The Pink Taco

We decided to try the Pink Taco at the Hard Rock Cafe Hotel and Casino.

In case you didn't know:
In Vegas, the whole point is to get you to gamble.
That means everything they have, every attraction, every shop, every restaurant
every bar, every concert venue is located just behind the slot machines.

We walked thru the casino and everywhere we saw signs that Guns n Roses
would be playing the 29th and New Years Eve, which isn't right because it's
actually Axl and Some Dudes, not Guns n Roses.
Shame on you, Axl.

This Just In...

Slash Barred From Guns N' Roses Show

Guns N' Roses made a rare concert appearance
but former member Slash wasn't allowed to see it.

Full Story

Making our way towards the Pink Taco Bar, we noticed the rock-themed slot machines.
I saw one "The Sex Pistols" slot with Sid Vicious on the marquee.
To win, you have to line up three "censoreds" to hit the jackpot

To win on the "Ozzy slots," you have to line up three "stomped puppys,"
and for The Who's "Won't Get Fooled Again," slots, you need three "G-chords.."

Also, at the Hard Rock, they have real music running over the PA.
We heard two Garbage songs walking thru, looking at the exhibits.
By comparison, swear to Koresh, at The Venetian we heard Debby Boone's "You Light Up My Life."

Because of that, and some other things we'll get into later, we decided to give the Hard Rock
our business next time we get to fabulous Las Vegas.

So we finally get to the Pink Taco and I met the manager, the gorgeous Mary Carpenter.
She looked like a cross between Barbi Benton and Cindy Crawford, and she was sharp.
She gave us more attention that we deserved, too.
She wanted to be sure Tequilaboy was well taken care of.

I just noticed - her business card says "Room Manager."
I checked to see if she'd written a Room Number on the back, but no such luck  :)
(Just kidding, Mary.   It's a comedy page)

Dave, the on-duty manager I was supposed to meet had his schedule changed so Mary
sat down with us and worked out a payment plan. Basically, she said we could buy half-shots
or even quarter shots of the really expensive stuff, and that worked out perfect.

Just to make things extra dramatic, I told them I needed an off-the-path booth,
(They gave me the Melissa Etheridge table, I was impressed) and I said I needed a glass of ice water
and a glass of room temp water. This gave them the impression that I knew what I was doing.

They showed me their long and impressive tequila list.
I wrote down a list of tequilas I needed to try, and told them to bring me half-shots of
the first three and a full shot of Chinaco Anejo, which I used as a reference point.
(Mrs. BartCop had a Patron margarita)

Round One
The first three contenders were
Herencia Anejo
Romance Anejo - wait, does that ring a bell?

Remember this guy from Volume 260 - September ?

   This bottle has TWO tequila's inside, thus two spouts.

I saw it in the Grape and Grain Liquors in Aspen, but look at that price!
$127 for a bottle of tequila that's not Chinaco Anejo?
Are you kidding me?
Anyway, I saw it on the list, so I said, "Make it so."

Lastly, they had Herradura Selecion Suprema, which was $30 a shot, or $325 a bottle

Koresh, these are real tequilas with real tequila prices!

The Hard Rock has the best tequila prices I've ever seen.
The Chinaco-class shots were only $5-6,  that's a damn good bargain.
The waiter assigned to us by Mary said Hard Rock owner Peter Morton knows
he can raise prices and people will accept it, but he's keeping them low just to be a good guy.
I'll bet he's a Democrat.

In front of me were the three contenders, so I jumped right in.
The Herencia Anejo was woody and it was nice.
The Romance was thick, sticky and syrupy,
but the Herradura Selecion Suprema was just that - it was supreme.

I need to say this sometime, might as well say it now.
I don't have the brains, the palate, the training or the vocabulary to describe tequilas.
On some of these, all I wrote down was "good" or "bad."
This grasshopper needs a  tequila sensei, a mentor to guide me thru the tequila jungle.
I need someone who can say, "Try this one, and notice the peppery butter aftertaste.
Try this one, and notice the pears, the baked apple and the wildflowers."
Anyone know of a good tequila sensei for hire?]

So in Round One, the Herencia was good, the Romance was molasses but the
Herradura Selecion Suprema was downright fantastic, and it needs to be for $15 for a half shot.
With just a few sips missing from the shots in Round One, we started Round Two.

Round Two would prove to be very serious.
I ordered some Casa Noble Anejo,
some Perfidio Barrique and some Rey de Copas Anejo.

First up was Casa Noble.

I'd tried some Casa Noble in Volume 260, but this was different - better.
I thought maybe the guys at The Coyote Cafe left the top off the bottle one night,
but our waiter Mike, said that the bartender sent me a special Easter Egg.
It wasn't really Casa Noble Anejo, it was Casa Noble Anejo extra-aged.

ha ha

Next up was Rey de Copas Anejo.
The third entry in Round Two was Perfidio Barrique.

Hold onto your chair - the Perfidio Barrique is $65 a shot, $700 a bottle.
That's not a misprint - it's $700 a bottle, like it was from the goddamn Titanic or something.

Well, Mary wisely fixed me up with a quarter shot of Perfidio Barrique.

How did they do?

On the Rey de Copas, My notes say, "tasted green, but OK, kinda peppery."
(See? I could really use a tequila education from a young, eager and talented female tequila sensei.)

The Casa Noble Anejo extra-aged was spectacular.

But the extra-expensive Porfidio Barrique was nothing special.
The Herradura Selecion Suprema was easily a better tasting drink,
and it was half the price of the $700 a bottle Porfidio Barrique.

Really, how can you measure $700 tequila?
There's no way in hell it's going to be fifteen times better than Chinaco.
Hell, I didn't think it was as good as Chinaco, and the distillers want $700 a bottle for it?

So the winner of Round Two, no doubt, was Casa Noble Anejoextra-aged.
I'd like to get hold of a bottle of that, sometime.

Round Three was next.
First up was Almendrada, which was an almond-tasting tequila.
It wasn't a hint of almonds, it was almond-tequila.

For perspective, I got another half-shot of the Cuervo Familia Reserva,
which still tasted good, to my surprise.

Last was Milagro Anejo, which was "fine & tasty."

I wasn't too fond of the almonds, and I'm still leary of Cuervo's "finest,"
so we let the Milagro win the Third Round.

So, I'm sitting there at the Pink Taco with ten partial shots of fine tequila in front of me,
realizing how rare this moment was and savoring every second of it.

I'd do a sip of this, take a drink of room temp water, then a sip of that.
Then I'd do a sip of this, munch on some salsa, then a sip of that.
It was very nice. Of course, none could beat the fruity flavor of the Chinaco Anejo,
but we're trying to build some suspense and write a story, you know?

Round Up
I didn't like the Romance syrup, and the Herancia was good, but not the best.
Certainly, the Herradura Selecion Suprema won Round One.
But really, for $30 a shot, you should get a great tequila and oral sex.

The Rey de Copas was fine, tha Perfidio Barrique was woefully overpriced,
so the Casa Noble Anejo extra-aged took Round Two with no problem.

Round Three would prove to be a tie, between the Cuervo Familia Reserva and the Milagro.

So who won?
The winners of Round Three weren't as good as the winners of Rounds One and Two
so we decided to put the Herradura Selecion Suprema up against the Casa Noble Anejo extra-aged
at the finals the next day with Shannon at The Venetian's Taqueria Cononita.

I'd been in Vegas about nine hours and was needing a second nap.

After I'd executed the last of the shots, the bill came - $70.
That's a great price, considering just two shots were priced at $100 retail.

As we were leaving, we noticed they had wheelchairs by the front door.
Smart move.

Like a hospital, they don't want anyone leaving to get hurt.
Mike told me most of the people who really tank up (and screw up) on the tequila
were people staying in the casino/hotel anyway, so they use the wheelchairs to
move the unfortunates from the Pink Taco to the elevators - then hope for the best.

Mary & Mike, thanks - you took real good care of us.

 See trip1201.htm  for more

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