This has spoilers to the best TV moment I've seen in two years.
If you saw this Joan of Arcadia, or ...don't plan to, go ahead and give this a look.
If not, turn back now and watch for the "Art Fair" episode of Joan of A in coming TV Guides
This has been rattlin' in my brain for 50 days, that could be good or bad.
First of all, after Amber Tamblyn, God is the star of
Joan of Arcadia.
(If she doesn't win the Emmy next year, the fix is in).
For me to be into some God show - that has to mean something.
Plus, when God, the real God, is on your side, that's better than knowing Steven Segal.
In each episode, God appears to Joan as the mailman or whatever
and he'll say,
"I want you to join the Chess Club," or "Hold a garage sale," or ,"Become a cheerleader,"
because he's God, he knows what'll happen, and he's using Joan to change her community.
He always asks her to so something that seems useless and meaningless,
but it all ties up in a neat bow at the end of the hour.
In this episode:
God told Joan, ...whatever it takes, ...she needs to stop her friend,
[The guy is a loner, withdrawn, etc, but he's Joan's best friend]
from displaying his painting in the high school Art Fair.
God told Joan this was "very important."
When God, personally, tells you it's "very important," you do what God says, right?
But Joan wondered why God would want to be so mean to her best
(Let's call him Jason so I can lessen the keystrokes.)
She became aware of the idea that sometimes the Devil might appear as God,
and she wondered if the "God" she was talking to was the real Clem Cloudy.
This isn't Will and Grace doing goofball comedy.
This isn't Ross wondering where Marcelle the Chimp hid the TV remote.
This episode had television's most dramatic scene since Tony had to strangle and behead Ralphie.
Now, that's almost two years old - and this was the best scene I've seen since that 2002 Sunday night.
God - the real God - not some fake God - told her, whatever
it takes, to stop her friend, her very best friend
from entering his painting into the Art Fair, ...and God told Joan to "Make it so."
She told God she tried everything she could think of, he told her "Use your imagination, but get it done."
...Joan failed to do that.
Joan offered to buy her friend's painting, and he agreed - but
only after the Fair.
Joan tried her best (remember that) again and again, but she failed and Jason entered the Art Fair.
Turns out, someone offered him $500 for one of his paintings.
Jason was pleased, but Joan, enraged and confused, wondered why God misled her.
If her best friend was a talented artist, why would God want her to screw her friend this way?
God shows up, I forget which form He took, but Joan lit into Him
"Are you the Devil?" Why did you want me to stab my best friend?"
Winning a debate with God is harder than beating Ol' Bart.
God replied: "Jason
sold that painting for $500.
That's the most money he'll ever make from any painting.
He just quit school, his life has just begun a downward spiral.
He's just lost everything, and it's all your fault
because you failed to follow my instructions."
You can't argue or outwit God
If God says it's so, it's so, and even Johhny Cochran can't change that.
So - to recap - God told Joan to stop her friend from getting
any wild ideas about being an artist.
She failed, and now it was on her to fix the situation.
Good thing this isn't on BC Radio, because I wouldn't make it.
OK, so here's the position Joan is in.
God, (not a fake) just told Joan that she just ruined her best friend's life. She ruined it because she failed
to take action, and she failed to get it right when it counted, so Joan got glassy-eyed and went to work.
She went to Jason's house and went to his art room and picked
up what I remember to be a metal folding chair and,
...to save him ...because God's not lying, she swung that chair 100 times, breaking into very tiny pieces, every bit of
art he had produced over the years and stored in his studio.
For some unknown reason, and I don't know the Bible, it reminded
me of the story where Jesus picked up a chair
or something and violently destroyed the vendor tables that the local GOP was using to sell their hate products
inside a precious House of Worship.
Republicans, always profit over honor.
Joan stood there, for the longest time, smashing and thrashing
her best friend's most prized possessions,
knowing she was saving him from a lifetime of disaster. It's for real, because God's not lying.
That's a constant.
Yet sheknew she wouldn't be able to explain how she knew that to Jason.
She couldn't explain anything.
Then, just as the violence comes to an end, when every fist-sized
piece has been shattered into bite-sized,
Joan composes herself and turns around and there is innocent Jason, staring at her from in the doorway
with a look on his face more blank than Smirk trying to deliver the State of the Union.
The look on his face was "How f-ing c o u l d you?" and all Joan could do was look at him and cry.
Joan knew that she'd just destroyed his life's dream..
To save him, she had to destroy him, kinda like what Bush did to Iraq.
But by "betraying him," she saved his future and his family.
Screwing him at that moment saved his ass, but she couldn't
Joan stared back at him, knowing that he thought she sold him out, closed the show.
End of show.
Five weeks later, he's still not talking to her
on the show.
Isn't that odd for a TV high school feud to last for five-and-counting weeks?
Seriously, that thrashing and the scene afterwards was TV's best moment since Tony fought Ralphie.
That's high f-ing praise.
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