Remember, this is over 600 issues ago.
It was only read by a few dozen people - when there were fewer rules.
It was my blue period.

It's Time to be Mean to Dr. Laura

The stupid, greedy whore went too far, and I have it on tape.
This has to be THE quote of the year.
If anybody has a better quote than this one, I'll buy you a car.

The greedy, stupid whore was on "The O'Reilly Factor" last night.
Did you see her?

Doesn't matter, I taped the whole thing and grabbed this killer quote.
It doesn't get any better than this - trust me.

Recently I mentioned that only a tiny minority of you listen to the sound files,
but then someone pointed out that Web TV doesn't get sound,
and maybe some of you can't afford speakers yet, so I understand.

But having an internet connection without speakers is almost as nutty as having
a television without speakers, but let's get to THE QUOTE OF THE YEAR!!!

This quote is so goddamn stupid.

If there was a God, if there was any justice in the world, this quote would
be on the front page of every newspaper and every magazine in the country,
but it's got nothing to do with Clinton's cock,  so it's not newsworthy.

Well, we can still snicker, can't we?

You ready for this?

Tell you what, just to get started, just to get you in the mood,
why don't we have Dr. Laura explain what her radio show is about?

BartCop: Dr. Laura, if people tune into your perverted hate show,
                 what kinds of things will you likely be talking about?

Click  Here  to hear Laura's answer.

(To the speaker-impaired, Dr. Laura just explained, in her own words,
 that on her show, she talks about things like "butt plugs, vibrators and dildos.")

Hold on, it gets waaaaaay better than that.
That was just a warm up.


That prick O'Reilly began by asking Dr. Laura what kind of student she was in college.
She said she was shunned because she was too straight for the wild UCLA crowd.

So O'Reilly said, "Then how'd those pictures happen?"

Click  Here  to hear her lying-ass answer

Here's what she said, for the speaker impaired.

"I had a boyfriend (She had a husband at the time, too)
 and we took some pictures and I don't know what to say
 about other pictures, because I have NO MEMORY OF
 curious, too, as to where they came from."

ha ha

Can you believe that?
Can you believe that?

Have you ever heard a more clumsy lie in your entire life?

Lying slut!
Lying slut whore!

You spread you legs for a camera, and now you claim the old, "No memory" defense?

You're lying, Laura!

You spread your legs thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis far apart for a camera, and now you don't remember?

You're lying, Laura!
Laura Schlessinger is a lying liar.

What happened to taking personal responsibility?
What happened to honesty and modesty?

Stop and think for a second:

If Clinton had said,
"That may be my semen on Monica's dress,
   but I have no memory of how it got there,"
I would've voted to impeach his lying ass my own goddamn self.

Stupid, lying Dr Laura wants us to buy her clumsy lie that she has no memory???
You know, those brain-dead ditto-monkeys will buy ANY goddamn thing, but they don't really
buy this "I don't remember spreading my legs for that man,
whoever he was, back when I was married?" do they?

"Your honor, that may have been the Bank of America's money hidden in my bedroon,
  but I have no memory of robbing any banks, no Sir!"

"Officer, that bag of dope might have my fingerprints on it, but I can assure you,
 I have no memory of buying any marijuana at all."

"Honey, I admit that photo looks like me getting oral sex from that bachelor party hooker,
 but I can assure you I have no memory of doing anything like that."

Nobody gets away with lies that stupid - do they?

This is the woman who wrote a book on the Ten Commandments?
Let us turn to that Good Book, to see how God handles lying slut-whores.

"What is the fate of liars?
 The whoremongers and liars, shall have their lake burneth with fire and brimstone:
 which is the second death" (Rev. 21:78).    One who practices lying is committing a
 serious offence in the sight of God. It is among the abominations that God hates.

These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:
A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, An heart that
deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,
A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren (Prov. 6:1619).

Those who refuse to give up the practice of lying will face certain punishment.
"A false witness shall not be unpunished, and she that speaketh lies shall perish" (Prov. 19:9).

Dr. Laura, I rebuke thee!

Thou art a lying, slut-whore.
God will not let a lying, slut-whore into His Kingdom.

I think it's pretty clear that Laura the Liar won't get into Heaven, but Ol' Bart still has a shot!

...and this bitch thinks she's going to lecture me on morality?
Who does she think she is, Bill Bennett's crack dealer?

But, as always, it gets worse for the lying, slut-whore.
Just seconds ago, you heard her say in her own voice that she didn't remember posing
like some two-bit lap-dancer on Howard Stern's show, but in this next clip, she's so proud
of her "lovely" naked ass, ...

Take it away, rebuked, slut-whore.

Here's what she said:

"Coming out of the shower, standing there, brushing my hair,
 is almost a Botticelli, except I was much thinner Since I took
 this 'lovely' picture 25 years ago, that I'm somehow a bad
 person and a hypocrite."

Nobody called you a bad person or a hypocrite for taking a picture 30 years ago..
I'm calling you a lying slut-whore for lying about it 30 years later..

After all, words mean things.

OK, let's compare Dr. Laura's picture, like she suggested, to Botticelli's pictures.

I'm going to show you the photo she just mentioned, and then we'll look at one of Botticielli's works.
Did you hear her brag about how thin she was when she posed for this picture?
She bragged she was thinner than a Botticelli.

Is that a fair comparison?
Let's look at them side-by-side.

 Cheap tacky slut...............................Madonna of the Pomegranate

Darn it, now I can't remember which is which.
I think that's Dr. Laura's picture on the right, ...but ....I can't be sure.
No, that might be Dr. Laura on the left...

I can't tell, because they look so much alike!!!

Hey, Doc!

It looks like all those women have their damn pants on!!!
What kind of ego problems do you have that you'd compare your naked ass
to three clothed women of the Bible who had good morals and decent values?

"Standing there, brushing my hair, is almost
 like a Botticelli, except I was much thinner?"

Good God, woman.
How does your nasty-ass ego fit in the tiny state of California?

Why don't you put some panties on and then brag about your superior morals?

You give people advice on morals and honesty?
And then you stand there and lie about not remembering being a pervert?
Religious whores make me sick.

Last clip, this is Laura whining about her unfair treatment by the press.

Click  Here  to her hear bitch and moan

What she said: Besides the self-confidence at the maturity, I'm the exact
                          same person I was when I was two years old.

So, you're saying you haven't changed since you took these pictures?
Have you no shame, Laura?

By the way, Little Miss Dignity, Miss Manners, Miss Always Proper,
Miss Better-Than-Everyone Else who can't remember posing for a man NOT her husband,
who did you vote for?

            Produced by BartCop, K. Cunningham and Laura Schlessinger.

There are no naked pictures of Ol/ BartCop on the internet or anywhere else,
so I hereby claim the high moral ground from the pantsless tramp.

To see the full gallery of Laura's hypocrisy,  Click  Here
and remember to expect to be shocked.

If you think it's a bad thing to expose ultra-rich, religio-frauds, let me hear your reasons.

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