Ton o' mail and toons


Subject: What I done in my first 100 days....

I just saw a teaser on CNN for their "Special Report" on W's first 100 days.
It will air in it's glorious entirety on Sunday. They must mean "special" in that "special" way!

They had Andy Card on there, talking about how W gets up early, and shows up in the oval office,
"Very well groomed - Dressed for success".  I suppose we should all be very proud of him,
because he can put his own clothes on, BEFORE he even sees Andy Card in the morning.

Whatta BIG BOY!!

I'm sure Laura picks out his clothes for him, but who is responsible, ultimately, for making sure
he brushed his teeth? I guess we'll have to tune in!

The rest of the teaser was about how W really, REALLY doesn't like it when cell phones and
beepers go off around him. They showed a clip of when this happened, and we're treated to a
LONG MEANINGFUL smirk and "uh-oh's" from the gathered crowd.
They all know the sound  of a cell phone makes him frightened and confused.
That's not good.

Teasers are supposed to make you tune in, but if this is the best they've got, most people will
probably pass. What else is there, besides who checks on his teeth?
Are they going to show us W's RIGHT way to make a peanut butter & jelly sandwich?

It would be funny, if it weren't so koresh-damned FRIGHTENING!!!!!!


Subject: macho militaristic patriotic China bullshit

I see that you are not the least bit open minded on this topic, so I will
try again at some other point in time.  I can't read this stuff, not from you.

Doesn't it make you wonder when you find yourself agreeing with the right wing???

It's funny - on the spy plane, you and the Demos agree with Rush and Smirk.
Strange bedfellows, indeed.

Why are you assuming that it's *China* who is the bully?

It's illogical to think our airplane was playing chicken with a jet fighter.

Didn't we just kill some Japanese students?
You second-guessed the U.S. on that one.

No, I second-guessed the GOP having fat cats drive the sub that did the killing.
I stand by our men in uniform, but I don't like Smirk's lies.

I think your problem is that you don't have any Asians in OK.

Thank you for pointing out "my problems."
I could point out some of yours, but I'm in a chartible mood today.

I don't go for this patriotic crap.
I'm a citizen of the planet.



Subject: Like your site, even though...

Let's be honest. I know you're a propaganda arm of some Democratic organization,
probably the DLC. No individual could maintain a site like this with all the content changing,
plus the cost of all that archive space on the server, and still hold down a job.

Yes, it's true, I may as well confess.
This is a big, fancy website with tons of money and tons of writers.
We get fed bunched of cool stories from the DLC, which sends me $5,000 a week.
I'm asking for contributionms to cloak my true income sources.
How did you find me out?

And the remarks about your favorite brain-destroying booze and favorite TV shows is a cute cover,
making it seem as if a real, outraged individual was behind this propaganda effort.

ha ha
I thought of that myself.
The "IQ of 64" business throws a good smokescreen, too.

That said, you have the right take on Bush. He is an idiot.
(Of course,  so are the American people for letting him get away with it.)
The real point is that you don't advocate anything; you only attack.

If you can find an issue on which I haven't taken a position, I'll...  do something...

As a DLC "false flag" operation, that's what I'd expect; if you actually advocated a candidate,
you'd have to be supported by one candidate or another, and the Democratic Party is too much
in shambles to figure out a consistent position, let alone who they want to run next time.

The "shambles" part is 100 percent correct.
If things keep going like they are, by default, I will become a "big democrat."

Sorry for using a semi-anonymous e-mailer, but I really don't want to receive a ton
of political spam from your bosses. I just want to vote for a good candidate - if we ever get one,
or even have the right to vote again.

With best regards, The Evil Reader

Don't worry about my bosses at the DLC.
They're scared bunnies.


Subject: Dumbass cuts $$ for abused children


President Dumbass hasn't done one thing his his first 100 days that
hasn't caused nausea or laughter.

Just when I thought I was out of outrage, I read that the Bush Budget
cuts funding for abused children by 20 percent. That's right, money for
kids who are beat, starved, neglected, or abandoned by their caregivers.

 My wife works for a county Child & Youth Protective Services, where she had
front row seats to see the suffering of these children. Everyone knows child abuse occurs
and is a bad thing. Neither I, nor I'm sure the fine readers of BartCop, can comprehend
how badly so many children in our nation suffer from abuse and neglect. 99.9 percent
of these cases remain in the system and out of view.

Smirk wants to take money away from hungry 4-year-olds with black eyes
and cigarette burns, and 12-year-old girls pimped by their step-fathers.
All so he can give a stinkin' wad a cash to the wealthy.

Let's call compassionate conservatism what it is -- bald-faced cruelty..

Hammer on, BC



Subject: Bush Secret Vietnam Era Confession

Not to be outdone by Sen. Kerry, Pres. Bush also confessed to a serious
crime while serving in the Texas Air National Guard.

Mr. Bush said that on numerious occasions,
he did not pay his Bar Tab at the O-Club.

Mark Shotzberger
Captain, USAR (retired)

ha ha

Privacy Policy
. .