We Stand Corrected
                   By Chris Floyd


              In the interest of fairness, balance, responsibility and even-handed open-mindedness
              (or is it even-minded open-handedness? Whatever it is, we’ve got gobs of it), the
              Global Eye would like to issue a correction of an earlier item that was critical of the new
              president of the United States.

              Last week, we made somewhat caustic remarks about the celebrations marking the
              peaceful — even somnolent — transfer of power in Washington. Using terms that
              were not always in keeping with the New Era of Civility so eloquently proclaimed from
              the inaugural podium, we disparaged those hard-working entertainers who gave up
              their valuable time to, in Walt Whitman’s memorable phrase, "sing the body electric" in
              praise of the nation’s new leader. We implied — or may have implied — that celebrities
              such as Kelsey Grammer, Ben Elton, Norm McDonald, Andrew Lloyd-Webber and
              others were lending their talents to an outrageous sham, a corporate-financed
              multimillion-dollar spectacle designed to mask the gutting of the American republic by
              a special-interest clique of oligarchs and ideologues, with a willfully ignorant, woefully
              inadequate, feckless aristocratic goofball as their front man.

              We seemed to be saying that the presidency of George W. Bush is somehow illegitimate,
              based on a brutal display of partisan interference by a Supreme Court faction that had clear
              and undeniable financial stakes involved in the outcome, and on a concerted campaign of
              racial disenfranchisement in Florida the likes of which have not been seen since the
              decades following the Civil War. It could even be inferred that we believed the
              inauguration of Bush represents a moment of grave historical danger, akin to the last
              days of the Roman Republic, when self-seeking, power-hungry magnates, backed by
              small but rabid bands of fanatical followers, destroyed the ancient and honorable
              lifeblood of the state while retaining the empty shell of its outward forms.

              We were, of course, incorrect.

              Ben Elton did not appear at the inaugural ceremonies.

              His name was erroneously included on the list of participants by the inaugural committee’s PR office.
              The Global Eye deeply regrets this error.

              ha ha

              Oh, God, not only are the Russians making fun of how we got screwed,
              they did it with great, sneak-up humor - the toughest kind of joke to write.

              The whole world is laughing at how we got screwed,
              and instead of fighting back, the Senate Democrats
              are telling the rapist what a great lover he is.

              We in trouble.

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