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Volume 1152 - His hair was perfect

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 Sat-Mon   Sept 6-8, 2003 


"The president's priorities are that government gets results for the people,
  protecting Americans, winning the war on terrorism, and ensuring economic security."
   -- White House spokeswoman Claire Buchan  Attribution

 Isn't that proof that he's the worst president in history?

 He's gotten zero results, beyond bankrupting the Treasury.

 Protecting Americans?
 Bush's 9-11 dwarfed Pearl harbor, and these victims were civilians!

 Winning the war on terrorism?
 In which country is he doing that?

 Economic security?
 Are you f-ing crazy?
 He turned Clinton's Paradise into Hooverville.

 Warren Zevon dies at 56

  Click  Here

 Warren Zevon, who was among the wittiest and most original of a broad circle
 of singer-songwriters to emerge from Los Angeles in the 1970s, has died.

 A lifelong smoker until quitting several years ago, Zevon announced in September 2002
 that he had been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer and had only months to live.
 Zevon died in his sleep Sunday at his home, publicist Carise Yatter said.

 He faced death with the same dark sense of humor found in much of his music, including songs
 like "I'll Sleep When I'm Dead," "Life'll Kill Ya" and "Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead."

 Zevon said he chose a certain path and lived like Jim Morrison but he lived 30 more years.
 You make choices and you have to live with the consequences.

 1976's "Warren Zevon" and 1978's "Excitable Boy," cemented Zevon's reputation as one of rock music's
 most politically incorrect lyricists, giving him a lifelong cult following that included Hunter S. Thompson,
 Jesse Ventura and David Letterman who provided backing vocals on "Hit Somebody," Zevon's 2001
 elegy to a professional hockey goon who longs to be a goal-scoring hero.

 I knew he and Dave were close, but I had no idea they were so close that Dave
 would agree to sing on one of Warren's songs.  ...David Letterman singing?


"We certainly blew past the U.N. Why, I don't know. Now we're going back hat in hand."
   --retired Gen. Anthony Zinni,    Attribution

 Easily, Bush  is the worst fuck-up every to sit in the Oval Office.
 He's got the brains and temperment of a nine year old boy.
 He wants what he wants and doesn't care about any consequences.

 If only we had a free press that would actually report and comment on his foolosh and reckless behavior.

 Tim the Whore interviews softballs his Colin 

  Click  Here

 MR. RUSSERT: Iraq has become a breeding ground for terrorists?

 SEC’Y POWELL: Two-thirds of al-Qaeda’s senior leadership has been destroyed...

 They keep saying 2/3 of the al-Qaeda senior leadership has been destroyed, but nobody ever asks on what
 that extremely optimistic statement is based. Did we obtain a complete list of the al-Qaeda senior leadership?
 If so, why don't they publish that list so we can check off, "dead or captured," if it's true? Why does
 Russert and every reporter and pundit just accept that 2/3 figure as tho it was true?
 And if they don't have a list, where do they get this extremely optimistic 2/3 figure?

 Last week, Christie Whitman said the EPA lied about the air quality at Ground Zero because they
 didn't want people to worry and panic, they wanted them to get back to shopping. How do we know
 this "al-Qaeda is 2/3 destroyed" crap isn't just another lie so America won't worry and panic?

 Hex on thee!
 Hex on thee!
 Hex on thee!

 Hey Monkey!

 Let's see how well you do with the BartCop Hex on your lying ass...


"Leftists never learn not to tangle with Fox News star Bill O'Reilly.
  When his Irish temper is aroused he can be tough..."
    --, pretending  HO'Reilly has the courage to take on the left

   ...sure, as long as it's not Joe Conason, Al Franken, James Carville, Paul Begala, etc etc etc

 Subject: Another week of Bullshit

 Morning Bart
 Well another week of work Bart, that ain`t as bad as having
 to listen to the jiveass radio praise the RNC again.

 Watched a little of that speech made me gag.
 Keep up the good work, have a good week.

 joe in Toledo

 Skull talk 


 The Skull and Bones Society 'initiation' involves masturbating in a crypt in front of [other Skulls]
 while reciting your sexual history.  It doesn't involve branding (that we know about).

 Bush was branded as part of the initiation into a different frat, Delta Kappa Epsilon, which, according
 to the Washington post article   "was known as the hardest drinking jock house on campus".
 W. was a Deke, elected president (for the only time...), which means he probably did some of
 the branding on others' butts.  Now he merely kisses butt.

 So Kerry wasn't branded, but Bush Lite was.

 David R

 David, thanks, but I don't think I said Kerry was branded.
 I hope I said, "If he's branded, I want to know who his owner is."

 I have no desire (trust me) to see Kerry's butt. A note from his doctor (and not some old geezer about to retire)
 will suffice, but even then, I want to know why his allegiance to the Skulls prevents him from leveling with the
 voters as to whom his loyalty and secrecy are pledged.

 Subject: your abortion waeseling

 If you are pro-adoption above abortion--state it and grow a pair of testicles.

 Everybody is pro-adoption.
 Most people are pro-choice.
 Learn the difference.

 If you dont beleive minors should have abortive surgery without parental permission--then state it !

 I think some minors have a better chance of surviving D&E surgery than telling right-wing Dad
 that the punk he hates, the one with the purple mohawk, got his "Little Princess" pregnant.

 If I were female and raped, I would want to have the option.
 Clear enough to be understood. Right?

 Not really.
 You're a hard-right conservative who's pro-abortion rights?
 That's not the least bit clear.
 These last few issues have all had mail like this.
 Is Jesus back?
 Are we all speaking in tongues now?

 Do you see things differently?
 Please tell me.


 ha ha

 Differently than what?
 My positions on the major issues were online before you could spell 'AOL.'
 I'm reluctantly, but solidly, pro-choice.

 You're waiting for me to grow some testicles while I'm hoping you can develope
 the necessary language skills to tell me what and the hell we're arguing about.


 "The Bush recession would be followed by the Dean depression."
    Joe Lieberman, the worst senator the Democrats have, saying Dean
    would be a worse president that the Unelected Pinhead

 Isn't there some way we could make him leave our party?

 Schwarzenegger to Appear on O'Reilly 9-10 
  Watch O'Reilly (R-Spinner) throw softballs at Musclehead

  Click  Here

 O'Reilly told his "Factor" audience that he had just gotten off the phone with Arnold and
 that the oversexed Musclehead will be on his show this coming Wednesday, Sept. 10.

Marty's E! page
Baron Dave on 'New CDs from Old Friends #2'
Poetry Attack
Reader Review of 'DC/911'
Fresh BAGNews
Dr. Strangelove on TCM tonight
The Dalai Lama & Muhammad Ali
'Die Fledermaus' & some Supreme Court justices
Roman Polanski finally got his Oscar
Jesse Ventura's new house has 5 bedrooms & 8 bathrooms
And, a bunch of links


 Dueling Quotes

"In order to make sure that morale is high with those who wear the uniform today,
  we must keep our commitment to those who wore the uniform in the past ...
  We will make sure promises made to our veterans will be promises kept."
   --Dubya, September 6, 2000,    Attribution

"We want to show President George W. Bush that many more generals and admirals want him
  to act like the Commander-in-Chief and take care of his troops by restoring their retired pay."
   --Retired Lt. Gen. Billy M. Thomas, begging Bush to keep his promise    Attribution

"Screw the troops, my friends need a tax cut."

 Bartolo 2
  by Javier, our senior Latin American correspondent

  Click  Here

 Thanks from Phillip Agee
 News from Venezuela
 No soup for you: Cubans denied opportunity to receive their Grammys
 A feather in the cap of an evildoer:  Castro receives highest honor
   bestowed by the American Indian Movement. Crazy Horse is smiling.

 Pictures Bush doesn't want you to see
  Bring your best stomach, these pictures aren't pretty.

  Click  Here


 The rest of the world is seeing these horros,
 but Bush's good puppy press is protecting him
 so we'll believe that this was a clean, just war.

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 Dueling Quotes

"We have the obligation to rise up and take back the government ourselves.
  This is not a right-wing takeover. It has nothing to do with that. It is a people's takeover."
      --Gov Gang Bang, a speech in a Fresno shopping center   Attribution

  A "people's takeover?"
  Isn't that what they call a lynch mob?

"It seems to me the only people for whom Schwarzenegger is a true voice is that group of
  people we call idiots...They just want to take their State back and stuff. They just want to
  vote for Arnold because Arnold is cool and Arnold makes democracy fun, and because voting
  for Arnold upsets all those people who think they are smarter than them. Stupid smart people."
     --Craig Roberts,    Attribution

 Sticker placement contest 

 Get yours, then send in a digital photo of where you put it.
 (Please don't vandalize anything with these stickers)

 To get your stickers, send a self-addressed envelope to:
 PO Box 54466
 Tulsa, OK 74155

 OR, you could PayPal a small donation and get your stickers within 48 hours.

 The stickers are free, but donations are accepted.

 We'll give away a prize each month for Best Sticker Placement.
 Maybe a Brooke Burke calendar or Joe Conason's new book.

......   #4 at

 Send in your sticker pics - win valuable prizes.

 Update:  We just have one entrant so for,  but somebody wants the Conason book
                         or the BB calendar - I just know they do..


 Conason's book was a page turner and now Franken's is in my hands!
 Holy hell I can't read it in bed because my wife doesn't sleep too well when I'm laughing out loud.


 Let's trap Bush

 Could I get some help from a Nexis/Lexis subscriber?

 What DATE and place did Bush first use the word "recession?"

 Now that's it's mid-late 2003, President Revisionist History says the recession started March 01.
 But if he waited a year to mention it, that probably proves he was too stupid to understand.

 The way I remember it, all thru the campaign in the summer of 2000, Bush said Clinton's economy
 was so strong and the surpluses were so great that we should give money back to the people.

 Out of that same lying mouth, he now says he inherited a recession, so let's trap his lying ass
 and find the DATE and the place where he first mentioned the word "recession."

 Help an old altar boy out...  and please put RECESSION in the subject header

 Trying to Help
   by Dennis Miller  (R-Sellout)

  Click  Here

 Between Rush Limbaugh and myself, he's the fatter, louder and richer one. Otherwise, we're just two
 disingenuous egomaniacs who'd rather hobnob with the pompous and powerful than scrutinize them.

 Anybody wondering why I still have any career at all need only look to Bill O'Reilly, Vince McMahon
 and Jerry Springer who, along with myself, reaffirm the timeless H. L. Mencken adage "Nobody ever
 went broke underestimating the taste of the American public."

 Bush to Double Iraq Spending
  All those billions, stolen from America's future

  Click  Here

 President Bush (R-Thief) addressing the nation about the unexpectedly violent Iraq
 called last night for doubling the amount of money that he has already stolen from the Treasury.

 Bush said he will ask Congress for $87 billion in military and reconstruction spending for next year,
 significantly more than the range administration officials had given lawmakers. That brings to about
 $150 billion the amount the United States is spending on the Iraq war and its aftermath -- 50 percent
 more than officials had expected just a few months ago.

 I think the Republican party and BIG OIL should rebuild Iraq. Where the hell is the common sense
 in destroying a nation for no reason and then billing us $150 billion to rebuild it? This is nothing more
 than income redistribution - from America's middle class to Bush's super-rich, war-mongering friends.

 Even without the black-budget stolen billions, why can't some news organization put together a detailed
 list of the billions made by Halliburton, Carlyle, Bechtel and BIG OIL since Monkeyboy took over?

 We know why - because the American media is in on the scam.

 GE (NBC) is getting billions in unearned tax bribes, so they further the bloody Bush lies.
 Newscorp (FOX) is getting billions in unearned tax bribes, so they further the bloody Bush lies.
 Viacom (CBS) is getting billions in unearned tax bribes, so they further the bloody Bush lies.
 Disney (ABC) is getting billions in unearned tax bribes, so they further the bloody Bush lies.
 AOL-TW (CNN) is getting billions in unearned tax bribes, so they further the bloody Bush lies.

 We have no free press - they are all on the Bush payroll.

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"If you voted for Bush you can't take a dump here. Your asshole is in Washington."
    - Men's room Outback Steakhouse, Tacoma, Washington

 Subject: How long wil MSNBC keep you on?

 Hey Joe,

 I remember the reason from MSNBC for canceling Phil Donahue show was because his ratings
 were low even though his show did better than "Hardball" and it did much better than what CNN
 was showing at that time slot it was cancel after six months. Yet your show is receiving ratings of  0.4.

 Your show usually finish dead last in the time slot since it started. Outside the head bobbing ditto heads
 with their submissive wives and neo nazis who else watches the show? And if it's rating is the bottom line
 at MSNBC, how long before we see Scarborough Country swan song?

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 Is membership  worth $5 a month when you're on a tight budget?

 Codifying Those Commandments
   by Kerry Tomasi   as seen on DU

  Click  Here

 If the recent flap over the granite monument in Alabama reveals anything, it's that a vast majority of US citizens
 - anywhere from 70-80% in recent polls - support having the Ten Commandments prominently displayed in
 government buildings. The message 'we the people' appear to be sending is this: the "Ten Commandments"  is the
 rock on which our constitutional form of government was founded, and must be acknowledged and honored as such.

 In light of this outpouring of support, and the level of fervor expressed, we have to presume that the next step for
 our elected officials is to incorporate all of these commandments into our civil laws, and enforce them properly.

 Let's take a look at the "Ten" (Exod.20:1-17) and see how this might be accomplished.

 Subject: My new radio show

 I now have my own radio show here in Hawaii and can be listened to Mondays
 from 12pm-2pm Hawaii time (3pm-5pm PST, 4pm-6pm mountain, 5pm-7pm CST,
 and 7pm-9pm in the East) and you can find it here:

 Houston Wade

 Reactions to Smirk's speech

"We must keep this commitment in Iraq. I will support him, I will support spending that money,
  and I hope we decide that there's other ways to pay for it, as well as just adding to the deficit.''
    - Sen. Joseph Biden, D-Tutu.

   "I love this president!!"

 Real wounds from Bush's fake war
   saw it on
 This might ruin your afternoon, but these brave men have to live with lost limbs forever.

  Click  Here


 Betrayed by a Pinhead's hardon for Iraq's oil

 Subject: coverup

 Why is Bush spending 15 times more investigating the Columbia disaster
 than on the investigation into what caused the September 11th attacks?

 Rheon Wyn

 I'll bet it's because Bush didn't know about the Columbia disaster in advance.

College football, pro football,
baseball pennant races
All this and more at...

Click to Enter

 Bush's American soldier body count in Iraq
 It now stands at  287, 304 counting the injured who have since died.

 Soon, we'll be at 400.
 How long before we hit 600?  Or 1000?

 The Pentagon released new figures, reflecting the wounded who have since died.

 Total deaths since the frog-blaster said, "Bring 'em On":  83+

  Perhaps 1,200 wounded - missing arms, legs and eyes.
 How much more are we willing to tolerate?

 It's from

In trouble?
 Call the

You have two minutes to speak your peace.

 Race Jokes with Rush Limbaugh

"Did you hear about the jewish child molestor?   He hid in the bushes and said,
 'Hey little boy, wanna buy some candy?'         ...talent on loan from God."

  Listen to Rush weekdays from noon - 3pm Eastern
  The EIB network, the White spot on your dial.

 Have a good time today - that's an order.

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                                  Conason  ......         McDougal      H Clinton                     Franken           ... Hightower         M Moore


 Read the Previous Issue

 It had  everything.

 Copyright © 2003,

 Shrl, call  The BartPhone,  just to say "Hi!"
 Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!

 You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-493-1500
 That would be really cool, and we'll catch you at The Joint on your next American tour.  and BartCop are trademarks of attempts at humor.

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