Today's  bartcop.com  Bonus Issue


 U.S. Unemployment Rate jumps hits highest in nearly 8 years - May 3, 2002

 Major crime increased in the United States last year for the first time in a decade - June 23, 2002

 Dow Jones average Loses 21% of value since W took office

 Yeeee Ha - DUHbya just won another trifecta

 Larry



Subject: JulieFest West

Hey Bart,

Dave & I will move mountains to be there. I've already told him we're going into debt for this.
Unless I'm being threatened with homelessness, we're there! I've never stayed at the Rio,
but I've always heard super things about it. AND I'm very much looking forward to the tequila orgy. : )

Yes we'll be there, and yes we'll need a room.
Vegas here we come!!

Tammy & Dave

 Woo Hoo!

 Party in Vegas!!



 You got a toothbrush?

 Corn on the cob,
 grilled corn,
 boiled corn,
 fried corn,
 Merit corn,
 steamed corn,
 corn chowder,
 corn gumbo,
 Silver King corn,

 

 corn oil,
 corn soup,
 corn and green beans,
 candied corn,
 Temptation corn,
 corn.com
 corn syrup,
 Mexican corn,
 corn tortillas,
 blackened corn
 Bixby Corn Festival this weekend,
 corn on Richard Pryor's toe



 Running for Cover
   by Gene Lyons

   Click  Here

   Excerpt:
 "I call on the Palestinian people to elect new leaders not compromised by terror,"
 Bush announced grandly. "When the Palestinian people have new leaders, new
 institutions, and new security arrangements with their neighbors, the United States
 of America will support the creation of a Palestinian state."

 Yes, and when cows fly, we'll milk them in trees.



Subject: GWB at OSU

One of the stronger traditions at OSU graduation is the wacky hijinks of the OSU Dental School.

I'm trying to check some of my old friends there to see if they were given a double portion of censorship.
My favorite stunt that they pulled got them suspended from the graduation ceremony for a couple of years.

They took a ventriloguist's dummy of Howdy Doody, gave him a big exposed dildo penis and then tied him
to helium filled balloons that floated over Ohio Stadium, the commencement speaker and only God knows
how many grandmothers who were probably laughing themselves sick.

However, it wasn't dignified enough for the stuffed shirts and the dental students were bounced.
They had to petition to get back in and promise on a pile of plaid golf pants that they would never
do anything like that again.

Eric
 

I'll bet if they did that while Smirk-for-Brains was speaking, the F-16s
would have shot it out of the sky, even tho they were unable to defend
America when the Unelected Fraud hatched his lucky trifecta.



Subject: Are YOU impressed?

     The first time I voted for Bill Clinton I was told he would do for our economy what he did for Arkansas. To phrase it perfectly, as THEY would have had me phrase it, like Rush and Liddy phrased it, he would really put the economy into the dump. Of course I was glad to see the  American eagle soar, economically, but then I was told that was the doing of the
conservative republicans. They said Bill had NOTHING to do with it.
     The second time I voted for Bill, I was told I should vote for someone who had ethics and wasn't a coward. Of course I wondered why all these conservatives, many of whom had their own ethical problems, thought Bill was a coward and too unethical to be a leader. Many of them avoided the draft, had mistresses, BJ's and...  I was told the bar needed to be HIGHER for a PRESIDENT. Also, after spending so much of the taxpayers money, like we were a bottomless scandal funding pit, like Ken Starr's endless quest to find out absolutely everything, something, anything, no matter whether true or not, on Clinton, I still voted for Bill. My conservative friends said, in anger, "How could you do that? Don't you know he's going to dump the Bill of Rights, he doesn't know how to handle foriegn policy and he won't keep us secure at home and abroad?" I was also told that I shouldn't vote for an administration that was obviously hiding something and hadn't given up, or found, every document fast enough. They said he should take responsibilty for what he's done.
     Now we're a year into a conservative administration after I was told much the same things about Gore. I was told Bush being President was more important than voting rights and, "The adults are now in charge..."
     It's more than a year later and what do I think about the economy, administration ethics, Presidential bravery, taking responsibilty, foriegn policy, the safety of my rights as a citizen, hiding or refusing to give up documents, how secure we've been at home and abroad or even if Bush has managed to come up to that bar that's supposed to be so high for a president?

     I'm NOT impressed.



 In Tulsa, the newspapers are wet with glee over a beastiality trial.

 Some nut had some pictures of people having sex wioth animals,
 so he was arrested and his story is being told every day in the papers.

 Today, swear to Koresh, the headline is "Beastiality photo possession OK."

 Of course, if he possessed photos of two adults making love
 he'd probably have to do hard prison time, but "beastie fun" is legal
 in the cock-fighting capitol of the world - dusty old Oklahoma.

 How do you think Inhofe and Nichols got to the senate?


 



 


Subject: CIA Torture Techniques

Hey Bart -

The current Time magazine (6/24/02) has an article called "The Next Wave", which
describes U.S. interrogators' "techniques" to "pry information out of some detainees."

U.S. "sources" say that Abu Zubaydah (alleged al-Qaeda operations chief) "isn't being tortured,
but a variety of methods are being used to encourage him to talk.  Typical military interrogation
tactics would include depriving him of sleep, changing the temperature of his cell, and 'modulating
caloric intakes' - spookspeak for withholding food and then providing it as a reward."

So...he isn't being tortured, but they're:
* keeping him awake (I don't want to think about how) for days on end
* subjecting him to broiling and then freezing conditions
* starving him, probably close to death.

What a charming combination for someone who hasn't been charged with a crime,
isn't a prisoner of war, has no right to counsel, etc., etc.

But he's NOT being tortured.

Howard



 Bush’s Weak Plan Strengthens Sharon
        by Joe Conason

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Mr. Bush has completed his abandonment of positions he staked out only a few months ago.
 Where he once acknowledged the "legitimate aspirations" of the Palestinians for an independent
 and viable state, he now insists that they must first "embrace democracy, confront corruption
 and firmly reject terror."

 Such stringent conditions will never be imposed on the kingdom of Saudi Arabia, a state we
 have provided with massive security assistance; or on Egypt, a state we have subsidized for
 decades with military and economic aid; or on Kuwait, a state we defended with American
 blood and treasure. Only the Palestinians must suddenly meet these insurmountable demands
 —and do so within 36 months—in order to qualify for statehood and economic aid.
 
 

 Seems like that "Bush Doctrine" doesn't work at all.


 One guy named Gary sent money via PayPal:

 "I'd like to purchase a 'Better-Be-Awesome' Juliefest video."

 ha ha

 I explained that the videos were FREE, with a modest donation of
 just $25 or more (offer good thru massive postal increases of June 30).

 I also explained that the video was waaaaaaay better than I was letting on.
 I watched that Vegas Night on the Travel Channel the other night?
 Kent Buy could teach those people how to shoot film.

 And if Carville getting excited, Conason getting down, and Julie being Julie
 doesn't excite you,  ...well, ... you probably think Bush won Florida fair & square

 Anyway, I shipped his free video to him that next day, (today) 2-day air.
 We await his appraisal.



 Karl Rove, Adding to His To-Do List
 
  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 President Bush often tells the story these days about the time, during the campaign,
 when he vowed he would keep the federal budget balanced unless the nation found  itself
 in a war, a national emergency or a recession. "Never did I dream we'd have a trifecta,"
 Bush then says, to audience laughter. Sometimes, he adds that he made this statement
 to a reporter while campaigning in Chicago.

 Problem is, nobody can find evidence that he actually said this during the campaign.
 (In fact, Bush often said his tax cut could be done without causing a deficit even in a downturn.)
 The New Republic magazine first pointed out the problem, and NBC's Tim Russert earlier this
 month told Bush budget director Mitchell E. Daniels Jr. that NBC could find no evidence Bush
 said such a thing. Daniels replied that he's "not the White House librarian."



 Group Aims to Have Every Vote Counted

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
"Though much of the country may have moved on, memories of the 2000 presidential contest
 remain vivid and raw among Florida blacks. In this north Florida city alone, more than 10,000
 ballots cast by African Americans were rejected as invalid--more than enough to put Al Gore,
 and not George W. Bush, in the White House."


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