I hadn't been to the PO Box in several days, so I dropped by last night.
 It was sad - there was just one small, white envelope.
 Here's what the letter said.

 Bartcop, I have a question for you:
 Don't you think it's rather unwise to cut people off while at the same time you beg for money?

 I'm certain I don't know what you're talking about.
 Unless we're on the phone, how could I cut you off?

 My husband wanted to send you a contribution for your radio, but guess what?
 We're not allowed in your fucking forum.
 Isn't this just grand?  Really stupid deal!

 My goodness!
 Your language!

 And you discriminate against other forums and refuse to offer their link.
 Can you please tell me why this is considered OK in your book?

 I, ...I, ...I...

 We're all in the same boat, but some are just too petty or caught up in their own little ego...

 Hmmm, that sounds like it's getting close to a personal attack.

 No name or address because I'm sure you'll use this as another way to insult people.

 I am unaware of an instance where I have insulted the innocent.
 If you could forward an example, I'd appreciate it.

 Boy, if this isn't like what pimpled ass does then I don't know anything.

 I have no comment on that statement.

 So keep your fucking forum and your one live dumb posters up your rectum.

 I wasn't an English major, but I feel the last half of your sentence is missing a verb.

 1. The forum is not mine.
 2. It is not "fucking."
 3. There is more than one live poster the last time I looked.
 4. Pretty much everybody on the forum has an IQ higher than 64.

 At this rate, we'll never defeat the Bush fascists.
 We're divided over little egos.

 postmarked Eureka, CA

 It wasn't signed, so the only way I can answer it is on the page.
 It's from Eureka, CA, where some of my good friends live.
 I certainly hope this letter wasn't from someone I know personally.

 Ms. Eureka, let me tell you a little story.

 In 1978, I became a professional negotiator.
 Actually, I was the newbie at the finance company so they gave me all the late calls.
 Every person who was behind on their payment got a call from me.

 It's funny, in that business you get to know the poor payers better than the good customers.
 If a guy makes his payment on time, we never have a reason to speak.
 So there was this one customer named Alan - he was always behind.
 He promised to make a payment by the 10th, and when he didn't come in by the 15th,
 I called him and let him have both barrels, kinda like what you just did to me.

 And Alan said, "But Bart, I paid you last week, just like I said I would.
 Don't you remember teasing me that I needed to wash my muddy truck?"

 Sure enough, I put his payment in the computer, but not on his card.

 Boy, did I feel stupid.

 But it taught me a very important lesson that I remember to this day.
 When negotiating with someone, you always start out nice.

 Nice always works better than snarly, plus you have the option of
 going postal on his ass down the road if his attitude turns Cheney-ish.

 When I negotiated with The Rio Hotel and Casino, I started so nice I didn't get a chance
 to get into my list of grievances - and I had six pages of yellow pad notes.
 When I negotiated with the Bank of America, ditto!
 When I negotiated with Best Western motels, ditto!

 So the point is, ...(the crowd does the wave, 'Bring it home, Bart')  ...the Forum is
 maintained and paid for by some longtime readers of this page. It's a whole other entity.
 And yes, they probably are too strict if they didn't allow someone as sweet as you to post.

 As far as "my begging," you certainly don't owe me anything. You're welcome to read and
 enjoy all 996 issues of  bartcop.com  free of charge with no obligation to send a tithe.
 I mean, what am I going to do - threaten you with eternal torture with fire if you don't?

 Maybe you'll believe me when I say the Forum is a whole other thing that I link to.
 I don't manage the Forum, but I know the gang who maintain it.

 Maybe if you wrote a nice letter to  baconslab@baconslab.com  you could gain entry.

 Note: I didn't put the Monkey mail sign up because odds are you're a good person
                who just had a bad moment. Don't wory about it - I have lots of them.

 Back to  bartcop.com

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