Subject: My apartment is a Rush-Sty.

 Bart,

 In issue 118 you asked us to write to tell you which of your jokes
 were the worst (you said that you wanted some criticism).

 Let me give you some criticism:

 I accidentally found your site about 36 hours ago.
 I have spent two full working days reading your stuff.

 My criticism is that I think you have put something in your articles like nicotine or formaldahyde.
 I need to get to sleep but I keep hitting the button that says Previous Issue.

 I can't stop. Last night I stopped for a while but i got back up at the
 laptop and began the process all over again. I did go out for lunch today
 (it was about 6 p.m. before I could break away from your articles)
 but that has been my only break from bartcop.com.

 Please help me.

 I need a BartPatch or something so I can leave this laptop for a while.
 I am single (that is my excuse why my apartment is a Rush-Sty) 
 and I have friends coming over tomorrow from Bartlesville (OK) for a visit.
 I need to at least give the apartment a LITTLE cleaning but there are about
 175 more archived articles that I have not read yet. Help.

 Bob in Oklahoma.

 
 ha ha

 Ladies and Gentlemen,
 this is my long-lost college roommate Bob!

 Let's hear it for Bob!

 (Crowd roars)

 Thanks, Buddy.