See, I told you so...
As predicted on these pages for the last three years,
(This is the Third Anniversary Issue of RL-LNW)
Bill Clinton has out-smarted his ditto-monkey tormentors.
He has out-smarted the tobacco whores.
He has out-smarted the religio-wackos.
He has out-smarted the fascist pigs and dogs.
He has out-smarted the all-white Davidians.
The Republican Party has lost all it's leaders and they're
anxiously hoping against hope that somehow, from somewhere,
someone will appear and tell them what they stand for.
...and I don't think the son of "Read-My-Lips" is that man.
Oohhh, my head hurts.
I'm just starting to sober up.
We started with Black Russians, then we went to Rock Island Teas.
Then we went a tequila shot for every "Not Guilty" vote with the Rock Island Teas as chasers.
Then, ...the ghost of Sam Kinison dropped by.
I can't reveal too much more, but let's just say it feels good to be back in men's clothing.
When the Senate finally declared our best President "innocent,"
I called Knuckledrag Democratic Headquarters and asked them if
they knew where any of those menstrual blood-smearing parties were.
The little old lady who answered the phone said she'd never heard of
such a thing
as a blood-smearing party. I told her that Spred-'em-and-Home-wreck-'em Doc Meng
said allllllllll the liberals do that when they have a party.
The little old lady said, "You mean Limba-with-a-vagina?"
I guess she reads LNW, too.
So, what did we witness?
What happened in these last 14 months?
Geez, it was almost like a Frankenstein movie.
Was there a monster here?
Some unknown entity has been feeding on Republicans.
So far, whatever it is, has eaten the careers of:
Snoot the Vile One,
Mike Pappas of New Jersey
(Twinkle, twinkle, Kenneth Starr)
As was foretold hundreds of times,
Clinton was never in any danger of being outwitted by the Simian Collective.
...then, they dug up Juanita Broddrick.
Let's go right to the 12th Round
Subject: Justify rape, you asswipe.
Jane Doe #5 was raped.
She should have came forward sooner.
So should have a lot of rape victims.
That doesn't make the muther fucking rapists behavior any more acceptable, does it.
You have a lot to be proud of in Bill Clinton, don't you.
At the end of the day, he's still a liar, a RAPIST and a
disgrace to the office of the presidency. Of curse, in your
next pathetic defense of Bubba, you must now attack "Jane Doe #5".
Someone, who I'm sure you will say has "alterior motives" yet,
even after seeing her interview, I can't even recall her name.
Some reason to go public. I'll leave you now to
deal with your
hate filled denial, blasting and pathetic excuses.
Loren L. Brown
Tell you what, Loren...
For the first time in a long time, I'm going to be nice.
I'm going to answer your rage-rant without dismembering you.
Justify rape, you asswipe.
Eat me, mongrel dog.
Jane Doe #5 was raped.
Right off, you pretend your opinion is a fact.
I can say Reagan murdered 15 prostitutes, but darn...
all you have is my word for it.
No evidence of any kind, but take my word for it, OK?
See how stupid you look?
She should have came forward sooner.
So should a lot of rape victims.
Crime victims should report crimes immediately.
But there's no money in accusing some obscure attorney general.
Rush always says, "Follow the money."
Richard Mellon Scarfe won't pay for a story like that.
That story won't get you on Nightline.
That story won't get you on NBC's Dateline
That story won't get you in the Whore Street Journal.
That story won't get you a month on Pigboy's hate show.
Nobody cares about a wild accusation against an attorney general.
...but if that guy becomes president, and you know you can become
a star overnight on the Fox Network, just do what Paula did.
Monica has been offered $2,000,000 for the dirty dress.
Gennifer testified she's into her second million.
Paula has been on Oprah, Roseanne, Larry King, Pat Robertson's show,
plus she signed that contract with Guess Jeans, and she was able
to afford her trunk-reduction surgery.
...why wouldn't an Arkansas, trailer-park, nursing home slumlord
run into the national spotlight and sign a book deal if she could?
And how much did the Whore Street Journal and Nightline and
NBC's Dateline and Pat Robertson pay to "unearth this truth?"
Remember, ...like Rush told us 1,000 times...
"Dateline can't be trusted."
They put explosives in a Chevy truck because it wouldn't blow up
when they crashed it WITHOUT any explosives.
Rush told us 1,000 times..
"Never trust Dateline, they LIE!"
...but if they have something bad to say about Clinton, then "the truth has finally been told?"
That doesn't make the muther fucking rapists behavior any more acceptable, does it.
Women who wait 20 years until their "rapist" becomes president would be more
widely believed by the public if they came forward with their story before
Richard Mellon Scarfe writes the checks.
You have a lot to be proud of in Bill Clinton, don't you.
You bet your ass.
Why do you think these charges are being fabricated?
He's been the best president of my lifetime, and I'm really old.
If Clinton hadn't given us peace and tremendous prosperity,
there'd be no reason to try to destroy his reputation.
At the end of the day, he's still a liar,
Name an honest politician.
Clinton is a politician, the best there is.
he's still a RAPIST
We're back to Reagan murdering those prostitutes again...
How could Nancy stay with him, knowing he committed murder?
How low has the Republican party sunk?
Serial-murder is OK if you're a Republican?
What kind of morals do you have?
Is that why 73 percent of America likes Clinton?
Because the Republicans are pro-serial-murder?
and a disgrace to the office of the presidency.
Sure, we could've done without the Monica story, but Clinton didn't
on Page One. Ken Starr, the House Managers and the press whores did that.
Of curse, in your next pathetic defense of Bubba,
My defense of Bubba is not pathetic.
My defense of him is inspired.
His attorneys regularly use my stuff.
you must now attack "Jane Doe #5".
I will attack every two-bit, no-proof slut with a claim
who tries to extort money from our best president.
Someone, who you will say has "alterior motives".
Lisa Meyers asked if she had a book deal.
She said, "There IS no book deal."
She didn't say, "I refuse to make a dime from this."
She said "There IS no book deal."
I guess it depends on what the meaning of the word "is," is.
yet, even after seeing her interview, I can't even recall her name.
Loren L. Brown
Get the fuck out of here...
It's a good thing you caught me in a good mood,
cause I usually pummel ditto-monkeys like ewe.
Pigboy was Right
Larry Eight-Wives King is the worst interviewer in history.
Did you see Linda Tripp on his show?
Tripp: Clinton's crimes continue to this day.
He's still raping White House interns as we speak, even today.
8-Wives: Really? What town were you born in?
Tripp: Didn't you hear me?
Clinton is STILL raping children in the comfort of the oval office.
8-Wives: Really? What made you want to work in the White House?
Tripp: I'm still afraid for my life.
I'm afraid Bill Clinton is going to have me murdered, Larry.
8-Wives: Really? What's your favorite color?
Tripp: What's wrong with you, Larry?
Clinton wants me dead.
Can't you hear a goddamn thing I'm saying?
8-Wives: What do you think of John Goodman?
Great Republican Quotes
"Are you proud when the Lincoln Bedroom of the
White House is rented by the night,
and the president of the United States serves as the bellhop?"
-- John McCain, less whore than some
Hey, ...if they're sincere about this, every GOFP candidate will agree
that anyone who ever stays in their Lincoln bedroom will be screened to insure
they have not contributed in any way to the campaign or the administration.
..and that includes scumbags like Limba, who stayed in the
Lincoln bedroom after having Butch on his lil' hate radio show.
This whole Y2K problem?
Trust me, it doesn't exist.
Not for me and not for you.
But some people have a Y2K problem.
Some people have a big Y2K problem.
You know who has a massive Y2K problem?
You see, in the year 2000, the American voter won't recognize the commands
by the Coathanger Coalition and the Falwell/Robertson half of the Republican Party.
When the year 2000 hits, the GOFP is going to crash.
They're going to crash harder than Scott Weiland.
There might not BE a GOFP after November, 2000.
By the year 2004, maybe the only place we'll be able to see
the GOFP is on videotape in the National Archives.
They have a severe Y2K problem
By the way...
I want to thank both people who wrote and asked when
the next issue of RL-LNW would be sent out.
Your encouragement is appreciated.
Let's go back 14 months.
What was the FIRST thing RL-LNW said about this "scandal?"
From RL-LNW Volume 111:
>There's so much coming out, it's hard to respond.
>The best take I've seen so far was by Sam Donaldson.
>(Read these words - one by one - very carefully:)
>"If, in fact, evidence can be produced that the President asked this
woman to perjure herself,
>that's a felony, and it's big trouble for Bill Clinton."
> -- Sam Donaldson, Jan 22, 1998
>"IF" has always been a mother-effer for Republicans.
>"IF" they have a letter or a recording of Clinton asking her
>to commit a felony, it's going to shock the hell out of me.
>If they don't, like Rush Limba said today,
>"Clinton will be more popular than any president in history."
>I predict His Rotundness is right this time.
That was my first reaction.
Clinton would be MORE popular.
(still from Vol 111)
>Bill Clinton is going to beat this one, too.
>Matter of fact - he already has.
>Don't feel like such a putz.
>You lost to the CHAMP!
>No shame in that, right?
>Bill Clinton was backwards-hand-cuffed in a special-prosecutor straight-jacket,
>locked inside a Wells-Fargo safe, lowered into twenty feet of shark-infested water.
>We dare you to get out of this one...
>But he has/will.
>Bill Clinton is Michael Corleone without the murders.
>"I always knew you were too smart for them," Hillary said.
>"I always knew they'd never get you."
>"They never had a chance," Bill replied.
>Clinton wins again.
(remember, this was January LAST year)
Killer Rush Quotes
"Bill Clinton will never be impeached.
The House doesn't have the courage to do it.
Do you realize Clinton could suffer a 20-point free-fall in the polls and still be at 59 percent?
-- Captain Oink, Feb 10, LAST year
As far as I'm concerned, Senator Moynihan won't be missed.
I never had any use for him.
They said he was smart and dignified, but ...compared to whom?
Being a dignified member of the Senate is like being the
smartest Republican at a cross-burning - faint praise, indeed.
Goodbye, Senator, ...and take that Klansman Byrd with you.
Rappin' with Uncle O.J. Watts (R-Tom)
BartCop: What do you call it when you do the right thing,
even when nobody is watching you?
Watts: That's called "character!"
BartCop: What do you call it when you do the wrong thing,
over and over, while the voters are watching?
Watts: Uhmmm, ...a Republican fuck-up?
Great Fascist Quotes
"This isn't my body.
I just rent this body from God."
-- Spred-em-and-Home-wreck-em Doctor Laura
Hey, Doc, I've seen your body.
So has every teenage boy with a modem.
You should talk to God about a refund.
From: a subscriber
>I noticed a trend a while back of ditto-monkey letters in
>the Sun Herald asking "Has anyone you know ever been polled?"
>One guy asked straight out, "Where do the people who get to be
>in opinion polls live? Barney Frank's district?"
>Is this happening in Knuckledrag as well, or is it a purely local Gulf Coast phenomenon?
They whine about that constantly here.
In Oklahoma, everybody hates Clinton 1,000 percent, so they're certain that the polls are "lying."
>And another thing: *have* you ever been polled, yourself?
>A. G. L.
Yes and no.
Just 2 weeks ago, I was getting hang-ups on my phone machine.
I have caller ID, so I called them back and got their voice mail.
I told them that I sue people for a living and if they wanted to avoid a day in court
they'd better call me back with an apology and they better take me off their list.
They called the next day, apologizing profusely.
I asked what they wanted in the first place and they said,
"We take political polls for a national newspaper."
I almost got polled.
Gary Busey beats his wife.
Isn't he a Christian?
Isn't he a Promise Keeper?
Isn't he cocaine boy?
Isn't he the guy who headbutted a curb at 45 miles an hour?
Isn't he from Knuckledrag, Oklahoma?
I pushed him over a gym bench once at Memorial High.
For some reason, Mrs. BartCop doesn't like him either.
She always keeps a copy of Lethal Weapon 1 nearby.
She loves the ending.
The local television stations here in Knuckledrag are so inept.
The day they declared Clinton innocent, the dumb-as-rocks local
stations were teasing the prime-time viewers with
"Tune in tonight at ten to see how Senators Nickles and Pissquick voted."
They wouldn't vote for Clinton to save their kid's lives.
One thing, it was funny when they read the final vote.
"Senator Kennedy - Not Guilty"
"Senator Hatch - Guilty"
"Senator Daschle - Not Guilty"
"Senator Pissquick - Guilty"
...sounded right to me.
Our Government has once again asked for my assistance.
I've been asked to do some secret, desert research.
They gave me two options:
Option #1 Midland, Texas
Option #2 Las Vegas, Nevada
I've been to Vegas, so this time I wanted to go to Midland.
Mrs. BartCop, however, would rather go to Vegas.
You fellows know what kind of trap I'm in here.
I can hold my ground and go to Midland, Texas,
or I can be a promise keeper and honor my wife.
Looks like it's Vegas.
I talked to Steve, he's comping us a suite at the Mirage,
so it shouldn't be too bad.
Those suites are nice.
That means we're also going back to Area 51.
April 16th is a new moon.
That means it'll be darker than the GOP's future
in the desert north of Las Vegas that night.
I took some ADM cash and bought the best Sony camcorder
they make. It has night vision and 84-to-1 digital zoom.
We're going to tape the strange lights at Area 51.
If I get some viewable video, I'll get a video card and post the footage on the internet.
Senator Pissquick's email
Great Libertarian Quotes
"If you want to get together in any exclusive situation and have
people love you, fine -- but to hang all this desperate sociology
on the idea of "The Cloud-Guy" who has "The Big Book,"
who knows if you've been bad or good -- and CARES about any of it
-- to hang it all on that, folks, is the chimpanzee part of the brain working."
-- Frank Zappa
Frank, in the late 90's, we call them "ditto-monkeys."
I miss Frank.
This trial sure has it's funny moments.
(I'm watching the trial Saturday, the 6th.)
Ditto-monkey Bryant just said this:
"We are concerned that there may have been an
in some way, affect the testimony of a witness."
Everyone agrees with you, you wacky, fascist hairball.
Your boy Kenny Starr promised Monica that her parents
were going to rot in prison unless she sang his tune.
...sounds like obstruction of justice to me.
Damn, I sure wish I could testify in a trial or deposition
that I was CERTAIN would be shown on live television.
I could be a star.
Those house managers ask the stupidest goddamn questions.
Still watching Monica Saturday, the ditto-monkey asked her:
"What were you thinking at that time?"
I would answer, "I was thinking of how awful it is that a party
of nazi bastards is trying to illegally remove the best president
this country has had in the last 50 years."
What kind of idiot asks an open-ended question like that?
After they asked a few really stupid questions, and after I
shot back with a few zingers, even a ditto-monkey would
eventually learn to phrase his questions better, right?
Another ditto-monkey question: "If you told that
story to Paula Jones's attorneys,
do you think they would consider it misleading in any way?"
I'd say, "Jesus Christ, you want me to guess how goddamn stupid
Paula Jones's attorneys are? Or what the possible reaction of
Paula Jones's attorneys would be to my testimony?
As far as I can tell, those guys are less competent than you,
so there's no telling what wild-ass assumptions they'd make."
How many of these do you think they could take?
He did it again!
Asa Hutchinson just asked Monica: "What went through your mind then?"
Monica could've said, "I was wondering why George Butch had to
pardon those Republicans who lied about selling missles to Iran."
Koresh, it would be so much fun to have some self-important pinhead
try to trick me into saying something that wasn't true.
If anyone knows how I could get indicted,
please contact the Home Offices of RL-LNW.
The King of Debate
Caller: Rush, What happens if a pro-abortion EXTREMIST like
Republican Governor Whitman is on the 2000 ticket?
Should we vote for her?
Limba: It depends...
Mary Matalin and James Carville were on Meet the Whore with Tim Russert.
Russert all-in-fun ambushed Mary with a doll of that Tele-Tubby character Tinky-Winkie.
"I got you this, since that's your Republican crusade," said Tim the Whore.
"That's not MY crusade," insisted Matalin.
"Let me tell you something, I'm glad you brought that up, because I
Republicans who gay-bash in 2000. If we don't get off that, we don't DESERVE
to be the majority party in this country," she said.
I guess living with a liberal makes you smarter, eh Mary?
Then, speaking of gays, Russert says "Next up is John Kasich."
Kasich thinks he can win the GOFP nomination, ha ha.
A gay, gun-grabber thinks he can win primaries in the
party of Ken Starr, Bob Barr and Helen Chenoweth?
Great Lying Quotes
"Mark my words,
In 50 years, Henry Hyde and the other House Managers will be seen as HEROES!!"
-- The Giver of Shade
First of all, Your Pigness, we can't "mark" your words because
you don't have the balls
to allow your "wisdom" to be archived the internet like the legitimate politicos do.
Second, the ONLY reason you'd say something as obvious as
"wait 50 years and see how we look" is because you look
like a pile of horseshit in the here-and-now.
Subject: Rush Limbaugh
>im so glad that poeple like you stand up against
>Rush please be vocel in your support of president Clitnon
>slim like you and Larry flint have a lot in commen with SLIK Willie
>its great to see that you cantstand on any issues but need to use
>characer assasination as you weapon . You certainly dont know what
>the truth is Another thing you have in commen with our tarnished
>Well see you at election time.
The only part you got right was about the next election.
Oh, and thanks for sending Pigboy a copy.
Let me know if he oinks back.
Great Dumb Quotes
"The Democrats are going to show us the Indian
-- Henry Hyde (R-Homewrecker)
Great Dumber Quotes
"History will show Henry Hyde up there with Abraham
as one of the greatest men in American History."
-- Pigboy, the next day
I really wanted to see that Indian Rope trick.
If you weren't able to send a check to Julie Hiatt Steele,
the only innocent person in this whole fucking mess,
at least check her web page and send an encouraging word.
If Ken Starr came after you,
wouldn't YOU want a little support?
Did you see the Law & Order/Homicide movie about Ken Starr?
If you weren't sure how big an asshole Starr is, these two hours can
clear it up for you.
"All you have is a murder, Mr. McCoy. I'm looking for possible obstruction of justice."
What a prick.
During the trial...
"This is our political kidney stone," said Ed Rogers, a longtime
Republican operative who has been giving Trent Lott advice.
"It is painful, it is all-consuming, but when it's over, it's over.
I just hope Trent Lott can pass the son-of-a-bitch."
Subject: yadda yadda
>Ever notice how Herr Limbaugh always complains about Clinton
>turning the presidency into a monarchy, and then he usually
>refers to the "majesty" of Ronald Reagan?
It's Pigboy's lil' logic wormhole.
Former Gov. Lamar Alexander of Tennessee described "compassionate
conservative" as "weasel words" that are "cleverly and deliberately
put together to confuse people by meaning nothing."
Lumberjack, isn't that a terrible thing to say about the son
of the only person who ever hired your no-work ass?
>Keep ranting well just keep on winning You know the only reason
>Bill Clinton is so damned pouplar is that he keeps coopting
>Republicans its hard to compete with someone It must be tough on
>you I pity my leftist friends who cant catch a break
>the Demos are peeking eighteen moths early it's going be
>a glorious when your rappist finally leaves the WhiteHose.
>sincerily james acarson
>member, party of Lincan
Clinton is so pouplar he's coopting the fascists?
It's a glorious when the rappist leaves?
Party of Lincan?
Odd Ditto-Monkey Quotes
"Please, Mr. President,
Please take this burden off the backs of the American people."
-- Lindsey Graham, (R-Wantstowintoobadly)
Uhh, excuse me, Ditto-monkey Graham, but Clinton didn't put
any burden on America's back. That's what YOU bastards did.
Clinton tried to hide this.
Clinton tried to make it go away.
Clinton just wanted to do the nation's business.
Clinton obviously hated this whole mess.
But YOU southern, white-power Davidians staged this circus.
The America voters, your bosses, told you to knock it off,
but YOU said alllllllllll the facts had to come out.
America now knows what Republicans do when they have power.
They go peeping into the bedrooms of the minority party.
That's a sick, perverted sexual addiction,
a sickness that Doc Meng says cannot be cured.
So stop lying about who was Executive Producer of this drama.
The Party of Barr, Tripp, Delay and Starr produced this.
Hillary will NOT run for the Senate next year.
John Elway WILL run for the Super Bowl again next year.
This just in...
FOX has offered Juanita Broddrick her own variety show.
Corrections and Retractions
Last issue, I suggested people contact Domino's Pizza.
I inadvertently passed on to you the probably-innacurate
statement that said Pigboy shilled for Domino's.
I didn't make that up just to attack Domino's.
I saw a website with a list of Pigboy's sponsors.
Most were hard-to-find companies like the nasal strippers,
bathroom tile cleaners and mattress companies, but then I
saw Domonio's listed and thought it was strange that a
company that visible and dependent on the public's good will
would let a nazi whore like Limba speak for them.
Domino's got a few e-mails, prompting this letter:
From: "Cozette Phifer" WASSERC@mail.dominos.com
Subject: Response to Rumor
>I have viewed your bulletin, Volume 138, suggesting that
>Rush Limbaugh is a spokesman for Domino's Pizza.
>First, I must inform you that Domino's Pizza, Inc. is in no way affiliated
with Mr. Limbaugh.
>All rumors to the contrary are false.
>Although Mr. Limbaugh may be an enthusiastic consumer of the products we provide,
>I assure you that no agreement has been made, or even discussed, with him
>to serve as a spokesperson for our company.
>In light of the misinformation you chose to publish, I urge you to
verify the facts.
>I believe Domino's Pizza deserves an immediate retraction in your bulletin.
>You may e-mail me a copy when this is accomplished.
>Also, please know that Domino's Pizza's legal counsel is prepared to take
>all appropriate action when the source of this rumor is identified.
>I welcome you to call me with any questions or comments. My telephone
>number is xxx-xxx-xxxx. My e-mail address is firstname.lastname@example.org.
>Public Relations Manager
>Domino's Pizza, Inc.
Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn.
I've been trying like crazy to get sued for 3 years.
Now, when I finally get my chance, when I finally get what
I've been asking for, I agree with the plaintiff!!!!!!!!!
They're saying, "If you tie us to that nazi pig, we'll sue!!"
I agree with them 100 percent.
If somebody tied me to Pigboy, I'd sue, too.
Looking for a second legal opinion,
I contacted an attorney that I met on-line.
>As a longtime reader and practicing attorney, I would suggest
>that you may wish to print the retraction Domino's is asking for.
>If they indeed have not hired Limpblob as their spokesperson,
>they may have a legitimate action for defamation against you.
That was my first thought, too, but do you think they'd really
fly in a team of lawyers to take depositions and begin a trial?
That might cost them a hundred thou, and shit, they might lose!
Besides, that'd make the news.
People would talk, people would notice.
Larry King might call.
Time and Newsweek might need a cover that week.
Court TV might want it.
...could be my big ticket.
I thought about writing them and saying "Come get me."
Also, to win, they'd have to show damages.
Maybe Pigboy would send lawyers to try to prove that
having him for a spokesman is NOT certain death, ha ha
Also, you have that wacky free-speech issue.
>Of course, their claim is by no means guaranteed success.
>Domino's is a well-known "public figure," thus making it
>necessary for them to prove malice in publishing the statement.
>Also, I suspect they may have a difficult time establishing damages to a jury.
>But, Domino's is a wealthy corporation which no doubt has a bank of
>with a virtually unlimited budget.
>You don't want to get into a pissing match with them.
Maybe the Rutherford Prostitute would come to my aid?
>But it's your decision.
>Also, if Domino's is NOT using El Puerco Grande, you have a
>moral obligation aside from any legal considerations, to retract.
Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn.
I've tried to get someone to sue me for 3 years, and it figures an innocent
who wants to avoid being linked to Baconboy is the first to threaten.
Am I afraid of the Domino's lawyers?
If they took me to court,
I'd milk 'em till they said "Mooooo."
By the way, did you catch this line?
"Limbaugh may be an enthusiastic consumer of our product..."
She's sending me a signal.
She hates Pigboy, too, and is galled at the idea that
she has to defend against being in bed with a nazi.
But, in the end,
Domino's was unfairly linked to a nazi dog and it was my
sloppy editing that let the mistake slip through.
It looks like Domino's feels the same way about Rush that most of America does.
I could win this, but in the end, I'll do the right thing because, after
what is BartCop-ism if not compassion for the underdog?
Looks like we'll be having Domino's Pizza tonite.
Late in the trial, I got this e-mail:
We think this impeachment nonsense has gone on long enough.
We think this whole process should come to a halt.
It seems as though Clinton has driven Mr. Starr completely crazy.
We want Bill Clinton to be our president.
We are determined to vote those House Managers OUT.
America doesn't deserve this horror show of a trial.
Somebody needs to make them stop.
Make it stop, BartCop, if you can.
Make it stop.
PLeeeeeeeeease make it stop!
Make it stoooooooooopppppppppppppppp!!
Make it fucking stoooooooopppppppppppppp!!!
We can't stand it anymore, not one more goddamn day.
Make it stoooooooooooooooopppppppppppppppppppppppppp!!!!
Make it sto-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p!!!!
Make it fucking sto-o-o-o-o-o-o-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p!!!!
The phrasing seemed familiar, so I did some checking.
That e-mail came from me.
I sent my own confused and bewildered ass e-mail!
That's when I came to a horrible conclusion:
It's never going to stop.
They'll be a Jane Doe #6 and #7.
They'll parade them out, one after another, on schedule.
They'll find some girl who broke her arm in 1982, and she'll say
Clinton did it during her brutal rape. Sure enough, the girl has X-rays
from 1982 that prove she had a broken arm then,
so hate-radio will have "more proof" that Clinton is a monster.
They'll never stop clawing at Bill Clinton's penis.
For the next 22 months, it'll be one no-proof claim after another.
The charges will grow worse and worse as time goes by.
Someday, maybe after he leaves office, maybe even after he's dead,
they'll find a mass grave in Central America and the GOP will pay
some coffee-bean farmer to say he's "pretty sure" he saw
Bill Clinton with a shovel back in the early 80's.
We're going to have to resign ourselves to the fact that the attacks
will never, ever stop.
If the attacks ever stop, they'll have to admit Clinton has been great for America.
...and it's little consolation to know that now that this tactic has
we'll do it to them, only worse, that is, if the stupid sons-of-bitches can ever get elected again.
...I'm going to mix another batch of Rock Island Teas.
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