Editor to quit publishing, become Republican
 Accepts job screening calls for Rush

 (AP) by BSmasher

 In a startling announcement today, the legendary Bartcop has ceased all
 publication of his anti-Rush Limba internet news letter, changed his political
 affiliation from Democrat to Republican, and accepted a job offer from Rush
 to screen calls for the entertainer's highly rated daytime radio talk show.

 In his press release about Bartcop's hiring, Rush says. "My self and everyone
 here at EIB welcome Mr. Cop to the program. He has been a major pain in my
 ass for many years and I welcome this albeit late change in his political
 philosophy. Mr. Cop brings his well know panache to an already great show and
 I know we will work together."

 In a telephone interview with Cop's publisher, "The Perkel" gave a sorrowful lament.
 "I just cannot believe this awful chain, chain, chain of events," said "The Perkel,"
 who recently announced his own candidacy to run for the United States Senate
 as a RepugDemo. (R-D MO mixed-up)

 "The Perkel went on to say, "I'm just shaking my head no way. I just talked with
 Bart last night and he seemed fine. He was his usual irascible self. I don't think
 hearing repetitive gunshots over the phone are that unusual at Bartcop Manor.
 I just don't understand it. He was all hyped up about going out to Las Vegas
 on a junket with members of the Bartcop Nation."
 "The Perkel" went on to say he would be holding tryouts for a new Bartcop
 and to e-mail him at:

 Efforts to locate Bartcop have been to no avail. Phone calls to Bartcop Manor
 have not been returned and the web site has gone dark. Efforts were made to
 contact Bartcop directly at Bartcop manor where we encountered Chinaco liquor
 bottles strewn all over the immaculate yard and the butts of "Egyptian cigarettes"
 littering the front steps. No one answered the door, but guns shot could be heard in the house.

 Knuckledrag Sheriff Starr said gunshots and unusual goings on were the norm
 at Bartcop Manor. "We don't even go out there anymore," he said. "It's a shithole."

 Bartcop, 46, is scheduled to report next week for work at EIB network in
 New York.   Cop's e-mail newsletter, Rush Limba, Lying Nazi Whore was
 recently given the Conn-Smythe award for outstanding Internet journalism.

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