The Revelation of Bartcop, which the universe gave to him, to show to his readers things which
must eventually come to pass, which were sent and signified to by the spirits unto his servant, Pam.

I was into the spirits on a gloomy Monday, and heard behind me a great voice, as of a trumpet.
Saying, "I am really sick of all the blithering on the radio talk shows, and would like to straighten things out.
What thou seest, write in an e-mail, and send it unto the world wide web, that we may stop some of this nonsense".

I turned to see the voice that spoke with me.  Having turned, I saw that it was one of my lamps talking to me.
That frightened me.  But what the heck. I had a couple of shots of Chinaco, and it seemed to make perfect sense again.

After several personal messages that were to be sent off to certain members of Congress (most of which were probably deleted because, rather than dealing with the opinions and concerns of their constituency, they have classified such messages
as "spamming"), the lamp offered to show me a few things that "must be hereafter".
Being in a jovial mood because of the Chinaco, I said, Why not?

All of a sudden, I saw a throne, with a smirky bastard sitting on it, and around the throne were 535 Representatives
and Senators; approximately half of which had big frowns on their faces.    The half which did not have big frowns
were kneeling and, well, that's more than you really want to know, but were "paying homage" to the smirky bastard
one by one.  Gag me with a hamster.  And I wept much, because no man was found who was willing to ask them
what the hell they thought they were doing.

And one of the elders saith unto me, "Weep not; behold, the Lion of the tribe of Americans, the Root of Liberal Honesty,
hath prevailed to open the scroll, and to loose its seven seals."

And I beheld, and lo, in the midst of the throne, stood Bartcop, holding high the mighty hammer of truth.
And the frowning non-fellators were taken with joy, and praised Bartcop, saying,
"We are not worthy!!  We shall cover now our asses and take no more from  the whores of babble-on".

And Bartcop opened the scroll, and removed the first seal.  Beneath it was the story of a stolen election, and the assent of a false president into a powerful position.  The second seal revealed a plot by the false president to get us involved in wars in Korea, Russia, and China.  The third seal invoked visions of children and the elderly starving while the wealthy ate caviar and gold-leaf decorated chocolate cakes.  The fourth seal was broken, and lo, the people saw that our democratic government was dying, being choked off by the foul and unconstitutional actions of the followers of the smirky one.

When Bartcop broke the 5th seal, the battered remains of the Democratic party rose up, and were filled with zeal for the  restoration of our country.  As the sixth seal was broken, anarchy broke out across the land, smiting down the pompous and hypocritical who had forced the country into servitude for so long.  And the kings of the earth, and the media pundits, and the rich men, and the oil barons, and the mighty, hid themselves in their dens, and found themselves with only mediocre tequila to
sooth their troubled spirits.  And they shouted unto the universe, "Smother us, and hide us from the face of Bartcop,
for the day of his wrath has come, and it's really freaking us out.".

And after these things, I saw four angels standing on the four corners of the earth, and the faithful of democracy
were restored to power, while all those who had supported the usurper were banished to Hell for eternity.
Of the 4 republicans remaining on earth,  3 took up body-surfing the Atlantic coast and the other has been
unavailable for comment.  A special election was held, with Bartcop capturing a record 99.6% of the vote,
with a 98% voter turnout, for the presidency.  As president, Bartcop has little time  for the continuation of
bartcop.com  so the website is, at least for the moment, sitting idle.  He has appointed Hillary Clinton as
vice president, and is spending his days working with what's left of Congress to make life better for all Americans.