Volume 323 - Florida 2000
 November 7, 2000

 Tonight is CHINACO ANEJO Night!
  Gates open at 5:30 PM CST, Showtime at 6:30

 This is it - the BIG one.

 Should be a BITER - for both sides.
 Bigger than the Bird Roast
 The Biggest Night ever on  bartcop.com

 BE HERE when Gore romances Pennsylvania and Michigan.
 BE HERE when Gore sweeps Florida and Missouri off their feet.
 BE HERE when Hillary gives Lazio the boot he deserves.

 BE HERE when Rogan and McCollum become unemployed.
 Did you hear McCollum whining in Florida?
 "Vote for me, please, or Bill Clinton will get his revenge on me."
 ha ha
 Eat it, Brutus, Eat it cold and raw!
 BE HERE when Gore takes California and Intelligencia.
 bartcop.com  is the ONLY place to be election night.

 Record turnout is reported everywhere.
 People standing in looooooong lines to vote.
 Are they there to reverse America's progress?
 Or are they there to stop the drug/alky moron from siezing power?

 Most of us are in the Chat Room.
 Go to the bartcop.com home page (bartcop.com)
 and select "Chat Room" then look upper right for # of chatters.
 Click on there, you can register or just be a guest.

 You can add to the discussion or just lurk.

  For tonight, look  DOWN  for updates.
  All times CST
  6:29 PM

 The Beginning of the Long Night


 Smirk takes Carolina!

I'm planning to do a shot for every state Gore takes.
Let's hope the night ends with a loopy BartCop.

1996 was a bitch.
CNN would come on and say, Clinton has taken MA, VT, CT, NY, NJ
 and it was hard to keep up. Tonight <heavy sigh> should be much easier.

 Florida falls for Gore!

 Dole's on CNN, says could be looooooong night for Smirk.
 Remember when Smirk said, "I WILL win Florida."
 Wrong again, Smirk!

 Michigan falls for Gore!

 Slow down, Al, I can't keep up!

 7 PM
 Illinois falls for Gore!

 Al, cut me some slack!!

 Massachusetts falls for Gore!

 C'mon, Snirk!
 Aren't you even gonna try?

 Maryland falls for Gore!
 Connecticut falls for Gore!

 Smirk wins KKK states Oklahoma and Mississippi

 shot, shot, shot...

 Right now, it's Smirk 121, Gore 119, but we know Gore has
 CA and NY, plus he should get either PA or OH, plus a handful of MO
 and WI and MN.

 Still there?

 So much is happening.
 If you have a TV, you know.
 Smirk is running out of states.

 I checked into the bartcop.com chat room and got stuck.
 Gore started winning states faster than I could do shots.
 Trust me - that's fast.

 If you haven't been to a chat room yet, try it.

 The major ones are on the front page at bartcop.com
 Go to "Chat Room."

 The first room is full, so a second one opened.
 If both are full, there's another at irc.newnet.net, look for "bartcop" channel

 In a race close to my heart, Brad Carson has taken back Mike Synar's seat
 from Tom Coburn (R-Jesus Twin)
 Mike Synar was a champion, and the people of OK screwed him.
 He has since died of brain cancer, but we got his seat back.



 Hey, wait a minute...

 CNN just put Florida back in the mix.


 Things are going crazy.

 CBS has Smirk ahead 217 to 167
 NBC has Smirk ahead 197 to 217

 I have one word to say - California...

 Tim the Whore says Gore can't lose - that's scary.

 NBC says since Oregon is TOTAL mail-in votes,
 so if it's close, we may not know till Friday.

 I don't have enough Chinaco to last 4 days...

 Latest news, it's down to the wire.
 Smirk slightly ahead, but the waves are coming in chunks.
 CBS and NBC say whoever wins Florida wins it all.

 Waiting, waiting to see if we're going to steer into the iceberg
 or avoid it and continue the progress.


Hillary says Lazio was a "worthy opponent."

 ha ha

 Rush is right.
 She doesn't always tell the truth.

 Whew, it's like being on Deaf Row.

 10:39, we know nothing.

 Smirk got Nevada and Bigotville,
 but they're still two electoral votes apart.

 Death, where is thy sting?

 ha ha

 Gore doesn't need a miracle, he needs a fumble.

 CNN's "Oh!" Mr.Greenfield says we could have a TIE!
 If the too-close-to-call states fall the right way,
 each side ends up with 269.

 Clock barely moving...
 AZ goes Smirk, another first down we didn't get.

 Florida - talk to me...

 Russert, always the wordsmith, says, "We're getting to the crunch."

 ha ha

 Dan Rather says, "If Gore loses Florida, his chaces are Slim,
 and Slim-just-left-town."

 Somebody should kick him in the nuts.

 Schneider on CNN says Nader definitely cost Gore the state of Oregon

 Austin says they've won even if they lose FL



 Nader - Unsane at any speed?

Wow! FL has missing ballot boxes???
Brokaw says ballot boxes are missing in FL

Buchanan's $12,000,000 got him 1657 votes

We still don't know...
How can they call Florida with missing ballot Boxes?

NBC says Gore ballots went to BUCHANAN, because of a screw-up!
People voted Gore, and Pat got the votes.
Is this a Don King production?

How in the world could the GOP possibly pull this off,
 ...Oh, Jeb's the governor, that's right

Perfect, now they've FOUND some missing ballot boxes - Oh, please!!

McCollum, House manager cock-hunter lost tonight in Florida.
Shot of Chinaco for his losing ass!

Now we need Rogan to lose to Adam Schiff,
the retired old guy from the Angie Harmon show.

Looking around, I see a lot of people have already gone to their cars...
They'll be angry they left early if Gore pulls this out!

Currently, I'm trying to keep up with two TV channels and two chat rooms
plus the irc thing and The Latest, and I've heard twice from Lullaby
that I'm not being sufficiently differently funny on each channel.


I should give her her money back?

CNN's Greenfield says if present numbers hold up,
Nader will have cost Gore the White House.

We now live in a totally GOP country.
White House, House and Senate.

Allllllllll GOP, as far as the eye can see.



ha ha

Stepping out of the moment,
we have a bunch of frustrated, let-down, cranky Democrats
getting together for a friendly little group toe-stub.

Judas Maximus says Gore can still win.
What do you mean, George, when Smirk dies from old age?

I think Ralph Nader has some explaining to do.
Same for Michael Moore, Phil Donahue, Eddie Vedder,
I think Bono was in that crowd of misguideds, who else?

We need to make a list - not for lynchin'
just a list of who to be sure-not-to-trust in 2004.

We told them up-front, "It's a vote for Bush."

"But how can it be wrong to vote your conscience?"

Math is math!

You've got the satisfaction of being your own man
and that your vote gave us an absolute total-idiot for a President.


...and the first one of you who says,
"Don't try to blame this on me,"
you better hope the math proves Smirk would've won anyway.

12:50 CST, almost 2 AM on the east coast.
I think tobacco legislation moves faster than this.

Maybe Gore's planning a December surprise?

1:00 AM
Carnahan WINS in Missouri!

(marching band playing Souza loudly)

Ashcroft is a REAL prick, and deserved to lose BIG TIME.
Hey Ashcroft, about your loss?

I think we need more details, asshole!

Oh, yeah, your little penis was hard as a rock chasing Clinton's cock
and now your mouth-watering tactics have cost you an election - good.

Iowa just went Gore, so he's back in the Iditerod lead, but his dogs are tired.
Rather says it's getting closer!

Florida picks the winner - it's that simple.

Koresh, 1:09, Ed Bradley says the DEMO votes are still to come in Florida!

CBS and FOX call it for Smirk

In ten hours, Pigboy will be playing, "I Feel Good," by James Brown.

I think I'll stagger off, and wake up tomorrow in an all-GOP America,
led by a guy more stupid than me.


 3:30 in the morning, my phone rings.

 It's Locutus, saying, "Turn on the TV."

 This better be good.

 I turn on NBC, they say Gore is AHEAD, 249 to 246.

 ha ha

 It's a trick by the whore press!

 But, you know, if were's going to re-count all those votes,
  it's great to have a Dailey in charge, right?

 ha ha

 4:00 AM
 Rogan lost.
 That was important.
 Cock-hunting fascists should always lose their jobs.

 What do we do now?
 One more debate?

 If Smirk wins the electoral vote, we gotta give it to him.
 But if he wins Florida by a thousand votes and more than a thousand
 Gore votes were recorded as Buchanan votes, we have a problem.

 Read the  Previous Issue
 It was the best issue ever.

 Go Home to  bartcop.com

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