Tonight Show.
After the show, we went to the north side of the property and waited for Johnny to leave.
Sure enough, he drove out in his charcoal Mercedes and we chased him halfway home.

This time, we didn't go to the taping, but we saw Jay Leno
pull out of the NBC lot in a blue, late 40's Bugatti.
(I didn't know, either. It's an Italian car, $100K at least.)

So, we chased Jay a while, this time with a camcorder.
He was nice - he even waved to us and smiled for the camera.
All in all, a nice vacation.

Ladies and gentlemen, a word from our sponsor:

[ ADM - Supermarket to the World. ]

Then when we returned to BartCop Manor, there was another
ADM envelope with another big chunk of cash in it.
So, I bought a new computer and a bunch of toys.

Um,... by the way, does anyone know how I should handle
this money as far as the IRS is concerned?
Should I write "GOFP accidental bribe" on my 1040?

Maybe I could call Web Hubble for some advice.

The American jobless rate is at a 28-year low.
Thank you, Bill Clinton.


Who was president 28 years ago?
Nixon the dick.

ANOTHER eerie parallel, proving that Whitewater is exactly the same as Watergate.

We didn't create racism, we pour gas on it.
We didn't invent homophobia, we just fan the flames.
We don't lynch minorities, we make the rope stronger.
We don't bomb women's clinics, we make the bombs bigger.
We didn't invent hate, we echo it across the country.

We're the Vultures of hate radio.

We're the Grand Old Fascist Party.

BartCop Prediction

The stock market will hit 10,000 before
Kenneth Starr pulls his head out of his ass.

Let's bet, real money.

I'll go $5 per LNW subscriber,
which is a potential $4800 that says I'm right.
I'll donate my winnings to the American Lung Society,
since Limba says we have a RIGHT to lung cancer...

Let's bet.

I say the Dow hits 10,000 before Starr recommends a lynching.
C'mon, the worst that could happen is that the Lung people would get some cash,
and that would REALLY piss off the Republican, pro-cancer bribe-takers.

Any takers?

Great Dr. Laura Mengele Quotes

Larry King: What about people who have sex before they're married?

Doc Meng: I was one of them.

Doc Meng!!!
Doc Meng!!!
Say it isn't so!!!
Your skinny legs were wiggling in the air?

Doc Meng!!!
Say it isn't so!!!
You opened your legs for every man in California?

Shame on you!
Animals will screw anything that moves.
Aren't you different from the animals, Doc Meng?

Also, today, May 13, Doc Meng confessed she isn't married in the eyes of God.
She had a "secular" wedding years ago, and she's planning a Jewish wedding next month.
So in God's eyes, she has a twelve year old bastard?

Doc Meng!!!
Say it isn't so!!!

Poor Dareyke, or however you maimed his name.

You USED to be my idol, Doc Meng.
I'm sorry, but humping every bum in Los Angeles and having
kids that God can't even see is NOT my idea of a role model.

Once again, BartCop sets the standards of decency.
Once again, BartCop claims the higher moral ground
from some preachy, better-than-you ditto-monkey.

I have no out-of-wedlock kids,
and I haven't nailed ANYBODY from California.


Doc Meng, Ronald Reagan, Limba, Pat Robertson and Clarence
Thomas allllllll had trouble keeping their pants zipped...

...and Bill Clinton is a hypocrite because...

Fun Show Biz Quotes

From the April 19, 60 Minutes

Ed Bradley: Chris, how can you use the word "nigger" in your act?

Chris Rock: A white guy can't tell a black man how to speak.
                     You'd have to be black to understand.

ha ha

Ed, your soul called.
It's looking for you in Cleveland.

True Facts

Rush Limba and Captain Kangaroo were inducted into
the Broadcaster's Hall of Fame at the same time.

Holy Cow!

I looked down and noticed I was paying the mortgage on
BartCop Manor to Mellon Mortgage.

Isn't that the same Richard Mellon Scarfe who's trying
to overthrow America's elected leader?

Hey, Scarfe!
Eat me.
I'm refinancing BartCop Manor.

I believe in America.
Plus, I'm cutting three points off my interest rate,

...but you can eat me, anyway.

From RL-LNW Vol 112, "Swallow or Spit?" Feb 1, 1998

>Great "Here Piggy, Piggy" Quotes

>"I don't want to spend all day talking about Clinton's penis,
> but what choice do I have?"

    --Gerbilboy, on his lil' EIB Throne

What does Rush say now, after Paula's case has been thrown out?

"We hardly ever talked about Paula Jones on my program, hardly ever."

-- Lying Bastard

Finally, the mystery has been solved.

People at the Red Cross were wondering why Liddy Dole
has been walking bowlegged for the last year or so.

Well, the secret is out.

Bob Dole says he's been snorting Viagra since Christmas '96.
"It's my view that it works quite well," said the former
fence-straddler from the flat, square state of Kansas.

Doesn't that paint a pretty picture?

Bob Dole with a raging hardon chasing his Bag-o-Hairspray
around the Watergate with intent to distribute.

"C'mere, Honeybunny.
 Bob Dole's horn is honking!
 Bob Dole wants some action!"

I have a quiz for you liberals to ask your Rep friends:

Here's the setup:

Doc Meng told Larry King she had MORE listeners
than El Grande Chupacabra del Peurca Fascista.

Here's the question:

Did Doc Meng reach the top by caring about people?
Or does she mangle the inbreds who call, beating them into submission
by shouting insults at them in a very entertaining, Limba-ish way?

If they're honest,
they'll admit Doc Meng's in it for the money.
If she wanted to help people, she'd help people.

Make 'em say it again:

Is Doc Meng here to help people with problems?
Or to be number one in radio?


Ask 'em...

Is Rush here to shine the light of truth on the hypocrisy of the pointy-headed intellectuals
from Harvard who want to teach homosexuality to your children?


Is Rush Limba in this to milk millions out of the
Archie-Bunker-redneck-mensaboys who don't see the joke?

Rush used to have 20,000,000 listeners,
Rush used to be number one.

Matter of fact, Paul horse-molester Harvey took out a
full page in USA Today to say HE had 23,000,000 listeners.

Arbitron says Stern has more than Rush, but Rush says
"Arbitron always lies when it comes to me."

If Paul Harvey, biological sire to Real Quiet, has 23 million,
and Doc Meng has MORE than Limba, and Stern is second...
Doesn't that mean that Rush has fallen to fourth, at least?

Rush - the Fourth Rank.

Is racism dying?

 Great Demo Quotes

"If goofy ideas ever go to $40 a barrel,
 I want the drilling rights to Dick Armey's head."
-- Paul Begala

As long as we write this newsletter,
we'll never write a line that good.


Playboy Magazine has stolen two jokes from RL-LNW

In the May, 98 issue, with that ugly-as-hell Spice Girl on the cover,
(Koresh, this girl could play linebacker for the Rams)
go to page 106, "Playboy's Party Jokes."

First joke in column two:

The rabbi says "Oh, Lord, my son has turned Christian,"
and God says, "I know how you feel."

This is a direct steal from RL-LNW Vol 88 or so.
Check the back copies that you saved.


...two jokes later,

they rewrote my "Turkey/John Kasich" rant from Vol 93.
That's from Fall 97, and Playboy's stealing it from me in mid-98?

Memo to Playboy:
RL-LNW isn't good enough to steal from.

You can do better.

Reporter: Senator Inhofe, tell us about Oklahoma.

Inhofe: It's a lot like Texas, ...but whiter.

Reporter: Thank you, Senator.

>From that Salon.com site

"A year after publishing his paper on homemakers, Dick Armey married again.
This time, she was one of his students, Susan Byrd Oxendine, a divorcee with two kids of her own."

...and didn't Squeaker Gingrich marry HIS teacher?
Isn't that why he dumped his dying wife?

Is that why the GOFP hates education?
Because that's how Snoot and the Foul-Mouthed Dick met their wives?

Is that right?
They hate their wives that much?


Gag me with a swastika, then kiss my ass.

How many times have you heard Susan Carp McWhore or Rush say,
"Thanks to Clinton, all men now get one free grope, or they
  can drop their pants, FONDLE themselves and ask for oral sex."

They've said that over and over, at least 50 times each.
Hey, you two, have you ever had an unexpressed thought?

Let's look at that tactic with in reverse.


Let's say I claim I saw Ronald Reagan playing golf at
all-white Southern Hills Country Club in Tulsa back in 1985.

Let's say I claim I saw him beat-to-death a 13 year-old male
prostitute with a golf club on the 14th hole at Southern Hills.

Pretty incredible, eh?

But, the record shows Reagan WAS in Tulsa that day in 1995,
so the democrats claim that's "proof" of Reagan's guilt.

Unbelieveably, the goofy-ass press picks up this non-story,
even though there's not a shred of evidence of any kind,
other than a friend of mine who claims I told him about
the Reagan "murder" right after it happened.

Then, for no damn reason, the Democrats launch a big investigation.
After 4 years and a $40,000,000 witchhunt, they find nothing.

No body.
No bloody 9 iron.
No bloody clothes.
No PMRC evidence.
No fiber evidence.

A judge dismisses all charges against Reagan,
because there was no evidence of any guilt.


Does this mean that everyone gets one free murder?
Does this mean that everyone gets to beat a male hooker to death?
Does this mean Reagan is above the law?
Has America become an imperial oligarchy?


Of fucking course, ....it doesn't mean that.
Only an insane ditto-monkey would consider that argument.



yet that's what we hear from the McVeigh wing of the GOFP.

Koresh, the shit that passes as political commentary these days...

I'm getting tired of the standard, faxed-to-everyone line,
"More than 90 democrats have pleaded the fifth or fled the
country to avoid Kenneth Starr."

First of all, I can say "More than 90 Republicans have either
become president or were jailed for child molestation."

That's a true statement that can't be challenged.
It means nothing, just like their statement,
but to idiot sheep - it sounds like "more proof."

Secondly, if it was the Rose Law Firm that fled to China,
it might mean something. But noooooooooooooooooooooooo.
That's not what we have here.

What we have here are Americans of Chinese descent
 who went to visit relatives, then returned.

So, the next time you hear that bullshit about the 90
Democrats that either "fled or took the fifth,"
tell whoever said it that Ol' BartCop says "Eat me."

RL-LNW was reviewed on a Christian Web site


It's the Coral Ridge Ministries' Center for Reclaiming America

 Reclaiming America?
 Apparently, BartCop has stolen America from the Christians.
 They want it back.

>The review:

>The "Rush Limba - Lying, Lazi Whore" page.
>It has something for every liberal:

>-name calling, overflowing with hate

 Yes, that mirror makes your boy look pretty bad, I admit...

>-filthy language, even the "F" word! Yippee!!

 So, you enjoy the f-word?
 I speak the language Americans use.
 How bad can that be?

>-sexual innuendo, didn't put that dictionary away yet, did you?

 Did you use a big word?)

>-rudeness, and a total absense of logic,

  Shit, I thought I was using restraint.
  I'm sorry my logic is absense.

>and--in addition to the qualities made obvious by reading its title,
>it's even searchable! The site is so-o-o effective at making the case
>against liberalism (although that's apparently not the intent),
>you might think it's a conservative plot.

 Do you're self a favor and check this Christian web site.
 Christians aren't evil.
 They're just mistaken and overly prostletizic.

...didn't put that dictionary away, did you?)

Great GOFP Quotes

"Homosexuality is one of the biggest sins in the Bible."
    --Micheal Medved, part-time film critic, full-time whore

Hey, Mikey.
If it's "one of the biggest" sins,
why aren't there Eleven Commandments?

Did God make a mistake?
Or did ewe make a leap?

...and how much are you paid to make that shit up?

Why is it sooooo important for the GOFP to attack
decent, hard-working, honest Americans?

On a recent Meet the Whore program, they said Gingrich
is prepared to impeach Bill Clinton AND Al Gore.
He wants to impeach President Clinton "for all his crimes"
and impeach Gore "because he might pardon Clinton."

Can you impeach a president "for all his crimes?"
Can you impeach a VP for what he might do?

This just in...

According to Gerald Ford and George Herbert Traitor Butch,
pardons are prefectly legal, even the ones that prevent trials.


I wonder who's next in line to lead the world's only superpower
if the President and Vice-President are forced from office?

I'll give you a clue:

If you bite off his head, another one grows back,
just ask Suzie Creamcheese's husband-by-law.

As the ediotr of a political humor magazine,
I can only pray that Gingrich tries this.

True GOFP Quotes

"Your host, executing the host's duties, ...flawlessly,...without any mistakes.
 We'll be right break, after this back..."

-- You Know Who, from his little pink throne


Monkey Mail is really rare these days.
So many of them have learned their lesson.
Some haven't:

From: TDepalma@aol.com

Subject: Are Youp kiding

I just don't understand how anyone could attack Rush like
that he is the most Compassioate Loving man I've ever
known you attack sucess your a liberal and your wrong.
Conservatism is truth use your bain son.

Cussing is a cructh for conversational crippels people have
feedom its there duty to pursue it.
If you pray for Potatos you better get a hoe.

I don't pray for vegetables, Sir.
...and I've never used a hoe.

It's not a matter of you believe one thing and I the other is
only one truth. I love the way you think so many read your BS too.

I see from your tiny email list is very few.
Rush is Right,
Dr. Laura is to

Tony DePalma

Tony, you're right on all counts.
I use cussing as a cructh,
I don't use my bain,
and I'm down to four subscribers...

...by the way, I can tell you're a conservative.

You forgot the "e" in potatoes.

I'll be damned.

Recently, Mrs. BartCop sent money to the "Adopt a Wolf"
program and she was upset that her wolf hadn't written yet.

I told her not to expect a letter - she called me a cynic.

The wolf's letter arrived yesterday.

Generic Monkey Mail

Ditto-Monkey: "BartCop, how DARE you call Rush names!
                           Rush NEVER stoops that low, NEVER!"

BartCop: Oh, really?
                How about when he calls Al Franken, "the bucked-tooth moron?"

Ditto-Monkey: "Well, the reason he calls him THAT is..."

BartCop: ...as if the reason Rush engages in name-calling matters.

The Economy

Rush read another article from the Whore Street Journal.
(Considering what Clinton's done for the stock market,
why does the WSJ HATE him sooooooooooo much?)

The article compared the economy to a well-built house.
What if, the article said, a great architect started a home
that was a GREAT home, but let someone else finish building it.

The first architect built the foundation.
The first architect supervised the framing of the walls,

but then,

...then ANOTHER architect supervised the "finishing touches,"
and claimed the great building as his own creation.

The radical right is doing everything they can to deny that
Clintomics has been great for America, I understand that.

But this moronic parable is too stupid to ignore.
Let's look at the REAL truth about "the house."

The REAL truth is that the owners of the property FIRED
the first architects for fucking up the building.
The first architects kept saying if we just get out
of the building's way, "it would build itself."

The owners got real tired of this "Voodoo construction."
The owners also got tired of them claiming they were budget-cutters,
only to find out they owed trillions more than ever.

You and I know that's what happened to Reagan and Butch.

Matter of fact, they did such a goddamn horrible job, the owners decided to let the
skirt-chasing, dope-smoking, draft-dodging, Moscowboy have a go at fixing the house,
since ANYBODY would be better than those first architects.

But wait:

As always, it gets WORSE for the Republicans.

As the first idiot architects were getting their ass canned,
they warned the owners that the new architect was going to
screw up so badly, he'd completely destroy the house.

The first architects GUARANTEED disaster was coming.
The first architects GUARANTEED certain doom for the owners.

Matter of fact, a first architect even said
"My dog Millie knows more about architecture than these two Bozos,"  remember?

The truth is, everything the first architects CLAIMED would
happened turned out to be 100 percent bullshit.

The first architects said the house would build itself,
if we only sat back and watched it grow.

Fortunately, the new architect knew better.
He got in there and reversed the entire Voodoo architecture error and,
even though the first architects friends refused to give up a single vote
for the new architect's plans, he turned out to the best goddamn house ever built,
despite the trillion dollar cost overruns the previous idiot-archtects ran up.

The new architect saved the owners from the disaster that the
first architects caused, and brought the house in UNDER budget.
And we won't even mention the first architects selling
cocaine-financed Stinger missles to Islamic Jihad.

Rush, you and your little whore buddies have been caught.

Bill Clinton taught you supply-siders a lesson.

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