Mail & Toons


Subject: A Memo To The Next Spy Crew

A memo to the next "spy crew" facing the "delivery" of one of our most
sensitive pieces of surveillance technology:
"In the event of an emergency, the seat cushion can be used as a flotation device"


Subject: "Solly" Talk

Hey Bartcop -
I've enjoyed the cartoons with the "solly" talk and all because they made
such good fun of Smirky's laughable response to China, but after reading
this article, I see that maybe I shouldn't be laughing so hard..
I don't consider myself racist.  Heck, I LIKE Asian people at least as much as WHITE people
like myself (ain't saying much).  I would NOT go out and make fun of chinese accents to an Asian
or in mixed company (maybe close friends though).  Heck, I'm going out to eat Chinese food tonight.
But I still thought those cartoons were funny.
Can we laugh at those cartoons without being rightfully considered tacitly racist?
I'm at an impasse.
Dan K.
PS: I like jokes about white people, too.

Yeah, I've been getting won ton of flack about some of the toons, but what can you do?
If we can't make fun of the Chinese skyjackers/kidnappers, we can't make fun of anybody.


Subject: Ditto-heads will believe anything!!

While flipping through the April edition of Readers Digest, I saw a letter to the editor that went
on a rant about how Harry Potter books are turning children to Satanic Worship, the writer cited
that 14 million children have turned to the church of Satan because of the Potter series.
And to back this statement up she named a online newspaper for the source of information,
and that source is none other than The Onion!!!

Needless to say I about wet myself reading that one, RD was kind enough to let the
submitter know that it is a satirical newspaper, and not to be taken seriously.
Proof positive, ditto-dorks will believe anything they read.
Keep up the good fight Bartcop, viva la resistance!!

ha ha
That's funny as hell.
Those guys at The Onion do great work.


Subject: Continued Interrogation

 From the transcript it was clear the pilot and crewmembers viewed Tim  Russert (R-No Dick)
as just another friggin' interrogator to be snowballed.  The techniques they used were ones we
(those of us who have real military experience, unlike 95% of the Repug leadership) learned
during military survival training.

Don't admit anything,
don't sign anything,
make requests for what you want,
don't let the enemy put words into your mouth.

What Russert didn't realize was that these guys just had an 11-day graduate-level refresher
on how to deal with assholes like him.

They may not be heroes, but they are definitely professionals who have earned my respect...


Subject: Dennis Miller

Dear Bartcop

I am writing this message to let you know how much I have been enjoying your website,
and to get something off of my chest.  I just finished enduring Dennis Miller's most recent
"I luv Dubya" rant, and I literally feel sick to my stomach.  I didn't even "get" his Al Gore slam.

Like you, I was once a fan of this shameless whore, but his betrayal has been total.
 I must say, that his descent into darkness did not take place overnight.
My respect for Herr Miller began to fade a couple of years ago, when I started to perceive
an increasing level of mean-spiritedness in his tired, "Clinton is a sex maniac" jokes.
The final straw, however, did not come until the first episode of this season,
when he called President Clinton a "low-rent, white-trash, fuck-up."

How could anybody (aside from a Freeper), find such below the belt slander to be funny?
I would like to nominate Dennis Miller for "Whore of the Year" dishonors.

Keep swinging that hammer Bartcop.

M. Yousafi

MY, good point.
I forget which guest it was, but Miller asked him or she * (homage to Pres W&S)
"Besides being a worthless fuck, what good is Clinton?"

That passes for comedy?
I don't think so.

Miller should have the brains to realize the Democrats won the last three popular votes.
Why in the world does he insist on pissing off the majority of his audience?

And contrary to what you might think, I love a good Clinton joke. But too many comics
think they can say the word "Monica" and the crowd should be doubled-up with laughter.
Sadly, Miller has fallen into that trap, too.



Subject: Chinaco Anejo!!  

Good Morning BartCop,
I have great news. I just returned from a trip to Las Vegas for a family reunion, and I'm happy
to report that I've located another establishment that serves the illustrious Chinaco Anejo.
It's a restaurant called La Salsa and it's located on the second floor of the Luxor hotel.
They've got great appetizers as well... their Mexican pizza and taquitos are to die for!:)

By the way, Isaac Peterson says hi.  I've known Isaac for a couple of years now and
I think you made a really excellent decision in asking him to write for your website.
He's one of the most articulate & knowledgeable people I know.
Anywho, hope you have a great day!


Dana, yes, Isaac writes good stuff!
I loved that story about trying to catch the bigot's reaction on tape.
It reminded me of that Dick Van Dyke where Rob thought they had the wrong baby.
Then Greg Morris (Million Impossible) showed up in person to explain.
ha ha

Rob said, "Why didn't you tell me you were black?"
and Morris said "And miss that expression on your face?"

Tell Isaac he should write more often.

...and right now, I have Vegas fever of 103, but New York will have to come first.
We're scouring the NY bars to see who carries The Canaan Miracle.

Thanks for the note, and I'll remember the Luxor.


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