Don't Forget the Oil Thing
   by The Die Hard

Damn, my brother always was funnier than I was.  But as for the Foliage
brothers being responsible for the Seminoles' dismal football season,
remember that FSU is in Tallahassee, where Jebbie boy occasionally shows
up for work and Dumbshit sometimes visits, and if those bad vibes aren't
enough to put you off your game, Asscross probably has his anthrax
factory established in the woods nearby.

While the country was finally sorta kinda offhandedly alerted to
Asscross's toilet-papering of the Constitution, the weak protests are
being used as a double-blind for the next Evil Empire Initiative.
Bushwatch articles came up more than a week ago on maneuverings to blame
Saudi Arabia and Kuwait and wow, just about every OPEC oil producer, and
drag them into this "terrorist hunt" bullshit, while in the meantime
Cheney's oil stock is quietly going through the roof.  Bets on how long
before the whore lapdogs start printing Rove's handouts about "Worst
Winter in History Expected" and "Refill the Petroleum Reserves at All
Costs" (odd, I don't remember them ever being tapped -- wasn't it Cheney
who said we couldn't "afford to deplete our reserves"?) and "Oil Prices
Expected to Climb" (your basic self-fulfilling prophecy).

Jim Jefford's honesty threatened Cheney with investigations into his
price gouging, and suddenly prices dropped.  Cheney's as well as
Dumbshit's puppet masters in the oil companies were Not Happy.  "Get us
back to 500% profits NOW," they growled.  "I don't care how you do it!"

So we have a trumped-up war with everyone who wears a turban -- and, just
incidentally, sits on oil supplies that the Evil Empire has large interests in.

What?  Nobody remembers that the Viet Nam war was fought over who got to
control the offshore oil fields?  Clean the wax out of your ears and get
new prescription glasses, guys, because unless impeachment proceedings
are started in the next few months, we're in for a blood bath to pretty
much qualify as World War Three.  Unlike last time, Korea and India and
Pakistan now have nuclear weapons.

I almost drove off the road on purpose when I heard some pigboy-imitator
talking about a "tactical nuclear strike."  SHIT  A  MISSILE!   There is
NO  SUCH  THING as a "tactical nuke," Dumbshit's inability to pronounce
the word notwithstanding.  The smallest and "cleanest" nuclear bomb is --
well, think of the worst sci-fi nuclear war flick you've ever seen.

Then multiply it by ten.

Be afraid of anyone who says "tactical nuke."  Very afraid.

The Die Hard

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