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Mark Crispin Miller
Note: MCM's comments in bold blue
Patriot Day,
2002
By the President of the United States of America
A Proclamation
On this first observance of Patriot Day, we remember and honor those who
perished in the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001. We will not
forget the events of that terrible morning nor will we forget how
Americans responded in New York City, at the Pentagon, and in the skies
over Pennsylvania -- with heroism and selflessness; with compassion and
courage; and with prayer and hope [:-)].
We will always remember our
collective obligation to ensure that justice is done, that freedom
prevails, and that [maybe one or two of]
the principles upon which our
Nation was founded endure.
Inspired by the heroic sacrifices of our firefighters, rescue and law
enforcement personnel [who incurred health risks
that will henceforth not
be monitored, because it's too expensive], military service
members
[who hustled me out of harm's way],
and other citizens, our Nation found
unity [in admiration of myself], focus
[on
my greatness and agenda], and
strength. We found healing in the national outpouring of compassion for
those lost, as tens of millions of Americans participated in moments of
silence, candlelight vigils, and religious services [:-)].
From the
tragedy of September 11 emerged a stronger Nation, renewed by a spirit
of national pride and a true love of country [and
not too goddamn likely
to find out why 9/11 happened in the first place]
We are a people dedicated to the triumph of ["]freedom
and democracy["]
over evil and tyranny [with which, on the other
hand, we often partner up,
although you sure as hell will not find out about it]. The heroic
stories
of the first responders who gave their all to save others strengthened
our resolve [to bomb the hell out of Afghanistan,
and so disperse al Qaeda
all throughout the world]. And our Armed Forces have pursued
the war
against terrorism in Afghanistan and elsewhere with valor and skill
[if no
results to speak of]. Together with our coalition partners,
they have achieved
success [not!].
Americans also have fought back against terror by choosing to overcome
evil with good [although I couldn't really tell
you what that means].
By loving their neighbors as they would like to be loved, countless
citizens have answered the call to help others. They have contributed to
relief
efforts, improved homeland security in their communities, and volunteered
their time to aid those in need. [All in all,
a nifty program, since it
distracts them from the issues of my own foreknowledge of the terrorist
attacks, my own history of sleazy business deals, my own VP's involvement
with Iraq, and so much more that you will never know about.] This
spirit
of service continues to grow as thousands have joined the newly established
USA
Freedom Corps, committing themselves to changing America one heart at a
time
through the momentum of millions of acts of decency and kindness.
[Whatever.]
Those whom we lost last September 11 will forever hold a cherished place
in our hearts and in the history of our Nation. [And
I'm _really_ trying not to laugh.]
As we mark the first anniversary of that tragic day, we remember their
sacrifice;
and we commit ourselves to honoring their memory by pursuing peace and
justice
in the world and security at home. [When we start
doing that, we'll let you know.]
By a joint resolution approved December 18, 2001 (Public Law 107-89), the
Congress
has authorized and requested the President to designate September 11 of
each year as
"Patriot Day."
NOW, THEREFORE, I, GEORGE W. BUSH, President of the United States of
America, do hereby proclaim September 11, 2002, as Patriot Day. I call
upon the people of the United States to observe this day with appropriate
ceremonies and activities, including remembrance services and candlelight
vigils [and with some detailed notes on all suspicious
types, especially
Democrats]. I also call upon the Governors of the United States
and the
Commonwealth of Puerto Rico, as well as appropriate officials of all
units of government, to direct that the flag be flown at half-staff on
Patriot Day. Further, I encourage all Americans to display the flag at
half-staff from their homes on that day and to observe a moment of silence
beginning at 8:46 a.m. eastern daylight time, or another appropriate
commemorative time, to honor the innocent victims who lost their lives
as a result of the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001 [:-)].
IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this fourth day of
September, in the year of [my close friend] our
Lord two thousand two,
and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred
and
twenty-seventh [and, coming soon, my friends,
the New New World Order].
GEORGE W. BUSH
Note: Mark Crispin Miller is the author of "The Bush Dyslexicon"
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