My Devilish Dictionary
An Everyday Guide for Understanding G. W. Bush and GOP Terminology
by John Cory

"We will leave no child behind."
- A GOP slogan when properly interpreted meaning - No Survivors.

America, n. The unwitting, led by the undesired, in pursuit of the unwanted, for the glory of the unholy.
A land of glorious myth and aspirations held in dichotomy.

Compassionate, adj. The ability to judge others according to traditional values(see Conservative),
hence the title "compassionate conservative."

Conservative, n. One who supports traditional values i.e., extra-marital affairs,
multiple marriage vows, draft deferments, and corporate largesse.

Corporation, n. A constituent having political influence in direct proportion to campaign contributions. (see Supporter)

Election, n. A process of choice corrected by Supreme intervention. An act of Gods for the benefit of the elite.

Faith-based Initiatives, adj. Programs, which if implemented, will drive hordes of the nonreligious into the
nearest chapel in frantic prayers for deliverance and salvation. The EPA is an example of a faith-based initiative.

Foreign Policy, adj. A philosophy of American supremacy based on our having won WWII and our continued
ability to bomb whoever the hell we decide needs bombing.

Gossip, adj. evidence offered for Congressional Hearings

Gun Control, n. A device that provides better stabilization for aiming

HOLE, n. A hollow place; a small dingy squalid place. Also used as an acronym to describe talking-heads, e.g.
Hannity-O'Reilly-Limbaugh-Etal. A presidential term of endearment as in, "major-league A**HOLE!"

Military, n. An organization in which personal service is to be avoided by any future GOP leader. (see Patriotism)

NRA, acronym Non-Reality Affliction: a psychological condition affecting a small portion of the population.
Symptoms generally consist of tunnel-vision, repetitive digital strain of the trigger-finger, and loss of hearing from
loud explosions of outraged citizens. (Development of a cure is currently being under-funded by all means possible.)

Paradox, n. Two degrees of separation from reality i.e., Dr. Laura and Rush Limbaugh.

Patriotism, adj. Duty which is expected of lesser citizens who have no hope of attaining political or radio fame.

Supporter,n. A political contributor not yet nominated for an appropriate administration position.
One who has contributed less than was expected.

Vote, n. An act of expression by the populous largely ignored by the un-chosen.
              A slang term meaning, "an exercise in futility."

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