Dear Bartcop:

 I got on the Glenn Beck show. Glenn the walking reach-around  was bashing
 the hell out of Whitney Houston, Britney Spears, and other "CRACK WHORES!!"

 I called in and said I'd like to say something about the triumphant return of Rush,
 they said it would be off-subject. I put on my best "angry conservative" voice and said,
"Hey! You tell Glenn Beck that he wouldn't be ANYWHERE without Rush!"

 It worked. I sat on hold for about 15 minutes, then they let me on and I baited Glenn with,
"You know, these big-name stars get treated like demigods, get a humongous ego... but they
 are actually very weak. Eventually, they get hooked on drugs because they can't handle the pain
 of living in a world that doesn't resemble their preceptions or claims."
(I lifted that line RIGHT off bartcop! I still have the Oxycontin ad as my background.)

 He started to disagree with me and tried to launch into a spiel about his own "former"
 drug/alcohol problem, probably to make another commercial for his cult. But I interrupted him
 and said "that's what happened to Rush.  He couldn't stand to live a world that didn't resemble
 his perceptions or claims. He became a drug addict back in '98, when Clinton wasn't impeached
 and the Republicans lost the Senate."

 Glenn was SOOOO flustered, he couldn't even curse me out! He said something about me
"being partisan" and said he'd talk to me after the commercial break... he went to a commercial,
 even though he had just had a commercial.

 He was so apoplectic, HE NEVER CAME BACK.
 It was solid commercials until the triumphant return of Rush Chong.

 ha ha

 I know that all the ditto-sheep out there heard me. I hope that all the bart-heads out there heard me,
 and I really hope you heard me,  BartKing. My only regret was that I didn't get to mention bartcop.

 If we all called Glenn Beck, Rush, et al. all the time, we would occasionally get through... I don't try that often,
 and I have already been on Glenn Beck three times and The Savage Weiner (what ever happened to him?) once.
 It really isn't that hard. You just have to fool the screener.

 So today I made Glenn EAT IT LIKE A CRACK WHORE.
 Or to use another colorful anal-ogy, I stuck it in him and broke it off.

 Your admirer,

 Keith in Tampa

 Keith, good stuff.
 BTW, you're all over the next BartCop Radio, which might go up as soon as today.

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