John Kerry's Resume
    sent in by Daren Phillips

NAME: John Kerry

RESIDENCE: 7 mansions, including Washington, DC, worth multimillions.

Why do Republicans hate success so much?

Law Enforcement. I voted to cut every law enforcement, CIA and defense bill in my career as a US Senator.

That can't possibly be true.
You have to lie because the truth won't serve your purpose.
If you can prove that's true - I swear to Koresh - I won't vote for Kerry, .

I ordered Boston to remove a fire hydrant which I considered unsightly, in front of my mansion,
thereby endangering my neighbors in the event of fire.

Show me proof.
That sounds like a crazy-ass lie from the vulgar Pigboy.
I'll bet $100 that's not true.
You a gambling man, Sparky?

I used three minor injuries to get an early discharge from the military and service in Vietnam (as documented by the attending doctor).

ha ha
That's not true. That charge was made by a man who didn't treat Kerry.
You're saying the shrapnel in Kerry's body is lying?
Meanwhile, Bush was injured while drunk in Mexico when a lime touched a cold sore he got from a hooker.

I then returned to the US, joined Jane Fonda in protesting the war,

...along with the House and the Senate and over a hundred million Americans - it's called "the majority."
If you loved that war so much, why didn't Bush volunteer for it like Kerry did?
Was is more patriotic for Bush to desert his stateside post to do cocaine and screw hookers?

...and insulted returning Vietnam vets, claiming they committed atrocities and were baby killers.

You just said, "No atrocities were committed by American troops in Vietnam."
Even the craziest chickenhawk won't back you up on that.

I threw my medals, ribbons, or something away in protest.  Or did I?

If you can't make up your mind about which lie to go with, shutthefuckup.

My book; Vietnam Veterans Against the War!: The New Soldier
shows how I truly feel about the military. I deplore the military!

I'll bet his book does NOT say that, and I haven't read it.
I'll bet $100 that's not true.
You a gambling man, Sparky?
Or are you not man enough to bet on your silly-ass lies?

I graduated from Yale University with a low C average.

Prove it - I don't believe you.  So far, you've been nothing but horseshit
You got this handjob list from the same loser who claims that Hillary snubbed the Gold Star Mothers.
Why can't you stick to within a light year of the truth?
Could it be because the truth is your Monkey has no brain?

Unlike my counterpart George Bush, I have no higher education and did not get admitted to Harvard nor graduate with an M.B.A

ha ha
Stop it!
What's easier to achieve - a diploma or residence in the White House?
If Bush can get to the White House without being elected, a diploma is easy for daddy to get.

I ran for U.S. Congress and have been there ever since.

Sounds like a winner's resume.
The people of MA like Kerry and wanted him to represent them year after year.

I have no real world experience except that of a gigolo, by marrying rich women
and running HJ Heinz vicariously through my wife Teresa.

Too stupid to answer..
Even Teresa doesn't run Heinz, but again, why do you hate success so much?
If Heinz was a tiny company, like Arbust Oil, you'd say Kerry married a loser.

...and why can you get off Kerry's cock?
What is it with the GOP's fixation on Democratic cock?
Do you have a poster of Kerry's cock on your bedroom wall at home?

As a US Senator I set the record for the most liberal voting record, exceeding even Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton.

That's not true, not by a country f-ing mile. You can't prove it because it's false. If you can't list even one
derogatory item about Kerry's 30+ years of public service, his record must be exemplary, indeed.
Don't you wish the aborting, AWOL deserter had a resume as good as Kerry's?

I have consistently failed to support our military and CIA by voting against budgets, thus gutting our country's ability to defend itself.

You already tried that lie and I challenged it.
Did you forget where you were in your slutty litany of lies?

Although I voted for the Iraq War, now I am against it and refuse to admit that I voted for it.

Wrong on two out of three.
When Bush told the Senate that Saddam was about to launch, Kerry believed the AWOL liar.
Just last week, Kerry said he still would've voted for war.
Everyone - Bush, Kerry, me - admits Kerry voted for the war.

Your lies are getting clumsier with each paragraph.

I voted for every liberal piece of legislation.

How stupid can you get?
Even Barney Frank hasn't voted for "every" liberal piece of legislation.
Trust me, the path to credibility is not lying 100 percent of the time.

I have no plan to help this country but I intend to raise taxes significantly if I am elected.

ha ha
Why are YOU pushing for another tax cut for the Clintons, Martin Sheen and Barbara Streisand?
Do you enjoy subsidising their super-rich lifestyle?
Wouldn't you rather keep some of that money for yourself?
You're not like ...stupid, are you?

My wealth so far exceeds that of my counterpart, George Bush,

That might've been true before the Bush Family's latest profitfest in the Middle East, where almost 1,000 soldiers have died.

...that he will never catch up.

Asked and answered.

I make no or little charitable contributions and have never agreed to pay any voluntary excess taxes in MA,
despite family wealth in excess of $700 million.

Voluntary excess taxes?
I think Democrats call that "charity," and your side has criticized Teresa for giving to charities.

By the way, can I interest you in a nice, refreshing banana?

I (we) own 28 manufacturing plants (Heinz) outside of the U.S. in places like Asia, Mexico and Europe.

Prove that.
It might be true, it might not be true, but you've told so many lies, I'll asume this is a lie, too.
You're making extra-wild claims like your last name is Weinerboy.

    "I love having sex with wax."

We can make more profit from the cheaper cost of labor in those Countries,
although I blame George Bush for sending all of the jobs out of Country.

That's on a resume?

Although I claim to be in favor of alternative energy sources, Ted Kennedy and I
oppose windmills off Nantucket and Martha's Vineyard as it might spoil our view
of the ocean as we cruise on our yachts.

So, you dislike rich people who sail their fancy boats off the East Coast?
Remember why Bush the Smarter lost a second term?
Because he kept saying, "There is no recession!" from his cigarette boat off Kennebunkport.

Americans hate liars, so they fired his terrorist-enabling ass.
They hate cowards and traitors, too, so it's goodbye Smirk!

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