This will be costly.
These are two audio clips from either the best show on free TV or the best show on TV.
I have three favorite West Wing episodes.
There's the one where Ollie North's friends murder the president's doctor.
The president wants some people and cities destroyed this instant,
but his staff delays taking action until they can talk him out of it.
Then there's the lost Vietnam Vet episode, which might make Pissquick
and there's the episode that was on tonight.
This comes in two parts.
Part 1 is the president's underage daughter trying to order a drink for
Dee Dee Myers at a Georgetown bar. She gets surrounded at the bar by some
drunk fratboy assholes who morph into racist goons and present a potential danger.
The president's personal aide, who is black, tries to intervene.
After some racial slurs, other White House staffers come to her aid.
Clip One is half-funny, half dangerous.
It ends well.
Click on Clip One
Now, the danger is over, but the president's daughter
fails to understand the gravity of the situation.
In one of the best short monologs I've ever heard,
the president explains to his daughter why she can't HAVE trouble.
This is what makes West Wing the best show on broadcast TV.
If you've seen the show, you'll enjoy the clip.
If you haven't seen the show, this clip will demonstrate
what you've been missing, and that's something you can correct.
Click on Clip Two
Funny how free TV can be this good in a capitalist society.
(These two clips will have a very short run.
Listen to them fast.)
The Onion has Broken the Story of the Year!
Click Here to read about this hoax
Smirk, King of Sleazebag Whores
Veep to Reap Fruits Of Bitter GOP Battle
by Lars Eric Nelson
WASHINGTON - The Super Tuesday primary
elections were supposed
to pick a winning Republican candidate for the White House this fall.
Instead, they crippled both GOP front-runners and left Vice President Gore
sitting pretty as the likely Democratic nominee.
Gov. George W. Bush is the most prominent
He walked into this race as the gentleman from Texas,
a "compassionate conservative" who repeatedly claimed he was
a "uniter, not a divider." He emerges from it as just another sleazy pol,
willing to tell whatever lies it takes for the sake of victory.
In one of the lowest moments of American
Bush ran radio ads accusing Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) of
opposing funds for breast-cancer research. At the end of the ad,
his own voice came on, saying "Paid for by Bush for President."
But when asked if he really believed McCain opposed
research, he said, "No, I don't believe that."
President Clinton at his slipperiest is not this blatantly two-faced.
"Of all the things I've seen in politics,
the worst," said Rep. Pete King (R-L.I.),
a Bush-turned-McCain supporter. "We had women on the phone in tears, afraid
that if McCain became President he would cut off research for breast cancer."
The breast-cancer ad was no exception. In eking out his victories,
Bush has established a consistent record of weaseling.
He dragged out a fringe veteran named Thomas
to accuse McCain of betraying Vietnam veterans.
Then, when other vets protested, Bush said he disagreed with Burch.
Bush spoke at neo-segregationist Bob
Jones University to win the
South Carolina yahoo vote, and then as soon as he was safely
out of South Carolina said he disagreed with the school's policies.
Bush consistently claimed that the answer
to big-money fund-raising abuses was
prompt disclosure of the donors' names. Then, when he was in trouble in New York,
his Texas contributors poured $2.5 million into anonymous ads attacking McCain
on the environment and Bush said he had no idea who they were.
If (Gore) faces Bush in November, even his
especially his own fund-raising scandals cannot now be used against him.
"Bush has just let Gore off the hook," King said. "How can he accuse Gore of anything
when, as soon as he was in trouble, he put $2.5 million in phony money into New York?"
No wonder Gore's smile seems extra broad
(Lars Erik Nelson is a damn good writer.
I knew all of this before I read his version of it,
but there's no way I could assemble the facts it like he did.)
A shot of Chinaco to Lars Erik Nelson
A word from the partner of my good friend, Joe Conason, and co-author of this book:
Available at Amazon.com
We begin with the assumption that any state carried
or closely contested by McCain
during the primaries will prove very difficult for Bush to carry against Gore. Exit polls show
more than 40 percent of McCain voters saying they'll back the vice president in November
should Bush be the Republican nominee.
We think there are five big ways the McCain insurgency has wounded Bush.
By winning in New Hampshire, McCain shoved Bush into the arms of the
fundamentalist right in South Carolina. It's no use for Bush to whine that the rules have
changed since Ronald Reagan visited Bob Jones University 20 years ago. So has the
public's view of ecclesiastical mountebanks like Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell.
It's Bush's opportunism in aligning himself with a bunch of intolerant goobers whose
world view boils down to "My God is red hot, your God ain't diddley squat."
It's also quite funny watching these Bible
beaters who make a profession of railing at
others' moral failings recoiling in horror and amazement when somebody criticizes them back.
The Christian Coalition and its allies are also still blamed for this year's stealth issue:
lingering anger over impeachment.
McCain also hurt Bush by forcing him to spend the bulk of his once vast
treasury and by calling attention to the sources of that loot.
McCain's insurgency also forced the Bush campaign to dig into its dirty
much earlier than it wanted to. From the 1988 Willie Horton incident onward, there's
never been a Bush family campaign that didn't feature "outlaw" TV attack ads paid for
by third parties supposedly not authorized by the candidate.
The Bush-McCain race has opened a schism among conservative pundits that
may not heal by November. Bombastic talk show host Rush Limbaugh has been flailing away
at McCain on Bush's behalf. His theme is that campaign finance reform would ruin the GOP.
(It would sure diminish the influence of the Christian Coalition and the National Rifle Association.)
Whatever else you can say about John McCain, he's a grown man.
Bush, by contrast, comes across like a puppy.
"The Catholic Church is a great church," Bush
actually said on CNN the other day.
He spoke with all the depth of conviction one might bring to a discussion of Burger King's french fries.
Maybe Gore is not Mr. Excitement, but he's an adult. Come November, that alone may suffice.
In the long run, McCain's right. The Republican base is shrinking, and fealty to Christian Coalition
dogma on social issues is hurting the party. But they may have to lose one more
presidential election before they're convinced.
For the whole story Click Here
Paul Begala Shoots the Bull
We Democrats are dancing in the streets today. Our hero Al Gore
and the Republican who is both easier and sleazier is going to be the nominee.
I cannot wait to see that smirk disappear from Bush's face.
You can reach Paul, mailto:email@example.com
Great Pigboy Quotes
"When Governor Bush meets with the Log Cabin gay Republicans,
I hope he doesn't get sucked in."
Rush's Draft Lies
I/m 50 and I was drafted.
Limbaugh would not have been contacted had he had a high number.
I can't remember how far down they went but I believe it was down to about 120.
I was number 6.
Number Six is a definite go!
Thanks for writing, John.
From: (leave my name out of it)
Now that George Dubya has the nomination sewed
up, will the stories start?
You said the press would tear Dubya a new one when the time was right.
The secret child, the multiple DWI's, Funeral-gate, the cocaine arrest.
Is the time right to expose Dubya?
When Loser-elect Smirk was on Jay Leno, Jay asked him some softball
and Smirk replied, "I inherited half my father's friends and all of his enemies,"
and then he sat there and Smirked at Jay as if he'd just said,
Now I've said my A-B-C's, tell me what you think of me!"
"half his friends?"
"all his enemies?"
Why did that sound so familiar?
It's been nagging at me,
...nagging like Doc Harpy watching a gay parade.
Then I remembered:
Smirk borrowed that line from his crooked daddy.
(Or, as Doc Harpy would put it,
the guy who knocked up Barbara Butch.)
At the 1992 Republican convention, George Herbert Traitor Butch said,
"I'll accept all the blame for the Reagan-Bush administration
if you'll only give me half the credit for our successes!"
...and every ditto-monkey in the giant hall wet themselves with glee.
But George Bush was lying.
"I'll accept all the blame," he said.
But what did he do?
But what did he do?
What did he do?
After he lost the election, you remember?
He pardoned the whole criminal bunch to save his guilty ass from
Is that the GOP definition of "accepting all the blame?
Using a pre-trial pardon to bury the truth?
Look at that shit eatin' grin on Weinberger's face!
He's happy as a Limba-in-shit because he's not going to jail.
Clinton shaved the truth a little to hide a blow job, and the GOP and
the press called it,
"the biggest assault on our constitution since Watergate."
But when Loser-elect's daddy was in-the-loop selling missiles to
the animals that murdered 241 of our Marines in Lebanon,
the GOP turned their head and closed their lying eyes.
...and they said impeachment was to preserve the rule of law?
Pardon me, while I vomit in disgust.
If anyone has ever heard more horseshit in their lives,
please contact bartcop.com for your reward.
We need to watch out for the Loser-elect.
He'd screw us just like his daddy did, if we let him!
Half the credit for taking all the blame?
What a fucking joke!
Smirk is from bad seed.
The son-of-a-butch can't be trusted.
I read your bit about Rush and the draft and did not hear that part on his show today.
Yep, he said it Tuesday.
I have never heard him say he had a high draft number,
After Mama Limba spilled the beans, he never brought
up his lie again.
How could he?
If he had a high draft number, he wouldn't have had to take the physical.
[ correction - all men had to take physicals?]
He had no choice but to go with his Mama's truth.
I hope that is not you kidding around. If
you check pigboy's age
I believe you will find he was at least one year past the lottery
when his number would have been drawn.
I'm not sure about that, either.
I'm two years younger than Herr Swine, and I got drafted.
I don't remember how the first lottery worked
and if it
was for more than one year of birth, but if it wasn't, pigboy is lying
again, or still lying. He would have been using his junior college
deferment to avoid the draft,
Did that work?
I was in my college dorm when I got my notice.
I don't doubt that Rush is lying and granted, those were my "foggy" years,
but I think the draft was every year that they didn't have enough volunteers,
which was every year when the war was raging.
Maybe someone from that era with a clearer mind will help us out...
Click the Pic
Great Payback Quotes
"How can I be gay if I'm dating a woman with boobs and rollers?"
-- Matt Fudge, I mean Drudge
Click Here for the full story from Salonmagazine.com
If anyone ever mentions "liberal" California again, I'll pop a blood
Among other things, we just voted to house 14 year old juvenile delinquents
in with adult criminals.
(Does the phrase "Boy Toy" sound familar?
Like that'll really reform them.)
We voted to execute 16 year olds when death penalty hasn't been under
(When even a republican governor has halted them)
We voted to deny gays equal rights.
We voted to deny ourselves the right to sue our insurance company when they
refuse to pay our claim and more.
Hell, this is a conservative's wet dream.
Are you sure I'm not living in Massabama or Carolina?
I can only hope that the breakdowns prove I live in Intelligencia.
Today's Laura hate show opened with the "news" that her little angel
has become "a full-blown Hendrix freak," so she bought him a guitar.
Trust me - that kid's on drugs.
You don't start out with Hendrix.
You start with "Up With People."
Then you move on "up" to Backstreet Boys or Britney Spears.
Then you move further into Mariah Carey and the Spice Girls.
As time time goes by, you graduate to Def Leppard and clean 'n sober Aerosmith.
By the time you get to Hendrix, you're a heroin addict.
Remember, Harpy Laura said she keeps two guns in the house now.
I wonder if Deryeskshe is a Nirvana fan?
Subject: President Gore
Life is good.
Big ol sexy incredibly qualified & still-in-love-with-first-wife Al Gore
is gonna do the UBANGI STOMP on this appalling twit and his
corporate-religio-knuckedrag sponsors in November.
Today's Wash Post front page above the fold has
handsome/triumphant photo of Gore, but his facial expression is total
Bill Clinton-lower-lip-bite, nobody could mistake the similarity of image.
That Sally's henchmen at the Post chose this particular
Clinton-looking Gore pose
out of hundreds, struck me. They're like addicts, they can't stop flogging the most
successful presidency in decades as a failure, a shame, so regrettable.
But despite them, it's a great shot, the next president looks great, they lose again!
Ha ha, this is all too excellent!
Susan, good news always scares me.
I'm afraid they're going to shoot Gore in the fucking head.
I'll be happy when Clinton retires because they'll be less of an incentive
to assassinate the best president of the 20th Century.
p.s. okay, everything's not totally great yet,
fuck the homophobia-susceptible
ignorami in California. Some day this will be like women voting or blacks
sitting where they like on a bus, people won't give it a freakin thought.
Maybe 50 more years. The money clout of Mormon and Catholic churches
has been a major factor in antigay marriage politix, from Hawaii to
the now 2 dozen-plus "guy-n-gal-only" states.
Sharkbabe, you don't understand.
Dr. Laura says gays can't handle marriage.
Dr. Laura says all gays are "deviants" and they can't be trusted with a
sacred sacrament like marriage because, "they're too promiscuous."
Besides, gays are too busy kidnapping children to have a relationship
so why would they even bother with a marriage?
Dr Laura. like Rush, speaks for God, so you're wrong.
Great Presidential Quotes
"We need to build on our record of prosperity. We don't need to go
back to where we were eight years ago. They tried their approach before;
it produced a triple-dip recession and quadrupled the national debt."
-- President-elect Gore on the GOP's 'Voodoo Economics'
(coined by Smirk's daddy in 1980.)
*Don't use my name*
I found this little piece on Dr. Laura from "The American Prospect" by Wendy Kaminer.
I know how you feel about Laura. =) This article is in regards to the issue of
recognizing gay rights around the country.
Consider the ravings of syndicated radio host
and pop psychologist Dr. Laura.
She views homosexuality simply as "sexual deviancy," associated with pedophilia,
bestiality, and sadomasochism (not to mention crossdressing), which she says
gay-rights activists are conspiring to normalize, with the aid of big government:
"Again, a conspiracy... . I'm the X-Files queen
at this point... . When you're trying to
establish a world order [in which] deviancy becomes the norm and everything is okay
and there should be no judgment, the first thing you have to do is either remove kids
from their homes to brainwash them, like if there were government day care centers
or mandatory preschools from the age of three."
Psychologists who claim that same-sex couples
can raise healthy children are also
part of the conspiracy that Dr. Laura perceives: The "stupid trash that comes out of the
psychological community that says dad's not necessary [is] a plot for two women to
have kids and justify it. If two lesbians can adopt or make children after the psychological
community says that fathers are not relevant, then there's a lot of power, right?
Believe me, all the points connect to one place."
It's not that she lacks compassion, the good doctor stresses:
"I don't want anybody hurt. I don't want anybody killed."
(Ediotr's note: Isn't Laura sweet?
She's going to allow the gays to live!
I was wrong about her - she's a nice woman!)
It's just that, for her, gay rights are limited
to the right to be cured of gayness:
"I would like homosexuals to have the ability to get reparative therapy so they
could live, quote, 'normal' lives and have the benefit of heterosexual relationships."
There are many reasons to hate the hate that comes outta Doc Harpy.
How about another?
Years and years ago, probably around 1984, NBC ran a horrific but great
mini-series called, "The Holocaust," starring Michael Moriarty, later of Law & Order.
Moriarty played a good German boy who was "caught up" in the Nazi machine.
This show's claim was they made it as accurate as possible and still
be allowed on television.
There were two scenes that stick in my mind.
This mini-series portrayed the Jews as very sheepish people.
The Germans would march them into the woods, make them dig a giant pit,
then the Jews would obediently line up on the edge of the pit so when the Nazi
machines guns cut them down, they'd fall into the pit, saving the Nazis the time,
trouble and manpower of moving the bodies afterwards.
This was not played for laughs.
You couldn't watch this and not be affected.
I'm not an expert on Jewish history, but I'm pretty sure the phrase, "Never Again,"
applies to this exact situation and situations like it, meaning, "We will never, ever
go down again without giving you the fight of your life, mother-effer!"
The second scene I remember is the one that reminds me of nasty Doc
When the Nazis were "enrolling" the Jews into the camps, for some reason,
they wanted to keep accurate records of exactly who they had "in custody."
To ensure accuracy, they asked about the lineage of each victim-to-be.
When a Jew approached the processing desk, he was asked two questions:
1. "Who is the whore who bore you?"
(If a Jew had a problem with that question, he got the end of a rifle butt
and he was asked the same question again. The people standing in line behind
him saw what was happening and co-operated or received the rifle butt.)
2. Once they got the mother's information, they asked,
"And who was the pimp who raped her?"
Yep, those Nazis sure know how to dehumanize a "guest," don't they?
That was one of their goals - to make the Jews inhuman, so it would be easier
for the German soldiers to carry out their orders.
Which brings us to the point:
Yesterday on her hate show, some woman called and asked about her father
being in her wedding, even though he'd left her mother years before.
Doc Hate said,
"He's your father? By what measure?
He knocked up your mother - that's all, that's it!"
Now, you can say it's a stretch to equate the two, but Doc Harpy has
a way of
dismissing "people who don't count," and her cavalier rejection of the father
reminded me of that Nazi mini-series I haven't thought of in years.
Schlessinger.... That's German, right?
Votes are Pooring In For Gore,
Smirk Winning, too, But Not as Big
Watching Fox News
Dick Morris on O'Reilly with Snoot and some Demoette named Mary Ann.
Snoot's flinching every time O'Reilly says, "Mary Ann!" real fast.
Morris said he was honored to be on a panel with one of the two
greatest political minds in Washington DC .
Homage to Clinton!
Prettyboy anchor Brian whatshisname was talking to.... Bob
I didn't know he was still alive!
Poor Bob, still putting shoe polish in his hair.
Now, Lisa Meyers, NBC's biggest slut is cluttering up the TV.
Remember the "Free Lisa Meyers" buttons the Fox Whores were wearing
when they were foaming to see the Jane Doe #5 confession?
She seems to be playing grab-ass with Laura Ingraham.
I think I heard a rumor they lived together, Lisa and Laura.
I'll bet they don't borrow each other's clothes.
These two hate covering a story without Clinton's cock!
Lisa Meyers, especially.
She kept wiggling in her chair like she had ants in her pants.
I'll bet that Clinton Cock addiction is harder to break than cigarettes.
Who else is on live right now?
Larry King has that traitor Dee Dee Myers and Bill Bennett, back to...
Gore's rallying the crowd like a preacher!
"We are the party of mainstream America!
We are the party of inclusion!
We are the party of economic success
and we're going to win in November!"
Smirk's in a lot of trouble, but I have
to look at the bright side:
We have Smirk to kick around - at least until convention week.
Watching Horendo Revolver
Falwell and Sharpton are fighting like blacks and whites.
They'd be bloody by now if they were in the same studio.
I was changing channels real fast, saw a picture of Smirk,
then I heard, "Bob Dole says he's a doofus!"
Back to C-Span
Bradley says this isn't about winning and losing.
That's what the loser always says.
Bradley says he has an announcement that he'll make "later."
I'm physic - he's outta here.
9:30 EST, they still can't call New York, at least for the GOP
(Gore won New York in January)
Back to Horendo
Jerry Falwell is spewing some kind of hate, I can't tell.
He's spitting a lot, too.
By the way, I never caught what that whole Falwell-Flynt fued was about.
It had something to do with having sex with Falwell's Mom, right?
Did Larry Flynt have sex with Falwell's mother?
Was it before or after the wheelchair?
Or was it ...Falwell having ...sex with his own ...mother?
That can't be right.
That's why they were fighting?
That was the issue?
That's why they went to court?
Why was Larry Flynt even involved, if the issue was Falwell
having sex with his own mother? How was Flynt connected?
Did Flynt print the pictures?
Where did he get them?
And Falwell shows his face on the TV?
Let me guess:
Falwell supports Smirk, right?
Back to Fox
Snoot's calling for a Smirk-McCain ticket!
Snoot says McCain will take the job after swearing he wouldn't because,
"What do promises mean in the GOP, anyway?"
(Laughs all around)
[Mrs. BartCop wants to watch NYPD Blue.
Mrs. BartCop must be made happy.]
His Tangled Web
Rush cleared up a years-old mystery today.
I distinctly remember Rush telling two different stories about why he was
"unable" to help fight the war he loved so damned much in Vietnam.
First, he said he had a "high draft number."
For the younger ones, allow me to explain.
For that unpopular war, they held a draft each year where they pulled
ping-pong balls with dates on them out of a rotating drum like a Bingo game
to see who was forced, at gun-point if necessary, to go to Vietnam to fight.
Rush's initial excuse was that he'd gotten lucky with a high number.
But I also remember Rush, himself, telling the story about that awful
cyst on his ass that he got from his terribly bad bathroom habits.
Why the two conflicting stories?
Today, Rush told all.
He said his recently-deceased mother was a real corker.
He said she got a call one day from the National Enquirer asking
if they could send some reporters over to her house - she said, "Sure."
At the time, Rush had been brutally savaging "yellow draft-dodger,"
Bill Clinton, so the Enquirer asked Millie about her son's draft status.
She pulled out Rusty's medical records and showed the reporters why
her little boy wasn't able to go to Vietnam.
Suddenly, the truth was out!
The big, big lie that Pigboy had a high draft number was exposed.
The truth about his infected, dirty, unwashed ass was in the Enquirer.
Rush blew a gasket.
"You give out my medical records?" he screamed at his Mom.
"Why?" said Millie Limbaugh. "We have nothing to hide, and besides,
those reporters were very nice. We had coffee and a really nice chat."
"Yeah, I'll bet," moaned Limba, his dirty-ass secret was exposed.
His high-draft number charade was revealed to the National Enquirer.
Like that nasty Laura Schlessinger, Pigboy lied to hide the truth.
Like that nasty Laura Schlessinger, Pigboy eventually had to tell the truth.
Like that nasty Laura Schlessinger, Pigboy had no shame.
...and they both went after Clinton like they were without sin?
What lying scumbags they both turned out to be!
Just think what we might find out about these two lying scumbags if
six years, $50,000,000 and subpoena power over all their friends?
I think we'd find that, compared to Rush and Laura Harpy,
Bill and Hillary are the cleanest two people in America.
That K-Drag Rush-clone Michael Del Giorno doesn't like to be upstaged.
It seems his "Tonto," Rick Couri, might be a Gore fan.
How did it sound?
Two for Tuesday
I think your point is that dis-sembling the English language is a good thing.
That a sitting President can, with a straight face, answer a question with,
" ... what the definition of ' is' is ...".
Mark, is Michael Jordan the greatest player in NBA history?
Trust me, the answer is relevant.
Please get back to me as soon as you can with your answer.
When asked, under oath, "Did you have sex
with Monica L.?"
"No, I did not have sex with that woman, Monica Lewinski".
(National TV, pointing finger et al.).
You're proving my point.
They never asked Clinton that question.
(Are you with the press covering McCain?)
They asked Clinton if he had "sexual relations" with Monica.
Pick up a dictionary and read the definition of "sexual relations."
Webster says it means "sexual intercourse."
Clinton did not have "sexual relations" with Monica.
It's one thing to haggle over definitions on a humor web site,
but if you're going to try to reverse a presidential election,
you'd better cross your "t's" and dot your "i's."
Clinton can lie through his teeth as long
as he stays within the
lawyer defined letter of the law. You like lawyerspeak, I take it,
when it obfuscates the actual truth.
Let's say you got arrested for speeding.
You were going 75 in a 60.
The DA gets you on the witness stand and says,
"Is it true you were going 90 in a 60?"
Now, if you answer, "No," are you a lying, Clintonesque weasel,
hiding behind lawyerspeak trying to subvert the constitution?
Or did you just answer the question truthfully?
Words mean things.
You support and applaud 8 years of misinformation,
halftruths, and outright
lies, and want another 4 or 8 years of the same from someone who learned
at the masters knee.
No, I support Clinton's right to be less-than forthcoming when
asks him, for political purposes only, what his cock has been up to.
Remember, they drew up impeachment papers BEFORE Monica.
They always planned to impeach him, they just needed a "crime."
You like McCain because he is a fraud; he
claims to be a Republican,
yet does all he can to get the Demoncrats behind him.
You Demoncrats are in a lockstep on parade that would make Hitler proud.
All thats missing is a general Sieg Hiel from the liberal press and the party
faithful for Algore. What a bunch of left-handed ditto-heads ...
Mark J. Latzko
I think someone forgot to take their pill.
Besides Al Gore, nobody in the country is more happy than me
to see McCain get beat in the primaries. You ignore every Zogby poll
that shows Gore beating Smirk, while showing that McCain would beat Gore.
You're getting your wish
Why are you angry?
You should be happy, at least until the first week of November.
Great Sane Quotes
Thought you might like this: firstname.lastname@example.org
Which is more likely, that God made a mistake creating homosexuals,
or that Laura made a mistake calling homosexuality 'God's mistake?'
I've heard it a hundred times, so have you, that this election is extra
because the next president might pick as many as three Supreme Court judges.
Remember, Smirk owes favors to Bob Jones, Pat Robertson and Ralph Reed.
Landslide or Suicide?
This is good!
...and Vote for Smirk!
Wall Street Takes a Beating
Dow down 329 at this writing.
You know why?
It's Super Tuesday.
It's a real reminder that the Clinton era is slowly coming to a close.
That would panic any investor.
A Rare Religious Challenge (W/Update)
Does BartCop Have Brain Cancer?
Real Heroes are Hard to Find
McDougal Tells About Prison Life
Better Treatment of Women Urged
By Suzanne Hoholik
Express-News Staff Writer
Susan McDougal's idea of life behind bars was nothing compared to
what she experienced the first day she walked into an Arkansas jail.
She was put into a cell with 30 other women, 10 beds and a toilet
that also served as the drinking water source.
"Most of the women were sleeping on the floor," she said.
"They had no covers, and many were crying. It was a horrifying thing".
"I decided to be a trooper, but drinking water from the back of a
toilet was not for me," McDougal said Monday as a group of 200
at the University of Texas at San Antonio laughed.
McDougal, 45, who spent 18 months in prison after refusing to
cooperate with independent counsel Kenneth Starr in the Whitewater
real estate fraud case, was in San Antonio to address UTSA students
and women's groups as part of Women's History Month.
At the invitation of Sheriff Ralph Lopez, she also toured the Bexar
County Jail women's unit.
McDougal and her husband were partners with Bill and Hillary Clinton
in the failed land deal that became known as the Whitewater scandal.
After his conviction, her husband changed his testimony and
implicated the Clintons, but McDougal refused to do so.
She was convicted of fraud and civil contempt, and before her
release in June 1998 lived in seven different prisons, spending most
of her time talking to women about how they ended up behind bars.
Most of them talked about being physically or sexually abused, she
said, and while the accounts brought tears to McDougal's eyes, her
fellow prisoners were not affected.
"When I looked around the circle, no one had the reaction I did," she
"Every single woman there had been abused. This was not news."
Getting female prisoners released is not McDougal's goal. Improving
for them is. She wants more programs like Alcoholics Anonymous to be available,
wants to eliminate overcrowding, and wants prison and jail authorities to stop
locking up the mentally ill with the general population.
"We forget that people who are incarcerated are people, too," she said.
"I tell the women, 'You need to be in jail.' I'm not for letting them out,
but we need to fix them while they're there."
McDougal encouraged her audience to get involved and question
officials about how inmates are treated.
"When we see a problem in our society, we need to try to see what can
said McDougal, who referred to herself several times as a "convicted felon."
"Guess what?" she said.
"Sheriffs are elected. They don't want trouble with constituents.
They don't want women from (a church) calling and saying, 'What's going on?'"
Dora Boyd, a UTSA senior, said she had heard a lot about McDougal
from news reports and wanted to see firsthand how an "upper-class woman"
dealt with being in prison.
"I think she is providing a good opportunity for a lot of people to
know what's going on,"
said Boyd, whose idea of McDougal before the speech was as more of a villain.
"I didn't think about the position she was in and not able to cooperate (with Starr.)
She made it all very understandable."
During her 35-minute tour of the Bexar County women's jail facility,
McDougal wiped tears from her eyes after talking to a couple of inmates through bars
or a small opening in a solitary confinement cell.
"It was real hard to talk to that girl in lockdown, it really was,"
"That jail does have some programs that help, but it is also overcrowded and
mentally ill people shouldn't be there. We don't have a lot of compassion for people in jail."
McDougal credits the people working inside jails, like Sgt. Debra Barry,
overcrowding is a problem at the Bexar County facility, which has about 400 women.
"Sometimes we have people sleeping on mattresses on the floor because
don't have enough space," Barry said. "We really do try. With our resources,
we try our best to make their time here better."
McDougal said she is unemployed and spends most of her time caring for
who are sick. She said she has $40 in a checking account in her Arkansas hometown
and has no plans to write a book or sell her movie rights.
Two to three times a month, McDougal accepts speaking engagements.
She was not paid for her speech in San Antonio.
Bill Maher Friday
Bill: Good evening,
I'm Bill Maher.
And as you know, last week in New York, four white police officers were
acquitted in the shooting death of a black immigrant named Amadou Diallo.
Disturbing, but not as disturbing as what a bunch of gutless panty waists
New Yorkers have become.
You know, when we here in
L.A. had the Rodney King cops acquitted, at least we rioted.
And we're supposed to be the laid-back ones?
I don't think so.
Whereas New Yorkers tut-tutted
about the whole thing over a late dinner at Elaine's --
And cowered lest that fiend, Puff Daddy, turn up with a gun again.
Back in '92,
Los Angelinos were out in the streets looting appliances to strike a blow for freedom!
let me tell you something, if you New Yorkers are not watching me
on a stolen TV right now, you should be ashamed of yourselves.
You know --
do you know that in New York, after the verdict was announced,
exactly one guy showed up at the building where the murder had taken place,
and that was because he had heard an apartment became available.
Oh, oh, and there was one
Al Sharpton went on a 20-minute hunger strike.
The whole thing is so pathetic.
And that's why tonight, I am challenging New York to a riot.
Let's see what you have in
you, New York!
What are you waiting for, the cops to cover Diallo in elephant dung?
Get out there and burn some stuff.
Make a point!
I Can't Wait for Smirk to Fix America
Subject: TEXAS RANKS:
1st in Children without Health Insurance...
5th in Highest Teen Birth Rate...
3rd in Highest number of children living in poverty...
1st in Toxic Air Releases...
1st in Smog Days (Houston)...
1st in poorest counties...
3rd in Hunger...
45th in Mothers Receiving Pre-Natal Care...
46th in Public Libraries and Branches...
46th in High School Completion Rate...
46th in Water Resources Protection...
47th in Delivery of Social Services...
48th in Literacy...
48th in Per Capita Funding for Public Health...
48th in Best Place to Raise Children
(Was 29th before Smirk became governor)
48th in Spending for Parks and Recreation...
48th in Spending for the Arts...
49th in Spending for the Environment...
50th in Teachers' Salaries plus Benefits...
1st in DWI deaths...
1st is gun-related child injuries and deaths...
1st in the number of prisoners executed since 1976...
2nd in number of people incarcerated...
9th on what it spends on prisons (prisons are big business)...
41st on what it spends on kindergarten thru 12th grade education...
These are NOT the achievements that Dubya
talks about when campaigning for president...
Smarter than your average Mongol
Gay-Bashing Harpy Strikes Back
Subject: Dubya gave a straight answer!
Leno: Were you familiar with Bob
Jones U. prior to going there?
George: I make no excuses. A lot of candidates have gone there in the past...
A typical dodge.
But Jay, always the tough, hard-charging interviewer, pressed on...
Leno: Were you aware of this? Or
was this just a school on a list?
George: It was a school on a list.
There we go! A straight-talking, bald-faced lie.
Yeah, and notice Leno had to lead him to the agreed-to answer.
Let's hope when President Smirk is negotiating with China,
President Zhing Zhamed tells him what to say.
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