Too bad the press was afraid to ask...
 Lt. Bush Was Too Drunk to Fly! (Critics Claim)
 (From campaign scandals 2000 Series)

 Shocking medical reports documenting that George W. Bush was often
 'too drunk to fly' when he was in the Texas Air National Guard are set
 to be released in an effort to destroy his presidential hopes, a source confides.

 The young Lieutenant was a big drinker and if he had been suddenly called
 to duty, he would not have been allowed in the cockpit, it is claimed.
 The reports, experts agree, are a potential bombshell that could derail the Bush campaign.

 "If genuine, they are absolute dynamite," forecasts one insider.
 "They appear to show that while other guys his age were dying in Vietnam,
  George W. was partying like crazy in Houston.

 If he had been called to fly on several occasions, he wouldn't have been able to
 because of alcohol consumption and hangovers."

 The papers have been gathered by renegade Democrats, who are furious at Gore's decision not to launch
 any personal attacks on his opponent, says a source.   Gov. Bush has made a stunning recovery in polls,
 that now show the two candidates are running neck-and-neck. The rogue Democrats believe it will take
 a scintillating scandal such as this one to end his momentum.

 The Texan is already under fire over how he got into the Guard - and how he appeared to go AWOL
 halfway through his service. Critics have charged that Bush only enlisted to keep from being sent to Vietnam.
 Sources say he was assigned to a squad nicknamed The Champagne Unit and was a wild party animal.

"The group aiming to derail Bush say they have gathered detailed evidence about several lost weekends,"
 reveals the insider. "They allege that W and his best buddy regularly took off down to Mexico, spending days
 drinking tequila and chasing local girls. When they got back on base, they were too blasted to fly when
 they arrived and still unfit the next day."

 In checking if Bush had been unable to fly because of drinking, GLOBE spoke to a well-placed source in Texas
 familiar with the governor's service.  He confirmed that Bush's flying experience with the National Guard in Texas
 ended after he refused to take a medical exam.

 "It was a mandatory physical, but he refused to take it," said the source.  "Presumably he was concerned about
 what it would show.  It meant he forfeited his pilot's license and could not be a pilot any longer."

 Instead, the future governor applied to switch his service to the Alabama National Guard, in a non-flying
 "paper-shuffling" role. But according to numerous sources, including the man who would have been his commander,
 Bush never even showed up for duty.

 "George W.'s military service is a developing scandal," adds the insider.
 "If the 'too drunk to fly' records are released and prove genuine, then his goose is cooked."

 ...just savoring that last sentence...

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