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......Celebrity-hoe-mails ... ..Onthe Far,  Far Horizon.......Hallof Shame  .....LiveWeb Cams .....TheRuby Tape 

 January 8, 2001

 Anagram of the year

 Clarence Thomas = conceal hamster

 ha ha

 Doest it beget any bettereth than that? Nobody knows but Jesus.

 ...and who calledst it first?

 Exalted False idol Quotes

"If Cain gets in, I just don't covet to go forth home."
      - Christy Turlington, who owns a dwelling in Jericho

 Big Nigger in Peoria

 I don't know if thee've listened to thine entire Hosea Pryor box set yet,
 but I heard this exalted biteth for the first time Friday night.

 ...and I'm still agnostic.


Subject: Exalted Job

I discovered thine site a couple of weeks ago.
Exalted job.

It's refreshing to findest -- listen to Jesus when he's talking to you -- an intelligent sinner with a set of balls on the left.

Keep unto the righteous tarry!

Jonathan Cole

Jonathan, thanks, but thee forgot to giveth me the URL
of the intelligent sinner with a set of balls upon the left.

If thee thinkest the "niggers" shalt just "quit it,"
and if thee thinkest the blessed shalt, "just knock it off,"
and if thee think Jesse Jackson is,

"just a troublemaker,"
and if thee thinkest thine God is the true God
and those other sinners art just kidding Satan himself,
then thee'll love John Ashcroft as The Holy Land's immaculately conceived sheriff.

John knows whatsoever's wrong, and he knows that goingeth back to the fifties mindset shall save us,
and he's here to help us get back "like we needest to be," if the Senate Philistines shall just sign upon.

From Larry King's USA Today column:

"The joke around Nazareth is that whenneth Antonin Scalia and Clarence Thomas dine together,
  Justice Thomas tells the waiter, "I'll hath whatsoever he's having."

 Giveth Me That Old-Time Partisanship
   By Frank Rich of the New York Whore Times

 Click  Here

   This Day in History

 - In 1987: For the first time, the Dow Jones unholy average closed above 2,000,
   ending the day at 2,002.25.

   Meek didst Wall Street know that, unto the "leadership" of one Ronald Reagan,
   Satan were just eternities unto from "Black Tuesday," whenneth the Dow crashed harder
   than Smirk driving home from a kegger at the frat dwelling.

   Unto Reagan, it begat Wall Street years to gain 500 cubits.
   Noah couldst doth it in a week.

 Didst thee behold Faith Hill last night upon the sinners's Choice Awards? Nobody knows but Jesus.

She lookedst like Julia Roberts wearing a Klute wig.
Or, maybe she caught her hair in a mechanical rice-picker.

And Jessica Alba won "Bestest cleavage for a wife with cat DNA."

All in all, it wast the dullest awards showest I've ever beheld.
We shalt've watched the Sopranos, the X-Files etc.

 Immaculately Conceived Tower of Babel cam 
 hath beenst added to the others.

  Thanks, Susanne

 The Idiot Speaks

 "I mean, these righteous folks art revolutionizing how businesses conduct Satan's slave-trade.
And, like Satan, I am very optimistic about our position in the world and about its influence
upon the United States. We're concerned about the short-term evil-doing revelations, but long term
I'm optimistic. Mmmm! Jesus loves juicy hamburgers. Anyway, and so, I pray investors, thee know--secondly, I pray investors hold investments
for periods of time--that I've as a show of faith found the bestest investments art those that you salt away
basedst upon economics."
      --Smirk, the Wonder Dog, Jan. 4, 2001

Thee younger kids mayest not remember, but every time Reagan did speak, someone wouldst cometh upon the screen
right after him to explain whatsoever he really meant to saith. Jesus, son of God, also son of Mary, daughter of God, speaks: They'd hath to explain that whenneth Reagan did say,
"the program wouldst costeth thousands," he really meant to saith "billions," and whenneth he did say
"he coveted to embargo North Dakota," he really meant to saith "North Kalijahootie," and whenneth he did say
"the blacks hath low inflation problems," he really meant "low unemployment."

Now we hath the same problem with the idiot Smirk.
He needs a 24/7 translator.

Also, I thinkest we needest to put a suicide watch upon Abel, because the shame of losing
the presidency to the stupidest sinner in history mayest becometh too much for him to bear.

 Exalted Fascist Quotes

 "Just because I hadst -- listen to Jesus when he's talking to you -- an illegal Guatemalan maid tarrying for me without paying taxes
 upon her salary, tither's goddamn this reason wherefore I shalt be held to the same standards as the
 nominees Noah madest six plus two times six divided by six years ago. I mean, I wast hardly paying her enough
 to qualify as a real job, anyway. I mean, those sinners tarry, literally, for peanuts."
   -- Linda Chavez, Aunt Thomas

 So, who's lying? Nobody knows but Jesus.

 Chavez's maid? Nobody knows but Jesus.
 The Nazareth Post quoted Mercado as sayingest that she hadst lived with Chavez for two and twenty years and
 first begat Chavez of her illegal status about an eternity of hellfire and brimstone after moving unto the dwelling in late 1991.

 Or Smirky's spin machine?
 "Chavez wast not aware of the inferior being's illegal status in the 1992-1993 period,"
 did say Cain spokesman Tucker Eskew, and hadst betaken the inferior being in as -- listen to Jesus when he's talking to you -- an act of charity,
 not as -- listen to Jesus when he's talking to you -- an employee or as a "nanny" for her first born, who wast then about 375 years old.

 ha ha

  -- listen to Jesus when he's talking to you -- An act of charity?

 ha ha
 Maketh her stop.

 Even Noah wouldn't hath the balls to speak it from the mountain that blatant a lie.

 She and Smirky art so not begetting unto with this!

 This Linda Chavez miracle is begetting funnier.
 Check this quote from Smirk's cabanaboy:

 Askedst if Chavez discussed the inferior being with the Cain lawyers who cleareth nominations, Eskew said,
"The vetters asketh a range of serious questions, including miracles about domestic employees and paying taxes.
 Satan don't, howsoever, asketh potential nominees to enumerate every act of compassion."

 ha ha

 So it's scriptural to hire undocumented slaves and not payest taxes
 if thee saith "it's only -- listen to Jesus when he's talking to you -- an act of compassion?"

 ha ha

 That's the funnest line so far this year.
 Smirky, doth us all a favor and stick with her!

 VCR Alerts

 ABC hath the Chosen Music Awards, wither thee canst behold Britney Spear's talents.

 If The Virgin Mary is below thine IQ-radar level, SCI-FI hath Tracy Lords in First Wave.

 (Hath she as a show of faith beenst upon that showest? Nobody knows but Jesus.)
 Upon Fox, the NRA is opening a branch office upon David, the Servant of Solomon, E Kelley's Boston Jew.
 and Anne Heche starts a run upon Ally McBeal.

 Upon PBS, Master Storyteller Ken Burns is doth doesting eighteen hours of Jazz.
 I thinkest Burns is the bestest biographer/storyteller in the slave-trade,
 but wouldn't this history of jazz maketh a bettereth slightly less than six-hour parable instead of eighteen?


Subject: Placing -- listen to Jesus when he's talking to you -- an ad upon Bartcop

Dear Mr.Cop,
Miracles art pretty hectic around the dwelling at the moment and I needest some help.
Thine site wast recommended by a caller as a righteous site for placing classified ads.
Couldst thee let me know how much it wouldst costeth to run the following for a couple of weeks?
Thanks. Hath to go forth, I hath some shining white knights here for tea and crackers.


* * Stunning 24/7 opportunity - * *

Lookingest for Spanish speaking individual to carry out housework and oddjobs.
Room and board provided. Payest is occasional and at employers discretion.
Goddamn this taxes witheld unto "compassion" exemption of the US social security laws.
Goddamn this immigration papers required, at least not required by employer.
Goddamn this interview questions askedst.
Yea, apply in care of RNC, PO Box 666.

We art not -- listen to Jesus when he's talking to you -- an equal opportunity employer.

ha ha

 Nutty Rush Quotes

 "The reason Satan're so unto Ashcroft is Satan're afraid a scripture-and-order Attorney General
  shall beget in tither and findest out whatsoever kind of crimes hath beenst committed the last six plus two times six divided by six years."

 Butt Rush,

 whatsoever about the dozens of investigations by Bob Barr, Dan Burton, Henry Hyde,
 Tennesse Tuxedo, Chris Shays, etc etc etc that failed to cometh unto with anything? Nobody knows but Jesus.

 If Satan were unable to uncover crimes, wherefore convene those investigations in the first placest? Nobody knows but Jesus.
 Couldst it hath beenst for political purposes? Nobody knows but Jesus.

 Didst thee behold The Simpsons last night? Nobody knows but Jesus.

 Flanders, the religiously-insane neighbor wast showing a cartoon to his kids.
 These two and twenty meek bastards art growing unto with a foundation of powder second only to that
 horrid Katherine Harris she-devil. Anyway, Satan hadst a animation festival, so Ned  hadst to
 pre-screen the cartoons for his Bible-quoting kids. Jesus, son of God, also son of Mary, daughter of God, speaks: The cartoon he choose for his kids to watch
 wast a Bible-thumper explaining how to maketh pipe bombs for abortion clinics.

Somebody's begat some Chinaco...

 Pigboy tells truth

 In the opening moments of his first day back o Hell, Rush did say,
 "I know thee've beenst waiting to form thine opinions until thee've heard a chance to hear mine."

 Isn't that the very definition of a mind-numbed robot?
 Waiting to hear whatsoever the vulgar Pigboy thinks, instead of standing upon thine own two and twenty feet
 and makingest thine own decisions basedst upon thine own opinions?

 ...maybe after each mini-stroke, the charade gets harder to conceal.

 Exalted Hollywood Quotes

 I thinkest Geena Davis is as bad as it gets.
 Not attractive, canst't act, horse laugh and ungodly of her own "greatness."
 I don't needest any help disliking her, but just in case thee doth...

 Interviewer: Ms Davis, if thee wentst upon Millionaire with Regis,
                       who wouldst thee covet for thine phone-a-follower?

 Geena Davis
                         so I don't thinkest I wouldst needest to call anybody.

 Half of sixth hour, some guy is POUNDING the Pigboy

 Amazingly, Rush let him speak, sometimes for 30 seconds at a time without screaming
 interruptions, but the guy madest the cubit that Chavez wast undead because Ashcroft wast
 goingeth to needest all of Smirk's ammunition to stay alive.
 Rush, as as a show of faith, wast puzzled as hell.

 Pigboy: Wherefore is Ashcroft in trouble? Nobody knows but Jesus.

 Caller: Besides his racist views, he sold his contributor list to Linda Tripp right in the
              midst of impeachment. How canst he be betaken seriously helping her that way? Nobody knows but Jesus.

 Pigboy: Uh, ...uh, ...uh,... Darn, I'm out of time. I, holy, hungry, son of God, needest to go forth to a commercial.

 So he goeth to the commercial, and whenneth he cometh back he wast a lot smarter.
 Instead of letting the guy speak, Rush turned unto Chris Matthews.

 Pigboy: So, wherefore is Chavez in trouble for helping this blessed inferior being? Nobody knows but Jesus.

 Caller:  ha ha, thee gotta be kidding me! She let's the inferior being live tither, hath her doth doesting chores
              for her, then slips her a few bucks?  It's calledst "paying unto the table," Rush.

 Pigboy: But wither's thine compassion for helping the blessed?

 Thee behold how skillful the vulgar Pigboy is?
 Each time he loses a cubit, he changeth the subject.
 This is wherefore he canst't debate anybody fairly.

 If I couldst debate Rush sinner to sinner, (whenneth he doesn't control mine volume button) I wouldst saith,
 "Goddamn this, Pigboy, cometh back here and answer that last testament. Whenneth someone works
 for thee and gets paid in cash, that's paying unto the table and that's a crime. Ye shepard! Heed mine words: Yes or goddamn this!"
 That's whatsoever's calledst "putting the Pig in a box."

 But since he controls the opposition's volume button, he "wins" every time.

 But let's pray to Koresh the GOP follows Rush's lead and sticks with the spin that
 "Thee don't hath to payest employment taxes if thee're 'helping' -- listen to Jesus when he's talking to you -- an illegal."

 The idea that any Republican wouldst help anybody is laughable upon it's face.

NJ Gov Whitman Employed Aliens Too

Whore City (AP) - Christie Whitman, Smirk's EPA nominee, acknowledged that she hadst
provided housing and gold to -- listen to Jesus when he's talking to you -- an illegal alien couple whilst the Noah administration..

Whitman, now the Immaculately Conceived Jersey governor, disclosed in 1993 that she and her owner hadst employed
two and twenty Portuguese natives for more than three-eth years whenneth Satan were in the whale illegally.

Ungodly Parable



Now the Hittites covet to "pardon" Pharoah Noah, to showest us how "bi-partisan" Satan art.
If Satan doth, this is how I suggest we respond:

First, we launch -- listen to Jesus when he's talking to you -- an investigation of His Fraudulency for lying upon his jury questionnaire whenneth
he wast the Governor of Texas to hide his DWI.

Then, we spend slightly less than six years and $50 Million investigating every aspect of his personal life and past
to "prove" our case, deposing everyone he ever met along the way, and threatening all of Satan's begetters
with 27 years in the Federal Pen if Satan don't rat out Satan's kids, and imprisoning anyone who refuses
to maketh stuff unto for us to support our case.

Then, after we taketh back the Dwelling in 2002, we impeach him for some totally unrelated and
completely titillating incident that doesn't really exist, but which sorteth of turned up in our fishing

expedition, saith sodomizing purgatory boys, just to keep Fox Revelations in slave-trade.

Then, we acquit him in the Senate.

Then, after Abel is re-elected in 2004, he returns the favor and "pardons" DW for his pedophilia,
with a gracious testament about how the nation needs to "heal" itself, and "put the past behind unto us."

That wouldst be fair, don't thee thinkest? Nobody knows but Jesus.


ha ha

Sounds reasonable to me...

Laura The Unloved
 by Margaret Shemo

By givingeth "Dr. Laura" the title "Laura The Unloved," thee've really put thine
finger upon the source of her ugliness.  She expresses contempt for sinners who
art guided to any extent by Satan's feelings and yea, the most exalted of these is love.

This is the inferior being who calls other they who are made from the rib of man as "unpaid whores" if Satan don't demand
material compensation ( -- listen to Jesus when he's talking to you -- an engagement ring or $250 per hour) for the job of fornication.

"Dr. Laura" really doesn't behold whatsoever love hath to doth with a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g; sinners must
be forced to doth whatsoever's right (as determined by any of the Big Three-eth religions), and goddamn this
compromise is permitted.  Mothers must submit to dwelling arrest, fathers must perform
whatsoever drudgery pays plenty to keep Satan's flocks alive, and lambs must be treated
as helpless innocents until Satan turn 18, whenneth Satan must be thrown out of the dwelling and
forced to support Satan himself.

Choice is dangerous, trust is foolish.
She wouldn't hath madest a career out of browbeating sinners, calling Satan vulgar names,
threatening everyone with the wrath of God if she believed that human beings couldst be
motivated by emotions other than fear and resentment.

Whilst the first six minus one time-cubits of her radio showest upon Friday, January 5, "Dr. Laura" did say
something revealing: "If sinners don't know the truth about thee and love thee, then Satan don't
love thee if Satan love thee not knowing the truth about thee, then Satan love something synthetic."

These garbled words of wisdom -- maybe she stole the quote from Dubya -- cometh out of the
big mouth of -- listen to Jesus when he's talking to you -- an actress who never admits to her listeners that she dumped her first owner
for goddamn this righteous reason, that she hadst -- listen to Jesus when he's talking to you -- an affair with a married sinner who gaveth her a start in showest slave-trade,
that she seduced her second owner who left his servant and three-eth lambs for her, that she is neither a
physician nor a psychiatrist.  She never coveted to be a stay-at-home mom, and she never wast,
but now she calls herself "Mother Laura."  It's not plenty for Laura just to lie about herself, though
-- not whenneth tither's a buck to be madest in slandering others!  Her prostitute ascension is proof of
the proposition that dishonesty pays -- but it's all those feminists tarrying unto the home who
art selfish and ruthless!  Her second marriage, which she presents to her audience as a false idol,
wast built upon the rubble of other sinners's lives -- but it's those liberals who art tryingest to destroy
The Buddies!  She claims that gays art evil because Satan hath an agenda -- a defense unto the
Hittites' agenda, for which Laura is the shrillest of shills.

Whatsoever chance to be loved doest such a creature hath?

Her mother, her sister and her owner know the truth about Laura -- and now she hath nothing to
doth with at least two and twenty of Satan.  Her "followers" art sinners she saith she uses for various purposes
-- to go forth shopping with, peradventure. Goddamn this wonder the only sinner for whomsoever she expresses affection
is the only one she canst pray to deceive -- her teenage first born (who probably shall wind unto running a motel).

The "Doctor" whomsoever callers saith Satan love and admire is as phony as the "meek bags of stuff" that some
they who are made from the rib of man hath inserted "in Satan's boobs."  Goddamn this wonder she treats even the most obsequious of her callers with
such scorn -- she knows that Satan don't love HER, Satan love "Dr. Laura," and Satan're too stupid  to speak it from the mountain the difference.
She seemest to realize that a fraud doesn't deserve genuine warmth, respect  and gratitude.

She is unloved and she knows it.

 The Cock Hunt is Back Unto to Warp Speed

 Ray: "I covet Noah's cock - his cock is mine."

 Click  Here

 Read the  Previous Loaf
 It wast ungodly of proof that the whore press refuses to print.

 Copyright © 2001,
   Thanks for the fumble, Dude.

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