Vol 143 - The Cocks Report

This page best when viewed with tequila.

...or, The Pissquick Issue

You thought this issue would be called, what...

"The Pigboy Menace?"

Sorry this issue is so late.

Besides writing a new issue, I've been driving the Church bus
for Our Lady of Perpetual Pain,  and that's kept me busy.
It's been so long since the last issue, I might've forgotten
how to write this stuff, so lower your expectations, OK?

Plus, we're still putting the final touches on bartcop.com.

(Clinton's voice...)

"I've worked harder on this than anything in my life.
 I'm focused like a laser beam on bartcop.com."

You're going to like the new bartcop.com
 It'll be hueueueueueueuge.

Open Line BartCop

Remember our experiment?

Notice I say "our experiment," so if it blows, and it may,
you'll retain some responsibility for the fiasco.
(I learned that from Clinton.)

We asked you subscribers to send in some questions.
We got lots and lots of questions, too many for one issue.
We thought Jokeboy might make "funny" with the questions.
We just wanted some feedback.
We got feedback, all right:
We got lots of questions.
This one came in first:

>Thanks for having "Open Line BartCop."
>I have a question.

>How do I unsubscribe?

This just in...

CNN says back in May, Madeleine Allbright recommended that non-military targets in
Belgrade smear a bloody cross on their roofs so NATO planes would know to avoid them.

NATO rejected the suggestion as "too Jewish."

God Sends Pissquick a Message

Colonel: Mr. President, I have good news and bad news.

Clinton: Tell me.

Colonel: Senator Inhofe's plane has gone down.
               His propellor fell off.

Clinton: Pissquick?
              Ha ha,
              Get out of here...

Colonel: I'm not kidding, Mr. President.

Clinton: ...don't you be teasin' me, now.

Colonel: I'm serious, Sir.

Clinton: Don't you be lying to me, Colonel.
              Tell me the truth.
              Did that really happen?

Colonel: It really happened, Mr. President.

Clinton: I want the real truth right now, dammit.
              If you're pulling my leg, I'll have you fried.

Colonel: Mr. President, his plane fell from the sky.

Clinton: I'm your Commander-In-Chief, Colonel.
              I want the truth, and I want it RIGHT now!
              Did this really happen?

Colonel: Yes, Mr. President, it did.

Clinton: Well, it couldn't have happened to a bigger prick.
            ...what's the bad news?

Colonel: He landed the plane safely.

Clinton: Son of a bitch...

Colonel: The FBI is looking into it.

Clinton: .....uhhhhh

Colonel: Yes Sir..?

Clinton: Did we do this?

Colonel: Mr. President!!!!!!!!
               Of course we did NOT "do this."

Clinton: I don't want to know anything about it.

Colonel: We didn't DO anything!

Clinton: Keep me out of this, no details - nothing.

Colonel: There's nothing to cover up, Mr. President.

Clinton: Is that what Hillary said to say?
              That's good.
              Hillary knows how to handle this stuff.

Colonel: Mr. President, there's nothing to "handle."
               We're not hiding anything.

Clinton: OK, fine, whatever Hillary says...

Great PigGirl Quotes

"There should be a law... unmarried minors who get pregnant
  should be FORCED to give up their baby for adoption."
       -- Doc Meng, ultra-right she-nazi

Gee, Doc Meng,
You right-wingers vascillate between no government at all
and government-in-your-uterus all-the-time.

Why is that?

If you were in charge long ago, baby Jesus would've been
raised by some other couple, instead of Mary and Joseph.

Why are you so anti-family, Doc Meng?

Have you seen the new Roger Clinton?
He's media savvy now.

He's been through the "grooming" process.
He doesn't say anything that's too controversial.
He's been doing Larry King and Herendo Revolver.

I don't like the "new" Roger Clinton.
He's waaaay too polite for my tastes.

He should be on TV saying "Tom Delay is an evil cock-sucker."
Let the White House disavow his remarks the next day,

...if they disagree.

Why the hell is Roger holding back?
If my brother was Bill Clinton, and I went on the talk shows?

...you better have somebody sharp on that censor button.

Great False Quotes

"That was no tornado.
  That was God taking a wrecking ball to our town."
      -- Bob Hawkins, OKC tornado survivor, from USA Today

If we ask God to protect us,
and He sends a wrecking ball instead,
in all seriousness,
we should remain silent?
...we should just worship harder, right?

Please, before I go...

If anyone has a clue how to explain how God "protected" the 200 people
on that plane in Little Rock but "had other plans for" those He took from
this Earth with torturous fire and suffocation, I'd like to hear your opinion.

Can you have it both ways?

You know, if you look at the hard science of this deal, and look at
the superstition that's been handed down for hundreds of years,
you begin to get a clue that this "ghost business" is bullshit.

The "invisible, undetectable" beings who keep the secret score?
How much did we tithe today?
Only 10 percent?
Don't we WANT to go to Heaven?

Did we "handle" the devil today?
And if we did, did we get any on our hands?

Did we lust after our neighbor's goods?
How about your neighbor's wife?
Have you seen her when she sunbathes by the pool?

Did you know, if you're Catholic, and you notice some cute gal
in her swimming suit and you say to yourself,
"Boy, I'd pay $5 to watch her lick an ice cream cone,"
that's the same as cold-blooded murder for Catholics?
It's the dreaded "mortal sin," this ice cream "crime."

When I was a kid, if you ate a cheeseburger on Friday
it was as bad as shooting the Pope on Sunday.

George Carlin said it first:
"Meat may be legal on Fridays now, but I guarantee
  there's STILL people in Hell doing time on a meat rap."


...I can't remember why I defected.

Here we go again...

All this Republican whining about how Clinton has disarmed
our military is "a bunch of hooey," as the Indiana Spud says.

Clinton has never refused to sign a military appropriations
bill that was sent to him by this Republican congress.


If our military needs money, why don't the right-wing scrotes
send him a bill and dare him to veto it?

Our military always had enough weapons when the Democrats
controlled congress, so what's the Republicans problem?

Sounds like a issue for Campaign 2000.

Open Line BartCop


If you rent a car in Tel Aviv, do you get unlimited mileage?

ha ha

That's a good one.
Where are you going to drive, Beirut, Baghdad or Tehran?

Just when you thought it was safe,
just when you thought those wild-ass liberals had FINALLY learned
their lesson about smaller government, Ultra-leftist-stalinist-leninist
Bill Clinton has called for federal legislation that would lower the
acceptable blood-alcohol level for drivers from .10 to .08.

You watch.

Pigboy and the GOP will come out for MORE drunk drivers
since Clinton wants fewer of them.

I don't think Gore could lose this next election if he tried.

Great Bag O' Hairspray Quotes

"I am NOT a politician."

-- The very stiff Mrs. Dole, May 25

I agree, Bag O'

(You gotta watch these Republicans.
  They'll trick you with the truth.)

The Chinese Embassy bombing?
They reported four dead, including two journalists.

So, it's a net dead of two, right?

Fuck the press.

To hear Bill Bennett tell the tale...
Jesus Christ died on the cross for one reason only:

To protect our sacred right to bear assault weapons.

Bill Bennett is four-star general in the Ditto-Monkey Army.
That bastard is still smoking, too.

ha ha

I don't know how Bill Bennett can claim to be some moral icon.
I, BartCop, don't consider myself a moral icon,
and I never even raped a college coed in 1966.

Funny how Bill Bennett, considered an icon by the
wild-eyed pistol-waving city goats, would even presume
to claim the moral highground over the most common ground slug.

I, BartCop, have never been accused of rape.


I, BartCop, have never been accused of rape.
Can Bill Bennett say the same?
Yet, ...Bill Bennett is my moral superior?

ha ha

...which brings us to more Open Line BartCop:

>Question from Papax7

(my favorite religio-nut)


(If you visit, be polite.)

>BartCop, explain yourself.
>From RL-LNW Volume 142

>Bill Bennett said:
>I guarantee you if Cassie Burnow, the girl who was asked,
>"Do you believe in God?" and she said, "Yes," and then was
>blown away - if she and her friends had been walking through
>school carrying Bibles, and saying, "Hail the Prince of Peace,
>King of Kings," they would be hauled to the principal's office.
 -- Bill Bennett, America's moral leader, on Meet the Catholic

>BartCop, here are some press releases that back him up:

>Junior High Student Fights for Bible Club
>July 3, 1996
>(Lombard, Ill.) - Michael Cooney is fighting a historic
>battle for religious freedom in public schools. Michael
>wanted to hold an after hours Bible study at Jackson High
>School, but was prevented by school officials.

(He sent half a dozen examples like that one.)

Papax7, my old friend, I'm going to go easy on you.
Oh sure, I could do a Level-Three Dismantle on you,
but let me give you a free lesson in winning an argument:

First thing you do is take away the unnecessary words.
Bennett said they were "hauled" to the principal's office.
They weren't "invited," they were "hauled."
"Hauled" is a form of arrest or physical force.

And what were their crimes?

"speaking God's name?" and "carrying a Bible?"

You can't get arrested for "carrying" a Bible or "speaking" God's name.
It just doesn't happen.

Bill Bennett knows that.
Bob Dole knows that.
The American people know that.
You ought to know that.

That's what makes Bill Bennett a goddamn liar,
and that's why you are ...mistaken.

Next time somebody makes a wild, bullshit charge against
a liberal, take out most of the words and see what's left.

Besides, taking action to "prevent" a Bible class isn't
the same as being arrested for speaking.

No charge, old buddy...

Senator Vows to Block All Clinton Nominations

June 9, 1999

Senator James Inhofe (R-Pissquik) promised Tuesday to hold up all
presidential nominations in opposition to President Clinton...



It's so embarrassing to be from Oklahoma...

Open Line BartCop

>1. The stated purpose of the war in Yugoslavia is to
>make Kosovo safe for the return of the Albanian refugees.
>NATO is knocking out the electricity. This does not effect
>the Serb military. This effects only Serb civilians.
>By knocking out the electricity, NATO is attacking civilians.

>Why is NATO terrorizing* the Serb civilians in a war that
>is only supposed to be against the Serb military?

>*If you think this is too strong a word, convince me that
>huddling in a darkened city while bombs fall all around
>won't induce terror.


>2. Why is Clinton defying the War Powers Act?

1. Milo's army is going door-to-door, killing the men,
raping the women, stealing everything and burning homes,
...and you think Bill Clinton is terrorizing people?

It's easy to say "that's wrong," if you don't propose an alternative scenario.
If "nothing" is the right thing to do, please re-read the above paragraph.

If you like ground troops, compare that option to the "no dead" policy
that Lucky Bill has used in Kosovo.
Is there a third alternative?

2. Because he can.
Who's going to call him on it?
The Republicans?

ha ha

If they think Clinton committed a crime,
they can always impeach him - ha ha

Clinton's foreign policy has been wreckless.

Clinton is a genius.
America's first no-dead war.
The first just-air-power victory, as I predicted 6 weeks ago.

>From RL-LNW Vol 142:

>You watch:

>Clinton is going to re-write the rules of war.
>I'll bet he stops this genocide without ground troops.
>...and he may pull it off with no American dead.

You can't bet against Clinton - ever.
Bill Clinton - War Hero
...and the GOP is seething with hate because he pulled it off.

ha ha

Eat it, GOP.

Old Business

That really killer milk chocolate I mentioned?
They have a website.


It's called "Break-Up" milk chocolate.
If you're a chocolate fanatic, this is Heaven.
Wait, it's better than Heaven, because it exists.

Use your Visa card.

Mail Bag

From: Shelshka

Subject: Conversing with you is pointless.

You've already shown yourself unwilling to even attempt understanding
an opposing viewpoint, or to argue your points on their merits.
Instead you depend solely on personal attacks and ridiculous hyperbole,
written with all of the subtlety and finesse of a bulldozer.
Grade school children can argue with more complexity than I've seen from you.


Dear Shelshka,

Your spelling was very good.

A joke not good enough for RL-LNW
(works best with willowtalk.exe)

Since the last issue, O.J. has gained custody of his kids.
(Not Uncle OJ Watts, he'd never have custody of his kids.)

I'm talking about O.J. Simpson.
C'mon, isn't it time we give O.J. a break?
He's trying his best to behave.

I can't speak for all of you, but I must say that BartCop-ism is built on forgiveness,
compassion and giving the cold-blooded, murdering bastard the benefit of the doubt, if possible.

In the words of O.J. himself,

"I will do my best to rise to the occasion.
I must become a father-slash-mother to my two kids."

Let's have a "job well done" for Jesse Jackson, for doing what
everybody said couldn't be done: freeing our three soldiers.
It's my guess Milo read Volume 141:

>I suggest we give Milo an ultimatum:
>We want our boys back by August 5th.
>There's your goddamn End game, GOP:
>And we won't come back till it's glowing over there.

...welcome home, boys
No thanks necessary.

We at  bartcop.com  appreciate the job our men in uniform are doing,
even if the "Blame America first" Republicans ridicule you.

Next up for Jesse is a trip to Austin to see if he can
free George W. Butch from the governor's mansion.

Did you know that 1972 was the last year when a Butch or a Dole
wasn't on the Republican's list o' candidates for the White House?
That's seven times in a row for a Butch or a Dole.

Looks like they're going to continue this odd, senseless string.
The same old, tired ideas and straddles.

Where can I buy some stock in the Democratic Party?

Now that he's lost weight, Pigboy is doing fat jokes.

Poor bastard, teased all his life, is now expanding his cheap-ass bullying to inflict fat jokes
on people who don't make $20,000,000 each year and can't afford a personal chef
like the Incredible Pigboy has.

He said Jerry Nadler, the wide guy who Senator Putzhead called Jerry Waddler,
was so fat that he could be named as a country when they re-define the boundaries in Serbia.
Pigboy, you're such a shit.

Rush Limba is the biggest, no-class whore in America.
I wish I'd done more fat jokes about him.

Oh, well...

He'll always be a lying, nazi whore.

Open Line BartCop

>If Rush is a Nazi, then you are...?

>J&B Dixon

I guess the short answer is, "not."

I don't really think Rush is a full-blown German nazi.
However he seems to lean that way when it comes to blacks, gays, gypsies, teachers
and intellectuals, which are the same groups Hitler hated and tried to destroy.

In truth, I think Rush is a greedy, opportunistic ho.
He makes millions by saying things that the other maddogs "don't have the courage to say,"
like comments about Chelsea Clinton being "the White House dog."

Koresh, he's so brave...

It doesn't matter if it's true, or even responsible.
The wilder he talks, the more people listen.
If demos and repubs got along, Rush would lose money.
Rush makes his millions by dividing America.

Even with allllllllllllllll those millions, he'll STILL whore for a furnace filter, a mattress, tile cleaners etc.
He doesn't need the money.
He can't possibly ever spend the money he's "earned."
He's a greedy ho who needs more and more and more money.

Granted, "lying whore" might be more accurate, but who started the "nazi" name-calling?
Can you guess?

Besides, it's a joke.
I'm not trying to change anyone's mind.
You're supposed to laugh when you read this stuff.
If you only remember one thing, remember this:

Nobody is paying me millions to fabricate an opinion.
What I'm saying may be wrong, but I'm nobody's whore.

Can Rush say that?

Thanks for writing.
Most of the mail I get from Rush fans is incomprehensible.
You did good.


I miss Phil Hartman.

Just a quick reminder about the genius of Bill Clinton.

1. His Sec of Defense is a Republican.
2. His Sec of State is best friends with the Chairman of
    the Foreign Relations Committee, Jesse Helms (R-Neanderthal)

Except for the truly insane, like Sen Pissquik (R-Asshole)
his is invulnerable from criticism on foreign military stuff.

Recently, Pigboy announces the "breaking story" that the
Pentagon has ordered 9,000 purple heart medals into production.

Pigboy figures that's proof that we're sending 50,000 men into
combat, and he screams that story for three hours.

What do you think Milo is thinking?

ha ha

He hears Pigboy's warning and caves in.
Bill Clinton ends this war with a press release.

...easily the smartest president we've had.

Great, Great Pissquick Quotes

"The Kosovo refugees, in spite of the fact it is a horrible thing that some 3,000 of them
have lost their lives, still when you look at the refugees, I was shocked to find out,
that they are very well off, considering they are refugees," said Inhofe.
"Kids are all wearing Nikes and were very well dressed."
  -- Jim Pissquick Inhofe (R-Dumberthanhammeredshit)

Sure, Pissquick.
Dad's dead, Mom and Sis were raped, and we're homeless, but I'm happy because I have Nike's?
Pissquik, you so crazy, you make Don Nickels look sane.

Old Business

>From last issue...

>Long-Awaited Quotes

>"Kenneth Starr is a pussy who doesn't have the balls to
> put my client on trial again - I'd LOVE to see him try."
>-- Susan McDougal attorney Mark Garegos, Slayer of Starr,

Starr caved on May 25.
He's decided not to pursue Susan McDougal or Julie Hyatt Steele.
If Starr had any brains, or scruples, he wouldn't have pursued
this pointless witchhunt from the start.

Goodbye, Kenny.

We lost "Homicide," the best damn show on television.
That hurt.

NBC said they couldn't afford the Emmy-winning show anymore
because they could save $4,000,000 a year by producing shit
instead of the highest-quality show ever to light up the tube.

Oh, sure, they could afford to give Paul Reiser and Helen Hunt $1,000,000
every damn week for that once-funny show, but the show that set the
standard for other dramas can just wither and die.

NBC should be shot,

...and the murder should remain unsolved.

That photo that was attached to this e-mail?
Can you guess who it is?

Isn't THIS a hot babe?
Can you see her lava bubbling?
That look in her eye ain't cornbread.
She means BIDNESS, my man.

It's one of the pictures from the BartCop Collection.
It's our very own Doc Meng!
In a goddamn studded dog collar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Doc Meng is here to rock your world.
Doc Meng HAS something for you,

...something with fur on it.

Doc Meng isn't kidding around.
Koresh, I'd hate to come home tired some night,
and find this animal coiled and ready to pounce on me.

That backward glance, doing the pouty, pouty with the lips,
the hands-cuffed-over-her-head fantasy,
revealing a bondo/sado/macho thing...

Koresh, she's so dirty...

Laura Schlessinger...

Doing the pouty-pouty,
ha ha

Doc Meng...

With her "take me" posing,

Doc Meng...

...wearing a dog collar!!!

Doc Meng?
Is that really a dog collar?
Is that what I'm looking at?
Are my eyes lying, Doc Meng?

Doc Meng?!!!!!!!!!!!!

Presenting yourself in bondage for Ol' BartCop?
Sorry, Doc Meng.

I'm a married man.

ha ha

Some of us have morals, you phoney slut.

Doc Meng, in the dog collar,

ha ha

Cain't stand it no mo,

Doc Meng!
Can you roll over?

Arf! Arf!
Doc Meng!

Arf! Arf!

ha ha

fucking ha ha ha

Doc Meng, can you shake my hand?
ha ha
Good girl, Doc Meng.

Doc Meng, ...no licking!

I can't stand how funny this is

Doc Meng, fetch the paper,

ha ha

Can you play dead?

ha ha

Doc Meng, in a goddamn dog collar.

Swear to Koresh,

If anybody ever got some tittie-shot, dog-collar pictures of me,
I think I'd just go ahead and blow my friggin' brains out.
I can see the headline now:

"Knuckledrag Funnyboy Shoots Self"

ha ha

...somebody pinch me.

This CAN'T be this funny!

Doc Meng, my submissive slave...
Doc Meng, my oh-so-willing captive...
Doc Meng, in her dog collar, doing sex tricks for ol' BartCop,


ha ha

Heel, Doc Meng!!

ha ha

...and, you know,
if little Laura had just kept her legs together,
and if little Laura had just kept her panties on,
nobody on Earth could poke fun at her for being a cheap tramp and a whore,

...but in the reality we live in, it's "poke" time.





We must remember that facts mean things.

Dr. Laura's privates are available on MANY websites, including the someday-we'll-have
bartcop.com  which will feature photographs of her most private parts not to satisfy the
purient interests of oversexed, masturbatory teenage boys.

No, none of that.
Not from me.

I offer these titty-pics as a First Amendment statement that illustrates the "opinion-for-rent"
political philosophy of the goofy, silly slut known as Doc Meng.

Since she chose to enter the political forum with her relentless attacks on the moral values
of the majority of Americans who voted our president in, her values have become fair game
and since nobody has pictures of BartCop's penis, I hereby claim the moral high-ground,
once again from Dr. Toxic Harpy.

I, BartCop, claim the high road from the money-driven whores,
the right-wing, white-supremecyst (cough) wood-ducks,
and those pre-disposed to selling,
and I use the word "selling" intentionally,
religio-insanity to the easily fooled.

Koresh help us...

By default, I, BartCop,
am becoming this nation's moral authority.


But I feel a little better when I look at Doc Meng, naked,
posing like a cheap crack whore in her little S/M dog collar.

Hey, Doc Meng..

Take me to court and claim that's not you!

ha ha

I'll even give you my defense strategy right now:

I get your she-nazi ass under oath and ask you,
"Is that you, Doc Meng, in the pictures?"

Remember, Doc, ewe're under oath,

ha ha

Meng, you deserve every damn bit of this,
Take it like a man, you slut.

Open Line BartCop

>Why are right-wing assholes AGAINST pretend guns in movies,
>but are in FAVOR of real guns in real life?

Damn, that's good.
...and I don't have an answer for it, but you're right.

A movie with guns is bad for our kids,
but our kids should have guns in real life?

Must be that "creation logic" again.

Jesus Heche Christ!

They didn't learn anything from Monica.
They didn't learn anything from the '98 elections.
They didn't learn anything from Newt's resignation.

They want Clinton's cock.
They want it bad.

They don't mind that China got our secrets.
China's not the enemy.
Bill Clinton is the enemy.

What's important, is to link China to Clinton's prick.
It's OK if we die from a Chinese nuclear attack,
as long as Clinton's cock takes the blame.

This is GOP suicide attempt number 139.

They said "Only a TRAITOR would give China our nuke secrets,"
then it turns out Reagan and Butch gave it to them, too.

Jesus Heche Christ!

It's OK if Reagan gave our W-88 warhead technology to 'em,
but blame Clinton for not KNOWING Reagan did it?

Isn't that what's important here?

Reagan/Butch gives technology to China,
...and we blame Clinton?

Our nuclear annihilation via China comes second to finding out
if Clinton might've parsed some words in his Meet the Catholic
interview with Tim the Whore.

A-fuckin' gain.....

We don't care if we all die.

Just Get Clinton!

How many times have I proven that they'd gladly give
their careers, their lives, their families
(Henry Hyde
and Bob Barr
and Snoot Gingrich
and Bob Livingston
and Helen Chenoweth
and Uncle OJ Watts
and Don Nickles, who'd let his kids wait in a goddamn burning building
so he could run to the Capitol and try to reverse the
election results of 1996 with his impeachment vote,
and Dan Burton
and David Duke
and all the other GOP hippocrites.

Don't forget,
The Squirrelly Bug Man picked Hastert because he was fourth-in-line
and hadn't charged any hookers to his American Express!!!
...not recently anyway, so he was safe.

Hastert was fourth in line.
The three above him not only cheated on their wives/boyfriends,
but they know people have pictures of them with their whores,
so they installed Hastert with Bug Man's hand up his ass.

Poor Denny...

He just wanted a little piece of history.
He just wanted a mention in the big book.
They came to him and said "You can be your own man."
But now, Denny's sleepin' with the Bug Man,
...he's in the Bug Man's pocket.

His back pocket...

You got zip if you're in the Bug man's back pocket.
Take a moment a feel bad for Denny Hastert.
Seemed like a decent guy, but he never knew what hit him.

So, now we have the Cocks Committee.

All these bullshit, penny-a-pound politicians who never did an
honest day's work in their damn lives are currently trying their
139th coup attempt with this nutty China-gate crap.

You want to know the truth?
You want to hear the truth from someone who's not getting paid
to spread some bullshit lies for some phoney cause?

I'll tell you the goddamn truth right here:

Bill Clinton is the first Internet president.
He's the first president who's had a lying, nazi whore build
an entire career around 15 hours of lies every week.

He's the first president to have to deal with a prick like Drudge.
Drudge makes up a story, and Fox News and the GOP say it's a fact.

He's the first president to have an opposition party so fixated
on destroying him that they've repeatedly put their own careers
in jeopardy for the CHANCE to stick a shiv in him.

He's the first president to watch a Supreme Court go completely crazy
and condone endless, frivolous civil suits against the hardest-working
president we've ever had.

He's the first president to have billionaires openly fund
their vendettas against him using the whores in the press.

David Brock has admitted that Richard Melon Scarfe paid him $80,000
to interview the Arkansas State policemen who have admitted that Scarfe
paid them another $80,000 to fabricate endless stories about Clinton's cock.

(Blood pressure now 185/140)

Without that shit Scarfe, there's no Brock.
Without Brock, there's no Paula Jones.
Without Paula Jones, there's no stupid, stupid, stupid
Supreme Court to rule that the president HAS no privacy,
even when it's a FACT that his political rivals are PAYING
"journalists" to fabricate evidence against him to seed
the goddamn civil suits in the first place.

Clinton's the first president to have 24-hour, 7-day forever cable TV channels to kick around
the very, very, very darkest Pigboy-inspired scenarios about Clinton's motives and then
run hourly specials on "What IF the charges are true?"

That shit passes for journalism as the millennium turns.

He's the first president to have every, single goddamn word taken apart, letter-by-letter
so they can look for "secret" meanings and then get back on their cable shows and speculate
about the dark, dark possibilities allllllllllll over again.

He's the first president to lose Secret Service protection.
His personal bodyguards were forced to rat him out, which
is something that the other 42 presidents never had to face.
Think how different history might be if every president had to face baseless civil suits
funded by his enemies and have his personal bodyguards testify against him.

Think what we'd know about Iran-Contra if the stupid, stupid, stupid Supreme Court ruled
that Butch's agents had to testify where he was in 1980 when his opponents accused him of
flying to Paris to meet with Hezbollah so they could delay the release of our hostages,
which put that forgetful idiot Red-Ink Reagan in the White House.

Without Reagan's $4,000,000,000,000 spending binge,
the Clinton Miracle would've added thousands more dollars to every taxpayer's pocket.

But noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

Reagan and Butch got away with bloody fucking murder.
They weren't hounded by a stupid, stupid, stupid Supreme Court.
So all Butch had to do was pardon his co-conspirators on
Christmas Eve to bury the truth forever.

And you know why?

Because the stupid, stupid, stupid Supreme Court ruled again and again that any issue
that involved Clinton's cock would automatically be a ruling against him.
What a bunch of pussies we have on our Supreme Court.

Maybe Clarence "Slappy" Thomas IS one of the smarter ones.
The court is without balls, brains or courage.
They can eat me.

So, ...we're left with the Cocks Committee.
The Cocks Report is coup attempt #139.

The Republicans haven't learned a goddamn thing.

Arf! Arf!

ha ha

Email Bartcop

Privacy Policy
. .