Monkey Mail One


>The ditto-monkey letters you publish are funny,
>but you should print more intellectual letters from the Right.
>It leaves the impression that ONLY braindead ditts attack you.



Mail Bag

From: Edward A. H.

Subject: Why are you so angry?

>I have spent the night surfing the Internet.
>I've never seen someone as impassioned and angry as you are.

 (Can I call you Ed?)

 It's funny that you see anger when you read LNW.
 On my end, I'm giggling like it's my first beer.
 What I do, listen to Rush, then write down the stupidest and most race-baiting things he says. Then I mix that with jokes or ironic tidbits and build a newsletter.

 Why would I be angry?

 I'm a Clinton fan, and America LOVES their president.
 I mix the truth with half-truths and outright lies in an
 entertaining way, just like Rush does, every day.

>Who pulled your chain anyway?  I can understand what you don't
>like about TV evangelists (they make me crazy, too) but you are
>willing to dismiss the Bible and God because of them?

Ed, if you believe strongly in God, good for you.
As long as you don't want to pass laws that God "told" you to pass,
then you won't get any trouble from me.

You do realize, tho, that odds are 90 percent that you have the same "true" religion that
your parents have. So, if you were born in China, Budda would be the "true" God,
and those wackos in America just don't know any better, the heathens.
If you were born in Iran, Khomeini would be the "true" God, and America would be your Satan.
If you were born in Africa, you'd have a bone in your nose and you'd worship the sun, or whatever.
See my point?

How can you believe in a religion that's georgraphy-based?
That means Georgia has a different "true" religion than Alabama.
So, they gotta fight to the death, right?
If religion is geography, what happens when you move?

On the other hand,

if you were non-religious until you were, say, 20 years old, and you researched all the
popular religions, and studied them until you could whittle them down to five religions or
two religions, and THEN chose the "true" religion, I might say you're on to something.

 But that's not the case, is it, Ed?

This isn't meant as an attack. I'm just trying to point out the folly of living your life based on a
religion that's determined by the geographic role of the dice.

>There are some things that you hate about conservatives that are probably worth being mad about. >I agree that a lot of conservative quotes you print have made me cringe.

Ed, America is cringing with you.
The GOFP won't can't admit that that's the biggest reason Clinton got off.
We can't let these maniacs have any more power than they have now.

>But the moral law that conservatives wish to have enacted is good,
>regardless of how foolish the people may be who promote it.

Conservative wishes should be the law?
(That spinning sound you hear is Thomas Jefferson's body.)
 What if you believe in Religion "A,"  and your kid's school teaches Religion "B?"

 Wouldn't you rather choose your kid's religion?
 Why do you want big government running the religious training for your kids?
 I thought you conservatives wanted less government...

>Let's look at it another way---we will be ruled by some sort of law.
>That is just the nature of mankind.  So whose law shall it be?

>How about the law of the Aztecs?  Good, I suppose, unless you're
>one of the 25,000 humans that will be sacrificed this year.

 Now you're on MY side?
 Religious insanity killed those people.
 Don't put that on me.
 I'm against religious insanity of every kind.

>Well, how about the laws of the land of India?
>Or how about no law at all?
>Just let everyone do what they want. To be consistant, we must allow every pedophile,
>necrophile, cannabal, etc. the freedom to do what they like.

Now you're scaring me.

>Well, how about the laws of the God of the Bible?
>You know, the ones that say that I am to not murder my neighbor,
>not steal from him, not screw his wife, etc.

The hypocrisy in your position is not your fault, personally.
Zealots claim "Don't Kill and Don't Steal" are examples of how
basic and logical the ten commandments are.

Don't forget:
Commandment One is "Worship me or Die like a Davidian!"

That's got nothing to do with not-killing and not-stealing.
It's partisan, Worship-my-God-my Way and don't-think about religio-voodoo. 

 I choose NOT to worship an invisible ghost/diety.
 I'm using the brain God gave me to decide He doesn't exist.
 As an American, I have that right, and if you try to take my religious freedom from me,
you're starting a fight you're going to lose like you're from Buffalo.

>So----what did God ever do to you to get you so mad?

 I was born Catholic, ha ha

>Want to talk about it with an ex-atheist and ex-liberal?
 (a reformed 60's hippie)?

 How did that happen?
 God paid you a visit?
 Did God kick your ass?

>Just for the fun of it,  I'm going to bookmark your site.

 We had a little fun, didn't we?
 I hope my reply hasn't entrenched my position as an angry man.
 I'm just surfing, while daring challengers to show me where I'm wrong.
>One last thought---

Unlike Rush,
I've never claimed to be God or encouraged anyone to worship me.
Rush constantly pushes praise-calls to the top of the list,
wheras I won't print a positive letter.

You gotta know I get three praise-mails for every letter from a ditto-monkey,
but I won't run into the spotlight screaming, "Me! Me! Me! Me! Me!" like some people..
Only a power-crazed, Egoboy needs worship and praise.  Or worse - the need to be praised,
then turn around and broadcast that praise  to 20,000,000 gullible ditto-monkeys every week.
>Have a good one

 Ed, swear to Koresh,
 I have a good one,
 a  very good one.


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