Subject: helping with the dark cloud
I wrote BartCop the other day and suggested a
financing idea for the treehouse.
While it's a little kooky, it just might work.
Larry Flynt has bottomless pockets, and has shown before he's not afraid of a little controversy. I wonder if he would be interested in joining the wide world of bartcop.com. With those kind of dollars, BartCop would not only have the biggest hammer on the Web, he would easily have the contacts and the financing to get BartCop Radio off the ground.
Would you possibly have, or know where we could
get, a mailing address for Mr. Flynt?
I would be more than happy to write that letter, and submit it to all for their approval.
I am most likely biased, but I think BartCop is Rush Limbaugh and FAUX News' worst nightmare.
Julie, it would be strange working for Mr. Flynt,
but I know he's a First Amendment nut, so there you go.
Subject: Willing to move to k-drag and help out Bartcop
Okay, living in Florida is getting on my nerves,
especially here in the Panhandle, (interesting name seeing
as how most of this part of the state is sucking off the gov't tit, Panhandle = Panhandlers)
Updating resume, will post on web and start job
search in Oklahoma,
once i obtain a job will work for Bartcop for free to help cover the slack.
Significant experience with Information Technology
support, Microsoft Products,
Dreamweaver, Cold Fusion, yada yada yada ... will let you know how job search progresses...
Scott, thanks for the offer, but we'd need a plan for that to work.
Anybody have a plan?
Subject: If its $ you need, just ask...
I would think with 800K visitors, hell if everyone just sent in a $ you could retire.
Why not ask for some $ from your readers.
I'd send in $10 or $20 if I knew it would make the difference.
Jim - Nashville
Those are the same 8 people clicking 100,000 times
The donations I'm getting help, but the real purpose of the dark cloud talk was hoping
some station manager that wasn't happy with his all-right-wing-Nazi bastard format
might consider giving some equal time to the MAJORITY that won the last three popular votes.
I guess that won't happen until somebody figures out why truth-telling
libs are so boring
and why flaming, Nazi gasbags are so Koreshdamn fascinating
Subject: The Dark Cloud
Isn't there a way to set up a "subscriber" formula?
Hell, I'd pay uh,...well...a LOT! I'm sure a lot of regular readers would.
200 people at, say, $50 a month, would net
10 grand a month, a princely sum in K-Drag.
Or 400 people @$25. Whatever.
Don't know the legalities, but lots of us would
give up porn to keep bc on the net.
Well, maybe that's extreme, but I've already given up $ to the DNC, so I've got some extra cash right there!
Larry, it'd be my best guess that the subscription thing wouldn't work.
First, people would accuse me of "getting rich," even if nobody subscribed.
Second, one guy could subscribe, then forward that day's bartcop.com to his friends,
which I wouldn't feel right complaining about since I do that to columns every day.
Plus, there's not much demand for a Bartcop subscription service.
Right now, nobody knows what a Bartcop is, so who'd sign up?
I'm not saying it's a bad idea, but it may be premature.
Subject: My support/ Dark Cloud solutions
Welcome back...here's a note of encouragement
and an idea I sent to bc yesterday. I wonder if assigning
some of us to be "beat writers" for certain things (I can do religion--keeping an eye on fundies while
correcting their "spin" from a progressive standpoint.)
Would that help? Or is the problem with
doing the page layout?
Alas, I admit I don't know beans about laying out and producing a web page. Plus I'm a stay-at-home dad,
and "Hurricane Anna" doesn't afford me enough time for something like web design.
I'll try to send a check soon. When I do,
I will also send an e-mail of what the postmark
and return address label look like so you/bart won't have to worry about a bogus mailing.
I wish I could be of more help to you guys...you
are both a blessing to us. If you need someone
to cover the religion beat from a liberal/progressive standpoint (that means beating the fundies and
their bogus theology like a rented mule!), I'm your guy. Plus, I work cheap...FREE!
Let me know how I can help,
I think "beat writers" is what I have now.
It really helps to have RB Ham, Isaac, and Marty at BartCopE! using the same link each day
so I don't have to re-format their columns in order to post them
The mechanics take up a lot of time, but for someone to help with that,
they'd almost have to live at BartCop Manor and we're not ready for that - yet.
If you want to send religious stuff in - go ahead.
Try to make it funny or interesting, and thanks for the offer.
Subject: Dark Clouds suggestion for Bartcop
I have enjoyed your site for a few months now,
ever since I clicked my way over from Media Whores.
I took your suggestion and voted for you as my favorite media site to get news (I forget already who I
even sent it to...). I have even been thinking seriously about making a contribution to bartcop.com,
and I'm sure I will sometime soon.
Here's my "dark clouds" suggestion.
About ten years ago, I was a banquet waiter at
the Ritz-Carlton Hotel in St. Louis. I sweated my balls off
in a tuxedo, lugging 80-pound trays loaded to the rafters with very fancy, very expensive dinners All the while
the diners were serenaded by this nice jazz background dinner music, the same music I was playing at home
for myself on guitar in my spare time.
Something was wrong with that picture.
I took things into my own hands and asked around
the hotel about music. I got a shot to audition for the
Executive staff meeting with my then-recent partner Michael, who played flute while I strummed and sang.
We were a hit, and the hotel began hiring us almost immediately.
Ten years later, now, I have a very small but
fairly lucrative music business. The band's name is Silk Pajamas.
We specialize in background music for corporate functions, but the music is quality. No Kenny G; no
"Music Of The Night" or other Andrew Lloyd Webber inanities; just straight out great instrumentals
and Big Band classics focussing on Sinatra and Bennett's stuff, in a Small Band setting. We're good.
My point? If I didn't take a risk and decide to
go for it, I would still be lugging trays and grumbling about the boss.
I'm my own boss, doing what I want to do, because I'm good at it. People pay me for my talents,
You should be getting paid for yours, too.
I advise you to spend your entire time on the
website and try to get it to pay you a decent living.
I paid $30 for a Salon Premium subscription and I visit your site about 4 times as often.
They're very good, and deserve their place on the Web for sure, but you are good, too.
Get a subscription thing going like they have.
Stay free, but charge people for some kind of extra service.
Maybe to post or chat, which might be iffy since people can do that anywhere, but your visitors are pretty loyal, I'd bet.
They want to help you out. I know I do.
Also--I'm a vegetarian who doesn't believe in
killing animals, let alone people. I'm not really a pacifist,
and I wear leather shoes, but I can't swallow flesh or abide by killing of either innocent or guilty parties.
Still--I respect you for your WTC-syndrome-induced
rages you posted. It's your opinion, your site, and your brain
making the calls. Neither you nor I are God (or Koresh), and we can't tell the other what to think. What I'm saying is,
you won't find me (or any other person worth having as a friend) ditching you because of what you wrote, or will write.
It's just not cool to dump everything at a time like that. I know. I've lost some cyber-friends who have practically shunned
me for my views. It seemed like you were surprised when it happened to you over your comments to "glass 'em."
Fuck 'em, man. Go with your gut at all times.
That's what writers SHOULD do, anyway...
That subscription idea seems to be picking up steam, but I'd hate to cut anybody out.
Maybe we could have a "lite" version and a subscription-only version, but already, that sounds like twice the work.
What I need is a human being version of Richard Mellon Scaife, someone
willing to put up
a few bucks to see the MAJORITY opinion get a little airtime.
Right now, all we get is whatever Mr. Rove has his toadies print.
Subject: The Dark Cloud...
Even if you have to return to a few issues a week
of the online Bartcop, hang in there. Sometime this coming year,
I'll fly you to LA to do a "demo" cd of what Bartcop Radio would be like. I'll then shop it to some broadcast
syndicators. Even if we get three stations in the country (say, LA, SF, and another liberal leaning town),
that'll be enough to support you and your wife. Your Chinaco habit may require ten more stations, though...
However, it will be easier to sell if there is still an accompaning website still getting hits that we can advertise the stations on.
By the way, though he is a whack job, I'm using
Art Bell as a technical model. All he has are three phone lines
and a barebones studio living in the middle of a desert. Low overhead, big audience.
So... hang in there. YOU will be instrumental in the 2004 elections.
I like the way you're talking.
What I'd really like to do is an honest version of Rush's show.
You know, phones that are OPEN where a free exchange of ideas could happen.
Unlike Rush, I'd put the praise calls at the back of the line put and the heavy-hitting,
smart-ass ditto-monkeys at the front of the line - to make myself look smart by comparison.
I'd also have to have a sidekick with a brain, a "Mr. Spock" type, because
are hundreds of subjects (believe it or not) on which I'm not an expert.
Of course, this is my massive ego talking, but I think BartCop
Radio would be hell!
Whatever fun is found on these pages would be multiplied several times on the radio.
You can imagine the restraints posed at having to type EVERYTHING you wanted to say.
Oh, and I'd need Johnny-on-the-spot working the sneeze button, too,
they call the button they hit when I start using the language most Americans use
Tommy, send me your phone number and I'll call you.
Maybe this won't work, but we won't know till we try.
Or, I'll be in Vegas this weekend, maybe we could hook up...
Subject: Job advice from a pro
Tell BC that for starters he needs to update his
personal situation link to remind folks just exactly what it is that
he does for a living! I've only been reading BC for two years now, but I don't recall him EVER saying just what
it is that he does. It's kind of hard for "angels" to step in if they don't know what they are stepping into.
Secondly, in twelve years as a resume writer and
as an online pioneer in the field of career development, I can think
of very few times a broadcast appeal has worked in helping a client get a job. You must go to the employer; employers
do not come to you. There really are no exceptions: anyone who would seek out BC because of this broadcast plea
is 99% unlikely to be propelled by anything resembling the proper motivations (that and it's a tragic given that liberals
are almost nonexistent among the ranks of those who hire).
What I would recommend is that this broadcast
plea be rewritten along the lines of trying to encourage people to
send BC leads. In that regard such a solicitation can be incredibly effective. This still requires BC to do some
sleuthing and research, but frankly any job seeker who doesn't will get worse than they deserve.
I would be more than happy to consult with BC
on this and he is welcome to fax, e-mail or call me (even a Naderite
can be a good team player, and in all candor I am a brilliant job coach [Heading: those who can't, teach]).
I run the finance office for a car dealer in K-Drag.
Not sure that info would would make or brake a deal with an angel, tho...
The only thing an employer needs to know is if I'm availbale for hire, and the answer is yes!
Secondly, I am NOT saying I'm a talented writer or performer, but compared
to some of
the crappola that's currently on the radio and TV, I sometimes feel like Robin Williams.
It would be nice to be "discovered" the way Marc Perkel found me.
He saw my old newsletter and asked me if I'd like to take it to another level.
(Did you ever hear the story of how Springsteen found Clarence Clemmons?
They say he was in NY or NJ in the pouring rain and stepped into a club
to avoid getting drenched and saw Clarence tearing up that sax & hired him.
The Treehouse is kinda like a small club, I just need a big-ass rainstorm.)
I just need someone to write and say they want to take the page to a
With all the crap entertainment and lying political weasels on the air right now, funny there's
no room for a smart-mouthed, liberal know-it-all with lots of strong opinions on everything.
Do me a favor, send me your phone number and we'll talk.
Or, I'll be in Vegas this weekend if you're nearby...
Subject: Dark Cloud
Dear Christian and Bartcop,
If there is no other way to resolve this, then
you must cut back on what BartCop produces.
We can easily accept that, instead of Bartcop folding totally.....
Denise, you are correct, but it would drive me crazy going backwards.
Truth is, bartcop.com has been too big for one person
to handle for almost two years, now.
It's too small to hire people to help, so I'm stuck in this Limbo (Catholics understand) trying to
hang on until things get bigger so something good can happen!
My biggest complaint now is that there are so many hundreds of untold
I can go thru a USA Today and circle 15 stories to rant about, but there's only time
for a few of them so the other 10-12 stories just get thrown away and that's no good.
I'm putting maybe twenty percent of what's in my head on the page.
I feel like, with help, I could produce five times what's going out now.
If I have to cut back, and drop that twenty percent to ten percent or five percent, it would
increase the frustration of not being able to get anything done and drive me more crazy than I am.
But I see no circumstances where BartCop would fold entirely.
Subject: Possible "Dark Cloud" Solution
I think I may be able to help with Bart's problem, in a roundabout kind of way.
I have been a loyal reader since January of this
year. I like a lot of what I find on this site - stuff I
definitely don't find in the mainstream - but I always wished it looked a little better. I've often thought
of mocking up a redesign and trying to pitch it to Bart, but never got around to it.
Now, finding that Real Life may be impinging on the amount of time Bart has to update his site, the idea hits me.
www.bartcop.com is running
on Apache on a Linux server. I am a Web designer who knows a little bit
about using PHP and mySQL to create dynamic sites (in fact, I'm working on one now). I would be more
than happy, once my current project goes live, to work up a database for bartcop.com, write up a PHP
front end, set up a handy-dandy quick-update page for easy administration, and try my best to streamline
the job of maintaining the site. Hell, I'll throw in a redesign while I'm at it, if Bart says OK. :)
Let me know if I can be of service.
Chris, thanks for the offer.
The times I've tried to update the page or "slick things up," people write in droves
and tell me they like the "simpleton" look I have now so much better.
I've often used the Jimmy Page example: Instead of Page looking for
a singer, a bass player,
a drummer, a record label, a place to practice, a list of concert venues etc etc etc, it made
more sense for him to get in a band like the Black Crowes and viola - he's in business.
I need to be adopted by somebody who already has a staff.
Hell, I think Saturday Night Live should hire me.
I couldn't crank out dozens of scripts a week, (probably) but I could damn sure
punch up those weak-ass skits they run during the second half of the show.
I'd be willing to start at the bottom, too. Remember Rob Schneider?
He started out saying "Making copies..." and now he's making bad movies for millions.
Surely, there's one funny remark in each of the 666 issues.
That means right away, I could bring 666 ideas to somebody's flagging, sinking ship.
SNL, I was just kidding when I said your writing was lame! But to be
honest, you guys
sometimes borrow a little bits from Ol' BartCop, so just hire me and you can steal whatever you want.
Subject: No, no, say it isn't so!
We need you! Of course I don't want to be
selfish, cause I know you have a family and a "real" job out there
that pays the bills, BUT so many of us (more than you think) read your website every single day and we just
can't get along without it! I have watched your hammer grow and grow. You have such a big following now
it would be a shame for you to have to give it all up. If I had the money I would give it to you so you could
afford to keep your website up and not jeopardize your job.
I'm not sure I could have made it this far (well,
I could have but I wouldn't have liked it) without reading these
gems on your site: horseshit, Koresh and pResident Weak and Stupid. You've helped me get through
these rough times and I could probably safely say the same thing about many other people who follow you.
You're the beacon in a dark world and the Alka
Seltzer for this ailing nation.
Don't desert us 'cause you are more important than you think.
I hope you find a benefactor soon.
Georgi, thanks, but let me repeat: I an NOT on the edge of closing down.
I'll be on the internet with strong opinions and a sense of humor until Koresh calls me home.
Again with the rock n roll analogies, but I feel like I've been
on the road, playing dives and
beer-soaked dancehalls for over five years and I think it's time things changed for the better.
Yes, that's what I need - a benefactor!
I read the other day that Jack Nicholson said he was a "BIG time Democrat."
Jack, throw me a half-million!
Barbara Streisand, Don Henley, Bon Jovi, Martin Sheen, Aaron Sorkin
I'll bet everyone on that list has invested in some lame-ass Peruvian emerald mine or some
broken-down New York apartment building that'll never pass inspection because
their accountant said they needed some tax losses to offset their hueueueuege income.
What could be a better tax loss than BartCop radio?
Subject: help for BartCop
ask for some volunteer writers....ask for some
help in putting the site together at least a couple of days a week
so BartCop can take some time off. Cut back on the number of issues if you have too....but please don't
give up on the site. When I get financially back on my feet....I will send some support to Bartcop.
Charlie, I won't give up the site.
But wouldn't it be fun if "BartCop" grew and turned into something?
Subject: Idea from NC
Bartcop is the best so the dark cloud is serious.
Aside from continuing fund raising, I think bartcop should apply to the Lillia Wallace
Foundation or the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation for innovative, honest journalism.
I'm unfamiliar with those foundations, but they sound like respectable organizations.
Would they want to be affiliated with something as sinister as bartcop.com?
From: RB Ham
Christian, consider and maybe forward to Bart, who knows?
Some of your contributors such as Isaac, Tally
and myself (just examples) could pull together to
help you post links, write material etc. Hell, to tell you the truth, I’m burning out trying to run my
own web site by myself – but I have a secret weapon. Zsuzsu.
I never tried Zsuzsu.
Is it 100% pure blue agave?
My wife is a bleeding computer genius, she may
be able to figure out a way to keep it going like that.
And you should take weekends off – relax and stay fresh.
Hell, cut out Wednesday too.
A burnt out Bartcop is an ineffective Bartcop.
The cause we fight for will be the defining moment of the new century.
We have a choice to make – between a Jackboot
Theocracy or a Democracy.
And as The US goes, so too will go the rest of the Western world.
RB, thanks for the kind words.
I appreciate the offer to help, but I don't think it's practical.
We'd all have to be on the same time schedule, and we're all spread out,
plus I might take a day off when you three are ready to publish, etc.
Subject: Dark Clouds
Bet there are enough of us out here who read BC
regularly, and mostly agree with him,
that an organized group could do most of the research, composition and editing of material
- as well as the assembly into web page format - so that BC could focus on brief commentary
and the other things he does well.
Start Where You Are
Do What You Can
Sono, thanks, but there's that pesky geographical problem again.
If I need help with something, I could send an e-mail, which probably wouldn't
get read until the next day, and by the time I saw the reply, the news would be old,
but maybe it would work on bigger projects.
Subject: Dark Clouds
BC et al,
I must first say, that a daily dose of BC would sorely be missed. With that said, I will tell you I made the
opposite decision a few years ago. My job started out great...but got busier. I was out ot town a lot, and
the marriage suffered. I quit, came home, and take care of the kids, now. Best decision I have made.
If BC can do two issues a week, couldn't others
stand in and do, maybe two or three issues?
It would be bartcop-lite, sure. Lots of great links to others that have web sites.....RBham, WRPitt.
Maybe a committee could decide in chat what to put out as an issue once a week.
I for one, would love to help..in any way. I have
some time, being home all day, but limited computer skills.
I might be able to do some html with this Sun Office software...but I haven't really tried it.
I did just post a Vacation Report on the Bartcop Forum.
Would stuff like that help?
I promise to remember my own camera next time!
Just tryin to help...good luck.
Subject: Dark Clouds
What is involved in handling the Bartcop site?
I'm not sure how much help
I can be, but it's possible that after the turn
of the year,
I'll have more time to do things like read email, etc.
What kind of assistance do you need?
I need divine intervention.
I need a fighter with deep pockets.
I need a Scaife with a sense of humor.
I need an angel with more money than brains.
I need a Daddy who owned a radio station when I was 16.
Subject: Dark Cloud solution
BC - Go spend a week in Insurance Class - get your Life/Disability license
Then sell group health to your friends in the
local business community. It makes no difference to them
who the agent is - the policy remains the same - you can even possibly get some of them to drastically
improve benefits for employees - and foster loyalty - for very little additional cost - sometimes.
One sale of a HMO/PPO hybrid plan to a firm with
20 employees would net you roughly $370
per month until you lose the account. Get 10 of those going and. . . well, duh . . . $3,700 per month.
If you don't want to service the accounts you could do what I did - namely - find a family operated
group health specialist firm and split the commissions with them 40-60.
All you would have to do would be to get some
interest and turn over the warm sales lead
to your partner firm, knowing they will take good care of everyone you send.
Of course . . . if your readers found out you
had crossed over to the dark side to become a
greasy insurance whore . . . well . . . maybe I'll give it some more thought.
BartCop - the Good Hands guy...
Subject: re:dark cloud
Try applying for an NEA grant.
You would be surprised at your chances.
I'd need help asking for help.
But one thing - I don't do urine work.
Would I still qualify?
Subject: Combatting the Dark Cloud
Here's my idea for helping keep Bartcop alive.
1. Set up Bartcop as a 501(c)4 organization (non-tax-exempt non-profit).
That idea has surfaced and been shot down.
They say major attorney fees, major accounting fees, forms of every kind
and the big boot of government always at my throat. Sounds tough to do.
2. Analyze the Bartcop reader base. Do an online
survey and ask readers to respond.
Ask them if they'd be willing to contribute a small annual sum as a subscription to help keep Bartcop going.
Send e-mails to regular Bartcop readers (check all those e-mail addresses on the unread e-mails backed
up in Bartcop's mailbox) to everyone who has visited Bartcop, if you have their addresses, or e-mailed Bartcop,
or who has participated in the forums. Based on the counter at the bottom of the page, that's a pretty large customer base.
Hmmm, you mean like the honor system?
It'd be tough to quit my low-paying job on the strength of that.
If I didn't have the six kids, it might be easier...
3. If the results from the survey look encouraging,
start a subscription drive. The cost doesn't
have to be much; Salon.com only charges about $25/year, I think. You don't have to restrict
content to non-subscribers; just keep guilt-baiting them about how they are getting a free ride
while poor old Bartcop is being worn down to nothing keeping them amused. You get the idea.
The cost should be low; you could do it for as
little as $1a month, or $12 a year. Say Bartcop
has 30,000 regular readers. If all of them subscribed at $12 a year, you'd collect about $360,000.
(Yeah, I know, not likely, but if 3,000 readers responded, that would be $36,000 a year.)
The proceeds from the subscriptions should go to supporting Bartcop (the corporation should
pay him a salary) so he can keep the hammergrowing.
Back when I was in the rock n roll club business, we sorta used
We'd spend $150 for an ad in the K-Drag paper, thinking if only one percent
of the people who saw the ad came to the club it would be 4,000 people.
Most nights we'd have less than 40 people, and the club died.
I don't mean to be Joe Pessimist, it's just that I'm so old I've tried everything.
4. I'd also look into exploring foundation grants.
There must be some liberal-leaning foundations
out there wanting to give money to counter the growing conservative cast of the mainstream media.
That idea is growing on me more and more,
but who'd put money into bartcop.com?
I mean, Hell, if I was the head of the DNC, I'd throw a few thousand here & there to the web sites that
were fighting our battles because the gelding didn't have the balls to fight on their own, but so far - nothing...
Another possibility is for all the liberal sites
to form a consortium to pool resources so as to keep
costs down - say a network on the 'Net. The consortium could solicit funds on behalf of all the sites.
Many local organizations here in Philadelphia that got shut out of the United Way campaign started
their own pooled funds; for example, Women's Way, Bread & Roses, etc. All of these groups are
flourishing, and have for years here. Why can't we explore a similar method of funding liberal web sites?
Good idea, but could it work?
Who's pick the eligible sites?
Who'd distribute the grants?
How would new sites enroll?
Could the money be split 30 ways? Or 60 ways?
Who would contribute to a fund where the money might go to Ralph Nader
or Michael Moore or to a radical wildman like the guy over at bartcop.com?
I know I'm being selfish, wanting Bartcop to continue,
knowing the sacrifices he has already made,
but I also think us liberals should be willing to put our money where our mouths are. I saved a whole
chunk of change this year by telling the DNC to take a hike because of the craveness of our elected
Democrats, and I'd be more than happy to throw some of that Bartcop's way, so I'm issuing a challenge.
I will match contributions or subscriptions to Bartcop.com up to $1,200 - that's 100 $12 subscriptions.
You can post this on your site (please state that this is an anonymous challenge grant). When you reach
$1,200 in subscriptions, let me know and the check will be in the mail the next day.
I'll match that right now :)
Don't get me wrong, I'm sure my poor choice of words is adding to the
but $1200 isn't the answer to the problem. I have a low-paying job, but not that low.
Moving bartcop.com to audio or video would take gobs
& gobs of money.
As time goes by, maybe a regular reader will hit the lottery or inherit Gates bucks,
and something could happen then, but I'm in the party of small money.
Boy, if I was a Nazi pig, I'll bet I'd have a show on Fox this fall.
But between liberalism and honesty, there's not much demand for a bartcop.com
Things could change, tho...
If the press ever wakes the hell up and writes an honest stor about the stupidest
and least-deserving moron to ever steal an election, people might remember that
Ol' BartCop had Governor Smirk pegged waaaaaay back in 1999, but nobody listened.
I just need to hang in there until the people open their eyes.
Wish me luck.