Sent in by: John.Elliott@bain.com
Thanks, John
Guest Editorial
From: Captn_Television@yahoo.com
Subject: Acting While Black
The stories have been in the newz lately. You know, Driving while
Black.
Racial profiling by various po-lice agencies. While some of these
forces
claim it's not true, ask your average black person what they
think. I mean to
get through Beverly Hills without getting stopped as a black
man you have to
hang a lawn mower out the back of your car.
As I tried to sit still and through the seemingly endless academy
awards last
night, I started to mentally figure out how many black people
have been
awarded a best or supporting actor/actress award.
Hmm...2 divided by three, plus 8 carry the one, minus 6....not
too dang many
and that Dumpster breath, is my final answer.
Still I hung on til the end for best actor award because Denzel
Washington is
about as deserving as they come. Never mind he's black, he's
a great actor.
Remember St. Elsewhere, how about Malcolm X?
Regardless of what you think of Malcolm X, Denzel was
Malcolm!
How about the lawyer Andrew Beckett in Philadelphia?
How about Bone Collector, and that submarine movie,
and yes how about Hurricane?
Math computations just came in, one black man has won one, yes
I said one,
best actor, in 1963, Sidney Potier won for Lilies of the Field.
I just happen
to see that movie recently and it's okay, but Denzel can act
rings
around
that guy. Which brings me to Kevin Spaceman.
What the heck has he been in that's any good? He mugged and hammed
his way
through American Beauty. Annette Benning did a better
job than Spaceman did
and she won squat. Kevin needs to learn how to kiss.....a woman
by the way.
He got shot and dumped out early of LA Confidential. He
was evil in that movie
The Garden of Good and Evil, and he's been in other movies
that no one remembers
or cares about. What happened to body of work and characterization
skills?
Kevin's must be lost in a Dumpster somewhere in LA too.
The Academy is apparently engaged in racial profiling of its own.
You can get up on stage and talk about abortion rights, and how
great it is to be gay
or how great Hollywood is for making movies about girls acting
and looking like men,
but you just can't be black. I would tell Denzel, next year buddy,
bring your lawn mower with you into the auditorium!
Stuff I Missed
From: ranting_wacko@hotmail.com
Subject: Oscars Report
Billy Crystal a great line.
"The Wall Street Journal's claims notwithstanding, the Oscar Winners
are
probably the best kept secret in America...
With the possible exception of what George W. Bush did in the 70's."
Butch the Lesser
From: richard.rite@huckabee.com
Friday, the last day of classes before spring
break, Butch the Lesser
visited my son's school, Little Rock
Central High.
(This is the segregated school Pres Eisenhower sent jack-booted
thugs to integrate.)
Interestingly enough, the students were
warned AWAY from the library, the site
of the 'event' and only 3 students were
allowed in, one of whom is the daughter
of our GOP governor. The students were
even told that if they looked out the
windows, they might be sniped.
Ouch.
And of the 3 students allowed in, one of
them, the Prez of the student body,
kicked Butch the Lesser's ass in debate.
I bet he was a lot nicer to Butchie than Al Gore will be.
Richard
Richard - No doubt.
Editor's note: Richard is the only person to
ever reach BartCop by phone.
Plag City
I wonder if that old hag Kato Burn reads bartcop.com?
On Saturday's Capitol Gang, she said,
"There may not be anything incriminating on those White House
e-mails,
but President Clinton always acts so guilty, so Burton
has to investigate."
From bartcop.com March 24 (below)
Clinton deserves some of the blame for
prolonging this.
Like an unwatched teenage boy teasing
a dog, he's poking Burton with a stick.
There's nothing in those e-mails, but
Clinton wants Burton and the others to think there is.
Kato could at least mention where she stole that...
Paul Begala Shoots the Bull
Guess Who's Cratering?
The ultra-right New York Post even says so.
According to the latest Zogby poll,
Rudy shows a ten-point turnaround in just three
weeks. Julie Annie is in a free fall,
dropping seven points statewide, and losing big-time
among Hispanics, Jews,
and the key upstate cities of Albany, Rochester
and Buffalo.
Hillary is in the lead for the first time in
seven months.
Pollster Zogby says, "We've seen the tide turn."
Hillary couldn't lose this election if she tried.
Another One Bites
I hear that Mike Malloy of WLS in Chicago has been fired.
First rumors indicate it was because he was "too liberal."
(He had Gene Lyons and my good friend Joe Conason on the day
before.)
Can anybody confirm?
Where his numbers down?
Is K-Drag radio Nazi Michael Del Giorno right?
Liberals can't draw a one-share?
Mail Bag
From: pianopete@earthlink.net
Subject: Could you explain...
...why exactly you think Bush won't win
the nomination?
As much as that would delight me, I can't
see how that would even be possible.
Aren't the delegates required to vote for
him by law?
Ben
Ben,
The first time I saw Smirk, I thought, "They must be kidding."
I knew right away - this jerk is cotton candy!
I thought I could beat Smirk in an election.
Smirk's approval used to be around 70 percent, or maybe he had
70 percent of the GOP voters behind him, something like that.
I knew that couldn't last.
I knew, and this has come true, that the more people saw of Smirk,
the more they would come to dislike him.
Did you see all those polls last week that said, "Smirking rich
asshole"
was the first words people used when asked to describe him?
The Republicans will certainly have their third defeat in a row
if they try
to run that snotty, stupid, spoiled rich kid for president.
Each week goes by pushes Smirk farther down the approval chart.
The latest polls show Gore ahead of Smirk.
This is driving the GOP even more crazy.
The GOP will soon realize their only choice is the "Hail Mary."
As bad as it will look, they're going to dump Smirk and gamble
with McCain,
because it least he has a chance to win, unlike that snotty
Blow Monkey.
They're going to have to sack Gov Smirk between now and the convention.
Remember: They media hasn't even STARTED on Smirk yet.
You think I'm kidding about Smirk's hidden Margarita?
You think I'm kidding about his lil' habanero?
You think I'm kidding about proof of his cocaine arrest?
And don't forget those red panties....
I don't know the legalities of the delegates, but if they force
Smirk out,
surely those delegates will be released to John McCain.
McCain knows this is going to happen.
Keep in mind the very true article All
Eyes On Hatch.
McCain didn't release his delegates for a very good reason.
Reminder
I'm pretty sure I was the first "journalist" to predict that
Smirk would not
be the Republican's nominee this year. (I may be the only one, I'm
not sure.)
I'm trying to locate the first mention of this prediction, chasing back
issues,
but time is so hard to come by these days...
If anyone runs across that, please let me know.
It was written back when McCain was still at 3 or 5 percent.
I just wanted to re-affirm that that prediction still stands.
Smirk might make it to the convention,
but he won't leave the convention with the nomination.
When that happens, when the big media boys say,
"Nobody - but nobody saw this coming,"
you'll know they were wrong again.
Tequila Update
Somebody, I can't remember who, strongly suggested I try Tres Generaciones.
This is a Sauza product, moderately priced at $25 a bottle.
Friday, I took Mrs. BartCop to that Mexican restaurant that had the
pictures
of the tequila bottles on their menu, for the word-challenged tequila
drinker.
Cubby, our dumb-ass waiter, couldn't remember which tequilas I requested,
so he took my menu with the pictures to the bartender.
I guess that pencil in his hand was just to make him look smart?
Anyway, I tried Tres Generaciones for the first time Friday night.
It's very, very fine tequila.
It's smooth and clean.
I looked up it's attributes:
Sauza Tres Generaciones embodies centuries of family tradition,
quality and excellence.
The 100% blue agave, ultra premium anejo tequila is aged for up to
six years in small
oak barrels which results in a tequila of unparalleled richness.
- Color : Pale Antique Gold.
- Aroma : Dry floral and moderate earthy
agave.
- Body : Sweet in the mouth
with smooth complexity.
- Taste : A soft blend
of pepper and oak, with a slight hint of butterscotch.
- Finish : Clean and smooth.
Whoever recommended Sauza Tres Generaciones knows what he's talking
about.
The only bad news is the bottle - can't see thru it.
I need to know where I'm at.
It's dangerous to not have a clue how much is gone.
Next weekend, I plan to give it another series of tests.
Tres Generaciones - fine tequila.
One thing to remember:
Once you get to 100 percent blue agave, it's a matter of taste.
The Tres has a soft blend of pepper and oak, with a hint of
butterscotch.
Compare to, say, Chinaco.
It's attributes:
Medium-straw, has subtle aromas of pear, wild
flowers, vanilla, smoke and baked apple,
edged with papaya and mango. The flavours
are very rich and compex, with exceptional
depth, balance and style, ending in a luscious,
spicy, smokey finish.
Barrel aged for up to four years.
I don't understand all that pear and mango bullshit,
I just know the good stuff from the bad.
You like the Tres, I like the Chinaco.
Sometime we should get together and buy each other shots
and see who can out-argue the other after a couple of hours :)
Ask BartCop
From: wwilson@psiwest.com
Dear BartCop,
When Shania Twain moans, "Man, I feel like
a woman,"
is she expressing hidden, lesbian tendencies?"
Warren
Dear Warren,
Ask again later.
BartCop
Oscar 2000
Mrs. BartCop insisted on watching the Joan Rivers pre-game warm-up.
I know Joan Rivers, but I've never seen her Oscar show before this
last Sunday.
I've heard about her pre-Oscar ambushes, but I wasn't prepared
for what I saw.
I'd heard she gets "irreverent" with guests, but this was too awful
for words.
It was like watching Howard Stern with all the vulgarity but none of
the jokes.
"Ambush" is certainly the correct name for what she does.
They might as well save some money and let Stuttering John do it.
I don't know how it could have been any worse.
Jesus, it was embarrassing.
How could "E!" do this?
She was picking her nose with an Oscar.
Maybe that's funny stuff to some people, but this was a night when Hollywood
goes formal with their tuxes and their $10,000 dresses and $100,000
necklaces,
and Joan Rivers is picking her nose with an Oscar?
She had a bag of props like she was f-ing Carrot Top.
Worst of all, none of the props were funny.
Joan stuck her head inside a door in a hall, musses up her hair,
then comes out and says, "I had time for a quick schtoop."
Is that funny in Hollywood in 2000?
She and her twelve writers have had a YEAR to write material for this
show.
I promise you, there's been issues of RL-LNW that were funnier than
her.
Her next prop?
A box of tampons.
She handed them to a younger woman saying, "I don't need these,
anymore."
Geez, Joan, thanks for the scoop..
Why not put a few in your mouth and choke on 'em?
Crude and vulgar are only acceptable if it's damn funny.
Last night, Joan Rivers was just crude and vulgar.
I know who Melissa Rivers is, but never saw her perform until yesterday.
Compared to her mother, she was Regis Philbin.
I wonder how Melissa felt watching her mom doing tampon jokes?
Then the stars started to arrive.
The first starlet was dressed-to-kill and Joan asks her if she shaved
down
there.
Again, Stern can get away with that, but this was worse than bad.
Poor Joan Rivers - reduced to doing donkey noises and poopie jokes..
I'm so old, I remember when Joan Rivers was funny.
I got embarrassed watching Ms. Vulgar with Mrs. BartCop.
I can't imagine watching it with the conservative side of my family,
or kids.
The ceremony itself was mostly by-the-book.
I liked Billy's opening with him being in all the movies.
I remember one good line he had - "Dr Laura wanted to be here,
but she couldn't find anyone in Hollywood willing to do her make-up."
ha ha
That slut deserves it.
Who was the biggest star in the house?
Musta been Jack Nicholson.
Did you notice anything strange about Jack?
The entire night, the whooooole night, whenever they showed Jack,
they were sure not to show the woman to his left.
Was it Lara Flynn Boyle?
Are they still together?
Was my New Year's Eve prediction correct?
That's very strange to avoid shooting the date of the biggest star
in the house.
Best dress of the night?
I'll go with Salma Hayek.
(Click pic)
Cher apologized "for dressing like an adult."
I think we should say something about Ashley Judd.
She got up in front of that crowd and did not expose her genitalia.
I guess her therapist is doing good work with her.
Remember her last Oscar appearance?
Robin Williams brought the house down with his PG version of "Blame
Canada."
Did you see Trey (on the right) from South Park dressed like Jennifer
Lopez?
(Click pic)
ha ha
That took balls.
I should take back some of my anti-Hilary Swank rhetoric.
I didn't see "Boys Don't Cry."
Last night, they made it sound like a serious movie.
I thought it was a "Tootsie" kind of deal.
She may have been the best acceptor, but I liked Warren Beatty, too.
Wasn't it good to see Isaac Hayes again?
"Shaft" was a real movie song.
Most of those performed last night were funeral songs.
The Oscars ran so long, I didn't get to see "The Sopranos."
That'll be corrected tonight.
Got a Minute?
You might give Chihuahuaboy a look.
He's got tons of links you won't find
anywhere else.
Be sure to click on Josef Stalin for some funny
MP3s.
Check under "Unintentional Humor" for the Republic of Texas
and get help decorating your home with "Gothic Martha Stewart."
Tons of good links.
It's BartCop recommended.
Cunningham Strikes!
Undergoing massive scandisk/defrag due to.
an inadvertent computer glitch in my incoming
E-mail.
Maybe Larry Klayman will sue me...
Smokin' Joe Conason
I just now had a chance to watch the video of my good friend
Joe Conason
and his partner Gene Lyons on Hannity and Colmes a few days ago.
You know how every Fox show bullies their guests into submission?
Hannity tried that with Joe Conason and Joe made him eat it.
Here are three killer audio clips from just the first five minutes.
Hannity starts out calling the Clintons "the biggest liars in history."
Most Fox Whore guests just sit there and take the abuse, like Colmes
does,
but Smokin' Joe stood up and shut Hannity's lies down instantly, right
to his face.
When Hannity makes the phony claim that, "The Clinton's are the biggest
liars ever,"
Joe smacks him with a BartCop staple - "Compared to whom?"
Listen to Eargasm One
ha ha
Conason made Hannity eat it, right there on his own damn show.
Hannity wasn't able to answer a simple "Yes-No" question about Reagan?
"It's too complicated." Hannity begs. "I can't answer a simple question like that.,"
Then Hannity lies about Reagan's motives.
"He can't talk about a covert operation!"
But Reagan was talking about a covert operation at a live press
conference.
Once again, Joe Conason shuts down the Fox Whore stream of lies.
Next up is a quickie on "following the money."
Listen to Eargasm Two
Excellent point Joe and Gene both make.
Right-wing Clinton-haters were dragging hundreds of thousands of dollars
through trailer parks in Arkansas, finding scores of whores willing
to sell their soul.
They found lots and lots of stories, but never any proof.
This next one is the best of the lot, and we're still in the first five
minutes!
Joe and Gene are explaining the legal facts about the Paula Jones affidavit.
Here are the facts: Paula filed her suit on the basis of job
discrimination,
saying she was passed over for raises because she didn't give in to
Clinton.
Joe and Gene point out that she DID get raises.
All she ever missed out on was flowers on secretary's day.
She outright lied, so there was never any legal reason for this lawsuit
to go anywhere.
But Richard Mellon Scarfe hates Clinton, so fuck the American constitution.
So Hannity, losing this round, changes the subject AGAIN!
Hannity wants to know if Joe was in the hotel room!
Horseshit!
That's not the subject on the table.
The subject is Paula Jones's false affadavit, not the Excelsior hotel.
Hannity knows this, he's just getting his brains beat in so he switches
the subject and runs to a commercial for cover, hoping the sheep
don't catch on to what a fool he's been made of.
Here we go:
The always quick-witted Hannity tries to change the subject
and Smokin' Joe slaps him so hard Hannity has to go to a commercial.
Listen to Eargasm Three
This is how the right-wing fools pretend to "win" their arguments.
It's the same for Rush, Laura, and every show on Fox Whore News.
You make a silly-ass charge and hope the Democrats doesn't have the
balls
to say, "Hold it - that's not true, that's a damn lie," like Conason
does.
It's not smart to pull on Conason's cape...
More to Come
Celebrity Mail
From:Hudly55@aol.com
Subject: McCain a Reagan Republican
BC,
Look at what McCain is doing in the aftermath
of his loss to Smirk.
Pigboy keeps hammering McCain for doing
exactly what his hero Reagan did in 76.
And that is don't campaign for the nominee,
let the poor SOB lose by 1.5 % of
the vote and then take over the party four
years later.
Pigboy's got to know this is what's happening
but too gutless to admit it.
I tried to get on the show today to point
this out but could not get through.
You have a obligation to clue the severe
ditto-monkeys in on this.
McCain is a Reagan Republican.
Bernie
Look who it is!
It's my good friend Bernie,
the guy who kicked Rush's ass live on the EIB!
Good point about McCain, Bernie.
...and thanks for writing!
E-mail-gate Continues
Y'know, these "mystery" e-mails are all incoming.
I sent 145 issues of RL-LNW to the White House.
I know they read some of them, because David Kendal and Greg Craig
"borrowed" some lines from RL-LNW during impeachment.
Do you think Larry Klayman,
the man with no penis,
might subpoena me?
Wouldn't it be great if the Watermelon Man sent me a subpoena?
Shit, I'd buy a new suit if I was going under oath against Dan Burton
on live TV.
Can they hold you in Contempt of Congress for bad language?
Koresh, that gets me excited!
Could a few of you out there do me a favor and contact judicialwatch.org
and tell them I have big-time dirt on Clinton & Gore
Tell him my real name is Bartcop Huong Trie.
Over at stopdrlaura.com
they asked for suggestions for slogans
that they could put on their banners to show how they felt.
I could only think of one.
LUCK DR. FAURA
Protesting the Fire C*nt
Gore Speaks Gibberish
From: JennyQ1@aol.com
Subject: HA HAAAA
http://www.newsday.com/ap/national/ap913.htm
(story on Gore visit to a school)
Excerpt:
Weirdest was Gore's foray into Sally Hannert's drama class, where
the kids
volunteered him for the lead role in one of their ''gibberish''
exercises.
Gore looked wary as Hannert asked, ''Can you speak gibberish?''
''Unfortunately, yes,'' he chuckled.
His assignment: act without using real words the part of a father
scolding
his daughter for bad grades. Gore performed with great flourish
and
animation: ''Wa woo ubb wuh, wuh-bub. ...''
Asked later if Gore had practiced for his nonsense babble, campaign
press
secretary Chris Lehane quipped, ''We're getting ready for our
debates with Bush.''
ha ha
Thanks to JennyQ, one of the pillars that holds
bartcop.com
together
Are You Ready for a Nazi?
A Monday Night Nazi?
Subject: Rush on MNF
Regarding Rush on MNF, how would he justify working for a company that
gives benefits to "fags" and their "fag partners?"
Interesting dilemma for His Roundness.
How can you hate gays and then campaign to work
for a company that "enables" gays?
What to do?
I guess if Disney pays him enough, gays are ok.
Mike K
Mike,
Correctamundo!
If Rush could make $20,000,000 being straight,
or make $20,000,010 being gay, he'd be gay.
Cough!
From: jsw1@hotmail.com
Subject: Got Heartburn?
>>Heartburn Drug Removed From Market
>WASHINGTON (AP) - The popular heartburn drug Propulsid, which
has
>been associated with 80 deaths, will no longer be marketed after
>July, except in special circumstances, its maker and federal
>regulators said. Known chemically as cisapride, the drug has
been
>prescribed for patients who suffer severe heartburn, or
>gastroesophageal reflux disease, and have not responded to other
>drugs. Manufacturer Janssen Pharmaceutica of Titusville, N.J.,
>said Thursday it no longer would market the drug as of July
14.
>The company, a subsidiary of Johnson & Johnson, acted in
>consultation with the Food and Drug Administration.
>It was the second time this week that safety concerns prompted
>the FDA and a drug maker to act on a medication. On Tuesday,
>a diabetes drug that has been linked to at least 61 deaths was
>withdrawn from the market after a review of safety data showed
>it was more toxic to the liver than comparable drugs. The FDA
>said that it requested that Rezulin, a drug for treatment of
>Type 2, or adult-onset, diabetes, no longer be sold. The agency
>said that Parke-DavisWarner-Lambert, the drug manufacturer,
>agreed to the action.
Let's check that scoreboard.
Kill 80 people with a drug:
Give the FDA jurisdiction to regulate.
Pull the drug from the market.
Kill 61 people with a drug:
Give the FDA jurisdiction to regulate.
Pull the drug from the market.
Kill 10,000,000 people with a drug:
The FDA has no jurisdiction to regulate.
Give away free cigarettes with every Happy Meal.
Got heartburn? Light up a smoke.
Lost your insulin? Puff on this.
Jeff Williams
Letter to the Editor of the
Huntsville Times
GOP funny business
I know it is wrong to laugh at someone's misfortunes, but
sitting and watching the Republican Party disintegrate
right before my eyes, I cannot help but be amused.
One by one, the alleged Clinton scandals brought on by
the fascist right wing are being struck down for what they
are: nothing but Clinton-hating rhetoric.
It seems the GOP can only run its campaign on hatred
and lies. The Republicans had one chance of gaining the
White House, and that was with Sen. John McCain, but
they attacked him with lies and half truths as viciously as
they do their Democratic opponents. Now Vice President
Al Gore couldn't lose if he tried.
Let's look at the two candidates:
George W. Bush thinks he can be president because: 1)
Gore invented the Internet. 2) Buddhist Temple.
Meanwhile, Gore is talking health-care reform, a patients'
bill of rights, prescriptions for Medicare patients, saving
Social Security, preserving the environment and
continuing Clinton's economic policies, which are
unarguably the best policies this country has seen in my
lifetime. Can anyone remember "Trickle Down?"
I am proud to say that I am a Clinton supporter, and I am
going on record and saying that Gore will be the next
president by a landslide. Meanwhile, after they lose for a
third time, Republicans will blame Bush for not being
right-wing enough.
How can something so funny be so sad? Also, how can
something so sad be so funny? At least I can hold my
head up proudly and say that I was a Democrat before
being a Democrat was cool.
Steve Whisenant, Huntsville
Begala Shoots the Bull
One year ago today, President Clinton ordered
American air strikes on Slobodan
Milosevic's ethnic cleansing machine. Ollie
North and the other handwringers
said President Clinton could not hold the
NATO allies together; the President
proved them wrong. They said Milosevic
would never give in; the President
proved them wrong. They said the President
would cave when public opinion got
soft; the President proved them wrong.
And they said American and allied
airpower could not carry the day, that
ground troops would be needed; and
again the President proved them wrong.
So let us lift a glass today to the brave
men and women who risked their lives
to stop ethnic slaughter in Europe. Let's
drink a toast to the airmen,
soldiers, sailors, and Marines who made
our nation proud. Let's drink a toast
to humility, civility, and forgiveness,
so that all the naysayers and all the
right-wingers, who were secretly pulling
against the forces of freedom, can
learn from their mistake. And let's
salute the Commander in Chief who rose
above the bitter, personal attacks,
the likes of which no President has
endured during combat, and led our forces
to victory.
A shot of Chinaco to our fighting men and women
and to the president who still, to this day,
has never sent a man into combat who didn't come home.
GOP Caught Like a Rat
Great Demo Quotes
"The comparison you made to Ali was a good one, they can't lay
a glove on him
but unlike Ali he is even more skilled in his field of
politics than Ali was in boxing.
Clinton could get a blow job from Ann Coulter while banging
Barbara Olsen
and come out clean claiming it was their idea."
-- Leo Carr
ha ha
Chinaco Stories
From: Derrick.Gallagher
Subject: A Shot of Chinaco for the Spartans!
Last nite, I made my way to the local sports
bar to watch my Michigan State
Spartans in the NCAA hoops tournament.
Despite being the odds-on favorite
to win the title this year, State played
like shit in the 1st half, and
found themselves down to Syracuse by 10
points at halftime.
During halftime, I made an agreement with
my buddy (who is not a State fan,
but had about $500 on them, minus the 7
pt. spread), that we would do a shot of
tequila for every 3-pointer the team made
in the second half. Having shot
like 1-11 in the 1st half, I figured I
could handle it.
After a blistering halftime speech by Mateen
Cleaves, the Spartan point guard,
the team came out and lit it up in the
second half- winning by 17!
They made 9 three's in the half- which
left me pretty much in the bag by the
end of the game. The owner of the bar gave
me the biggest surprise of the nite.
Right after the game ended, he came out
of the back room, holding a brand new
bottle of Chinaco, and poured 2 glasses
for free for me and my boy!
Who woulda thought this rathole joint would have a secret store of the good stuff!
After 9 shots of shitty well tequila (probably
made in Idaho or some shit like that)
that Chinaco went down like liquid gold!
Usually, that much liquor would give me
a hellacious hangover, but somehow, I'm
functioning pretty well this morning.
I'm convinced the Chinaco had something
to do with it!
Mucho amor por el Chinaco!
Much props to Fuzzy's South!
and, most important, GO STATE!!!!!!
-Derrick
(please don't post my email address)
Derrick,
I don't understand the no-hangover thing either, but it's real.
I usually have Chinaco on Saturday nights, so I'll be sharp
for Tim the Whore at 8 AM the next morning.
I don't know why fine tequila doesn't get one plastered.
Maybe it's distilled better, fewer toxins or whatever.
But your story sounded almost Biblical.
Remember the first miracle Jesus ever performed?
He and some Jewish disciples were at a bar when they ran out of
tequila.
Jesus told the bartender to fill the empty tequila bottles with
water.
The confused bartender thought about cutting him off, but didn't.
The bartender did as Jesus told him to, filling the bottles full
of water.
Then Jesus told him to pour shots all around.
When they realized they were drinking Chinaco, they all wanted
to know
why Jesus waited until the very end to bring out the good stuff.
Then they all became Catholics.
More on E-Mail-gate
From: randy@e-jam.net
Subject: This is such bullshit
.. this e-mail thing - and Rush saying could
have been incriminating
e-mails about Gore's fund raisers, Whitewater,
Monica, and all the other bs charges.
I mean, since there is no way to know what
was in the e-mails that weren't archived,
I guess we can just use our imaginations
and dream up bullshit theories of what
MIGHT have been in them, without any way
to prove or disprove it.
Randy
Randy,
Clinton deserves some of the blame for prolonging this.
Like an unwatched teenage boy teasing a dog, he's poking Burton
with a stick.
There's nothing in those e-mails, but Clinton wants Burton and
the others to think there is.
For the 1501st time, the GOP is going to chase this latest
-gate like crazy.
They're going to go subpeona-crazy, and Clinton will stall them.
Thinking they're onto something, thinking they really have
him this time,
the GOP will press harder, knowing victory is just moments
away - again!
Clinton will refuse to play ball, knowing that drives them shit-crazy.
Eventually, some judge will rule that Clinton must do "X" and
"Y,"
and then everyone will read the e-mails and see there's nothing
there.
Then Clinton will light another cigar and have a good laugh knowing
his enemies are the nuttiest bunch of no-brain whores in the
world.
He's doing this AND directing the economy AND dodging impeachment
AND running the world at the same time, ...and he's making it
look easy.
He should be ashamed of himself.
Only 267 days until the train pulls into oral-sex Heaven.
Hang in there, Bill!
Drive Much?
BOSTON (AP) - The candidate who began his campaign to unseat Ted Kennedy
by issuing an embarrassing report detailing his own personal failures
has steered himself into a new mess.
Jack E. Robinson III was involved in a three-car accident Tuesday, and
was accused of trying to leave the scene - just hours after releasing
an
11-page personal history that included allegations of drinking and
driving,
sexual misconduct, plagiarism and carrying an illegal weapon.
ha ha
Great True Quotes
I got a boatload of great quotes from kishrandy@hotmail.com
Vincent Bugliosi quotes from "No Island of Sanity"
On Pig-Boy
"…But even if one is conservative, how can any
intelligent person fail to be
deeply offended by Rush Limbaugh?….although some
of the things he says has
merit, when it comes to politics, his favorite
topic, he has absolutely no
credibility at all. On any matter where there
is a divergence between the
Republican and Democratic positions, invariably,
without exception, 100
percent of the time, he takes the Republican
side…
For Limbaugh to have any credibility, the Republicans
would always have to be right
and the Democrats always wrong….since we know,
of course, that this can’t be true,
he has no credibility and therefore every thinking
person should be offended by him"
p.10-11
More to Come
Saw it on Freak Repugnant
Click Here for You Know You're a Conservative if.....
Do you have today's Whore Street Journal?
I'm a little disappointed in the number of hits I'm getting, so I did
a little self-promotion.
I thought I'd spend a little money and try to convert those financial-egghead
ditto-monkeys who think Clinton has been a bad president even though
the stock market has f-ing tripled
with him driving the bus.
I took out a half-page ad to promote bartcop.com
and the stupid bastards misspelled the name!!!
I'm going to make them run it twice as big as an apology.
Never trust the Whore Street Journal!
It's on page B2
The Oscars
How much you want to bet that somebody at the podium says,
"I hope my VCR is taping the Sopranos right now?"
Who do you think will take Oscar home?
I got my Oscar picks right here.
See if you agree.
Suggestion
From: WilliamL15@prodigy.net
Subject: name of website
Hey BartCop, I think you should change the name
of your website.
There is so much information there that has nothing
to do with Rush.
Plus Rush is becoming totally irrelevant.
I predict that by the second year of the Gore
administration if someone
mentions his name most people will say "Rush
who?" .
One suggestion I have would be to name it 'GOFP lying nazi whores' .
Bill Landaeta
Bill, you have a point.
There's more going on here than just listing Pigboy's lies.
Lately, I've been referring to it as bartcop.com
because Rush has
had a series of strokes that lead me to believe he's about to retire.
I think he'll make it thru the election, and probably will hand his
precious
hate show to Sean Puffy Hannity in January and slither off to
Marta.
I was hoping to make it big before he retires so I could someday
confront his Nazi ass, but it seems the Lord has other plans for me.
It won't be much fun beating up a stroked-out old man with half a brain.
BartCop
Trouble
I have a bad feeling about this E-mail-gate.
"Slick Willy" has gotten away with some stuff
in the past,
but I'm afraid his string of good luck might've
run out.
Yep, they've got him for sure this time.
Withholding E-mail?
From Ken Starr and Larry Klayman, the man without
a penis?
That's serious crime there, folks.
Clinton was slick enough to slip away those first
1,500 times,
but I really think they've got him this time.
We need to mentally prepare ourselves for Clinton's
removal.
Did you see Gene Lyons on Crossfire last night?
Speaking to Barbara Olson, the Finder of the
Secret Sauce, Gene said,
"For ten years you clowns have been screaming
'felony' at Bill Clinton,
and all you've ever been able to prove
was Monica Lewinsky."
So the idiot-GOP comes at Clinton again.
Do you remember a boxer named Richard Dunn?
He was from England.
Big, giant white guy - big as a goddamn house.
Slower than Smirk at a geography bee.
He had the good/bad luck to get in the ring with
Muhammed Ali.
This poor, dumb, slow white guy stood there and
ran his bloody face
into Ali's gloves at high speed a couple of dozen
times each round.
If I remember correctly, the guy didn't have the
brains to fall.
Ali just re-arranged his face for 12 or 15 rounds,
but he never fell.
This poor bastard - he was so slow, he never
saw the punches coming.
He'd be standing there, like a poor, dumb, slow,
flat-footed white guy would,
and before he had a chance to blink, Ali was
pulling his fist back.
THEN the poor bastard would react kinda like
the Iraqi anti-aircraft guns,
shooting at the sound of our fighters
when the jets were miles away.
Needless to say, Ali won the decision, won every
round.
After the fight, they interviewed Ali.
"I'm the greatest fighter who ever lived, and
I'm pretty!"
They also interviewed the extremely bloody Richard
Dunn.
"I'd sure like to fight him again!"
ha ha
Swear to Koresh, the poor, dumb, slow white guy wanted more of Ali.
I think about Richard Dunn - a lot.
Everytime I see a Crossfire, or Capitol Gang,
or McLaughlin or Fox Whore News.
The poor, dumb, slow white guys keep coming after
Bill Clinton.
Every time they do, Clinton re-arranges their
party.
Remember what the GOP looked like in 1992?
But they keep coming back for more.
Yep, I'm afraid they've got Bill Clinton this
time.
I hope they don't impeach him.
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