If you don't know him, he's the head of "Decent Christians Inc,"
or some crap like that. His claim to fame is he sues Clinton every week.
Right now, he has about 30 lawsuits against Clinton.
Each week, he files a lawsuit under the Freedom of Information Act
about any goddamn, stupid-ass claim he can think of, and he forces
White House staffers to go thru endless depositions.
Well, West Wing raked him some tonight, but not anything like
I would've done if I was a writer on that show.
In tonight's episode, the Klayman character kept asking questions like,
"What did you say to your friend when you told him you had a subpoena
from me and you had to give me a deposition later today?"
You know how you answer a question like that?
You know how?
Read and take notes.
"I told my friend that some punk-ass, chicken-shit, lame-dick Republican
who can't get an erection without thinking about Bill Clinton's cock,
sent me a subpoena to ANOTHER useless, bullshit, hope-to-find-something
fishing exibition because Richard Mellon Scarfe is paying him loads of money
to act the goddamn fool, and he fucking does, because his life is shit and he
torments the innocent to keep his mind off his impotence problem, and I
told my friend that I was afraid I might lose my temper and demand
Monica from the little cock-sucker if he pisses me off in the least, little way."
That's how you answer an open-ended, blank-check question from a prick.
Swear to Koresh, that's a 100 percent legal answer,
and if anybody wants to challenge me on that, let's dance.
When some ugly mook asks, "What did you say to your friend about me?"
you've got a canvas bigger than Governor Blow Monkey's election problems,
and just let a judge try to tell me my answer was, "unresponsive."
Hey, if Klayboy can't ask an intelligent fucking question,
I'm not doing to take this sham seriously.
Numbnuts wants to know what I said to my friends?
Your Honor, bartcop.com is Exhibit "A."
That's how I speak when I'm being honest, Your Honor!
So, anyway, I got mad about Klayboy and I did something I'll regret.
I broke a Maryland law.
You see, I sent a package to him by UPS.
There were two items inside the package he opened.
The first thing he found was a list of allllll the ways to sue Bill Clinton
that he hadn't thought of yet. I loaded it on really thick.
I made up 30 or 40 stupid, nutty, no-doubt Supreme Court-approved
different ways for any unbalanced citizen-without-a-dick to bother, harrass,
annoy, and attempt-to-destroy all presidents from now till doomsday.
the second item wasn't discovered until 30 seconds later.
It was a microphone.
I was sitting outside with my Radio Shack receiver.
The quality isn't that good, but you'll get the gist, so to speak.
What you're going to hear is the reaction of Larry Klayman, the
numbnut Republican and his Clinton-hating common-law wife Lureleen
reading my bullshit list of 40 new counts over which to sue Bill Clinton.
Here we go, with the ILLEGAL tape I made of Larry Klayman.
Oh, and by the way, Mr. Numbnut Klayman...
if you want to have some FUN suing somebody, sue me.
I've been trying to get sued by you nut-jobs every day for 8 years.
I can't find a Republican anywhere that will challenge me.
Mr. Klayman, if you sue me, it won't be like suing the White House.
I don't HAVE to play nice.
If you like taking depositions, take mine, Courage Boy.
Let's me and you go a few rounds, you pussy.
I'm going to play this illegal recording of Larry and his "wife,"
checking out the phoney "sue Clinton list," and Larry,
if you don't like what you hear, sue me.
This is the opposite of a disclaimer.
This is true, real and accurate.
Larry Klayman has no balls.
If I'm lying, that numbnutted bastard would sue me - but he CAN'T
because he knows every goddamn word on this page is gospel.
You can't sue for liable or slander if it''s the truth!
If any of you know how to reach Pussy Klayman,
tell him I have direct knowledge of major felonies by Bill and Hillary,
and it would be "well worth his while" to get my deposition.
Here we go:
Larry Klayman and his common-law wife reading my fake list
of alllllllllllllll the different ways to sue Bill Clinton.
Sue me, you yellow prick.