The Cunning Linguist

 One place I always love to go back to is Big D, Dallas, Texas. Gubner
 Smirkville land. I will be making a trip there over the 4th of July.
 Anticipating we will have a great time, I thought I better get myself some
 protection. No, I'm not talking about a packet of a rolled up condominiums
 for my wallet, but a new and more secure wallet. In Day-Glo orange. My
 protection from the po-lice. I'll be in the West End and the DPD has a
 tendency to be less lenient on "foreigners." To them, I live on the wrong
 side of Red River. So, just in case I get stopped, and I have to reach for
 my...........wallet, I don't want some Sheriff Barney, telling me, "okay Mr.
 Lightning jist ease them pistols out real slow, like molasses in winter."
 When I reach, it will just be my Day-Glo orange wallet. Just so there's no
 mistaking it for my Glock!

 Brain Smasher always likes to attempt to better himself, so I have taken up
 studying a new language. We have learned our first greeting and I am still
 working on translating it and hoped you insectia would be so kind as to help
 out ol' Brain Smasher. It starts out "Oh Wah." This the initial salutation.
 Like "Hi there." Reminded me of wah, wah like stuff Petey Frampton used to
 do. Then you say "Ta-Ta." Like in English, when you say Ta-Ta, in a breezy
 way to say to say good-bye, or maybe used in the sentence, "She has nice
 ta-ta's." I think it's closer to the breezy way, but it means something
 similar in English, "Are you aware of?" Then you have something similar to
 this, "&," an ampersand, but it roughly translates into the letter/word "A."

 With me so far? Next is "Fooo." Short "O" like in egg foo yung. The
 translation is "not being aware of." I think. Lastly, is "Liem." Like in Liam
 Neeson But pronounced in the English sense Lie, rather then Lee. Meaning
 "loosely about or being oneself."
 So let's say this all together and see if we get the sense of it. "Oh Wah,
 ta-ta, 'a', Foo, Liem. Say it quickly. There you go, I think you now
 understand what it means!

 I was teaching that to my concubine and she said breathlessly,
 "Oh Brain Smasher, what a Cunning Linguist you are!

 Well I'm off to shake the sugar tree! "Ta-ta!

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