Wag The Tongue
Issue #126

Rush Limba - Lying Nazi Whore

I'm hearing a LOT of republicans, who shall remain nameless,
(Susan Carpenter McWhore) who say things like,

"Screw Chelsea's feelings. She's 18 or 19. She's an adult!
She can TAKE this," while at the same time claiming 21-Year-old
Little Ms. Kneepads is "merely a budding child,
seduced by that evil Bill Clinton."

The only thing nuttier than that is Bay Buchanan crying, "Poor Hillary."

Poor Hillary?
>From an anti-woman, right-wing, fascist-radical who was fingered
by her brother? What's the world coming to when Bay Buchanan
claims she feels sympathy for a left-of-center female?

Who knows...
Maybe it's another of Vern's "Seven Seals."

"Imagine how you would feel if your boss' attorney called you
a liar in front of the whole country. Imagine if that boss
was the president of the United States."

"I am just like you."

-- Linda "Free Willy" Tripp

"Imagine how you would feel if you bared your soul to a co-worker,
because you had nobody else to turn to, and the co-worker
taped every word you said, and turned your private,
personal problems into a national obsession."

"...and nobody is like you, Linder."

-- America, the last six months

How many times have you heard the word "impeach" lately?

The McVeigh wing of the GOFP, in concert with the money-grubbing
whores of the press, hoping for something juicy, claim they
see impeachment hearings in our future.


If they hold impeachment hearings,
I'll have to quit my job to catch the spectacle live.

Koresh, I hope they call Harold Ickes first.
I'll bet Sen. Dominici (NM - Racist) is sick that day.

I can't WAIT for Susan McDougal to take the stand.
Susie, when you kick Starr's nuts, do me a favor?
Tell Kenny "BartCop says Hello,"

I wonder...

Will Clinton's defense attorney be able to make anything out of
the fact that Monica is an admitted liar, trying her very best
to keep both parents from dying in prison, like Starr promised?
I could get Clinton off, and we know he has more competent
legal help than ol' BartCop could deliver, right?

I hope they call Hillary - I'd like to see how a VERY pissed off
First Lady tells the prosecutor to "eat shit" without saying it.

...and gee, I wonder if that Clinton fellow is a good witness?

You KNOW he's going to look the jury members in the eye and say,
"I never did anything wrong," and they're going to buy it.

ha ha

They're going to buy it with a Limba-sized spoon...
Po' Kenny thinks ha's got Monica.
Po' Kenny thinks ha's got Vernon Jordan.
Po' Kenny thinks he's got Harold Ickes.
Po' Kenny thinks ha's got Clinton.
Po' Kenny thinks ha's got Hillary.

Ha ha

Koresh, I wish I was in Vegas right now.

Y'know, Las Vegas is the most honest city in America.
In Las Vegas, if you tell some wild, bullshit story,
they suggest you place a bet on it.

Pigboy always says, "Here's what's going to happen,"
and then it never does, but he never has to pay a price any
higher than his rerun-editor's salary when it's playback time.

In Las Vegas, every time Pigboy said something wild like,
"Hillary murdered Vince Foster," he'd have an opportunity to
show his flock how much he's willing to bet on his charge.

Think about it:

Hillary murdered Vince Foster,

What if Hitlaugh bet $1,000,000 that it was true?


What if Hitlaugh bet $1,000,000 that it was true?


What if Hitlaugh bet $1,000,000 that it was real?

Higher interest rates,

What if Hitlaugh bet $1,000,000 that it was true?

Mena Airport,

What if Hitlaugh bet $1,000,000 that it was true?

The $200 Haircut Lie,

What if Hitlaugh bet $1,000,000 that it was true?

Record unemployment,

What if Hitlaugh bet $1,000,000 that it was true?

The Haiti "disaster."

What if Hitlaugh bet $1,000,000 that it was true?

The "Crash on Wall Street"

What if Hitlaugh bet $1,000,000 that it was true?

The "Bosnian Massacre."

What if Hitlaugh bet $1,000,000 that it was true?

The China Satellite Affair,

What if Hitlaugh bet $1,000,000 that it was true?

The "Bungled Foreign Policy" charge,

What if Hitlaugh bet $1,000,000 that it was true?

Koresh, I wish I could buy me some Clinton stock right now.
Trouble is, like ANY stock, people know it's good stock,
so there's no such thing as buying Clinton low.

He's at 70 perecent.
Remember when G. Gordon Liddy used to repeat, over and over,
"You 42 percent, you suckerrrrrrrrrrrrs."

Hey, Gordon.
That 42 percent has grown to 70.

America loves a winner.

"Every attack so far has been blunted by the comical absurdity
of charges, and the more serious charges have no base in truth.
It however must go foward even now that Republicans have realized
the political error for one of the original reasons for the
attacks was to negate any public dicussion on the previous
administrations of Reagan-Bush, easily the most corrupt
American governments in the 20th century, and negate,
at least in public mind, the failure of Reagan and Bush...."

Henri Fouchard, Le Monde

"If it's true what happened to Paula Jones,
simply for hitting on a dog like her, he should do 30 days."

-- OJ Simpson, "Tough On Crime" Republican

Bill Clinton Can't Tell the Truth, they say.

The GOFP says Clinton's word is no good.
They say you can't depend on him to tell the truth.

When the GOFP says that about Clinton, ask 'em this:

Compared to whom?

Clinton can't be trusted?

Let's compare Clinton to ....Nixon.

Richard Nixon promised in 1968 to end the Vietnam War.
The war ended in 1973. Do you know how many tens of thousands
of American boys died waiting for Nixon to keep his word?
Nixon lied.

Oh, yeah. One other little thing.
He also promised to be the "law and order" president.
Nixon lied.

Let's compare Clinton to Ford.

Gerald Ford was asked at his confirmation hearing if he
would pardon Richard Nixon for his felonies.
Ford said "America wouldn't stand for that."
I saw it, you saw it.
We know it's true.
Ford lied.

Let's compare Clinton to Reagan.

Ronald Reagan promised "smaller government."
The Reagan Administration spent more money than every
President from Washington thru Carter, COMBINED!

Oh, yeah. One other little thing.
Reagan promised there were no weapons on those two planes he
sent to Hezbollah, the guys that murdered 240 Marines in one day.
(Think of the shit Clinton would get if HIS bungling
caused the deaths of 240 Marines in one day.)

Remember that day? Remember when Reagan got on TV and
warned Hesbollah "You can run, but you can't hide."
Remember that?

Well, there was no reason for Hezbollah to hide.
Ollie North had their home address.

By the way, "Wag the Dog" was about REAGAN, not Clinton.


It's not about what Clinton MIGHT have done - it's about what Reagan/Butch DID.

"Wag the Dog" told the story of why we "invaded" Grenada
to "save" all those "endangered" medical students.


We invaded Grenada so Reagan wouldn't have to explain why
he overruled the recommendations of his Joint Chiefs and
insisted the Marines be housed on land, instead of
on ships where they could be better protected.

To prevent that from being topic "A" on the news,
Reagan staged a war to hide the FACT that his personal
dumbshit fuck-up caused the death of 240 Marines.
Reagan lied.

So far, Clinton looks like a saint next to the "law and order"
Nixon administration, Ford's pardon, and Ronald Reagan's
"smaller government/no weapons to terrorists" years.

More recently, we heard Butch's "Read My Lips,"
the biggest non-Watergate blunder in presidential history.
Can we trust George Butch?

Oh, yeah. One other little thing.
Butch promised to "uphold and defend" the constitution.
At that fateful Iran-Contra cabinet meeting, when Caspar
and Schultz stood up, banged their fists on the table and
said "Dammit, Mr. President, THIS IS ILLEGAL!!"

Why did Bush remain silent?
Why did Bush testify he wasn't "in the loop?"
Why did Bush have to pardon Reagan's cabinet?
To prevent their testimony against him?
Bush lied.

And I won't even mention his secret Paris meeting with Hezbollah
that kept the American hostages in Tehran an extra 3 months.
Son of a bitch...

I love it when the GOP says Clinton is corrupt.
This, from the party of Nixon, Ford, Reagan and Bush.
Eisenhower was the last GOFP President to leave without
giving or getting a pardon,

.....and Bill Clinton is corrupt?

So we look back at
"I'll have a law and order presidency."
"The nation won't stand for a Nixon pardon..."
"I promise less spending."
"Read My Lips."

....and Clinton is a guy we can't trust?

George Stephanopolous, also known as Judas Maximus,
has been stabbing his old boss in the back for seven months.
George forgot that ABC hired him to counter Bill Kristol's lies.

Trouble is, when Kristol says a bunch of bad things about Clinton,
Judas says "it's worse than that," then he doubles the accusation.

Judas was the first moron to utter the "I" word.
He was once Clinton's media expert, so he KNEW that his
idiocy would be used by the white supremecysts (sick)
and repeated over and over a thousand times.

Did you hear this, from last Sunday's Circle Jerk
with Sam the Whore and Cokie Jackskirt?

"Bill Clinton should go on TV and APOLOGIZE to Hillary."

Stephie, fuck off and die.

If Bill has something to say to Hillary, he doesn't need a
worldwide audience. The only thing that would come out of
that would be blisters on Ashcroft's right hand.

Judas, why don't you just come out and explain why you have
come to HATE your former friend so much.

What, did Clinton refuse your homosexual advances?

Don't forget:

Religion is the bureaucracy between you and God.

Bill Clinton

He never wanted much.
He was a very talented lawyer, but the rewards were few.
He enjoyed the spotlight, but he never wanted wealth.
Money was never at the top of the list.
He never wanted to be rich.
Matter of fact, for a guy who made $100,000,000 PER MONTH
smuggling drugs, he seems to have no ability to retain money.

Without money, there's no corruption.

He never wanted much.
He never wanted fame.
He only wanted what was good for America.
He never wanted anybody hurt, or destroyed.

Bill Clinton never wanted much...
...maybe a lil' tongue now and then...

>From Dave P:


>I've been wondering, why you go after Harvey the way you do?
>Granted I have heard very little of him on the radio but what
>I have heard has been pretty much apolitical.
>Have I missed something?

Paul Harvey is Limba with more manners.
He agreed with Falwell and broadcast that Clinton murdered 40 people
back in Arkansas, said that was a "fact."
During the '96 campaign, he said he knew "for a fact" that
the Clinton's weren't in love, that it was a sham marriage.
Since the ONLY way he could know that "for a fact" is if
Bill or Hillary told him that, (they didn't) it means
he took his personal guess and made it a "fact."

Using his tactics, I guessed that Harvey gives "Monica" to horses
and magically changed that guess into a "fact."

Sure, that's a horrible thing to say about anybody, but it shows
what happens when you turn a guess into a rock-solid fact.
The cornerstone of LNW is using their tactics against them.

>Back to Hillary.
>The woman is not a good person, nor is she a good actress.
>Every smile and every pleasant word rings false to me.

See? That's a legit point of view. I don't care if you dislike
Hillary - this is America. As long as you don't claim
"Hillary murders people" then you have no quarrel with me.

>Like her mother, she radiates a chill.

I've never seen a picture of her mom.
As far as "radiates a chill," that's an opinion.
Powerful lawyers rarely seem warm and cuddly in public.

>She looks arrogant and lustful only for power. Nor does she
>strike me as wise except in a conniving scheming sort of way.
>I'm puzzled by the praise given to her.

The majority of Americans see her differently.
That means you're out of touch.

>What has she ever done that gives evidence of special abilities?
>Correct me if I'm wrong but I believe she was hired by the
>Rose Law firm when her husband was Attorney General and she was
>made a partner when her husband was governor.

So, you had the same problem with Mrs. Reagan, Mrs. Butch etc.
They were nothing without their husbands, right?
If Susie housewife wrote a book about her dog,
would it be a best-seller? No.

Plus, she was on the board at Wal-Mart, too.
You'd better include Wal-Mart in your criminal cabal.

>As someone who practiced law for 17 years I can assure you that
>if my wife was governor, partnership offers would be plentiful.

Gee, it's almost like money and politics meet, sometimes.
Can that happen?
I'm not sure that's ever happened anywhere except Arkansas.

>Have you ever heard of any challenging cases she has handled?

Is that fair?
Take away murder trials, and Washington DC, and I can't name ANY
powerful cases that certain lawyers have handled.

I can't tell you who the lawyers are for the Dow implant case.
That's a huge, multi-billion dollar case, but, according to your
reasoning, unknown, unqualified attorneys are handling it,
because I can't name them. That's not a good way to judge an attorney.

>I will bet she has never concerned herself with pleasing anyone but herself.

Are you sure you're an attorney?
Do you always use the word "never" in your work?
You'd "never" say something that crazy in court, would you?

>I have been married for 27 years and have never looked
>outside of my marriage for love. Never had to.
>Our president has, repeatedly.
>What does that tell you?

It tells me several things:

It tells me you strongly dislike Bill and Hillary.
You've never been a famous, powerful person.
You don't know what it's like to ALWAYS be the center of attention.
You've never had a roomful of women throw themselves at you.

How many times has Sharon Stone said in print that she'd like
to take you to her bedroom? I admire your restraint, but you
can't compare yourself to the most lusted-after man in America.
How many women have said, in print, that they'd enjoy performing
oral sex on you because of the work you've done?
When you're in his shoes, you can judge fairly.

I think you made another error.
Two statements you've made:

1. Hillary has "never" concerned herself with others...
2. You've "never" cheated on your wife.

I can prove statement one is wrong.
That means statement two might be wrong, too.
Be careful with "never" and always, Counselor.
They'll get you in trouble.

>It tells me that the marriage is nothing more than her
>means to power and fleeting glory.

At least you qualified that with "it tells me that..."

There's hope for you, my friend.

Where is Bill Bennett?

Ha ha

Bill Bennett, Better Than You.
Bill Bennett, still smoking...

Ha ha

I have a new neighbor.
His name is Patrick, and he's a staunch Republican.
He's also gay.

He claims he's the godson of the late John Tower.

I decided to pull a little trick on him.
I installed a kill-switch on the BartCop-mobile.
When he was mowing his lawn, I pretended I had trouble
starting my car, and he came over see if he could help.

He tried to start it, and since he wasn't pressing the
kill-switch, it started up right away.
I got back in the car, and again, it "failed" to start.
He tried it again, and yep - it started right up.
I told him he was a mechanical genius.
He bought it.

So now, he starts my car for me every morning.
Ha ha

In this business, you can't be too careful.

I got e-mail saying somebody has the prank call to Rush
about the Dunkin Donut man on a webpage on the internet.

You remember, the guy called and asked Pigboy if he cried
when the Dunkin Donut man died...

Rush sputtered and said "I didn't even KNOW the guy."
Then he asked the caller to repeat the question, ha ha.
Feedbag, you're a slow-wit.

If anyone finds that website, let us know.

Great Black Fascist Quotes

"Bill Clinton WANTS to deny your kids a decent education."

--Walter Williams, July 21, Feedbag Radio

Admit it,

That's the most honest charge ever leveled against
Bill Clinton on the EIB network.

Did you see Newt's press conference after the Capitol shootings?

Newt lost an acquaintance.

You know what we could do?
We could play a tape of Newt crying, again and again and again,
laughing at the personal pain he was going through.

Backwards, upside-down, frame-by-frame,
we could play that funny tape every way possible.
Matter of fact, we'd hold a contest to try to determine the most
awful act of de-humanization we could possibly iamgine.


We could get a studio audience and laugh together.
We could do it every night for a 100 fucking nights in a row.

We could drill the image of Gingrich crying deep, deep, deep
into the conscience of every America that could bare to watch.

We could make fun of Newt, after each halting breath he took
when he spoke of his friendship with the late capitol guard.

Isn't that a horrible thought?
Isn't that the shittiest thing a person could do?

Sure, we could to that....

But then we'd be no better than that human-waste Limba.

I'm watching Larry King as I type this.

His panel of ditto-monkeys is trying to figure out how
forcing the Secret Service to testify against Bill Clinton
could POSSIBLY put his life in danger.

These lying mother-effers refuse to look at the facts.

Look at the questions Kenneth Starr is asking:

1. What did Clinton say about me?
2. What was Hillary's reaction?
3. What did Hillary say about me?
4. What was Bill's reaction?
5. What did you tell that reporter?
6. Did the reporter believe you?
7. Does the reporter like me?
8. Why does America hate me so much?
9. Am I that big a dweeb?

These aren't questions about crimes.
This is an asshole with money and power on a witchhunt.

Can you believe how the SC ruled?
The Secret Service does NOT know best?
The Secret Service was EXAGGERATING?
Some judges decided the Secret Service was lying?

Goddamn, that pisses me off.
Are the Supreme Court judges taking bribes?

THIS week, they declared Tobacco isn't a drug.
What's next, grass isn't green?

LOOK what the right-wing has done:

They tried with xgate1, then xgate2, thenxgate3
then xgate4, then xgate6, then xgate7, then xgate8,
then xgate9, then xgate 10, and on and on and on.
Each time, Bill Clinton was too smart for them.

They thought SURE they had him on this Monica thing,
but when they saw the public wouldn't buy the "crime,"
they went to the ultimate hardball game.

Richard Mellon Scafe's money, and his boy Kenneth,
the political pull of Helms, Sentel and Wholecloth,
the asleep-at-the-wheel Attorney General,
and a press whoring for a scandal,

(please Jesus, please.... a scandal...)

has caused a situation where they're now going to have a
liiiiiiiiitle bit of daylight between Clinton and his bodyguards.

That's what they've wanted all along.
They want to assassinate Bill Clinton.

And then...

then the fascists are going to claim they didn't WANT Clinton dead.
Rush and Liddy and North et al will say what a "tragedy" this was.

Clinton's bodyguards now must sometimes be out of hearing range,
since Kenny the Pooh now can ask, "What did Bill say about that?"
and "Tell me everything Clinton said to his lawyer."
"What is Mrs. Clinton telling her friends in Arkansas?
I remind you, if you refuse to answer, it's jail."


Did we lose a war?
How/when did the fascists take over?
Should we all move to Scandinavia?

Are the Supreme Court judges taking bribes?

Was this their plan all along?
I think they've decided they've had enough of Clinton.
He didn't get the message.
They warned him, but he has "thick" skin.

1. They ridiculed Clinton when he wanted Ryder trucks kept away
from the White House. Dole said "It's the people's house and
Clinton's trying to become King," the dirty, rat bastard.

2. Remember his trip to Africa?
The staff called ahead to determine protocol for when Clinton
goes to a Catholic Mass. They told him it was OK for him to
receive Holy Communion, so he did.

But, the right-wing ditto-monkey Catholics decided they'd use
the body of Jesus Christ to beat up on Bill Clinton.
Can you believe that?

This is the Body of Christ they're using...
...to beat up on a political opponent?

Are you kidding?????

If I was a religious person, I would refuse to use the body of
my God as an attack weapon, but I guess that's the difference
between sanity and a hate-driven, three-nutted ditto-monkey.

3. They ridiculed Clinton for wanting Chelsea to attend a private
school where she could be more easily protected by the SS.
The GOP wouldn't mind if Chelsea was kidnapped or murdered.
That might help their private school voucher bill to become law
and that'd be a tax cut they could crow about at election time.

...and if Chelsea needs to die for that cause, that's OK.

She's the daughter of a liberal.

4. This latest shooter at the capitol - HE wanted Clinton dead.
Another thing about this card-carrying NRA-DMA member:
For some reason, he carried a .38 pistol.
It only holds 6 bullets, moron.

Tom Delay wants every American to have access to multi-clip,
fully automatic assault weapons. If the shooter kept up with
his NRA pamphlets, he would've had a Glock and he might've
dropped 51 people, like that little bastard in Oregon that
remembered to bring the "right" weapons to school that day.

Does Tom Delay REALLY think America is safer if every citizen
has an AK-47 and a rocket launcher in their front yard?
Or does he just like the millions the Rifle Lobby feeds them?

5. We've got Fatty Feedbag force-feeding conspiracy theories
to every McVeigh-wannabe south of the Mason-Dixon.

6. Po' Kenny Starr says the men who lay their lives on the line
every day should be forced to turn tattletate.

...all because Paula Rhinoplasty wanted a job in Hollywood.

So, ...here's what we've got:

- Paula needs a job and some money - lots of money,
- Scarfe wants to bypass the electoral college and pick our president,
- Starr needs a retirement plan,
- Linda Tripp is tired of seeing others make BIG book money,
- Lucy Frankenstein hasn't had a book deal in decades,


...we pull Clinton's bodyguards a few feet away so the NEXT gun
nut has a better chance to fulfill Mr Scarfe's wishes.

This a great country?

The day Reagan was shot,
what if he had stepped aside for a moment to get a report on which
condiments could be substituted for vegetables, thus saving money
on the "socialized school lunch program," so he could increase the
tax cut for his Wall Street buddies. Incredibly self-serving,
stupid, greedy and short-sighted bullshit, but no crime.

To avoid embarrassment, and knowing the Secret Service might be forced
to repeat every word he's ever spoken, Reagan asks his guards to
walk ahead a few feet, so he could have some privacy.

Then Hinckley shoots Reagan.

In THIS scenario, Hinckley gets TWO slugs into Reagan,
because the Secret Service was one extra step away from him.

Reagan dies on the operating table and George Herbert Traitor Butch
becomes our 41st president on March 31, 1981.

If the Secret Service people were another 5 feet away,
they might NOT have gotten Reagan in that limo after 1 shot.
Hinckley might've gotten off two shots, or three, because
Reagan couldn't depend on his bodyguards to remain silent.

Of course, Fat Bastard keeps asking,
"Why does Clinton need proximity when he's in the Oval Office?"

He DOESN'T, you lying dog.
He needs proximity when traveling, Whine-stein.

Let's not forget that in his first term, a two DMA regulars fired
assault weapons at the White House, and one crazy son-of-a-bitch
flew his goddamn Cessna into the side of the White House,
yet Pigboy says our president has "too much" protection.

The dues-paying ditto-monkeys follow Rush's "logic" that only
a criminal president would ever want or need his privacy.

To prove his point, Rush has allowed live internet-connected video
cameras in every room in his house 24 hours a day because,
"after all, I have nothing to hide."

No, wait, I'm sorry...
That DIDN'T happen.
Feedbag has LOTS to hide, and he wants his privacy.

So, the proximity of the Secret Service to Reagan saved his life.

You watch, they'll allow Ken Starr to sour the relationship
between the President and his protectors. Then, in the far,
far future, if a Republican ever regains the White House,
they'll pass legislation to fix the problem THEY CREATED!

I understand their being dirty, rotten whores, but who could've
predicted the right-wingers would use the assassination of a
sitting president to further their agenda of more guns,
more God and less education?

If Clinton gets shot while in office, it's OK with them.
The fascists want the White House back - fuck the cost.

Even two years ago, I would've said,
"The GOFP is full of fascist hate,
but they'd NEVER stoop that low."

Well, now they have.

If they do, in the end, get Clinton,
I hope the weapon that finally gets him has hair on it,
instead of a 30.06 rifle.

I need a drink.


Yeah, yeah, yeah

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