Las Vegas/Area 51 April 19 1999,
A couple of issues back, I mentioned a great
place to play with your boat.
It's the river/lake just south of Hoover Dam, southeast of Las Vegas.
Here's what it looks like from the highway:
We snaked our way down to the water and
rented speed boat that was so bad, they called it Everrude.
We got it damn cheap, too. We spent about 4-5 hours on the lake for about $100.
Here's what it looked like from the Admiral's chair.
Ohhhh..., it's a nice place to enjoy
a refreshing shot o' Chinaco Anejo.
But one can only sit still for so long..
We had to crank that puppy up and see what she could do.
Once we got a few miles down the river, we stopped for another sip.
Ohhh..., I could get used to this...
As we headed back to shore, we could barely find
the boat dock.
We just followed the palm trees.
After the boat ride, we went back to the "fabulous" Mandalay Bay Resort Hotel and Casino.
This was the view from that horrible "executive
suite" at the Mandalay Bay.
Great view, but the $30 Tam O' Shanter had more charm.
While I was writing this page, I got up to refill
my shotglass, while the tape ran.
When I came back I saw something that surprised me:
The night after we took these pictures, we went to Area 51.
We've been to Area 51 three times.
The first time was in 1998 and it was goddamn spectacular.
We saw lights attached to dozens of aircraft that were doing things that no aircraft can do.
(Remember, this is all Swear to Koresh.)
We watched them for hours.
This is not that time.
The second time, in early 1999, promised
to be just as as spectacular, but 20 minutes before
we got to the Area 51 turnoff, the damn moon rose over the mountains and lit the whole valley up.
and the contrast was lost so we couldn't see a thing.
Always go to Area 51 when there's a New Moon, meaning no moon at all.
Later that year we went back, that's when these pictures were taken.
It was our third trip to the area, which is 100-plus miles into the Nevada desert.
You take I-15 North just a little, then
make a left at Nevada Highway 93.
You start the loooong drive into the desert.
Trick: There are no cops.
We were in some nice rented touring sedan, so I just put the cruise on 100 and we took that desert.
Disclaimer: Do NOT drive 100 MPH
while operating a camcorder.
This is almost always a very bad idea.
I'm a professional with years and years of experience.
Yes, it's wrong to cruise and film at 100 MPH, but it was there, so I took it.
Besides, we were sure to be arrested by the Navy Seals in the white Cherokees...
Note: There were only 5000 miles
on this new touring sedan and we had a full tank of gasoline.
Don't try this in a dinky car with problems.
So you go and go north on Highway 93.
It takes forever.
You see that town, Ash Springs?
They have a brand new Texaco there.
Good place to use the rest rooms or buy some limes.
Then, just 4-5 miles north of the Texaco,
you see the sign for Nevada Highway 375.
You turn left on Highway 375 towards Rachel.
The nutjob Nevada Tourism Bureau put up a "E.T. Highway" sign.
(That's not me, I got that pic from an Area 51 website.)
If you've ever seen the X-Files, you know
that Agent Mulder and The Lone Gunmen
(Koresh rest their souls) get to Rachel and the Little Ale-I-Inn at least once a season.
The world famous Area 51 bar 7 grill - The Ale-e-Inn
If you ever want to see the Air Force toys of the future, stay at their motel.
Stay with me, this gets spooky.
By now, it was getting darker.
You always want to get there when there's still some light.
The road to Area 51 is hard to find. They don't want you to go there.
Finding that road in the dark is damn hard, so you drive as the sun is setting.
If you haven't located the dirt road before dark you're in trouble.
Getting darker and darker - that's what you want.
I wish I had taped the turn off.
Here's THE dirt road to Area 51.
Get used to this. You see lots of nothing for
a loooong time.
Tick, tock, tick, tock...
It's only about 20 miles of dirt road, but you
can't see shit, so you don't want to
go any faster than 30-40 MPH cause Koresh knows what might run onto the road.
This'd be a bad place to hit a deer or a cow or whatever lives out here.
Oh, one thing that lives out here is rams or mountain goats or whatever they're called.
Here's a shot of one we saw when the sun was out.
Look at the horns on that dude...
So, we keep driving and driving...
I don't mind saying it's a little spooky out there.
You're waaaay into the desert.
Sure, that Texaco is just 60 miles back or so, but that's a long 60 miles.
Finally, we get to the warning signs, which is
as close to Area 51 as you can get
without meeting the Navy Seals in the White Cherokees.
No doubt, they were tracking us with heat sensors and ground-shaking sensors
and were watching us with their night-vision goggles.
If you play by the rules, they don't mess with
you - or so we were told.
More on that in a minute.
The Navy Seals dudes are always without a sense
They say if you go past the warning signs, they pull you over, throw you to the ground,
but their boots on your neck and scream at you until you pee your pants.
Then they take you to wherever it is they take you and arrest you and, some say,
they rough you up a little. Nothing serious, no marks or bruises, just some rough handling.
So we parked near the warning signs.
When it's not pitch blackness in the desert, the sign looks like this.
We decided not to break any rules.
(Reminder: Lower your expectations.)
First thing I want to show you is a few stars in the sky.
No, your tumor hasn't kicked in.
You can hardly see anything, but those are bright stars.
Camcorders, even good ones, can't touch the human
We could see every damn star in the sky, but videotape only does so much.
So, we're sitting there, waiting for something
It's dark as hell.
It's so dark, you actually can't see your hand
in front of your face.
After a while in the dark you can almost see something besides stars - almost
Then out in the desert towards Area 51, above us, a light just turned on.
This is what it looked like with the 72x zoom.
It just appeared there - suddenly.
It didn't come from anywhere, it just turned on.
I zoomed out, trying to get a better focus.
It was pulsing, which you can't see with still
photos, but I'm going to A-B
some shots and try to give you an idea what it was doing.
These are two shots of the object from the camcorder,
taken less than a second apart.
Cam you make out the pulsing effect?
Here's another pair:
Isn't that weird?
Again, these video captures are a half-second
apart, as fast as my finger can click.
It's hard to say how close it was, because in the pitch black, you can't judge distance very well.
It's also hard to say at what elevation this was happening.
It just hung there in the sky and pulsed,
brighter than hell.
It's maybe 100 times brighter than those stars you saw, right?
It was like someone just threw a switch - BOOM! - it was on and pulsing.
It just hung there and pulsed.
It's possible it was spinning, but I don't want to make it any more spooky than it was.
Don't write and tell me it was a plane.
Besides glowing, or pulsing, it didn't move.
It hung there for maybe 10 minutes - I don't know.
The story is pretty much over - except I
have a video.
The last video I posted (the much-hated Bono religious explosion) did not produce
any e-mails saying "I saw it and it worked fine." One or two people said they couldn't
get it to work, but I don't know Smirk about firewalls or whatever.
If your computer is a year or two old, this should work.
If you can see anything, let me know, would you?
In this video you're about to see, Koresh
willing, this pulsing thing in the sky
seems to be turning very slowly. I don't know if it was spinning or turning or what,
but the light flickers and goes away for a few seconds, then it's like a lighthouse beam of light
that slowly turns from the right towards the camera, all the time pulsing like crazy.
It's like it was pointed away, then slowly
turned to face our direction.
And before you tell me "It's looks like headlights," remember - it was in the air, acting odd.
Click Here to see the odd thing in the sky at Area 51.
(This is a massive,
22 meg mpg. If you don't have cable, DSL or a T-1, don't even bother.
But if you have access to a high-speed connection, let me know if you saw the "thing."
With a DSL, it takes about 5 minutes to download.)
Reminder: This is nothing like the
dozens of lights we saw dancing on our first trip.
Our first trip, we saw them take off from Area 51, one after another, in rapid succession.
Normal jets don't take off 3-5 seconds apart. They were almost like Roman candals
the way they shot off the ground and into the air to play tag with each other.
What you're seeing here is an odd-acting
light in a spooky part of the world.
What we saw in 1998 was the toys from the future.
In closing (I told you to lower your expectations...) there's one other thing to tell.
After the light went out, we sat in the
darkness for a while waiting for something else to appear.
Eventually, we saw a vehicle on the ground approaching us on the dirt road from Area 51.
We didn't want to meet anyone, obviously, so we started driving back to the highway.
The Cherokee was maybe 20 miles away, but approaching very fast, so we boogied.
We went alllllll the way back to the highway.
I'm going to draw a map and see if it makes any sense.
We were on the road marked "dirt road."
There's a Y involved in there, somehow, and we went back to Highway 375, took a right,
and drove a few miles and took the next right, and parked facing the road where the black blob is.
Somehow, the Navy Seals knew what we'd done, and they decided to fuck with us.
Sidebar: This is lifetime-amazing, ...what
Mrs. BartCop and I remember this incident very differently.
I'm not claiming any UFO "missing time" episode here, but we were the only two there
and neither of us were lying but we remember what happened next verrrry differently.
I'll guess we were 100 yards from Highway 375,
I drove down the second dirt road far enough and then turned around so we could see them
drive past us and then we'd be free, but nooooooooooo.
The way I remember it, those jagoff Navy Seals
came tearing around that corner straight at us.
I remember writing this, it's in the archives somewhere, because these fucks in the jeep
floored it and, in the blackest night possible, drove right at us at high speed.
My best guess was they were driving 40-50 MPH,
and we were basically playing a game
of chicken against our will. They were bearing down on us and I remember thinking
"Only Superman could save us now."
But at the last minute, they swerved away and
we were spared.
That's my memory.
What Lorena remembers is the jeep pulling
up to us, nose-to-nose.
We both remember the blinding jeep headlights, which makes sense because any light,
when you're in pitch-blackness, is going to seem as bright as the sun.
I think the difference was my eyes were open.
Isn't that interesting?
I remember the game of chicken, so from my point
of view she's just wrong,
but she has no motive to fabricate a memory of this moment of panic.
I think that's interesting as hell, and I've never
Since then, when I hear two witnesses describe an event differently,
I always remind myself that BOTH witnesses could be telling the truth.
At this point, when our hearts stopped racing
enough to drive, we decided we'd
rather be safely back at The Mirage, drinking luxury tequila instead of engaging in
a scary psycological battle with some trained Navy Seals in the dark desert.
Anyway, the story is over, and it wasn't that
But I didn't tell a single lie this entire page and that's rare.
We saw what we saw.
If you say it didn't happen - fine.
If you say the mystery light was an airplane or my imagination - fine.
But my imagination shows up pretty good on videotape,
and airplanes don't hover over the desert for no goddamn reason.
If you have a comment, I'd like to read it.