Vol 160 - Posah-Tai-Vo

When me?


I think most people, even conservative Republicans, would say that
Robin Williams is a great comedian, and a great dramatic actor, too.

I admit I haven't seen every show Robin Williams has ever been in,
but has he ever done anything as good as his guest shot on "Homicide?"
I think it ran right after the Super Bowl one year.
I just watched the rerun on Court TV.

If Robin Williams has something better in his file,
I'd sure like to see it...

Tony Snow - Less Racist Than Most?

If you get Rush's show on tape-delay, check Tony Snow Monday.
At 26 minutes past in the third hour, Snow said he was fired from
the Bush White House for "sticking up for race relations."

Koresh, I'd like to hear the back story on that.
If anybody has a clue, let us in on the whole story.

Butch Accused by Stripper

According to always-honest Tony Snow, a 35-year old stripper claims
she just finished a 18-month affair with our Governor Blow Monkey.
(The issue of cocaine was not addressed in the Snow report.)

She says he was porking her from late 1996 until June of last year.
She told the credible National Enquirer that she met Butch at a hotel
in Texas and when he saw her micro-mini skirt, "Butch combusted."

Tony Snow says this story can't possibly be true, because if it was,
"that would mean George Butch was the stupidest man in America."

ha ha

Tony, you just now finding that out?

You Gotta Love That Hate

Kato Burn, I just love her.

She's got Dan Quayle's brainse,
She's mean-spirited like the Pigboy,
and she's got a iron heart like Snoot Gingrich.

Check this out, from Saturday's Capitol Gang

(For the speaker-impaired, she said:
"The public has GOT to be completely fed up with Al Gore,
 and if they aren't now, they certainly would be by next fall.")

First of all, she uses a Rush tactic:
"I guarantee you "X" is happening right now, and if it's not, it soon will be."

You know what you get when that tactic is allowed?
"I guarantee Clarence "Slappy" Thomas puts hampsters up his ass,
 and if he doesn't yet, he soon will."

I mean, c'mon...
Can you vague that up a little more?

Even if she hates Gore, which is obvious, why can't she pretend
she's a lady and say something like, "America is yearning for new faces,"
instead of "America is completely fed up with Gore."

As long as their hate is blinding them,
I think we'll continue winning.

Question for Governor Butch

You say you are a compassionate conservative.
You say you've let Jesus Christ into your heart.
You've also said some of us wouldn't get it.

I'm one of those who doesn't get it.

As Texas Governor, you have ordered many people killed.
Was Jesus is your heart when you signed their death warrants?

Is that what Jesus would've done?
Murdered His sons and daughters to placate His political base?
Jesus Christ was a victim of the death penalty.
Do you really think He's eager to see you use it on a reformed Christian?

Governor, seriously...

If you don't look into your heart
and do what Jesus would've done
when the subject is life and death,
for what issues do you look into your heart
and try to do as Jesus would've done?

Tax cuts?
Ethanol subsidies?

Letter to the Editor, Dallas Morning News

The media refuses to challenge anything Dubya Bush says.
1. Dubya claims he has "foreign policy experience" dealing with Mexico.

    Sure, George. Tell us what your leadership and experience have done
    to slow the tide of illegal drugs flowing into Texas from from Mexico.

2. Dubya brags he's the "only candidate to sign two tax cuts into law."

    My taxes haven't gone down, have yours?
    Dallas sales tax remains at 8.5 percent, and county taxes are up 25 percent,
    and my health insurance rate has doubled under Governor Bush.

3. Dubya brags he's the "only candidate with executive office experience."
    If running Texas requires so much managerial skill and political savvy,
    how can Lt. Governor Rick Perry do his job and yours when you're
    cramming,  fund-raising or traveling more than 50 percent of the time?

Phyllis G,

Secret Weapon

bartcop.com  has learned VP Gore has a secret weapon if he falls in the polls.
Bill Clinton has agreed to help his friend by going on Larry (Eight-Wives) King
and taking unscreened calls for a full hour in late October of next year.

When America hears the Niagra of unvarnished hatred and extremism, they'll be
reminded why superstitious, whites-only cavemen can't be trusted with power.

Do you really want a Kenneth Starr in your bedroom?
And do you really want Linda Tripp to tape you and your spouse?
And do you really want the House Managers grasping at your cock?

Letter to the Knuckledrag Daily

Time to Give Up on Hubble

The Hubble Space telescope, because of bad design, was a piece of space junk.
It was the most expensive piece of junk ever launched into orbit,  and it has caused
nothing but problems since then.  NASA needs to give up on it and let it burn out.

Some Dittohead

Yeah, let's unplug our viewfinder into the origins of the universe.
After all, what would we do if it discovers something unbiblical?

Governor, have you read any books lately?


I like this next cartoon, just because it's so goddamn stupid.


...and this might be Cartoon of the Year

It Happened Again

Koresh, I hate when this happens.
Pigboy was being his boarish-ass self again this week.

Clinton said in an interview with Larry King:
"People should go about their normal lives as we near New Year's Eve,
 but if you see anything suspicious, please report it to the authorities."

Pigboy, always whining and never constructive, has been whaling for days:

"What does that mean, Mr. President?"
"What does 'suspicious' mean, Mr. President?"
"Give us a list, Mr. President!"
"First you say 'relax,' then you say 'report,' so which is the truth?"
"You've never been able to tell the truth, Mr. President."
"Remember Monica, Mr. President?"
"How can we trust anything you say, Mr. President?"
"Tell us, Oh, Great Leader, how we should act, Mr. President."
"Give is a script for the rest of our lives, Mr. President."
"Get on your high horse and order us around, Your Majesty.."

You know how he goes on and on beating a dead horse forever...
I knew what Clinton meant the very first goddamn second the words left his mouth,
and I'll bet every non-ditt with the brains to fart knew it, too.

If you're at an outdoor cafe, and you see two men leave a suitcase at
their table and jump in a cab, it wouldn't hurt to tell a policeman about it.

Would it?

Pigboy knows this is what Clinton meant - but he's whoring for money.
Pigboy would rather a few dozen people be killed than to, Koresh-forbid,
get on the safety bandwagon for a goddamn week and help save a few lives.

Rush could do his country a favor and move on to the next personal slur,
But noooooooooooooooooooooooo.

He can't cooperate with, "The Great Satan," because the McVeigh crowd
doesn't want cooperation, they want Rush to explain AGAIN how Clinton's
only goal is to destroy America and give the carcass to the Chi-Coms.

(Well, that and force homosexuality on your kids.)

So I'm watching Fox News.
You know Fox News, right?
That's where they have the slogan, "We Whore, You Call Us On It."

Fred Barnes, the brainless, dittohead, Rush-puppet is on their roundtable
and he starts repeating Pigboy's "highly-intelligent" whore-based question:

"The President says to relax, but report anything suspicious?
What in the world could he possible mean?" asked Barnes the Brainless.
"Does anybody have a clue?"

Fortunately, Chuck Woolsey, former CIA director and game show host was
on the roundtable with the usual Fox ditts who run the political gambit from A-B..
He said just yesterday, a street vendor noticed a package that had been left alone
on the street, contacted Israeli authorities, and they determined it was a pipe bomb,
so they took measures to destroy it safely and nobody was killed.
This is what Clinton was talking about and everybody knows it.

Once again, Pigboy's idiotic whore-rants set the agenda for the morning news shows.
Any stupid-ass question the Pigboy can think of, whether it makes sense or not,
gets repeated by the mindless parrots on the far right.

Why can't Fred Barnes think of his own stupid-ass, nonsense questions?
Why does Barnes need Rush to write his questions for him?
Can't Barnes think independently of the Pigboy?
Is there nobody in the GOP that can whore up a stupid question besides Rush?

Understand, please, I'm not naive.
I realize that Barnes and Pigboy need to make a living.
But the sad truth is they can make a better living if they put lives in jeopardy
than they can if they act like good citizens and decent human beings.

If they can ridicule and denigrate safety issues outlined by the president,
they can score the all-important red-meat points with the McVeigh crowd.

Besides, if a pipe bomb does go off, and dozens are killed or wounded,
they can just shift their baseless slurs one hundred and eighty degrees and claim,
"Clinton didn't protect America! He was only thinking of himself again."

If Clinton is against exploding pipe bombs, Rush, Barnes and Fox News
are going to knee-jerk themselves into being pro-exploding pipe bombs.
It's the nature of the whore.

Doesn't that make you sick?

Uncle O.J. Watts is leaving the all-white GOP, but not to worry.
Uncle Tom Delay is the black man's best friend.

Home for Christmas

The smell of turkey, dressing and Chinaco...
in the air at stately BartCop Manor.
Not sure why, but we ended up on the ESPN Classic channel,
watching the Life and Times of Muhammad Ali.

Just finished watching the Thrilla in Manilla.
The eighth round!
The fourteenth!
Both men, fighting their hearts out.

(Daman Wayans and Alan Grier would've liked this fight.
 Two manly men, all sweaty and glistening, fighting like champions.)

Since Ali was named Athlete of the Century by Sports Illustrated,
all the haters rose up to declare him "that cowardly nigger."

Who's more hated?
Ali or Clinton?

I was reminded of something historian Peter Benchloss said recently:
Clinton had a certain percent of built-in haters when he took the oath,
because he was a critic of the war in Vietnam.
Did Vietnam have a bigger critic than Ali?

Bill Clinton and Muhammad Ali.
Fighters or quitters?

E-Mail BartCop



If "being from a good political family" is a Republican's best asset,
why isn't Michael Reagan more qualified than The Cocaine Kid?

I don't know much about Mike Reagan, other than he's a nut,
but he's gotta be smarter than Butchie, and he's better at debates.

Besides, how is being the son of George Herbert Traitor Butch an asset?
Can we take a look at just a few of Senior's "accomplishments?"

1. President Butch told us Clarence Thomas was the most qualified judge
    in the entire country to get a lifetime appointment to the Supreme Court?
    Behind closed doors, Republicans admit Clarence is a joke.
    That proves Butch didn't take his responsibilities seriously.

2. President Butch told us Dan Quayle was the most qualified man
    in the entire country to lead us if Butch pulled a Mama Cass on us.
    GOP voters proved that was a joke when they dumped him this year.
    That proves Butch made a serious mistake choosing Dan Quayle.

3. President Butch sent a Telex to Saddam Hussein saying America had
    no intention of intervening of Saddam wanted to take over Kuwait.
    Today, thousands suffer from Gulf War Syndrome because Butch
    didn't have the goddamn brains to out-play Saddam like Clinton would've.
    That tells us Butch doesn't have the brains to play "Chutes and Ladders,"
     much less a role on the world stage.

4. VP Butch sent 5500 Stinger missles to Islamic Jihad, then lied about it,
     then stonewalled the investigation, then falsely testified that he was
     "out of the loop," when Schultz and Weinburger testified he wasn't, then finally
     pardoned his co-conspirators before the trial, so the true facts abou the
     extent of their crimes would remain forever buried.
     That proves Butch is a traitor.

 (And we should condemn Clinton for trying to hide a blow job?)

5. He promised he wouldn't raise taxes.
    He swore he would never raise taxes,
    then he stabbed America in the back.
    That proves he's a liar who can't be trusted to keep his word..

If someone asked Governor Blow Monkey if he agreed with
his Daddy's decisions on these five points, I'll bet he'd say,

"I'm the governor of the second-biggest state, with the 11th-largest
 economy in the world, and my leadership is proven."


Tho it's been said many times, many ways,

Merry Koreshmas,

from  Ol' BartCop and Mrs. BartCop

The best Christmas ever?


I need your help.
I need your assistance.
This is a little unusual, so I'm asking cooperation from liberals and conservatives.

I'll bet you've gotten lots of spam mail asking you to promote a web site, right?
I need you to do just the opposite.
I need you to help me make  bartcop.com  less famous.

There's a website called "Enchanted Forest" that appears to be child oriented.
They ran a survey that asked for, "Favorite Candy Bar" and "Favorite Cartoon," etc.

When they asked for "Favorite website,"  bartcop.com  came in 4th.
Matter of fact, it came in three places above those lame losers over at nsync.com,
but this is no time for bragging.
(ha ha  - nsync.com - eat my fucking dust)

Pokemon.com had the Number One rated site.

But - seriously, that's not right.

I don't think children should be reading this stuff.
Do you?

Good God, it reminds me of that Star Trek episode where some ship left an
Untouchables book on a developing planet and the whole society turned tommygun.
We don't want a whole generation of kids growing up with bartcop ingrams.
Do we?
C'mon, it's Koreshmas - help save some kid from turning out like BartCop.

bartcop.com  is a little like doing tequila shots or smoking pot.
You need to have your brain fully assembled before you try to scramble it.

Do me, and those poor kids, a big favor:
Write to the Enchanted Forest and tell them  bartcop.com  is not for children.

I'm asking my friends to help write a wrong, and I'm asking my enemies
to help stop the spread of  bartcop-ism in our young school children.

Help me get less famous with these kids.

I've never used the word "please" before, at least not seriously.
Please write the Enchanted Forest and demand that they
refrain from advertising  bartcop.com

Consider it your Koreshmas present to the future of America.

That Cuban Kid...

ha ha

This son-of-a-bitch isn't going anywhere.
This 6-year old has his own motorized all-terrain vehicle.
He's riding his Jeep, playing video games and going to McDonald's every day,
and the little bastard can have a goddamn pony if he wants one.
In Cuba, all he had was a 4-dollar-a-day job rolling tobacco leaves.

America is such a great place.

If he was 10 years older, we'd seduce him with a sea of alcohol,
a mountain of gold and his choice of Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders.

Aren't we happy that this kid will grow up with Coke, Levi's and MTV?
How long before the NRA buys this kid his own Glock?

I need a drink...



Santa, ...please?

I'd like to thank Mike Ditka for the first Christmas present.

Mike, this shot of Chinaco is for you, Buddy.

 Subject: Pinhead

 How can you be such a pinhead when it comes to religion?
 Your explanation of that Top 10 most influential people of all time
 was riddled with inaccuracy regarding the religious positions of
 many of the people on the list.

 The only guy on your list that wasn't at least a theist was Mark,
 and look what happened to his theories!
 As for your statement on Darwin ("kryptonite to religion"), what a laugh!
 Darwin's theory is foolish and completely without empirical evidence
 (and isn't THAT what science is all about).

 Dennis Courtney

Mr. Courtney,

Dude, some of that was an attempt at humor.
You didn't really think Isaac Newton owned the Mint Casino in Las Vegas.
Did you?
The Mint was built in the 1960's and Newton died in 1699, so you're right,
Isaac Newton never owned the Mint in Las Vegas, you caught me.


I think people are starting to send in ridiculous Monkey Mail
just so their letter will be read by millions of  people.



Missouri Supreme Court Solves Y2K Problem

If you lose power at midnight on New Year's Eve, no problem.
Just contact the Missouri Supreme Court and see if they have
anything you can burn in your fireplace to keep warm till morning.

You see, they've shredded the United States Constitution

This isn't a gag.

Cryptic Monkey Mail


From: vhernandez@chanuteks.com

 Subject:        fu q

fu q,

April Hernandez

Have a Concussion?
No, thanks.
I've had several.

Troy Acheman has Deion Sanders to his left and Rocket Ismail to his right
and the frail old man can't complete a pass for a first down?

Troy, hang up your pads.
You don't want to become another Steve Largent.

Biography Channel's Top Ten Men of the Millenium

10. Galileo - His bold advocacy of the Copernican theory brought severe
      ecclesiastical censure. He was forced to retract before the Inquisition,
      and was sentenced to indefinite imprisonment.  Among his discoveries
      were the law of uniformly accelerated motion towards the Earth, the parabolic
      path of projectiles, and the law that all bodies have weight.
     That makes him bad.
      The validity of his scientific work wasn't formally recognized by the Catholic Church
      until 1993.

9. Copernicus - The founder of modern astronomy.
    His Revolutions of the Celestial Spheres, which put forward the radical, secular
    theory that the Earth rotates daily on its own axis and annually about the Sun,
    had a hostile reception from the Church when published in 1543. It challenged the
    tortured Catholic reasoning that the Earth is the center of the universe.
    That makes him bad.

8. Einstein - Molecular theorist and liberal, anti-violence peacenik was way too smart
    to believe that the invisible ghost in the sky might grant your wishes if you give enough
    of your money to the white guy in the black robe.
    That makes him bad.

7. Karl Marx -  Wrote the Communist Manifesto, which attacked the state as
    the instrument of oppression, and religion as an ideology of the capitalist class.
    That makes him bad.

6. Columbus - Accidentally proved the world was round, causing acute
    embarrassment to the flat-Earth teachings of the Roman Catholic Church
    That makes him bad

5. William Shakespeare - Wrote 126 sonnets to a "fair young man."
    That means he might've been gay and that makes him double bad.
4. Charles Darwin - Kryptonite to organized religion.
    The only person we're sure is in Hell.

3. Martin Luther -  Religious reformer, he spent three years in an Augustinian  monastery,
    and was ordained in 1507. His career as a reformer began after a visit to Rome in 1511,
    where he was angered by the sale of indulgences.
    Note: Internet Scribe BartCop took up this cause in the late 20th century,
      Ted Kennedy,  please call your office.
    In 1517 he drew up 95 theses on indulgences, which he nailed to the Wittenburg church door.
    Note: BartCop published 160 theses on the Internet before the third millenium began.
    Violent controversy followed. He was summoned to Rome to defend himself, but did not go.
    He then began to attack the papal system more boldly, and publicly burned the papal bull
    issued against him. An order was issued for the destruction of his books; he was forced
    to sustain himself only on a Diet of Worms, and was put under the ban of the VRWC.
    In 1525 he married Kathy Bora, a former nun.
    That makes him kinky.

2. Isaac Newton - Physicist and mathematician, seduced by a falling apple, wrote the law of
    gravitation, a law Rush Limba painfully obeyed for several decades. He studied the nature
    of light, concluding that white light is a mixture of colors which can be separated by refraction,
    which enabled him to create the first reflecting telescope. His work on gravitation, finally
    expounded in his famous 1687 work, The Mathematical Principles of Natural Philosophy.
    In 1696, he developed his more famous, How to Count Cards system and won the
    Mint Hotel and Casino, where he was a pit boss from 1699 until his death. Considered
    a "fancy-countin' boy," he was denounced by the Church for "all his fancy ideas."

1. Gutenberg - No doubt, the first Larry Flynt.  Guttenburg, regarded as the inventor
    of movable type, enabled the mass-production of  images of the female breasts.
    Between 1430 and 1444 he was in Strasbourg, Germany where he began working
    with printing. In 1448 he entered into partnership with Johann Fust, who financed a
    printing press. This partnership ended in 1455, when Fust sued him for repayment of
    the loan, and forced him to give up his machinery, leaving him ruined.
    His best-known book is the 42-line Bible, often called Gutenberg's Bible (c.1455)

    Two fancy boys with their big ideas, a peacenik, a commie, another fancy boy,
    a homosexual, Hellboy,  a heretic, a casino boss and the first pornographer were
    the Most Influential People of the Past 1,000 Years?

    ...and they were all enemies of the Church?

December 24, and 25, 1966

Dear Mom and Dad:

       Hi Mom.
      Well it is Christmas Eve in Vietnam. It sure doesn't feel or look like
Christmas yet---no snow.   G I's adjust to any situation even in Nam.
We will not forget our Savior's birth. It is my last Christmas away from home.
War doesn't seem to be far away.  Some how war and Christmas due not mix
but in Nam anything is possible. The USAF is flying combat missions today.
      Truces look good on paper but not here in Nam. There is no truce here,
just more hard work.  This is just a letter telling you how I feel about Christmas,
war and Nam. War is never funny. It is very hard time for me over here
missing you and dad.
      Why are we here? To fight and die for somebody, WHO ??? I am a little mad,
nobody told me that I would be fighting a war many miles away from home.
      For whom? Beats me . . . .

      I am working mids. So it will be a pleasant way to spend Christmas day.
      So, a Merry Christmas to all.

Love, Frank


Outrage of the Weak

"It's so sad about George W. Butch. The Republican Party had such high hopes
 for him.  We knew he was a nice guy, but it turns out that's all he is."

Former Quayle Chief of Staffe Bill Kristol was FIRED
from ABC's This Whore" for making that statement.
Why is ABC protecting Governor Blow Monkey?

I always thought Kristol was less-whore than most


Why did God make apes in His image?

Great Reform Party Quotes

 "People treat him like he's about to give the updated version
  of the Sermon on the Mount.  He's a disaster."

   -- Donald Trump on Bill Bradley

Oklahoma Values

Here in Knuckledrag, these apes are sooooo proud of their "Oklahoma values,"
as tho the people of Kansas and Texas were such uncivilized heathens.

Let me guess:

In Pennsylvania, they brag about "Pennsylvania values," as tho Ohio and
West Virginia were pockets of Devilhood?

The same goes for Florida and Minnesota.
It seems to me the only state that can be proud of their values is Utah.
No other state has values like Utah.

Everybody brags about their state like the others are such shit.
That reminds me of the polls they took during impeachment, and still today.

"Are your moral values higher than Bill Clinton's moral values?"

What horseshit!

People will always say, "Yes," because most people are scared little bunnies
who spend all day lying to themselves about how great and moral they are,
and how their state is so much more moral than the other "outlaw" states.

You watch - in this next election, these donkeys are all going to run on the
true "pick-any-state" values that made this country great.

It's all horseshit.

From: R-Gray

Subject: ebay


I saw this on ebay:

You are bidding on a pair of unique items.
These are standard Federal Bureau of Prisons orange jump-suits except
that they are bullet-proof. They both have the presidential seal on the back.
One suit has the name "Ron" embroidered above the right pocket, the other
has the name "George Sr."

These suits were created at the request of Lawrence Walsh, and were
declared government surplus after Bush granted pardons on Christmas eve.
Good Luck.

Auction ends in 4 days, 2 hours and 19 minutes

Monkey Mail


From:      VALANM@aol.com

Subject:  your web

I was snookered into your web site. I found it offensive and stupid with the
mentality of a retarded orange. Like most lib's you resort to name calling
and making fun of people you cannot debate with reason or logic.
Facts mean nothing and like Bill Clinton the truth rarely finds its way out of his
mouth. You ought to be ashamed of yourself. If this is a sample of lib
intelligence I'll vote conservative every time

    Only stupid people mock what they fail to understand. If you don't like
Limbaugh don't listen. If you have to criticize be man enough to do it with
facts, truth and reason, and not the worthless slop you put on your sight.
Get a life Bart, if you have something to contribute do so if not get
the hell out of the way.

The King of Hate

I'm going to give you most of a story, and see if you can find the irony.
It goes without saying that Pigboy is so blinded by his hatred for Clinton
that he will say the wildest things you've ever heard in an attempt to slur him.
This is a story about what Pigboy said Wednesday about the ruler of Libya.
Funny, the New York Whore Times and the Washington Whore Post and CNN
can't agree on how to spell his name, so I'm going with the spelling Moamar Ghadaffi.

Rush was trying to find a way to blame Clinton for the upcoming Y2K terrorist acts.
Rush played some audio of Ghadaffi saying that although he wasn't planning
any terrorist acts for Y2K, the United States must expect some terror because
it is the "most hated country in the world."

As always, Rush agrees with anybody who attacks the United States.

Rush said Ghadaffi was right, and then he quoted Christopher Hitchens,
the Vanity UnFair reporter who calls Clinton, "that fucking rapist" and he called
Mother Theresa and Nancy Reagan, "whores."  Hitchens says America's president,
"enjoys murdering innocent children around the world."

Of course, Rush agrees with him.

So, we have Rush quoting Hitchens and agreeing with Ghadaffi's quote that America is
"the most hated country in the world," in his never-ending attempts to hurt the president.
We have to undure some terror because Clinton is so trigger-happy?

Ok, we're going to stop for a moment and see if you detect the irony.
Did you find it yet?
I'll bet the older people get it, the ones who were paying attention 15 years ago.
The irony of this is,

see below,

keep going,

Using Hitchens/Pigboy terminology,

Ghadaffi's daughter was murdered by Ronald Reagan.

In the mid-eighties, Ghadaffi financed the bombing of some German nightclubs that were
frequented by American soldiers.  In an effort to convince him to stop that activity,
Reagan ordered Tripoli bombed. Our flyers were told specifically to bomb Ghadaffi's tent.
(I supported the military action.)

Instead of getting Ghadaffi, they accidentally killed his six-year old daughter.
Pigboy knows that, but he's so goddamn eager to slur Clinton,
he didn't use that diseased pea-brain of his to connect the dots.

Rush used Ghadaffi's Reagan-induced hatred to attack Clinton.
Rush doesn't mind harming Reagan if there's a chance it might harm Clinton, too.

Quoting Ghadaffi on why America is so hated, after Reagan ordered the hit that
killed Ghadaffi's daughter, is just another example of how Rush's hatred of Clinton
has clouded his severely stroke-riddled mind.

Marta, get your Pig to a doctor.

See, I Told You So

Why is everybody so upset with Atlanta Braves pitcher John Rocker?

From cnn.com

"New York's the most hectic, nerve-wracking city," Rocker said in the article.
"Imagine having to take the [No.] 7 train to the ballpark, looking like
 you're [riding through] Beirut next to some kid with purple hair, next to
 some queer with AIDS, right next to some dude who just got out of jail for
 the fourth time, next to some 20-year-old mom with four kids. It's depressing."

 As for the ethnic makeup, Rocker was just as caustic.

"I'm not a very big fan of foreigners," he said. "You can walk an entire block in
Times Square and not hear anybody speaking English.   Asians and Koreans and
Vietnamese and Indians and Russians and Spanish people and everything up there.
How the hell did they get into this country?"

Rocker also called a black man on his team, "a fat monkey."
...and everybody gets upset?



but that's the same shit Pigboy says every goddamn day on his hate show,
so why are we so upset that a pig-of-a-man from the south agrees with him?

Rocker is just being a loyal ditto-monkey, so why the uproar?
Rocker simply has "the courage to speak the truth," according to Pigboy.

He didn't bomb a daycare, like dittohead Tim McVeigh.
He didn't shoot up a high school, like those dittoheads in Littleton.
He didn't bomb a women's clinic like a "pro-lifer" dittohead does.
He didn't fire his AK-47 at the White House, like that dittohead from Denver.
He didn't rape the wives and daughters of his followers like the
"well-armed tax resistor" did in Waco, Texas

All John Rocker did was recite the Dittohead Creed.
So, why the uproar?

If Pigboy can spew his white-power, anti-foreigner hate fifteen hours a week,
why isn't John Rocker allowed to recite ditto-thinking in an interview?

I'll tell you something you didn't know - John Rocker is an American Indian.
You see, he MUST be, because he hates people that aren't natives.

Why, if Rocker wasn't a full-blooded Indian, he'd be a hypocrite.

Thank God for Rush Limba

This is the longest sound file I've ever posted.
It's almost five minutes, it'll take maybe ten to DL it.

This is the guy who called Rush, "a 700-pound, redneck nose-picker."
The guy pretty much let his true feelings fly, but you can tell he's an educated man and,
obviously, one of good taste.

If you like hearing Pigboy get flustered with the truth,
you could click this and read on while it loads

...by the way, this file cost me $70.

You have to like it.

A Joke for Santa

This Christmas, let's all blackmail Santa.
Tell Santa Claus if he doesn't bring you every damn thing you want this Christmas,
you're going to stop believing in him and go back to believing in organized religion.

ha ha
ha ha

I'm sorry,

ha ha
ha ha

Santa loves a good joke when he's working hard...

Having a bad week?
Lot of pressure on you lately?

Could be worse.
What if you were Kenneth Starr, with an approval rating of eleven percent?
That means 89 percent of Americans dislike you intensely.

What if you were Linda Tripp and had an approval rating of nine percent?
In her case, it means a whopping 91 percent of America wishes her harm.

Now, stay with me...

Your week hasn't been that bad.
Po' Kenny and Linda Tripp are living total nightmares right now.
Their lives must be living hell.
Just think about it - going to the grocery store, getting gas, buying a burger,
everywhere you look, ...you're recognized and despised by 9 out of 10 people.

Oh, Christ, can't anybody help these poor people?

 - we're going to assign that a Nightmare Rating of "9."

In the next couple of weeks, the truth is going to come out about impeachment.
The leaks, the dirty tricks, the perjury, the false affidavits, the backroom deals...
The approval ratings of Starr and Tripp are about to take a severe fucking dive.

Dive! Dive!


Trust me, if your name's not Rae Carruth, Po' Kenny or Linda the Pigg,
you're  having a good week.

Believe It Or Not

Wednesday, the 22nd, I'm watching Hardballs with Chris Matthews.
I am seeing something that I've never seen before, and I'm old.
Koresh as my witness, Matthews almost let a guest answer a question.

I am not kidding.

This guy had a full 8 or 9 seconds before Matthews started screaming and
waving his hands around, scaring the poor bastard and cutting him off.

Then, as if that's not enough excitement for one evening,
I saw a segment of Fox's O'Reilly Whore that had nothing to do with Clinton's Cock!

Repeat: A segment of Fox's O'Reilly that had nothing to do with Clinton's cock!

This is not a mistake or a misprint.
I give you my word.
If I'm lying, Rush Limba should be our next president.

O'Reilly talked to some dude for a good four minutes about the "Fridge of the Future,"
but the words, "Clinton" and "cock" never once came up in the conversation.

Two crazy things happening in the same night...

...go figure...

Then, a new twist that, ...while unexpected, was predictable.
Fox has a new slogan for their news channel:

Fox News
We Whore - You Call Us On It

Monkey Mail


From:   timhagee@i-plus.net


I'm sure Rush would be happy to know that you are devoting
so much time to him.

Tim Hagee

True Facts

Did you know if Clinton's cock was a country,
it would have the 12th largest economy in the world?

If you'd like to make some money off of Clinton's cock,
contact Paula Brodderrick of Fort Smith, Arkansas,
or contact Richard Mellon Scarfe directly at


The Macarena

Tom Delay will dance for any browser,
but you must use Internet Explorer to hear the music.

Monkey Mail


From:    Jmcyouree@aol.com

Subject:  (no subject)

I just found your page.

It appeers that fact and logic are foreign concept to the weak,

Breaking News

Oklahoma's Uncle O.J. Watts Forced Out by GOP White Boys

Knuckledrag radio is reporting Uncle OJ Watts is being forced out of the GOP.
Swear to Koresh. this was confirmed by CNN's Bob Novak before I could get
this scoop onto the web site of Honesty and Accuracy, bartcop.com

Tom Delay is fiercely angry with Uncle OJ for being, "too lazy," in his job,
and thunderbolts are expected to follow in the next few days.
There was no mention of a replacement for the position, "Token Negro."
The GOP is about to fire their ONLY black member for laziness?

Hell, all they had to do was read the Armey-Delay-Barr-Gingrich handbook
that clearly states, "All niggers are lazy," so what's the surprise?

Uncle OJ says he'll make an announcement after the first of the year.
Uncle OJ and the AP are reporting he'll stay, but trust Ol' BartCop.
And if you don't trust me, trust Bob Novak.

Personal note to Uncle OJ:
Don't try to run as a Democrat.
We won't welcome a  rejected traitor in the Democratic party.

Great Scumbag Quotes

"The time came, the cards turned bad, and the price of poker went up."

         --Bob Livingston, (R-No Morals) on why he resigned after being caught in
           a sex scandal while leading the GOP's attack on President Bill Clinton.

ha ha

You don't ever want to play poker with a Clinton.
...and you know who's in real trouble?

You Gotta Read This

This is a great article by Tamara Baker over at AMPOL.
She hits really hard, for a girl :)

If you'd like to see Starr and Tripp have a bad day, you'll really like this.

Angry Mail

From:   gbwill@atlascomm.net

Subject:  At least spell the guy's name correctly

Hey asshole!!!

Week web site.
You must have a tonn of time on your hand.
At least spell the guys name right.

Brenda Williams

The Big List

The Courage to Tell the Truth

MANCHESTER, N.H. (AP) -- A Florida lawyer who is running for president is airing a
political advertisement on New Hampshire's biggest television news station, alleging
Texas Gov. George W. Bush suffered from "alcohol abuse and had a cocaine problem."

Andy Martin, a West Palm Beach lawyer is running the ad on WMUR-TV,
an ABC affiliate that has aired presidential debates.  In the ad, Martin alleges:

"George Bush had a cocaine problem. His brain suffered from alcohol abuse.
 Don't trust Bush with your vote until he trusts you with the truth about his past."

I have an idea.

Let's start a drive to amend the Constitution so that Supreme Court judges serve
something like a ten-year term and then step down in shame and slither the hell away.

I can't think or a more incompetent group than the nine losers we have now.
Can you?

Clarence Thomas, the baby of this group, might live another twenty damn years!
Why didn't our forefathers foresee the possibility that a no-courage president like
George Herbert Traitor Butch might appoint an unqualified quotaboy like Clarence Thomas?
...and I'm not even sure Clarence is the stupidest judge we have anymore.
Clarence "Slappy" Thomas may be dumber than a rotted log,
but who's to say any of the others are any smarter?

Basically, Scalia decides to do whatever Rush would want.
Then Slappy the Bonehead looks at Scalia's paper and votes the same way,
then the others just vote the opposite way their appointors thought they would.
Meanwhile, Rehnquist is liable to break into a goddamn song from Pirates of Penzance.

Has there ever been a court more destructive to the presidency?
Greenlighting the filing of petty and frivolous civil suits, knowing full-well they're
financed by the president's political enemies, against the busiest man on Earth?

Once we rape and destroy the next Republican president, let's change that law.
That law needs to be reversed to bring some sanity back to our political process.

During Paula Jones's hunt for rhinoplasty dollars, I posed this question:
What if Bill Gates decides to fund 10,000 lawsuits against the next president?
What's to stop him?

Boy, the Supreme Court looks even worse now than they did just 3 minutes ago.

Adding to their stupidity is their cowardice.
If they think they might have to make a tough choice, they just say,
"We don't want to look at that right now," like that fucking solves something.

I'm betting the Republicans agree that this has been a horrible court.
Does anybody disagree?

E-Mail BartCop

From the Post

Stupid - "I think it was a mistake not to be informing the American people of
              certain facts, and to reiterate those facts. There were important facts
              that I should have let the American public become more aware of."
              -- Kenneth Starr, still trying to deflect the blame

Smart - ""Perhaps he'll inform the public why his deputies handed a tape over at midnight
                 at a Howard Johnson's, which ended up at Newsweek a half-hour later."
              -- Jim Kennedy, White House Counsel's spokesman

Po' Kenny is lucky.
With Linda Tripp around, he's not the most despised person in America.

Governor Runny Nose Tries for the Gay Vote

I'm watching Steve the Goof on CNN.
He says gays are bad people and an abomination before God.


His Daddy was an abomination before God?
Yep, nothing brings out the early primary dollars like a gay-bashing.
Daddy may have been an "abomination," but he damn sure had money.
You don't mind spending that "abomination's" money, though, do you Steve?

Steve, have you ever had a job where you weren't hired by an "abomination?"
As a kid, was the gold on your bathroom faucets 14K or 24K plated?
Have you ever done a day's work in your whole goddamn life?

I'll bet your hands are soft and supple, like a woman's.
Speaking of estrogen, let's look around the Forbes's family tree.

Steve's Daddy was gay.
I was reminded of this by that whore Dr. Laura, screaming about gay bathhouses
in San Francisco, as tho that was any of her goddamn concern, but I remembered
Steve's Daddy used to frequent the bathhouses in San Fransisco and New York.

Since Steve has no brothers, it figures there wasn't a lot of testosterone gushing
around the house while Steve was learning the strengths of a good family.
Steve has five daughters and no sons.
Maybe the testicle doesn't fall too far from the tree.

Gay father, no brothers, no sons...
And if Dad was gay, he must've "learned" gayness from hid dad, Steve's grandfather.
Where did Steve learn his family values?

...and he hates gays?

A Caller Gets Thru

Third Hour Wednesday

Caller: Rush, thanks for being you.
            You've pushed your party so far to the right, they got nothing passed.
            You are such shit as a human being, you've forced your own
            candidate to advertise himself as "the compassionate conservative."

Pigboy: Huh? What do you mean?

Caller: You heard me.
             You're such a cold-hearted bastard, George Dubya has to disavow you
              and run under the banner, "I'm not as big an asshole as Rush and the others."

Pigboy: Huh? What do you mean?

Caller: You heard me.
             You're a 700-pound, redneck nose-picker, and the public rejects you.

Pigboy: Huh? What do you mean?

That's right, Pigboy.
Keep pretending it doesn't exist.
Play stupid until the pigs come home - we don't care.
The voters are going to elect Mr. Boring because they're afraid of Republican hate.

Rush couldn't stop his river of hate if he tried.
If Governor Blow Monkey wins, Pigboy is off the air.
He doesn't care about the country.
He needs more millions, and he can't get 'em without Al Gore.

The GOP won't win the White House until they give up the hate.
What year will that occur?


Tell Santa you want speakers for Christmas.

Rush does a Prozac commercial.

Also, it takes a minute or two to load.
I suggest you click on it and continue reading.
Pretty soon, it'll happen.

How about a quick word from the Queen Bitch.

What happens when you try to reason with Rush?

Rush explains what drove him nuts.

Rush calmly gives us the straight poop on the Lincoln Bedroom.

I'm dreaming of a White Christmas..

...from our good friends at

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