Tammy Phillips, a 35-year-old partner in a gym in Carrollton, Texas had an 18 month long affair with GOP presidential nominee George W. Bush that ended in June, 1999 according to published reports based on an interview with Ms. Phillips.

Phillips is a former stripper, who began dancing in clubs at age 14. She claims she was introduced to Governor Bush by her uncle, a prominent Republican, in December 1997 during a political function at a hotel in Midland, Texas.

Political analysts have long expected sordid tales about Bush's prior wild, alcohol-and-cocaine lifestyle to be made public during the campaign, but few details have so far been published about his sexual adultery during his years as governor of Texas. Several expressed surprise about the affair with Tammy Phillips.

"It means that he stopped fooling around just prior to announcing his presidential run," said one astonished source.

Incredibly, the GOP now finds itself in the uncomfortable position of claiming that the press and investigators have no right to invade Bush's privacy. The laughter from the Democratic side of the aisle in Congress was so loud it could be heard even at locations outside the Beltway, as politicians and voters alike recalled that the Republicans spent hundreds of millions of taxpayer dollars and eight years investigating every detail of the President's sex life, then carefully and illegally leaked it to an increasingly tabloid national "news" media intent on outsleazing the Internet.

It'll never happen, folks.