Sure, this could be a fake, but what if it's not?

 It's the top half of a service record for Smirk.
 (bottom half to follow)

 Look what's blacked out:


 Why would anyone want to keep Smirk's marital status a secret?
 Why would the number of his dependents be blacked out?

 I mean, Smirk's wedding date is in the public record,
 so what's to gain by blacking out that information?

 ...unless maybe he'd been married before Pickles?

 And why is the number of his dependents a secret?
 I mean, he has twin daughters and that's all,


 What is there to hide?


 Now we're getting into some weirdness.
 If Smirk had a first wife,
 or some bastards,
 that would be bad, and goddamn funny but probably not fatal.

 But why would the Bush who showed up in Alabama
 want to hide his height and weight from any prying eyes?

 One possible answer:

 A man taller or shorter than Smirk reported for duty.

 Would anyone in the Alabama National Guard know what the
 nobody-congressman's son from Texas looked like?
 It wouldn't be the first time a rich boy had someone take a test for him...

 So - we have a few mysteries.

 1. Why hide his marital status?
 2. Why hide his number of dependents?
 3. Why hide his birthday, and height and weight?

 On to Part II

 It says, "Reason for discharge - transferred to Colorado"

 Have we heard a peep about Colorado?

 It also says, "Out of a 6-year obligation, Smirk completed 5 years, 4 months."

 Looks like Smirk needs to produce some Colorado service papers
 or give this country another eight months of obligation.


 ha ha

"Not available for signature?"

 Smirk never signed his transfer papers?
 Was that because we deserted?

 Do you get the feeling Smirk doesn't want us looking at these papers?
 Who did the blacking out?
 Why would the Alabama ANG black that info out?
 Why block out those particular boxes?
 Marital status can't be revealed?
 Number of dependents can't be revealed?
 Why release it at all,
 ...if they're going to black out those parts?

 Whose files are we looking at?

 Maybe it's time George W Bush told us his unspoken truth...


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