Vol 180 - Jethro in Dole's Footsteps

March 19, 2000

Sane Demo Quotes

"Dr. Laura has a right to her opinion, but I think it's irresponsible of
Paramount to not give equal time, at the very least, to a person with
a more enlightened and contemporary perspective. I'm totally against
wasting the airwaves, giving visibility to a person who is clearly in
dire need of compassion, education, and a good shrink herself."

Susan Sarandon, actress

Sane GOP Quotes

And I can be very frank with my Republican friends: Unless they move back
into the middle, and have a big-tent philosophy, they'll continue to lose the White House
  -- Gerald Ford, the last Republican president who didn't need a pardon

Phun Phacts

131 - Number of overnight guests at Smirk's governor's mansion
 60 -  Number of those guests that wrote Snotty Smirk a check
$2,200,000 - number of dollars Smirk raised at Hotel Austin.

Great Smug Bastard Quotes

Surprise - it's not George Will, it's Governor Smirk!
In a reply e-mail to the Vice President of the United States, Smirk closed with,

"Thank you for your e-mail. This Internet of yours is a wonderful invention."

Smirk proves, again and again, he'd rather be a mean-spirited prick-loser
than a gracious winner of the run for the White House.

Oh, the hard-right ditto-monkeys loved hearing that the VP was insulted,
but America just saw one more reason the Snotty Smirk should be defeated.

Congratulations to Laura Schlessinger
Hooray for the Whore

Radio Harp Cancels Birthday Bash

LOS ANGELES - Laura Schlessinger cancelled her birthday party/fund-raiser
in Michigan to avoid gay rights activists she angered with her hate rhetoric,
reports the Associated Press.

Schlessinger said in a statement she decided to cancel "so as not to compromise
anyone's physical safety or subject anyone to embarrassment or discomfort."

Gay and lesbian groups--upset at Laura's deviant stance on homosexuality,
planned to outwardly protest the event.

Approximately 800 tickets with a price tag of $76 had been sold for the event.
Proceeds were going to benefit her charitable foundation and Detroit's Children's Center

Well, well...

Nasty Laura has joined the Incredible Pigboy is being so unpopular that she and
her family can no longer be seen in public because of their hatred of minorities.
The only way she can do something as simple as going to Disneyland
would be to wear a hat and a plastic nose and a fake beard like OJ Simpson.

I heard Rush say just this last Friday that he's "never been a big movie fan."
How could he be?
He can only see movies on DVD or cable because he's not allowed to mix with the public
in going to movie theaters because of his Hitlerian hatred of non-white Christians.

Congratulations Laura.
You've finally reached Pigboy's Peak of Pariahdom!

Smirk Poses with Bears

George W Bush poses with some bears in this exclusive  bartcop.com  photo.
If you'll notice, nobody else has this exclusive picture.
Is was taken a few weeks ago when...


That's not Smirk?
Of course it is, ...isn't it?

Are you sure?

It's who??
Joerg Haider, the Nazi of Austria?

He looks just like that Snotty Smirk.

Well, .....

At the end of the day,
...is there a difference?


I had never heard of   NewsMax.com before the story quoted, below.

NewsMax.com has to be the whoriest webpage I've ever seen.
It reads like a goddamn comedy page, which it may be, I'm not sure.
It's got the credibility and dignity of that funny anti-masturbation page.

Does Rupert Murdoch own NewsMax.com?
Or is this Matt Drudge's foray into the "legit" news business?

If you take a second to scan their page, you'll see reporting that makes
the Fox Whore News seem fair and balanced, and Fox is a fucking joke.

I'd like to apologize for even quoting these most shameless of whores.
The Laura Bush story is true, I'm pretty sure, but NewsMax.com is fake.

More On the 1963 Laura Bush Auto Accident

From NewsMax.com
Inside Cover on 2/25

Laura Bush, wife of  Gov. Bush, has carried a dark secret for more than 30 years.
Her high school sweetheart died in a tragic auto accident, hit by a car she was driving.
To this day, those close to Laura Bush will speak of this incident only in hushed tones --
and no one can recall her broaching the topic in the 36 years  since it happened.
Sources tell Star that Laura was devastated by the episode -- so much so that it
changed her personality forever.

"Before the accident, she was a pretty normal teenager," one high school
classmate told the tabloid. "But afterwards she became more serious and quiet."
Even today Mrs. Bush is known as the shy and quiet type.

On Nov. 6, 1963, then-17 year-old Laura Welch was driving with a friend on a
Midland, Texas highway. In a cruel twist of fate, her high school boyfriend Mike Douglas,
a popular football star, had just entered one of the town's most dangerous intersections
driving another vehichle, when Laura's car slammed into it.

Douglas suffered a broken neck and was DOA at Midland Memorial hospital.
Laura was unhurt while a girlfriend riding with her suffered only minor injuries.
Exacerbating the tragedy, Douglas' dad was following his son in a separate car
and came upon the accident scene immediately after it happened.

Said a former friend, "We were devastated. Laura stayed out of school for a
month or two after the accident." Another old friend told Star, "We never
talked to Laura about what happened. Nobody did. She never broached it
with me and no one was going to bring it up if she didn't."

Despite the secrecy that still surrounds the accident, her high school buddies give
Laura Bush high marks for the way she's handled herself since. Bill Sallee, who was
a good friend of Mike Douglas in the months before he was killed, told Star that
Mrs. Bush hasn't let the tragedy keep her from attending high school reunions.

House Manager Overthrow Update

James Rogan, "the Prick from Glendale" is in trouble in California.
This partisan ditto-monkey is in so much trouble, he was recently at a White House
gun-control rally kissing Clinton's ring, begging forgiveness, trying to get his picture taken
with the popular president, trying to to appear less-of-a-prick than he really is.

In the recent California primary, Rogan got fewer votes than his democrat opponent,
state senator Adam Schiff (D-Law & Order)

To make things worse, Schiff beat Rogan by 3,000 votes on a day where the GOP
faithful came out in droves to choose Smirk over McCain.

To make things worse, Rogan spent a $2,800,000 and Schiff only spent $50,000.

To make things worse, in November, the voters will be much more left and centrist.
Gore's lead in California and Intelligencia is seen as "uncatchable."

Rogan must go.

Let's Be Frank

Alan Keyes will not be our next president.

The man who spellbinds millions of the Republican Party faithful
with his message of less taxes, less government and no abortions
will not come anywhere near winning the GOP nomination this year.

Do you want to know the real reason?
For a complete discussion,     Click Here

Great Mean-Spirited Quotes

Remember Marvin Butch, Smirk's younger brother?
Marvin was in the car with Smirk one day when Smirk was drunk-driving,
running into trash cans, and causing a ruckus at the Butch household.
This was the famous incident when Smirk challenged his elderly father with,

"I hear you're looking for me. You want to go mano a mano?"
 (Koresh, this spoiled snot sounds like a mean drunk!
  Wanting to beat up his skinny, elderly father?)

Well, young Marvin has a mean and nasty streak in him, too,
according to the new George magazine (April Issue)

What did the "normally press-shy" Marvin Bush say that was so nasty and awful?
To a group of traveling reporters, according to George magazine, Bush said,

"That great sucking sound you hear is the sound of the media's lips
  coming off of John McCain's cock."

Trust One of Us

If you don't trust a Democrat, would you trust Pat Buchanan?

"Bush is incapable, Gore is exploitative."
        -- Pat Buchanan, quoted by Ron Fournier for the AP

Give us anything but incapable...

Truth in Media

In the newest Entertainment Weekly magazine, (March 24 edition)

Question: How would you describe Laura Schlessinger in baseball terms?

Answer:  She's a pitch and a bunt.

ha ha

Meet the Whore

Wayne LaPierre, who has a mouth larger than Julia Roberts,
was on Meet the Whore screaming for a bigger, bolder ATF.

Can anybody explain?

He wants federal agents in every gun store and every booth at every gun show.
I'm so old, I remember when they used to say, "Government is the problem!"

This has caused a fissure between the McVeigh wing of the GOP and the NRA.
Reagan built his career on McVeigh's motto: "Government is the problem,"
yet La Pierre says we meeed MORE federeal agents?

They want more local intrusion by the ATF in every county sheriff's office?
That's more government than I want to pay for.
I think we need smaller government.

They want more local intrusion by the ATF in every ward in Chicago?
That's more government than I want to pay for.
I think we need smaller government.

They want more local intrusion by the ATF in every small town in Texas?
That's more government than I want to pay for.
I think we need smaller government, and excuse my ignorance,

...but isn't Waco a small town in Texas?
Wayne LaPierre wants more Wacos?

Remember when they used to ask the government to butt out?
Remember when they used to call the ATF, "jack-booted thugs?"
Remember when they used to say,
"We don't need some Washington federal bureaucrat taking over?"
But now Clinton's a bad man for not having more jack-booted thugs?

Mr. LaPierre, the Gore/Richardson team thanks you for putting another nail in
Smirk's coffin, or as they call him in Texas, the "Governor of Concealed Weapons."


...by the way, poor little Timmy Russert.
His debating skills have gone to shit.
He was so helpless against juggernaut LaPierre.
He tried and tried to engage LaPierre,
but poor Timmy just couldn't get into the conversation.
Since the topic had nothing to do with Clinton's cock,
poor Timmy the Whore just couln't get into the discussion.

Same thing yesterday on Reliable Sources.
Bernard Kalb, who is way too old and typewriter-shackled to be on television,
kept asking why the conviction of "Al Gore's first-and-bestest friend, ever"
Maria Hsai, (if that's how you spell it) didn't get a lot more airplay.
The panel let their guard down and told the truth.

"The story's just not sexy enough to hold our attention," they all agreed.

using less ink,
no Clinton's cock for backdoor Bettina Gregory to gush over.

This country's press will not frenzy over any story without Clinton's cock.
We should get used to that - it's not going to change.


Then he came to Gore's results in IQ tests taken in 1961 and 1964, at the
 beginning of his freshman and senior years. "One thirty-three and 134.
 Absolutely superb. That means tremendous ability."

ha ha

Can we get a peek at Smirk's I.Q.?

Helpful Mail

From: pwh011s@mail.smsu.edu

For those Republicans who need assistance concentrating while listening to
the honest, accurate and great Rush Limbaugh Radio Program,

Click Here

You're in luck!
They take credit cards!

March 18, 2000

Saturday Capitol Gang Eargasm Festival

Looks like the Capitol Gang has been reading  bartcop.com again.
They started with a discussion of Smirk's idiotic 4.3% gas tax plan,
a plan so stupid on it's face, House Republicans refused to consider it.

Then we moved to Moses and the "blood on Clinton's hands."
If I could mentally control the GOP, on my best day I couldn't be this good
at getting them to self-destruct and scare voters to the Democrat side.

I've been meaning to say this for years.
Chuck Heston has been whining and whining that Hollywood won't
hire him anymore because he's a Republican and not a Democrat.

Hey, Chuck!
That's not the reason.
You sitting down?
You ready for this?
You can't act!

That's why nobody will hire your no-talent ass.
Besides that, nobody likes you.
What's to like?

Tom Cruise can't act,
but he's cute, so he gets hired.
Your buddy Arnold can't act,
but he is (or was) an action star, so he gets hired.

Tell me, rifleboy, wht do you bring to the table?
You're not good looking,
you're older than dirt, so you can't do action movies,
and you can't fucking act, why should Hollywood hire you?

The last time you even tried to act, the monkeys stole every scene!
Maybe fifty years ago what you did passed for acting, but there's other people
in the business with talent, so duh, ...in fitting with the free market economy,
why hire an unpopular,  unattractive, talentless right-wing never-was when you
can hire better-looking, popular, mianstream artists with talent?

Sorry, that's needed to be said since Volume 1.
Let's get back to Capitol Gang.

Heston the ditto-monkey kicked off the gun segment.

Click Here

Great logic, Chuckles.
Let's see what Barney Frank does to your logic.

Click Here

But wait, Smirk has a wish we should all consider:

Click Here

Gun enforcement?
Gun enforcement?
Who's handling the Smirk this week?
Gun enforcement?

Margaret Carlson, what's wrong with Smirk?

Click Here

...and we have Al Hunt to bring it on home.

Click Here

Comedy's Rosetta Stone is in the News

 Quayle's Bust Finally Being Chiseled
 FORT WAYNE, Ind. -- (AP) -- Dan Quayle has been out of office for
 more than seven years, but he's finally getting his bust in the U.S. Capitol.

 Stone carver Vincent Palumbo, whose works range from gargoyles to St. Paul,
 soon will chisel an image of Quayle in thoughtful repose from $20,000 chunk of marble.

 When Palumbo finishes, perhaps next year, the life-size, head-and-shoulders sculpture
 will join the 43 other busts of vice presidents that line several rooms and halls of the Capitol.

 The project began with sculptor Frederick Hart, creating Quayle's bust in plaster.
 Quayle posed for several photos and a full-head mask, which were the basis
 for Hart's sculpture.

 "The Quayle family wanted the piece to appear serious and thoughtful.
 That was the direction given to the artist.
 So you might not see the piece as you might know the individual from television,"
 said The Journal Gazette of Fort Wayne.

Reliable Sources is a Classy Show

Check this graphic CNN had on during the dinner hour today

...and people fret over the language here at BartCop's treehouse?

Tengo Información Importante Del Tequila.

For those on a limited budget looking for a fine, fine tequila,

Aclamaciones - Casta Brava Reposado!

It's 100 % blue agave and it's only $18.99, at least in K-Drag, OK.
You read that correctly.
Real luxury tequila for $18.99?
That's unheard of!
This is a fine, clean luxury tequila - little brother to Casta Oro and Casta Weber Azul.

No more Sauza, no more Cuervo 1800!
It comes in a green-tinted pyramid bottle with a wooden ball cork.

Extra Bonus!

For your $18.95 (prices may vary) you get a LITER, not a 750.

Casta Tequila - Quality and Value.
You Can't Go Wrong!


When you figure the liter for $18.99, it's like getting the 750 for under $15.

Oh, Please!

Jose Cuervo undrinkable Gold pretend-tequila costs more than that.

If you're in a liquor store frequent enough for them to know your face,
ask the manager to order you some Casta Brava Reposado tequila.
Pin him down to a price before hand, because if you can get fine, luxury tequila
for the equivalent of less than $15 a bottle, you simply must do it.

Masturbation-Induced Dementia?

Smirk, say it isn't so!

Click Here

Be sure to check Letter Three in "Feedback"
Police dogs?

ha ha

(Martin, how did you find this site?)

The BartCop Snare

Click Here

March 17, 2000

 Gov Smirk's Vision of America's Future

 1. Gore invented the Internet

 2. Buddhist Temple

 3. No controlling legal authority

  The poor, stupid bastard sees that as his formula for victory.
  Meanwhile, Gore is talking health care, patient bill of rights,
  prescriptions for Medicare patients, saving social security,
  preserving the environment, etc. and the best part is...

  When they lose a third time in a row,
  they'll say it was because Smirk wasn't right-wing enough.

  Dan Quayle could manage the Gore team to victory.

You Think Monica was a Scandal?

Click Here

 Ask BartCop

 From:  zepp@snowcrest.net

 Subject: October Surprise returning?

 The new moderate regime of Iran might release old information in order to
 improve relations with America.  Will the approaching thaw in relations with
 Iran bring out the truth of  the "October Surprise" story?


 Dear Zepp,



 Breaking News from the Sabutai News Network

 U.S.-Iran Confessions

 With Secretary of State Madeleine Albright admitting CIA meddling in
 Iranian politics in 1953, it might be time for the U.S. government to
 accept offers of evidence from Iran's more-moderate government about
 how Iranian radicals meddled in American politics in 1980.

 Iranian moderates have signaled a willingness to turn over proof about
 a deal between radical Islamic leader Ruhollah Khomeini and the
 Reagan-Bush campaign in 1980. The scheme delayed release of 52 American
 hostages and destroyed President Carter politically.

 For a look at this new opportunity to clear up an old mystery, Click Here

 Begala Shoots the Bull

 The Vermont House has passed a same-sex civil union law that will allow gay
 Vermonters certain domestic rights. As a states-rights conservative, I'm sure
 Ollie will be fully supportive. I'm sure he'll have no desire for Big
 Government in Washington to dictate to the good people of Vermont. As a
 Jeffersonian conservative, I'm sure he believes the government closest to the
 people governs best.

 The Congressional Republicans called their bill outlawing gay unions
 "The Defense of Marriage Act" -- as if my marriage or yours were
 threatened by two gay people falling in love in Vermont.

 Smart Mail

 From: patc@labrada.com

 Subject: The sweet sound of chickens, thudding onto the roost.

 You gotta love the Filegate deal. The (highly partisan) independent counsel
 reports to the (even more partisan) 3 judge panel that, dig as they might,
 they could find no evidence of wrongdoing.

 SO....Now the ultraright is screaming that their own independent counsel
 must be investigated. You see, when you start with a presumption of guilt,
 it is considered a dereliction of duty to fail to find guilt. (Quick history lesson
 --THAT'S why our Constitution is constructed the 'tother way 'round.)

 Worse, (since we ARE dealing with articles of faith here), if you don't find
 that the devil's minions are guilty, that is proof beyond doubt that you
 have fallen for the devil's snares and become one of the LOST.

 This was the basic formula employed by the Inquisition, Cotton Mather, and
 Joe McCarthy. It's what the non-robotic among us will face if Robertson,
 Jones, Falwell, et.al. ever come to power. And that, according to my
 wandering mind, is why separation of Church and State is important. (And
 BTW, I'm a deeply religious, regular church-going type. I just don't happen
 to belong to the Thumbscrew branch of the religion.)


 Challenge Mail

 From:  rramey@sowashco.k12.mn.us

 Subject: Republicans

 Click Here

Clinton's Cleared in "Filegate" Sham, Larry Klayman Has Cow

There never was any "Filegate" crimes - we knew that half a decade ago.
Larry Klayman, the man without a penis, is having a cow over this.

Click Here   to see how insane with rage this opportunitic shit is.

A Story About My Old Friend G. Gordon Liddy

From: jam@unlimitedmedia.com

Mr. Cop,
Sorry to bother you again but, I had to tell this to someone and since you
have a blurb about Liddy on the site, you get it.

April, 1998. G. Gordon Liddy is doing his radio hate show from Cincinnati. I
had sent him a copy of a movie I did called LIVE NUDE SHAKESPEARE.
He liked the concept and loved the girls.

It was arranged that I bring one of the girls appearing in the movie to the
motel where his show was being aired and she and Liddy would recite Shakespeare
while she stripped. A curtain was erected so that no child’s eyes would be scarred
from seeing a woman without clothes and the game was afoot.

Sydney and Liddy said a few lines from Shakespeare’s works while she took
her clothes off and threw them over the curtain at the audience. I was
amazed how much of a pig Liddy’s producer was. He kept sneaking over to look
at her and finally Liddy told him to cool it.

Before and after the “strip” thing, Liddy held the video box in his hand and
made many positive comments about the movie.
I was in heaven. I knew that we would sell a boatload just from this gig
(we sold 25 copies).

I spoke with Liddy backstage and asked if I could take a few photos
of him holding the video for my website (where I sell the video).
He said absolutely no problem.

Off I went to alter the site and make sure the idiots that actually listen
to him knew they were in the right place.
A few months pass and suddenly, I get a letter from Liddy’s son’s law firm
stating that they are taking me to court for using his father’s name and likeness
and demanding they get 50% of the money made from the sale of this video.
I was shocked!

I called his office the next day - nothing.
I called his father’s office the next day - nothing.
I Emailed Liddy explaining - nothing.

A week later I get another letter from his son saying that I have 24 hours
to remove any instance of his father’s name or likeness from the site.
I complied and never heard from anyone about this again. I am still pissed
about this since I had an agreement with Liddy himself to do everything I
did. Is this the type of American we need speaking on the radio?
Another idiot republican two face?

Since I had a quote from Liddy on the box cover, I also had to have
different boxes made at an expense of $2000. Well over what I ever expect to
make from the movie.

Thanks for letting me rage at you.

I'll post it!

Liddy don't want no part of Ol' BartCop.
Liddy has bragged on the air that he had to have "testicle reduction surgery."
I'd enjoy giving him another ride on that pony!

ha ha


That Loon Traficant's Mob Ties

 Click Here     then Here

 C'mon, Ohio, dump this loser!
 He's not on our team.

 He's so crooked, his picture is losing integrity.

 Texas Gas Tax Update

 From: David_McGriffy@Dell.com

 Subject: Texas Gas Tax


 I doubt if he could get it done by Monday. Texas has the good sense to only
 let the ledge meet every other year for only a few months. They aren't in
 Austin right now. And remember how big this state is. It could take till
 Monday just for some of them to drive to Austin.


 "every other year?"

 You mean the Texas legislature goes an entire year without meeting?
 That doesn't sound like "responsive" government.
 I find that hard to believe, but you've never misled me before...

 But if I can drive to Las Vegas in 18 hours, "the ledge" can surely cross
 Texas in less than three days for Smirk's "emergency" legislation.


Jethro has six letters.
George has six letters.

Jethro is 6'4", 225 lbs., with black hair.
George is 6'4", 225 lbs., with black hair.

Jethro had an I.Q. of 88.
George has an I.Q. of 88.

Jethro was easily manipulated by Mr. Drysdale, a millionaire banker.
George is easily manipulated by millionaire bankers.

Jethro was rich only because of his uncle's success in the oil business.
George is rich only because of his father's success in the oil business.

Jethro's uncle's name was "Jed."
George's brother's name is "Jeb."

Jethro worked with Irene Ryan.
George worked with Nolan Ryan.

Jethro's Uncle Jed had $70 million dollars, but it didn't change who he  was.
George spent $70 million dollars to try to change who he is.

Jethro had comical misunderstandings on a weekly basis because of his
poor grasp of the English language.
George has comical misunderstandings on a daily basis because of his
poor grasp of the English language.

Jethro failed at many jobs (astronaut, double-naught spy)
because of  his idiocy.  His family always bailed him out.
George failed at many jobs (Harken Energy, dope pusher, etc.)
because of  his idiocy.  His family always bailed him out.

Jethro's uncle had to get him out of jail in one episode.
George's father had to get him out of jail one time.

Jethro's well-meaning uncle tried to get him jobs he was unqualified for
to keep him out of trouble.
George's well-meaning father tries to get him jobs he is unqualified for
to keep him out of trouble.

Jethro was well liked by Ellie Mae's trained monkeys.
George is well liked by Rush's trained ditto-monkeys.

Jethro's dog's name was "Duke."
George acts like David Duke.

Jethro used a giant spoon to eat homemade cereal from a giant bowl.
George used a giant coke spoon and smoked  homegrown from a giant bowl.

In one episode, Jethro crashed his car into his granny's liquor still,
creating a big pile of garbage.
George once crashed his car into his father's garbage cans
while full of liquor.

Jethro still acted like a child, even at the age of 30.
George refers to his 30's as "my childhood."

Have you ever seen George W. and Jethro together?
Why not???

Because George W. is really Jethro Bodine.

by Joe C.

March 16, 2000

 Idea for Smirk

 Hey, Smirk!
 You're attacking Clinton the Champ for that tiny four cent gasoline tax?
 You think 4 cents is going to save America's economy?

 What the hell is four cents, anyway?
 I guarantee you go to any gas station in America.
 Check the price, then look across the street.
 You see that other gas station over there?
 Their gas is four cents cheaper, you idiot!
 Four cents ain't shit!

 Hey, Smirk!
 Want to be a hero?
 You're attacking Clinton for that tiny four cent gasoline tax.
 Yet Texas has a TWENTY cent tax on gasoline.

 Quick, Smirk!
 What's bigger?

 Four cents or TWENTY cents?

 If the bad, bad Clinton monster won't let you save America,
 why don't you save Texas and repeal the TWENTY cent Texas gasoline tax?
 A "uniter" like yourself surely could get the Texas legislature to go along, right?
 Why didn't you think of that, Smirk?
 Why did Ol' BartCop come up with that idea before you did?
 ( Good God, Smirk!
   If you can't outwit Ol' BartCop, imagine what Gore's gonna do to your bony ass!)

 Here's what you do:
 Pick up the phone.
 Call some Texas representative, have him draft a bill to drop the tax by 20 cents.
 Tell him to rush it to the Texas capitol.
 Tell him to tell every Texas lawmaker, that anyone who refuses to get behind this bill
 will see his name Tuesday in the Dallas Morning Whore and he's a goner!

 Then pick up a pen.
 Sign the son-of-a-bitch and PROVE to America you're not a lying demagogue.
 Now - you're the hero of Texas, you made Clinton/Gore eatit
 and you're suddenly the front-runner for a job you can't handle.
 But you're NOT going to do that, are you, Smirk?

 You big, lying pussy!

 If you started right now, that tax could be repealed by Monday.
 But nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
 You're not going to repeal shit because Texas needs that money!

 You big dumbass!

 Smirk, you ignorant slut!
 You're going to fuck this Jaguar deal for me, aren't you?
 Your bungling stupidity is going to keep me poor.

 C'mon, Smirk!
 Aren't you even gonna try?

 How about Richard Nixon's Advice from Beyond the Grave?

 First, think of a question for Ol' Dick, then  Click Here!

 Can anybody tell me what this is?

 Unless I had a tequila blackout, I didn't do this.

 Also, there's a BartCop onelist thing.
 I don't know how those work, exactly,
 but shouldn't I be involved if it's a BartCop onelist?

 Somebody who knows what that is,
 or who did it, or how it works, let me know.

 Things are getting a little scary.... .

 Smirk and Red Panties?

 You Gotta Click Here!

 Mail Bag

 I was just letting my mind wander.

 Imagine if the Nazis had won the war.
 Greater Germany probably would have mellowed out a bit by now.
 Two Nazis are running for Fuehrer.

 Hans calls attention to his war record as a tank commander in France and the Ukraine,
 and accuses Fritz of dodging the draft with a cushy job on the home front.
 Fritz insists that his stint as a concentration camp guard was honorable service.


 It's Been a While

 From:  tmcjahren@arlingtoncp.com

 Subject: Eureka!!!!!!!!!

 I've listened to your clips and I'm convinked!yes you have made me  a total belever. You have been able to made me see the truth. And truth is  your heering things. Like a fifteen year kid who plays records bacdwards
 tohear the 'devil speak' you are imagining phrsaes coming from people's verbal mistakes.

 You are a freak.

 You use unfunded insults, and unfunded personal attacks on Limbaugh when you really  have no substantal, nosubstanshal, ...no reel proof proof for your conclusions.
 Calling people Nazis? The most evil and sadastic grope to walk the face earth, and you call Limbaugh onlebecause you don't agree with him? He has never said  anything about jenocide or impiled inany way peopel shoud be executed at masse.

 Its always the same with you liberals, when you can't fight the basic tuth you attack withlibrel and insulted give me a break you are the wons who are super defensife because  you know you arguements weak false and ilocigal so what if he gloses over some of the  hipocritical behavior of republican I knowthey are asses too but you deny the bald facet
 lies that come out of beloved rapists mouth I truly beleve you are morale bankrupt saying you are doing the right thing is not enough your web site attacks Bush for the reduced  social pograms in Texas  Hey geveruess what  its not our responsibality to pay for a social  programs beyond helping disabled orphans veterans, and the elderly  screw the scummy
 drudges and whores in the inner city. And here

 is the logic - liberals want to separation of church and state social programs is based on  compassion, which is based on morale which is based in religion so without religion there  is no basis for social programs. So state programs have no business forcing be compassionate.  And don't you dare try to say you are somehow more loving or understanding proponent
 of diversity. You portrayed a black man Clarence Thomas as as ape you racist baster.
 You are a wast of human skim.

 Tim McJahren

 Pigboy - STOP IT!!!

 The nasty Pigboy just played an interview with some trucker
 who said before the price of gas went up, he only made $20 a day.

 He said with the price of gas going up, he's losing $150 a day,
 which might be true, but what idiot works for a net loss when you can
 stay home and watch Oprah or Rosie the backstabbing slut for free?

 Why would that lying, mother trucker say that?
 How stupid does he think Rush's sheep are?

 I trapped myself again!

 Now, I've got nothing against the truckers, but that guy is a lying sumbitch.
 You can torture french fries for Ann Coulter and make $100 a day.

 (sorry, that was just an excuse to re-run this picture)

 Is that Ann Clouter?
 Or is that Barbara Olson?
 I'm sure that clown doesn't care!
 Look at that smile on his face!!
 I think Barbara Olson's about to find out where the Secret Sauce comes from.

 Paula Begala Shoots the Bull

 In a case of poetic justice, as Hill Republicans are distancing themselves from Bush,
 they are rushing to suck up to President Clinton. Even rabid-right-wing House manager
 James Rogan, one of the 13 angry men who tried to remove our President, was at the
 White House yesterday, kissing the President's...hand...and endorsing his gun safety bill.

 The President was gracious and bipartisan, but I love to see those right-wingers grovel.

Our First Female Cartoonist - Jenny Q!!!

Dow Goes Crazy!

The Dow went up 500 points today, and 320 yesterday.

Thank yeeeeeeeeew, Bill Clinton!
(Remember, yesterday Ollie North admitted this was the "Clinton-Gore economy.")

Deja Voodoo

The Politics of Gas Prices, 2000

Top aides to Bush said the governor believes it is time to roll back all or part of
the 4.3 cents-a-gallon increase to the federal gasoline tax that was enacted in 1993.
Congressional GOP leaders have been urging Bush to propose just that in recent days
as a means of helping motorists cope with the sharp rise in gasoline prices.

Bush aides said the governor was still considering when and how to make known
his support for the idea, but his position is firm.

Is Governor Smirk caught in some worm-hole for losers?
Poor Old Bob Dole faught and lost this battle 4 years ago.

The Politics of Gas Prices, 1996

(The red type is verbatim from RL-LNW Vol 18, waaaaaay back in early 1996.
 Check it, if you think this is a BartCop gag)

George Will, no liberal, says a family taking an 800-mile vacation by car
would save $5 if Bob Dole is able to repeal the 4.3 cent Clinton tax on gas.
Bob Dole's going to cut into Clinton's 21-point lead this way?
Saving a family $5 per year on their vacation?

One other thing about this phoniest-of issues.
(Let me do this like the GOP did the budget.)

What's bigger?
Ten cents or 4.3 cents??

Dole voted FOR the last 2 gas tax increases.
Christ, he wrote the first of the two.

They were each a nickle.
Two nickles equal a dime, Bob.

Why is repealling Clinton's 4.3 cents more important than repealling Senator Straddle's 10 cents?

Governor Smirk, aren't you even going to try?
You're following in Bob Dole's loser footsteps.

Can't your feeble brain remember 1996?
Are you going to repeat every Bob Dole mistake?

What's next, Smirk?
Milk is more harmful than cigarettes?

Mrs. BartCop isn't going to get that Jag, is she...

Cunningham Strikes!


An Advance Look at Smirk's Cabinet

 Click Here

 We can't forget what those bastards tried to do to our electoral process.
 This page tells you what steps can be taken to cause the defeat of such
 criminals such as House Mana-bastard McCollum, House Mana-bastard Rogan,
 and breathing waaaaay to hard about Monica Senator J.O. Ashcroft of Missouri.

 We need to be sure every house manager goes down, so to speak.
 Some, like Henry can-I-break-up-your-family Hyde may be too entrenched,
 but the very least we should do let's make Mana-bastards like James Rogan,
 Lindsey Graham, Bill McCollum, Asa Hutchison and Charles Canady eat it.

 As we get closer to the general election, we'll highlight each of these whores
 and see if we can't fix them up with a can of Whoop-Ass.

James Traficant

I have a feeling this is going to be Bad-Language Thursday.

I just checked that ignorant slut's web page.  Click Here
This guy is a fucking loon!
Look at his web page.
This nut thinks he's Buford Pusser!

Click on this loon's picture and see what you get.
I feel so sorry for the people of Ohio!

Suddenly, I feel less embarrassed about Sen. Pissquick,
and this kook is a Democrat?

I don't like being in the same party as this asshole.
If there's any redeeming quality to this idiot,
 you'd better let me know - fast, or I'm going to contact
his Republican opponent and send him money.

Maybe this crazy bastard thinks he's Bulworth or something,
but I don't like him and I'll pay to retire him.

Maybe someone from Ohio could contact me with some facts.
1. Am I wrong? Is he the loon he appears to be?
2. Is his GOP opponent worse than him?  (Hard to believe)
3. If he's so anti-White House, why isn't he a Republican?


Is it against the law for a former felon to ATTEMPT to buy a gun?
Is that what the NRA is squawking about?

G. Gordon Liddy is a seven-time felon.
If he tries to buy a gun, is he turned away or arrested?

Is that why the NRA has their panties in a wad?
Are they insisting that Clinton hire more jack-booted thugs
to hang around gun shops and gun shows and arrest anyone
who tries to illegally purchase a firearm?

Let's clear this up.
It's my understanding they turn you away -
like when you don't have an ID and you try to buy liquor.

Perhaps a pro-NRA member could write in - NOT to argue or debate,
just to explain what the NRA means when they claim Clinton refuses
to arrest the lawbreakers.

Remember, we tried this a few months ago.
I called Inhofe, Largent, Nickles offices and asked them and all they
could do was cough and stutter and suggest I check Trafficant's web site.

Trafficant, a Democrat, is a fucking loon who needs to retire.
His argument, that allllllllllllllllll the GOP embraces is,
"Beam me up, Mr Speaker."

That's how Largent, Inhofe and Nickles explain this never-ending charge
that Clinton is soft on gun criminals?

"Beam me up, Mr. Speaker?"

Meanwhile, children are shooting each other,
and a Democrat is leading the GOP attack against Clinton?


I have another call in to Senator Inhofe's office.
Maybe I'll get more than last time, when they directed me to
a traitorous democrat's web-site of jibberish.

10:20 CST

Update: I just got one civilian opinion that it IS illegal to ATTEMPT
to buy a gun, and none of those people are ever arrested.

Here comes my favorite word:
IF  that's the case, then I'd say Clinton has some explaining to do.

If this is a matter of "we can't afford more cops," then let's do
what the NRA suggests and hire more cops and arrest these people.
To make the NRA happy, let's pay for a cop at every gun shop and every
gun show and take this issue away from the NRA.

But this is an opinion by a bystander.
I'd sure like to get the facts.
I called the NRA - nothing.
Nothing but recorded tips on how to sign up.
I tried the NRA website - nothing but tips on how to sign up
Oh, well, maybe Inhofe's office will call.

Democratic Landslide?


Click on "Massabama" for the full story.

 Breakin' The Law

 From: uncledooshbag@hotmail.com

 Subject: An alternative candidate

 I don't care what you think about Al Gore or GW, you have got to admit,
 deep down, that they are both pretty weak choices for the highest office in
 the land. I mean, the last time we had this sorry a field of candidates...

 I guess you could always wish for stronger candidates, but the fact is,
 one of these men has seven year's experience at the highest levels.
 The other one is "qualified" because he wasn't involved in impeachment.

 Thus, having reflected on the nature of the upcoming election, I have
 decided that I have but one option left open. Uncle Duke. I fully intend to
 write in the Doonesbury character on my ballot. That way I can still bitch
 because, no matter WHO wins, I didn't vote for the bastard.

 -wastin' away again in marijuanaville...

 Rob Halford

 Uncle Duke would be more fun to cover than Smirk.
 By the way, you're no Jimmy Page,
 but I've always enjoyed your music.

I Got Light-headed When I Read This


So.... the past is relevant if it involves shitting on the Dems,
but it's not relevant if it involves Shrub snorting rails
off some guy's cock in a coffin?

...getting very dizzy,

...room spinning,


Update on Yesterday's Michael Jackson Retraction

I'm starting to get e-mail messages addressed to "King BartCop - The Legend."
It was a joke - you can stop now.

It was a joke.
It was yesterday's joke, for Christ's sake.

My Man Smirk

From:   kishrandy@hotmail.com

My friend works for a company that provides services at the Governor's
Mansion in Austin, Texas. When he was working one day, Shrub came
in and was asked for an autograph by one of my buddie's co-workers.
Shrub said sure, and then became confused when he realized that he couldn't
spell her name.

Her name???

Not Chrysanthenum.
Not Constantinople.
...but the ever difficult "Agnes."

(He also made several derogatory remarks to my buddy after the girl left, including
 "What kind of person names their kid Agnes?").

See, that's the kind of Compassionate Conservatism that I'm looking forward to.

Randi Kish

ha ha

I couldn't make this up...

See Previous Issue

Back to the  bartcop.com  home page
Powered by counter.bloke.com


Privacy Policy
. .