Subject: punk-ass kid goes to Baghdad 


Now, about this story, there are so many things to criticise about this I don't know where to begin, 
it reads more like an Adam Sandler movie plot than an actual event.

This is essentially a rich assed preppy kid from Fort Lauderdale who gets given a couple of grand 
by his mommy and daddy and uses it trying to see the situation in Iraq like a younger Mr. McGoo. 
The Punk then tries to sneak into a war zone by paying fucking taxicabs to drive him to the God damned 
Kuwait/Iraq border and balks at the extortionist rates for a cab ride that would almost certainly get the 
cabbie shot or imprisoned for attempting in the first place.

After spending an average Americans weekly fucking salary on taxi fare and almost getting in a fistfight 
with a cabbie (Mel Brooks couldn't write crap this absurd), the bleary eyed idealistic preppy bastard 
flies to Beirut to be with his slightly less rich-assed Lebanese (though obviously well connected if they 
could get him on one of the rare commercial planes into the old Sadaam International Airport) relatives 
and flies from there to Baghdad.

He then goes to the fucking Fortresslike so-called "Green Zone" of the city and gets a hotel room in 
the hotel where almost every non-military non-contractor White dude in the country is staying, goes to 
a restaurant across the street behind a goddamned Bremer Wall (a 10 ft high, 3 ft thick concrete Jersey 
barrier surrounding most buildings in the Green Zone or on US bases)  and tries to order food and 
"muck it up" with the locals.  The dumbass doesn't speak a word of Arabic (better to be mistaken for a 
Cuban than a raghead in Miami apparently) and uses a fucking tourist phrasebook (If I'm lyin' I'm dyin') 
to try to order something.

The Iraqis in this restaurant look at the punk like the fresh kidnap meat he probably was, and he gets 
his stupid rich ass back to the hotel before he winds up on an exclusive from Al JaFuckinZeera.

He's then flown by the 101st Airborne at taxpayer goddamned expense back to Fort Lauderdale, 
but not before handing in a journalistic essay for his fucking private school rich assed gated community 
preppy class to the whoring dumbfucks at the Associated Press.

 ha ha
I like what you said about the whores at the AP.

Jesus Fucking Allah Rimming Buddha with Moses getting a blowjob! 

Dude, I'm not sure you're being politically correct!

The kickers to all this mess, the fucking punk writes an essay that spouts off the Good American 
democracy spreaders vs. evil Iraqi insurgent Islamofascists bullshit and does it with a hackjob 
writing style worse than if Jeff the Fudge Packing Top Gannon cowrote with Rush the Vulgar Pigboy. 

When he got home, his mother probably grounded him to inside their fucking gated community 'til 
he goes to college, but my money's on Rummy trying to give the punk a  reporting gig with an Iraqi paper! 

Carl McMack

I didn't have a problem with the punk-ass kid, as long as we don't 
have to watch his beheading on CNN every five minutes.

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